May 11th, 2009

Sleaze Meter Poll Looks Bad for Blears

PoliticsHome polled its PHI100 panel of Westminster insiders for their assessment this morning and on a scale of zero to 100 Hazel came out worst. Is this reallynot just a factor of visibility? Blears has behaved disgracefully, but twice as bad as the next sleaziest government minister? Hoon’s sleaziness seems grossly underestimated…

PoliticsHome Sleazemeter


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck me gently, surely Iain Wright deserves a ‘recount’ ??

    Or is it a mis-print, and they meant to put ’80’ rather than ‘8’ ??

    He deserves far more of a roasting !

  2. 2
    TGJ says:

    Where is Ed Balls in all this?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    This PHI panel is shit.

    They should expose these shysters to the ‘Wisdom of Crowds’ outside the Westminster Village.

    Otherwise it is just ‘settling of scores’.

  4. 4

    The media narrative is working, straight into brown’s hands.

    Get all the blame on blears and then lance her.

    There seem to be ones just as bad in her party that need lancing too.

  5. 5
    Tony Blair says:

    I am so delighted to see a “Hoon” in the top ten, pop-pickers

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking A !! How did Ben Bradshaw get only 17 ??

    Are gayers given some kind of immunity against sleaze allegations ??

    Is there a ‘positive discrimination’ loading applied after voting to make it more PC ??

  7. 7
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    This is the USUAL SPIN guido…

    You should know better….

  8. 8

    exactly, he`ll sack blears and berate her on tv then he`ll figure we`ll forget the rest.

  9. 9

    All of these hoons need to hear about the Pay It Back Campaign. We want our money back!

  10. 10
    Anatolie says:

    Maybe in politics its good to be considered a sleze bag becaus it showes that you is a cold harted persen with the qalities that is nesesary to sucseed in a cruel environment like in politics?

    I also think that it has alwayes been like that in politics anyway.

  11. 11
    digger says:

    guiod,you obviously don’t read kitty ussher’s blog.apparently she’s been completely exonerated.

    glad to help

  12. 12

    I demand a recount!!

    I’m much sleazier than Hazel

  13. 13
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    Prezza at 23……..

    You must be joking…

  14. 14
    Clartmonkey says:

    Tomorrow’s “Scotsman” headline:

    “Alex Salmond near bottom of Westminster ‘confidence’ poll!”

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    This should be like the golf – those on similar scores should have to take part in a ‘sleaze play off’…

    Alan Duncan vs Francis Maude in a game of fourballs.. [ missus]

    And how would you separate Michael Gove, Phil Woolas and Martin McGuinness..

    [stop sniggering at the back ]

    The very least that should happen is the ‘Top Ten’ should go on telly and show some contrition in sackcloth and ashes.

  16. 16
    Hugh Janus says:

    And Gorbals deserves a much higher placing – he’s got form don’t forget.

  17. 17
    Flipper says:

    Bloody good question.

    Something fishy going on here. The Balls-Coopers were allegedly taking toughing to Olympic standards, but nary a word!

    Surprised that the loathsome Vaz only scores at 43%. He’ll feel he’s been missing out now.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Now lets have a meter count for perceptions of insanity and see who comes out on top.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s Margaret Moran? (and don’t say Luton – we all know she’s never there)

  20. 20
    Carlos says:

    Now this is the interesting thing, isn’t it? Balls/Cooper plc appear to have nothing said about them.


    Am sure that there is something to come on those two utter hoons. I really do hope it’s catastrophically bad for them….!

  21. 21
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Blears will be Brown’s sacrificial squirrel.

  22. 22
    Stormy says:

    Where the hell is the expenses trailblazer herself, Jacqui Smith and her wonderful husband?

  23. 23
    Hushberlin says:

    Hard to pick who stands out as the worst offender in all of these, there are so many grasping, amoral, self-justifying, out of touch fleecers of the public purse to choose from.

    But my vote for the worst so far goes to Margaret Moran. I hope it’s the last vote she ever gets.

  24. 24
    Commissioner of the Met says:


    The Mayor of London and the Home Secretary have instructed me to drop the investigation of the leaking of data from the Commons Fees Office.

    This now leaves me the time to prosecute the multiple theft, conspiracy and fraud in and relating to the said Fees Office

    End of communique

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    How the fuck can Michael Martin merit ‘only’ a 39, when he is the fucking cause of half the problem due to being unable to have the balls to stick up for the head of the ‘Fees Office’ and shtting upon him from a great height for rocking the boat ???

    Of course the Chipmunk is ‘on the make and on the take..’ but MICHAEL MARTIN IS THE FUCKING RINGLEADER AND HE IS BEING LET OFF THE HOOK !!!!

    Maybe a transposition error has occurred, as he certainly deserves a score of 93 !!!

  26. 26
    The Beast of Clarkenwell says:

    She’s the only one that I would fuck.
    Fucking hell
    Iain Dale is a screaming queen and even he fancies her
    Dirty little ginger minged troughing w****

  27. 27
    IRB says:

    Apparently a compliant was made against her.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Politics Home’ is not unbiased.
    It is institutionally left-leaning.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    pissed off says:

    politicians are all sleazy scumbags out to scam as much csh as they can.

    I have two children, my daughter who is very political will have nothing to do with party politics as ‘they are all sleazy’…my son who has never had a political thought in his life is very keen on a career in politics once he found out how much they scam. so in 10 years time if a politician tells you he is only doing the job to trough as much cash as possible you know who it is!

    if the current lot would be as honest it would be less nausiating…all this ‘I haven’t broken any rules’ makes me want to heave.

  31. 31
    DT Editor says:

    We having a 16 page pull-out special for Ed and family.

  32. 32
    Worse than Italy says:

    It’s deffo profile and visibility. The well known Sinn Fein members are at the top of the list and the lesser known members (to a British audience) are way down the bottom, yet they’re all accused of the same “crime” of abstentionism which their voters fully support, funnily enough.

    Nice to see that Michael Gove and Martin McGuiness are considered equally sleazy.

    That’ll certainly comfort Michael through this difficult time

  33. 33
    Carlos says:

    Odd, my initial answer never made it.

    Anyway, I suspect that Balls and his odious “wife” may well be the coup de grace of this little affair. I certainly hope they are. The silence about them at the moment is palpable, as if there’s a gathering storm around them….

  34. 34
    Nick Yerwatch says:

    This is of course the amount of sleaze claimed by each member directly. Other family members may have been given further sleaze and sleaze flipping whilst immoral,is within the rules .

    All sleaze has been acquired with the greatest integrity and in good faith.

  35. 35
    DT Editor says:

    I’m soo excited I can’t type properly.

  36. 36
    eye-eye says:

    So far as I am cocerned a packet of Ice Gems has the sleaze value asb a £20,000 flip. It’s the intention to defraud.

    They are all 100% in my book

  37. 37
    BillG says:

    Too right the Morons have forgot their seaside lover

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Guido – no Liberals here?

    Are we waiting on something from you? Or is Rennard to left to get away with conning the general public that this is his second home

    Incidentally does nobody find it odd that he has two jobs? Full time as Chief Officer of a party and supposedly a working peer which is also supposed to be full time. Which is it he does? Or does he do the day job and just vote occasionally?

  39. 39
    Tosser says:

    Is my Jacqui (Smith) there? Or off the scale>

  40. 40
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    Of course they are…

    Any attacks on faggots are immediately dezcribed as homophobic…didnt’ you know ?

    Like that they can get away with anything…like some other categories we are not allowed to mention in this country any more, which formerly cherished free speech…like Muslims, Jews, Scots etc…

    Time to leave…sadly…

  41. 41
    Fluffy Freeman says:

    I an’t see anything but hoons.

  42. 42
    Hazel Blears says:

    I think he deserves a 69 troughing at my ginger Hoon

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    No Balls & Balls! Stop teasing Guido.

  44. 44
    Papasmurf says:

    So on this SUBJECTIVE Poll a simple average of adding the score and dividing the number of troughers is

    Labour 23.54 Sleaze rating

    Conservative 28 Sleaze rating

    But staistics can say anything

  45. 45
    Pete says:

    How Margaret Moran isn’t on here I don’t know – she should be top. Almost feel sorry for Blears being shafted by her own party.

  46. 46
    Blind Bloke says:

    Any news today?

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    And combine that with the fact that it is the Tories in the news today.
    Give it a week and see who still sticks in the memory.

  48. 48
    anon says:

    Twelve years ago TB had the mainstream thinking Labour was ‘purer than pure’.

  49. 49
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    Falling over you mean…!

  50. 50
    Pienomics says:

    I hope so. Vipers.

  51. 51
    Backwoodsman says:

    God Beast, I knew you were a perv, but dwarfism ?
    Whoever nominated the hoons in that order, clearly has the attention span of a gnat – Yes, Duncan and Maude were in the paper today, no they are not in the same category of hoonishness as vaz / the hoonmeister himself / citizensmiff/

  52. 52
    The Kuntocracy says:

    eat shit and die plebs

  53. 53
    P.C. Filth says:

    Shut the door on your way out, sir. Over.

  54. 54
    John Prescnut says:

    I wouldn’t get my chipolata out for anything less than a score of 55. Ask my laptop secretary.

  55. 55
    Cardinal del Monte says:

    What’s become of Jacqui Smith? She whose “main home” is a room in her sister’s house, in which she spends 3 nights a week? (Shurely shome mishtake – Ed.)

  56. 56
    Captain Panick says:

    I can’t seem to find Jackie Smith and Tony McNulty on the list!!

  57. 57
    Grauniad Editor says:

    YOU are hired.

  58. 58
    Spin Doctor says:

    Ben Bradshaw should be right behind Alan Duncan!

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    he didn’t say he’d respect her in the morning…

  60. 60
    P.C. Filth says:

    Plenty of sleaze to go around folks. Move along please. Over.

  61. 61
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Absolutely, and used taxpayers money hiring barristers to try to put a lid on it!

    How much was the our legal bill?? Was it £150,000? WE paid, it did not cost him a penny!!

    Trougherking in my opinion.

  62. 62
    Hushberlin says:

    Margaret Moran’s personal website has the strapline ‘Making Luton South a Better Place to Live’.

    You couldn’t make it up.

    See:, but don’t expect the comments function to work.

    Nice work the person who updated her wikipedia entry to include the quotes from the BBC Politics Show:

    Andrew Sinclair: But why should the taxpayer pay for your home in Southampton when clearly you are not using it for work?

    Margaret Moran: Well, I… I… I…you could argue that I use it to be able to sustain my work. Any MP has to have a proper family life.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Michael Gove does not deserve to be so high on that list.

  64. 64
    Flipper says:

    Not to worry.

    When the shit hits the fan they will have a great future in panto.

    I think Yvette would make an excellent Peter Pan, and Ed would make a credible Smee to Gordon’s slightly insane Captain Hook.

    The rest of the Labour party can play the Lost (deposit) Boys.

    See you all at the end of Cromer Pier!

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    No, there are always Labour ‘Deadheads’ willing to put a little X in the box marked Labour

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Blears = From Chipmunk to Scapegoat in one week.

    Don’t change the system, just make Chipmunk the ‘Fred Goodwin’ which must be sacrificed, and then everything will be hunky dory.

    Well, it won’t, but people will soon be asking ‘Who the fuck is Gordon Pell ?’

    Jobbie Done…

  67. 67
    Technomist says:

    I never thought I would live to see the day that Keith Vaz didn’t look like qualifying for the Champions League of Sleaze. Still, he’s probably got a game or two in hand, eh?

  68. 68
    anon says:

    Are second homes supposed to be in London or constituencies? Have any second homes been elsewhere? Second homes should normally or always be in London itself and should always be state owned. When politicians ‘cease to be MPs’ they should vacate their second homes which should become occupied by a new MP for their duration in parliament. The food allowance should be abolished. Food should be the first purpose of the actual salary, whatever building an MP is residing in.

  69. 69
    Taxfodder says:

    Saw her on TV trying to defend her expenses, it was a bit like her explaining to a child how she had to take away the nasty the ice cream and eat it to help save on the cost of the childs NHS dentistry bill to the taxpayer.

  70. 70
    Notioanl Audit Office says:

    Squirrel Nutkin??

    Nah!! – a slip there somewhere.

    Or else stats these were compiled by the MacBroon-Bollocks axis

  71. 71
    Laughing at Gordon says:

    Jackboots was already dealt with a couple of weeks ago – the story of her husband’s blurring fist is old news. This is fresh meat…

  72. 72
    Neil Anderson says:

    omnia munda mundis

  73. 73
    A Fashionista says:

    It is the new 5 inch killers heels

  74. 74
    It all started in America you bastards!!!! says:

    That HuntE Vaz and Gerry adams should be at the top. both total fucking twats.

  75. 75
    Worse than Italy says:

    She was exonerated for a previous sleazebag episode.

    She’s still in the frame for this one!!

  76. 76
    Perry Neeham says:

    hee, hee, hee

  77. 77
    Another mad Fife git says:

    Take that list to the next polling day – it’s as easy as that

  78. 78
    a.t. says:

    Straw hiding I notice, hoping to avoid attention.
    No excuse for his council tax fraud. No ifs, buts or maybes – that’s the sort of stuff a prole would end up in the dock over.
    He’s a thief.
    Destroy him.

  79. 79
    Pest Controller says:

    Yeah . . . . . well . . . that fucker had a lot of people thinking a lot of things . . . all different to what HE meant . . . scheming little parasite

  80. 80
    It all started in America you bastards!!!! says:

    Yes, those dead heads are called Glasgow & Liverpool.

  81. 81
    MisterE says:

    I’ve read comments on other sites that Mr & Mr Balls, and also Speaker Michael Martin, have taken an injunction out against the Telegraph preventing them from revealing their expenses…

    Don’t know if it’s true, but wouldn’t be surprised.

  82. 82
    angry french john says:

    Really think it’s about time Sir Guido started on the Eurospongers. Lets find out how much the Ginger Taffy Twat claims. Oh… and his family!!!

  83. 83
    Jonathan Cook says:

    The silence is deafening with respect Westminster’s dodgiest politician……

  84. 84
    Alan Mullet says:

    Do the decent thing you bastards. We know it’s hard for you but life IS hard. While we’re on this subject – Tony B; please pay back our ** billions that you squandered on an illegal war.

    ** someone fill in the number for me. Cheers.

  85. 85
    Worse than Italy says:

    Flipping is the most serious of all the offences mentioned so far.

  86. 86
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Do these twats get searched on the way out of Parliament? They fucking well should do.

  87. 87
    xxxx-files says:

    I wanna know: Why is Wendy’s brother Wee Doogie Alexander at the bottom of this pile of money-motivated grasping and duplicitous contamination?

    He went on the coattails of Lord Gould’s PR & Consultancy firm (AKA Tesco’s link to number 10 during the NuLabor project architecture years) all the way to Washington, flights and accommodation provided. Who was the paymeister Herr general during that fiddle? Was it worse than mere theft of tax-payer’s money?

    There’s more to bilderberg than Molder & Scully can imagine.

  88. 88
    Augeas says:

    These people have the attention span of gnats. How is Duncan worse than Darling? So much for the protective effect of being gay…

  89. 89

    I have launched the ‘Pay it back’ campaign to encourage MPs to pay back everything that goes beyond the spirit of the claims system.

    Also on Twitter via #Payitback

  90. 90
    HandsomeDavid says:

    lol – they have all been on the “I can do no wrong” course.

  91. 91
    Cardinal del Monte says:

    An attack on a faggot would by definition be homophobic, just as an attack on a yid or dirty jew would be antisemitic.

  92. 92
    P.C. Filth says:

    Should I take my truncheon or my tickle-stick, sir? Over.

  93. 93
    killemallletgodsortemout says:

    Thanks, Beast. I thought it was just me.

  94. 94
    input from the FBI says:

    Edd Balls was also a bilderberg attendee

    Your sincerely,

    Scolder and Mully

  95. 95
    Wolfe J Flywheel Tone says:

    Gerry and the other Peacemakers would

    justify troughing because its the cutting edge of the war against the Brits.

    I’d say few of his voters would be too outraged either

  96. 96
    reg511 says:

    Spliff is obviously chip wrapping, eh?

  97. 97
    insert-coin-here says:

    Douglas Carswell starting the REAL fightback.

    Get behind the guy Guido!!!!!

  98. 98
    Technomist says:

    Maybe they can let us know by publishing the HIgh Court cause lists – if there is a gap in the published judges’ timetable and court schedules, a nod would be good as a wink.

  99. 99
    Udderly 'orrible says:

    Where is the Bo*llocksing Baroness of Udderly Disgraceful?

  100. 100
    bergen says:

    I did appreciate the wee Duggie Alexander entry.It takes balls to underinsure your property then obtain the balance of the claim from the rest of us.

    Can anyone produce a rational reason why that claim was met(troughing apart)?

  101. 101
    NowYouKnowWhyItsOnlyUsThatCallOurselvesHonourable says:

    I’ve noticed the traditional party values are broadly reflected in the troughing. Labour do seem to be fiddling what normal people (un-honorable?) consider the essentials, like food, clothing and housing whereas the tories snaffle tennis court repairs, gardens, repairs to ridearound lawnmowers only useful in acres of lawns etc.

    Wait till we hear about the first swimming pool or other such mega extravaganza. Bet its a tory and bet the outcry forces their resignation the next day.

  102. 102
    Sir William Waad says:

    Salmond’s bar should be dark blue, not yellow. Or tartan.

  103. 103
    Flipper says:


    Especially when you tell HMRC that one residence is your main home for the purposes of evading Capital Gains Tax while telling the Fees Office that it is your secondary home to max out the expenses claims.

    F R A U D


  104. 104
    MisterE says:

    *revisits lunch*

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Spells a bit like DES…

  106. 106
    eye-eye says:

    This fellow would get my vote. He’s calling for the speaker to resign.
    Lifted this from his site, it gives me some hope

    Last summer, Dan Hannan and I wrote The Plan, in which we advocated a specific programme to clean up Westminster. It included:

    •Abolishing MPs’ perks – including the Additional Cost Allowance and the Communications Allowance.
    •MPs to be bound by the same laws as everybody else – bar Article IX of the Bill of Rights of 1689
    •Electing Commons Speaker by secret ballot – no more Whips office patsies in the role
    •Electing select Committee chairmen by secret ballot – again, no more Whips running the show.
    •Confirmation hearings for Whitehall chiefs – Sir Gus O’Donnell and the Sir Humphrey Appleby-types might not like it, but that’s a bonus.
    •Select committees to confirm annual budgets for Whitehall departments – Voting to approve supply, is after all, the reason we invented Parliament in the first place – yet it no longer seems to fulfil this role.
    •Scrap state-subsidised politics – including election broadcasts, leaflets and “Short money”. With the internet and YouTube, the costs of doing politics could be lower than ever. Time for political parties to cut their cloth according to their own means, perhaps?
    •Direct democracy, including open primiaries and popular initiative, to make politicians answer to us – not the other way round.
    “It’ll never happen” someone told me. “MPs won’t accept it”. Perhaps soon they’ll not have much choice.

    Posted on 10 May 2009 by Douglas Carswell

  107. 107
    Bertie Ahern says:

    Don’t fall for the Liebour scapegoat Blears look at Balls & Cooper.

    Ball & Cooper….. Each eard £141866. x 2 = £283732
    Balls pension….. £38020
    Coopers pension.. £38020
    Balls benefit fiddles…… £239053
    Cooper benefit fiddles…. £232542

    TOTAL TAKE HOME PAY……………………………..£831367

    12 years in Government work that out….

  108. 108
    blood boiling says:

    Then the DT should publish and be damned! Imagine the row if the DT editor is jailed for revealing the full extent of the truth.

  109. 109
    Technomist says:

    Just pop the kettle on, there’s a good lad

  110. 110
    anon says:

    Has any second home ever been declared outside both London and the relevant constituency?

  111. 111
    St George Spits says:

    Why isn’t Uddin on the list ?

    Blears is being set up as the sacrificial lamb.

  112. 112
    ex-soldier says:

    I’m surprised that Broon’s that low down. Blears is guilty of being a chipmunk and a chump but nothing else.

  113. 113
    Sir William Waad says:

    Hazel Blears
    Realised her worst fears
    But Geoff Hoon
    Should have been over the moon

  114. 114
    Subversive Insanity-meter Maker says:

    Our meters only go to 11.

  115. 115
    Geordie Scoot says:

    The list is patently incomplete and the scale must be log-10. I cannot help but note that in the period when he was Defence Secretary, when our lads were in harm’s way in Iraq without proper body armour and with inadequate vehicles and no helicopters, our belowed Hoon began his personal quest to amass his property fortune at taxpayers’ expense, whilst shrugging his shoulders about MOD failures. He obviously has a keen sense of priorities. I do hope that some regiment will adopt him as their mascot and tie him to the front of a landrover for Taleban-baiting duties or mine clearing in Helmand.

  116. 116
    Richard Timney's hanky says:

    Both hands on the keyboard

  117. 117
    Geo says:

    isnt squirrel hazelnut being used as a scapegoat here?
    To mix metaphors as a sacrificial lamb as her usefulness is now zero except as a decoy from all the other troughing hoons.
    I have no love for the cheerleading midget (and will vigorously litigate if any co-conspirator says otherwise) but to be hung out to dry by the very people you have shamelessly bigged up is crass even by zanulabour standards.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    The PR dollies in No. 10 are desperately briefing against Blears in order to deflect attention from the likes of Hoon. One of them used to work closely with him…maybe a bit of loyalty in New Labour at last, however misguided?

  119. 119
    Rt Hon Peter Hain MP says:

    Guido, I hope you have the integrity to inform your readers and the wider world, Peter Hain that does not register on the Sleazemeter.
    I demand that you retract all your sleazy allegations hurled at me by you over thyears.

  120. 120
    RavingMad says:

    Tuned in to listen to the Mr Speaker Show only to find Purnell, McNulty and Ussher on at DWP questions.

    How can these 3 scavenging cnuts have the audacity to appear as if nothing’s wrong here? Why don’t the opposition parties just walk out, refuse to have anything to do with them – oh, yes, they’re all in it together.

    Dissolve Parliament NOW

  121. 121
    Geordie Scoot says:

    Check out Margaret Moron, MP for Luton – second home in Southampton

  122. 122
    Palace of Wasteminster says:

    I was brought up to believe that ‘Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men”.
    In other words, think for yourself.
    Apparently British politics doesn’t do wise men any more, hence the utter mess we are in.

  123. 123

    ya moran did it

  124. 124
    Tumbrils "R" Us says:

    and where are Mr and Mrs Expenses themselves, Alan and Ann Keen in their neighbouring west London constituencies. Tumbrils were usually used for transporting dung – seems appropriate.

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    He didn’t ‘flip’ – it was a genuine change of circumstances. Get you facts right at least, before you start defaming people.

  126. 126
    RavingMad says:

    Don’t come here demanding of Guido or anyone else. This is the Court of Public Opinion and you, mate, are found sadly wanting. Now piss off before I get MAD!!!

  127. 127
    Vimeiro says:

    I don’t know, watching them in TV, would probably be the other way round.

  128. 128
    Pissed off voter says:

    Jacqui Smith does not get an entry? For me that undermines the entire chart. Of course, it may simply be that the scores are more a reflection of the more recently publicised cases because there are so many crooks it taxes the best of memories.

  129. 129
    Grauniad Sub-Editor says:

    But we let him go last week!?!

  130. 130
    AJC says:

    Don’t forget Peter Hain. Can he really be whiter than white (or orange)?


  131. 131
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Haven’t you got a cricket pitch to vandalise?

  132. 132
    Nick Yerwatch says:

    Don’t forget we do have some rights which might be worth exercising:
    August is the month when most councils and police authorities must by law throw open their account books for 20 days so the public can inspect them. This right is granted under Section 15 of the Audit Commission Act 1998. This law allows any elector or taxpayer in the area to inspect and make their own copies of all the detailed contracts, invoices, receipts, books and bills that are related to the accounts of the recent financial year for the council or police authority.

    What if we all went on the same day………..

  133. 133
    Flipper says:

    Gorbals Mick Sings…

    “Commons Speaker Michael Martin is set to make a statement at 1530 BST on MPs’ expenses.”

    Should be fun.

  134. 134
    EC1 PhD says:

    Crash helmets all round if Gorbals plays four-balls.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Check out Margaret Moran – is it something to do with ginger hair and freckles ?

  136. 136
    Peter Grimes says:

    Has Woolas sued the Daily Labourgraph yet for wrongly attributing a six-invoice claim for £210.31 to a reimbursed £210.31 using the said receipts, complete with Woolas’ tampons/sanitary towels/dress?

    Utter hoon thought he could get away with it if he bluffed it out as ZaNuLieBor have done for 12 years.

    The c.unt just doesn’t get that the rules have changed!

  137. 137
    Pissed off voter says:

    sacking Blears will set the precedent, then the floodgates can open.

  138. 138
    Poet Laureate x says:

    This is a tale of Phil Woolas
    Who made himself look like a fool-ass
    He thought he was ‘on’
    And bought a tampon
    Now they are calling him Nu-Lass.

  139. 139
    ZANU Chief Whip says:








  140. 140
    Margaret Moran MP says:

    Please leave a message of encouragement for me at:-

    Many thanks

  141. 141
    Max says:

    He didn’t flip he apparently genuinely moved house; Spectator article Here. HT Tory Bear, who also say he’s gone for the lawyers.

  142. 142
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    I am looing forward to the “discovery” in this case…

    This MP will go down as the most pitiful in the whole of this sordid saga…

  143. 143
    Twizzle says:

    Surely, they’d be lesbian lovers?

  144. 144
    Sunday Telegraph says:

    There has never been any suggestion of any impropriety on the part of the Prime Minister or his brother.

  145. 145
    Harriet Harman says:

    In the court of public opinion they all acted within the rules

  146. 146
    Augeas says:

    What, essentials like buy-to-let homes and rolling programmes of repairs across an extensive property portfolio? Haven’t you noticed how often these places are let out immediately after having been done up at tax payers expense? That’s why they need so much furniture and so many repairs. Normal people my arse! It’s just your tribal prejudice showing through.

  147. 147
    It's all Balls says:

    Speaker Martin statement live at 15:30 ie now

  148. 148
    Ewanme says:

    500 litres of fake tan hardly registers , honey .

    E x .

  149. 149
    Peter Grimes says:

    You just can’t feel pity for a c.unt like Woolas who thinks that just by opening his lying gob the questions go away.

    The sheer fucking arrogance!!

  150. 150
    Plato says:

    Mr Darling has claimed for four different main homes in four years, can any of Guido’s readers who aren’t on benefits match this?

  151. 151
    Dr Nuts says:

    Where’s Margaret Moran?

    She’s done a blinder! What nobody noticed? I did – and am outraged.

  152. 152
    D L George says:


    While I agree Jackboot jackie is relatively old news, I still don’t see that excuses Her from the sleaze list. Also, McNulty? As the story broke late last week that He’s being investigated by the police, why on earth isn’t his name in there?

    I really don’t think there’s any excuse for those two to be missing, after all, TB’s in there and He left the party years ago.

  153. 153
    Blind Bloke says:

    You were simply appalling in The New Avengers. Love to St. Joanna.

  154. 154
    My Cat says:

    What about the Margaret Moran trougher from Luton?

  155. 155
    NooLyingBore standards Officer says:

    In contrast to . . . ?

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    More fucking nonsense from Gorbals Mick on the box NOW

  157. 157

    Do please stop using the word “earned”, Bertie, there’s a good chap.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    more shoot-the-messenger bollocks !!

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    gorbals ” I will take some points of order, but I’m fucking useless and I can’t do a fucking thing, and I know nothing..”

  160. 160
    Gerry Adams says:

    Just who is the HMRC inspector that will dare to come around to my house?
    Take a leaf out of Sinn Feins book
    Laugh at them, then shoot them if they push it too far.
    Its worked for Martin and myself, it can work for you .

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    What planet is Gorbals Mick on?
    He’s chuntering on about the police investigation into the leak, ffs!

  162. 162
    Abi Cuss says:

    Fuck that – ain’t got enough beads. It’s bad though.

  163. 163
    Flipper says:

    Good for ‘mad as a bat’ Kat Hoey

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals is fucking furious !! He totally doesn’t get it !!

  165. 165
    lololol says:

    See gorbals mick is miffed on parly tv.

  166. 166
    Master Baiter says:

    How much money have the property investing MPs lost in the last two years?

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals is losing it !!

  168. 168
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    You are insulting his Deputy Prime Minsiterial self (off tat was a long one…)

    I ‘av been silent on all of dis ‘cos the Mrs is toitally f’cked off…

    She say I spent all the people’s cash on a whore…Soho..high heels…and all that shyt…

    I siad but you love the Mock Goffick stuff luv…everyt’ing forgiven ?

    She ‘appy now…and the son is making loads of cash…ees finking of joining the circus…I showed him how to ye know…

    I’ve ccum a long way ye know…from serving all those Tory Toffs gin and tonics…

  169. 169

    considering that this board is moderated, I suspect in case someone says something that they haven’t been allowed to say then the way to find that out is see what doesn’t get through as a process of elimnation.

    So if your initial response never made it, perhaps you’ve found the needle!

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals is having a Gordo-style breakdown !!

    Rocking !!!

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    Chris Mullin kicking the Speaker…

  172. 172

    Anatolie – you are Borat and I claim my bottle-green mankini.

  173. 173

    message of encouragement sent :)

  174. 174
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Let Brown sack Blears, then it sets a precedent which can be visited on all the rest

    Call an election and pay the money back

  175. 175
    Honest Taxpayer says:

    Crash helmut lad…

    There has been a multiple car crash near Partliament Square..can see it from my window..Lots of people running for cover…

  176. 176

    […] good for Hazel Blears. On a scale of zero to 100, 100 been the sleaziest, Blears came out worst. As Guido points out, this could be down to […]

  177. 177
    Shaz says:

    Right hissy fit! “some of us have more responsibilities than to go running to the Press”

  178. 178
    Leave Jacqui A Loan (Not to be paid back of course!) says:

    Jacqui Smith is female and putting her on the list would be discriminating against her for being a woman.

  179. 179
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Let’s hope the fat bastard has a seizure.

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    NO. Sorry, but this proposal is a dangerous diversion and a political distraction.

    If they pay it back it will take the sting out of the story and they will argue that they are off the hook.

    I think that

    1) there should be a full fraud enquiry into claims that fail the ‘exclusively in the course of their work as an MP’ test;

    2) they should all pay income tax on anything that the Revenue would in every other normal walk of life class as a benefit in kind;

    3) they should pay capital gains tax on profit made from any additional property sold whilst they are an MP;

    4) an independent enquiry led by those not members of any political party should determine in each case whether the conduct of each individual mp was consistent with the high standards required for public office

    5) never again should we allow politicians the ability to control and order their own affairs. They have failed the integrity test.

    So DON’T just let them ‘pay it back'; independently investigate, prosecute, tax and disqualify, just as in any other propely run profession.

  181. 181

    ..or sacrificial yoda, possibly.

  182. 182
    lololol says:

    Sounds as if gorbal mick if fighting to keep his job.

  183. 183
    Max says:

    Michael Martin is hyper-ventilating and about to have a heart attack; he’s not interested in Tory/Lib Dem/Alternative points and determined to go down the “send in the Police” route. Death knell for them, MM does not “get it”; Carswell stands a bloody good chance (see above).

  184. 184
    Geordie Girl says:

    Was there ever a more venal, self serving, snivelling twat than that horrible man currently occupying the Speaker’s chair. I’m bloody seething watching that creature behaving like a union shop steward. He is the biggest disgrace in the HoC.

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals has referred to Ann Widdecombe as a MAN !!

    He is totally, royally irredeemably fucked !!

  186. 186
    jack says:

    “Hoon’s sleaziness seems grossly underestimated.”

    Surely you mean hoonderestimated.

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    let him kick harder!

  188. 188
    julian gardner says:

    Can anybody believe whats being said by the speaker of the house, he is shitting himself and the rest of the crooks


  189. 189
    NowYouKnowWhyItsOnlyUsThatCallOurselvesHonourable says:

    Margaret Beckett – now theres a name conspicuous by its absence. Theres a whiff here:

    but nothing following the publics recent enlightenment.
    Could her cosmetic surgery expenses in fact be the Telegraphs grand finale?

  190. 190
    Qui Custiodiet says:

    hear hear

  191. 191
    Ewanme says:

    I’d squat over her little chipmunk face an give her a golden shower an I’m quite choosey , hun x .

    E x .

  192. 192
    Master Baiter says:

    Are you anything to do with Benjamin Brittan and/or fishing?

  193. 193
    Cassius says:

    Now is the time to ensure that every MP understands that their votes at the next election may depend on how they vote on the Carswell motion.

    When is it likely to be tabled?

    How does the public show it’s support?

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    Patronising Patricia does at least acknowledge that is not the meeja’s fault for the ‘position we now find ourself in’…

  195. 195
    Worse than Italy says:

    Hmmmm. So rumours of a double somersault and tucked triple salco are a tad previous?

    I’m sure Schillings will be pleased.

    Funny though that Michael didn’t explain all this to Mr Brogan. It’s not as if he’s unfamiliar with the hacks, and they did give the Tories plenty of time to get their stories sorted.

  196. 196
    Flipper says:

    Speaker Martin:

    “I think it’s clear that it is time for me to move on”

    Never a truer word!

  197. 197
    Leaser says:

    While these MPs want the police to investigate how this information became public, I suggest the police investigating the leaking of citizens’s personal details from government databases, the leaving of memory sticks on buses and in taxis?

  198. 198
    The Man from UNCLE says:

    That is why the vile Uddin is beyond reproach in Neu Labour’s socialist paradise as she is a woman and a member of the ‘religion of peace’ peace be upon its postal voters in labour marginals.

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    In any other country Gorbals would be wearing a fucking concrete overcoat by now.

  200. 200
    Pitchfork_In_Hand says:

    unfuckingbelievable – we need to drag them kicking and screaming out of the place

  201. 201
    Mike Litorus says:

    Yes, they can especially if you set the window of the data to suit the result you want. Why not include the scores for all the MPs, instead of the ones in the chart and see what you get…

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    Just string the lot of ‘em up!
    This is disgusting.
    Crooks, the lot of ‘em.

    BBC R5 cuts away from Qs to the speaker -auntie trying to save his job

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals has lost it!!

  204. 204

    Getting our money back would be a start, with interest & penalties, then sackings and finally criminal charges.

    Hazel Blears rightly leads the list because two contradicting statements cannot both be true. She has either fiddled her expenses or her taxes.

    Hazel Blears must be sacked and prosecuted.

    I have reposted my video of her being eaten alive by a one eyed monster too. I made it when she told Gordon he was ‘lamentable’ and ‘youtube if you want to’ but obviously he didn’t have the appetite. Maybe now he will.

  205. 205

    One presumes that although absent from this list, Cleggy scored more than thirty.

  206. 206
    Anonymous says:

    What a fucking TWAT Gorbals Mick is.

  207. 207
    insert-coin-here says:


    Your post looks like a chimp has been playing tetris with letters.

    Is your keyboard missing some keys?

  208. 208
    Grisslier Adams says:

    Here here Gerry.

  209. 209
    Titus Finckter says:

    Agreed. He is a total fucking disgrace.

  210. 210
    Thirder says:


  211. 211
    Peter Kay says:

    been listening to the debate. they just dont get it. Numptys and crooks

  212. 212
    Anonymous says:

    Can anyone post the link to this magnificent broadcast please? News 24 much more interested in some celebrity marriage hitting the buffers – yawn….

  213. 213
    Anonymous says:

    The only thing that gorbals got right was to call Anne Widecombe a man.

    I trust Kate Hoey is now plotting a slow lingering painful end for Mick.

  214. 214
    Perry Neeham says:

    Yep, the People’s Chipmunk is about to sent to the Gulag by the Great Helmsman. Then he’ll re-wrtite history, airbrush her out of the Cabinet photographs and make her take all the blame at the same time.

    Not a bad result, but it’s a shame it couldn’t be Balls and his androgynous wife.

  215. 215
    Anonymous says:

    They are still so full of their own importance they’re whingeing about not being able to get into the sty.

    I hope Carswell gets backing but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

  216. 216
    Thirder says:

    Not before you give us our money back you Scottish ©UNT.

  217. 217
    Desperate Dan says:

    They have the absolute gall in the House of Commons to whinge and whine about keeping their addresses and other ‘private’ information secret when they’ve lost all our secret information over and over again. They’ve mislaid our addresses, tax details, national insurance details, child support details, defence details, military personal details, medical details, bank account details, passwords, dates of birth and they are planning to lose our medical records. Nothing sent in the post is safe any more so through their mismanagement its common to lose passports, driving licences, tax discs and bank cards.
    How dare these self-obsessed crooks still assume that they should be exempt from the consequences of their actions.

  218. 218
    Two left flippers says:

    Lift it up on song

  219. 219
    lololol says:

    Harperson has gone onto the unequality bill now,were all equal but some are more equal than others,cow.

  220. 220
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    How is that 500 Tamils can protest in Parliament Square!

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

    Equality Bill? Some are more equal than others, natch. They’ve got some cheek to pontificate and make more laws after what they’ve been up to.

  222. 222
    Rexel 56 says:

    Watch Harperson and weep

  223. 223
    Minekiller says:

    It is an interesting graph. From this sample, we can look at the top ten and conclude that since 8 from the 10 are Labour or their terrorist allies Sinn Fein, 80% of crooked politicians are socialists.

  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

    Cashing a cheque from the Telegraph

  225. 225
    John says:

    The speaker considered going to court to block the publication, what a fool, and to do a Gordon Brown when chalenged by MPs. Perhaps he is being set up as the fall guy, with leaks about his opposition to reforms?

  226. 226
    Anonymous says:

    Nicholas Winterton pompously sounding off (right now) in the House of Commons, complaining about a local demo which held him up from a meeting for 1 hour and 10 minutes. He’s asking Gorbals Mick to ensure “unimpeded access” to go about his business. How about unimpeded access to the claims made by him and his wife? When you update the sleazeometer as further info emerges, Guido, this pair will surely be shooting to the top of the list. Double hoons, double dipping.

  227. 227
    eye-eye says:

    Harriet has shoulder pads on wider than an American Footballer

  228. 228
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    Michael Martin is a total fucking disgrace. HE is the real problem. A fucking jock twat and a thick one at that. Yes, clal in the Police, but to investigate the fucking corruption of MPs you fucking jock HuntE.

    Piss off back to fucking Scotland Martin and take that fucking one eyed twat with you.

    Jesus I’m fucking angry.

  229. 229
    Hugh Janus says:

    Gorbals is a complete cretin and an utter disgrace to his office. Like the rest of NuLiebour, he cheapens everything he touches.

  230. 230
    JesmondJim says:

    This list is sizeist. Blears should be top because she’s a thick,incompetent,useless,lying arse-licker not because she’s a ginger midget.

  231. 231
    Chairman of Ways and Means says:


    I, Alan Haselhurst, Chairman of Ways and Means of the House of Commons and as such am Deputy Speaker.

    You will find no dirt on me.

    I have repeatedly warned Speaker Gorbals Martin that Parliamentaruy expenses have been out of hand and illegalm for years.

    I hereby give notice that when I next preside the House of Commons I will allow an early day motion for the removal of Speaker Al Capone Martin and the Clerk of the House….and I will refuse to give way to the Speaker until he is removed…that is my constituional right under the Rules of the House…If necessary I will seek an audience with the Queen to seek an early election…

    They have clearly brought this formerly great House into total disrepute..


  232. 232
    Geordie Girl says:

    Cosmetic surgery????? You mean she actually chose to look like that?

  233. 233
    lololol says:

    Some ginger haired witch is telling the Nucons to calm down.

  234. 234
    Anonymous says:

    Gorbals Mick is Waaaaaaaay out of his depth already, and now he is trying to facilitate some meeting/committee/convention to sort it out, when he has caused most of the mess…

    A bit like Gordon ‘I got us into this mess, so I know best how to get us out of it’ Brown..

  235. 235
    Flipper says:

    wimmin, wimmin, wimmin, childcare, wimmin, men (ugh!), wimmin, wimmin, wimmin…

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    Celtic fringe well represented

  237. 237
    Anonymous says:

    They’ll do what they always do – Make a statement that “lessons have been learned” and that “we need to draw a line under the matter” and “move on”. No way! We demand repayment to the public purse of all faudulent claims. Westminster is an ablsoute cess pool.

  238. 238
    Stu says:

    Seems very unreflective of whats actually going on. If you look deeper into Goves house swap it was actually legitimat but ill timed in the present climate

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    Why no mention of London MP and generally inept politician Theresa Villiers who has claimed for £345k 2nd home?

    Totty does not excuse her troughing

  240. 240
    Engineer says:

    Not enough.

  241. 241
    Master Baiter says:

    Why do you Conservative dimwits think it’s such a big secret about allowances? At least 700 people have had first hand experience of the system, either by claiming or processing the allowances.
    The allowances are allowances for the additional costs of being an MP.
    In recent times the only breaking of rules has been by Conway and Spelman (both Conservatives) over staff salaries not additional costs allowances.
    Nice try wrong/right wing but you’ve failed.
    The electorate is getting used to your tactics. They’re stale and straight out of the loser US Republican play book of more than ten years ago, pathetic.
    It’s backfiring spectacularly.
    Contrast Labour terraced house stories with Conservative tennis court stories.
    Lord Ashcroft should ask for his money back.

  242. 242
    Pissed off voter says:

    Mr Martin has just made his statement to the House. One very pissed off Speaker. What a delight to see the little shit squirm. Blatantly rude to Baker and Hoey as well as much general ranting. He’s the very definition of inarticulate.

  243. 243
    Kitty says:

    That is a disgraceful slur and there is no truth in it whatsoever.

    Or not much.

  244. 244
    Flipper says:

    Lyn Brown going on about secrecy and gagging clauses! Oh the irony!

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    Prezza is quiet in the Press today. What’s happened? Is he still shitting himself coz everyone’s laughing at him and now hiding in Tudor Towers, Hull?

  246. 246
    lololol says:

    Harperson,employees have nothing to fear,Iam scared stiff now.

  247. 247
    Adrian prole says:

    I think this poll just asked people who spend all day with their noses in OK! magazine.

  248. 248
    Dave Figgley says:

    Sounds sensible, mate.

  249. 249
    A_Zimbo says:

    Just been watching that cnut Michael Martin on Sky news trying to distract attention from the real issue on to how scandalous it is that Dishonourable Member’s details are being sold to the DT. Just goes to show how far out of touch with the electorate these fuckers are.

    Never mind fucking Tamil Tiger Terrorists occupying the square outside the Palace of Westminster. There should be hundreds of thousands of us doing it!! When’s the demonstration?!?!

  250. 250
    Moley says:


  251. 251
    Furtive but smelly says:

    Furtively does it, inching along the gastro-urinary tracts of the bowels of the body politic.

    More turds on the way. Big fuckers.

  252. 252
    boo says:

    Fuck off Hardwank.

  253. 253
    Adrian prole says:

    Oi! Leave my family out of it. Apart from that, I agree with you.

  254. 254
    The Master says:

    Speaker Martin in a wounded vindictive beast.His statement was pathetic.Calling in the rozzers to investigate the leak! Go away you horrible man. He slapped both Hoey & Baker down and then objected to the “mob” protesting in Parliament Square saying he was getting held up in traffic and it was a health hazard!

  255. 255
    UB41 says:

    What the f*** is Harman on about? They have Womeon only shortlists these days and she has the audacity to refer to a bill about equality?

    Don’t get me wrong, everyone should have an equal chance but positive discrimination? Errr…it’s discrimination isn’t it?

  256. 256
    lololol says:

    ConservativeHome are saying tomorrow is the turn of the Conservative backbenchers to get brown kecks time,oh dear or should that be oh expensive

  257. 257
    Roberto Barolo says:

    Do the top 4 go into a Championship Play-off ..?…….. or should I say Taxpayer Rip-off?

  258. 258
    The Master says:

    Moran is not on the list!

  259. 259
    digger says:

    glad to hear it.sanctimonious bitch

  260. 260
    Anger-management Wallah says:

    Your fury leapt off the screen. Well done!

  261. 261
    Pienomics says:

    Martin is a national embarrassment,

    He can’t stand Kate Hoey because she say what we all think.

  262. 262
    Anonymous says:

    Kept it nice and simple (thanks for the email address):

    You are an absolute disgrace. I look forward to your resignation and arrest for fraud.

  263. 263
    Master Baiter says:

    In recent times the only breaking of rules has been by Conway and Spelman (both Conservatives) over staff salaries not additional costs allowances.

    They should be at the top of the list.
    The snoozometer?

  264. 264
    UB41 says:

    What the f*** is Harman on about? They have Women only shortlists these days and she has the audacity to refer to a bill about equality?

    And then she bangs on about age discrimination.

    So we’ll have an over 50’s shortlist.

    Ooops, that’s discriminatory so we’ll have an under 50’s shortlist too.

    oh dear, it appears we’re back to the original shortlist.

    Don’t get me wrong, everyone should have an equal chance but positive discrimination? Errr…it’s discrimination isn’t it?

  265. 265
    Gerry Adams says:

    Nov 5th with Old Holborn (a bit of a Hoon) and fancy dress
    Its just a walk not a demonstration

  266. 266
    Ambrose Si!k says:

    I see secondary school has finished for the day again MB?

    Shouldn’t you be doing your homework and paper round instead of posting on here about things you don’t understand?

    When you grow up, it will all become much clearer.

    Now go away and squeeze your pimples or perhaps have a wank?

  267. 267
    mitch says:

    Guido being quoted by the Beeb (ahead of Norman Baker and Trevor Kavanagh!):

  268. 268
    Desperate Dan says:

    No committee set up by Gorbals Mick will have any credibility whatsoever.
    The only bright light on the horizon is that they’ll all be in Strangeways in less than a year. The first thing Tony Blair did on gaining office was make sure Jeffrey Archer went to gaol for committing perjury and thereby enriching himself at the expense of the Daily Star.
    Labour politicians have committed much more heinous crimes, starting with the Iraq war, and deserve to be locked up for a very, very long time.

  269. 269
    Independence for Wales says:

    Guido: can you please set up a fighting fund to support a raft of independent “concerned citizens” candidates to contest the general election when it comes. Such an “independent” grouping could easily draw up a joint manifesto on the internet using people power. Such is the disgust for main parties at Westminster, I think that a new grouping like this could have real clout in a hung parliament and bring in real reform to this clapped out, sick joke state.

  270. 270
    Master Baiter says:

    Even a pimply, cabbage breath apologist for shitty old Labour like me regards Harman as something of an abomination.

  271. 271
    Havocman says:

    None of their own apparently.

  272. 272
    Anonymous says:


  273. 273
    Havocman says:

    He is if she heard him

  274. 274
    Postal Vote says:


    Perhaps another angle to explore about Brown (apart from checking the tax returns for declaring the rental income from his illegally sublet constituency office):

    In The Guardian, that high-quality paper, Brown’s sister in law writes that he was a bachelor when he made the cleaning arrangement with his brother. But Brown’s cleaning declarations date to 2004-6 whilst he married in 2000. He also wasn’t living in the place anymore, but of course he will argue that that is a non-issue, totally irrelevant.

  275. 275
    Col. M.T. Kernel (retd.) says:

    SIR- How about tomorrow at high-noon, shortly after my elevensies have settled?

    HRRUUUMPH. Incandescent with rage, sir.

    Yours, about to have a coronary, Col. M.T. Kernel (retd.)

  276. 276
    Adrian prole says:

    Are you still barred from pubs up the Dulais and Tawe valleys, due to your pistol packing body guards, or do you wander about on your own, now?

  277. 277
    Agent 99 says:

    I can’t get the poison dwarfs comments out of my mind from when I saw her on question time a few months back. She sat there all arrogant as she does and said in that whiny voice
    “do you remember when interest rates were 6 billion % and there were 3 zillion unemployed? Do you remember? well do you? Do you want the Tories back?” Wish I could find it on U tube bit I can’t. It made me angry then it makes me furious now.

    Yes I do want them back and I want you good for nothings out,tried in a court and then hung from a lampost. Well all but one that is as for you my little chipmunk a special spit roast prod is reserved and when they shove it up your arse I hope it really fucking hurts you fucking hypocritical troughing stuck up arrogant bag of labour ginger shite.

  278. 278
    Lord Hoon of Hoonington Crescent says:

    Just put it on my expenses dear boy.

  279. 279
    Flipper the Bottlenosed Dolphin says:

    Telegraph indicates much worse to come tomorrow for the Conservative Party as attention shifts from the Tory frontbench to the backbench.

  280. 280
    freddie flintoff says:

    if he comes near old trafford i twat him

  281. 281
    Sunonmars says:

    Good we need to hear it all, Cameron better get out the cane to start sacking a few.

  282. 282
    Hushberlin says:

    Aaagh! I’d thought that I was beyond shocking in relation to the expenses issue after the past few days. But this is a breath-takingly excruciating piece of self-justification which beggars belief.

    If you can bear to do it, watch right to the end when she says ‘I haven’t done anything wrong’.

    Apart from claiming many thousands of pounds for a second home which is neither in London nor in your constituency, no, you haven’t done anything wrong … Utterly disgraceful.

    Margaret Moran must surely resign or be sacked immediately. If not, she will no doubt be voted out next year.

  283. 283
    Dave Figgley says:

    He ain’t from my nation, son.

  284. 284
    Adrian prole says:

    Ask the Banwen Miner’s Hunt. They camped outside his house when he voted for the hunting ban.

  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    The Guardian, the paper that dare not spell it’s name.

  286. 286
    Keith Vaz says:

    I find this all rather despicable-I mean why I of people should be top of this list I do not know.
    I deserve better than this.I think it’s a conspiracy of the right, white wing of the party to try and do me down and I shall be taking this to the racial equality commission.
    It is my god given right as a member of of a minority group to take, (together with the Baroness Uddin) what I deserve out of this country.

  287. 287
    Master Baiter says:

    Are you trying to be provocative?
    Why are you so nasty?
    Are you a Conservative?

  288. 288
    Mr Christopher says:

    When are we going to see arrests for all this fraud? Whose side are the police on if they take no action against such blatant criminality?

  289. 289
    joe says:

    I want a refund

  290. 290
    Hoddles Waddle says:

    I could not watch all of that otherwise I would have to buy a new laptop, she is my new favorite one to hate. What a fucking thieving bitch, how dare she try to justify her fraud, what about my right to a decent family life, it would be nice if I could keep more of my salary to pay for nicer things for my family, like a fucking holiday for a start instead of paying for her fucking dry rot, I hope she fucking rots in hell the fat troughing ugly pig. I cannot believe how angry all of this is making me, every fucking day, when will one of these c*nts b

  291. 291
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Suddenly Plod has started making arrests. Any coincidence?

  292. 292
    Master Baiter says:

    Don’t give up your day job.

  293. 293
    resurgemus says:

    Some food for thought from a blogger on William Rees Mogg’s column in today’s Times re MPs

    Also, Did you know that when kicked out by the electorate they will receive a lump sum of up to £40000 and redundancy of between £32000 and £64000. This must be stopped – all this money they are pouring into their pockets – we are being taken to the cleaners by these thieves. Remove this honeypot.

    brian kelly, reading, uk

    Anyone like to do the sums ?

  294. 294
    Hoddles Waddle says:

    so angry cannot even finish my sentence. Fucking c*nts the lot of them, may they all die, I for one will exercise civil disobediance where ever I fucking can.

  295. 295
    Ted says:

    Don’t shilly-shally, 99, say what you really think. We’re grown-ups here, we can take it.

  296. 296

    Yes and local Councillors where I work have also voted themselves ‘Pensions’.

    You could not make it up.

    These people are filth.

    Chris Close

  297. 297
    Master Baiter says:

    Guidoaf Orcs,
    Everyone can agree that you have equipped yourself in this matter like the true Librarian you are committed to being.


    oops, sorry!

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    What about Jacqui?

  299. 299

    On the same side as always – the one that pays their overtime.

  300. 300
    lololol says:

    Harmon QC Solicitor MP (Wiki) trying to get an ambulance chasers bill in,sounds reasonable,jeez the courts are going to be full.

  301. 301
    Robc says:

    I reckon guido must have been knackered along with the Telegraph.

  302. 302
    Master Baiter says:

    ‘Ere, stop messin’ about!

  303. 303
    Rt Hon Peter Hain MP says:

    My pristine reputation is there for all to see, save by the very odd Guidobrainwashed anarchists.

    Further, ” leading Westminister insiders” include such eminent worthies as Sir Michael Shite , Andrew Porter, Damian 666 and Dolly Draper , all of whom have declared me faultless beyond belief.

    I am happy for my constituents.

  304. 304
    Anonymous says:

    And Margaret Moran? And Harperson?

  305. 305
    Pee here says:

    But when are the Balls getting done?

  306. 306
    George Osborne says:

    ‘Ere, stopp messin’ about!!! !

  307. 307
    Adrian Prole says:

    No. They made a balls of it.

  308. 308
    Solid says:

    I find that unbelievable, she should be on the TOP of the bloody list! Fucking cash whore fat bitch

  309. 309
    Anonymous says:

    He’s a boring fat stupid Hunt.

  310. 310
    Tosser says:

    I asked first

  311. 311
    lololol says:

    Will they be taxed on that redundancy payment as we proles are.

  312. 312
    Catosays says:

    The question surely is what they could injunct the ‘Graph about?

    Telling the truth? Telling lies?…don’t think so.

    Then what?

    Methinks they’ll be news before too long.

  313. 313
    Postal Vote says:

    Hercule much better than Sherlock

    I hope I did not support your income before I left the UK Master Baiter, but you seem OM so I fear the worst!

  314. 314
    Adrian Prole says:

    In China, they’d be charging his wife for the bullet.

  315. 315
    Bath plugs for the many, not the few says:

    Cameron should get rid of Alan Duncan and Nick Herbert, for obvious reasons. Maude needs to go as well, and Andrew Lansley’s position doesn’t seem tenable.

    He can use this as an opportunity to get shot of the useless and embarrassing ones, and outdo Brown in showing how serious he is about cleaning up politics.

  316. 316
    Hugh Janus says:

    Alan Duncan – “I have been calling for this allowance to go for years, it is high time that it went.”

    So why use it then? Another ‘victim’ of the system, or just a grade 1 hypocrite??

  317. 317
    Anonymous says:




  318. 318
    Phil Woolas MP Inward Tourism Minister says:

    Give me a break. I want to wear my panty liners for 20 minutes.

  319. 319
    Anonymous says:

    Geoff Hoon is the biggest crook of the lot, so far, closely followed by Alistair darling, with Hazel Blears in third place.

    Blears has a higher profile becasue Downiing St and their stooges in the media are keen to make her the scapegoat.

  320. 320
    Peter Grimes says:

    Yeah but it’s ZaNuLieBor discrimination so it isn’t, if you get what I mean!

  321. 321
    Catosays says:

    She comes from Barcelona, you know.

  322. 322
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking Hunts, seriously, fucking C U N T S.

    Honestly I do wonder whether we should celebrate this Nov 5th as mr Fawkes originally intended.

    Oh, maybe i’ll get arrested for promoting terrorism now, perhaps in that case might I kindly suggest some sort of mass suicide in parliament?

  323. 323
    Peter Hain MP says:

    I am honest. It’s official.

  324. 324
    Anonymous says:

    Where are Jacqui Smith and Margaret Moran on that list? Two of the biggest thieves are missing.

  325. 325
    Centre Parting says:

    The deaf get signing – why no subtitles for the majority of us who can’t understand a fucking word the inarticulate Gorbals is on about, even though I am a long time student of Rab.C, I can still only pick out the odd word.

    Can someone tell him, in his own language, that he got caught ages ago, so should not be presiding over these matters anyway?

  326. 326
    Adrian Prole says:

    “I am happy for my constituents.”

    Your constituents aren’t very happy with you, though. Anyway, do you venture out on your own these days?

  327. 327
    Anonymous says:

    Balls and Cooper are keeping out of it so far. His connections with the Telegraph are serving him well.

  328. 328
    Fill Cotton-Woolarse says:

    Yes ??

  329. 329
    Postal Vote says:

    And just to make you grab another pint: Martin’s son is an MSP!

  330. 330
    Hoddles Waddle says:

    oh thank you, I have just released a lot of my pent up anger, I do hope plod come calling (quite possible after the things I have just called her).

  331. 331
    Catosays says:

    You’re not alone.

  332. 332
    yarnesfromhorsham says:

    Blears photo- in todays Times – has she had a face lift or is that her normal smile?

  333. 333
    Grandmaster Baiter says:

    Please ask the Gurkhas who they think the nasty party is. Ask the Iraqis who they think the nasty party is.Better still get yourself off to Helmand Province and ask the Taleban who they think the nasty party is.

    Bon voyage.

  334. 334
    'M' says:

    Hain the Pain is working undercover for MI5 in Vietnam as ‘Agent Orange’!

  335. 335
    Postal Vote says:

    The FT captured the perilous state of the UK with its lavishly rewarded public sector already 3 and a half years ago. “Need I say more” very much applies after having read th comment below (apologies for the length but it is, unfortunately, a very good description of what is going on):

    Cosy nest of a public sector round robin
    By Jonathan Guthrie

    Published: December 22 2005 02:00 | Last updated: December 22 2005 02:00

    Dear all, I can hardly believe a year has flown by since I wrote my last round robin Christmas letter updating friends and relatives on the doings of the Smuggins family.

    Just as incredibly, it is now 10 years since Geoff’s bad knee forced him to retire, at just 55, from his job as a public sector productivity expert in Whitehall. His index-linked pension helped ease us into retirement, here at our lovely home of Wren’s Nook in Leatherhead. We both remain as fit as fiddles and Geoff enjoyed a walking tour of the Pyrenees this year with other hearty types who retired early from his department.

    Tom, our eldest, made an exciting career move this spring. He was headhunted to become deputy assistant chief executive (service delivery) of a health trust. He got a big pay rise and a super Audi! But he still dashes home every day at five on the dot to help Josh and Sophie with homework. This summer he and Rosemary splashed out on a holiday villa in Italy, where Geoff and I enjoyed a lovely break in the autumn.

    Sally, our middle child, began a job-share allowing her to spend more time with our other grandchildren. Our son-in-law Dick continues to work long hours as a human resources manager at a services company. He has a struggle attracting staff while keeping up with all the new red tape!

    To cap it all, the company shut its final salary pension scheme to managers like Dick who haven’t quite made it to senior executive level. Dick tells us working for the private sector is “a mug’s game” when he is sampling the whisky Geoff was keeping for special visitors. It’s the fault of the government for spending money on schools and hospitals, apparently.

    Harriet, the youngest of our brood, passed her finals at the University of Croydon with flying colours this summer. She obtained a good 2:2 in globalisation studies and is now looking for a job, which must be a relief to her bank manager! In November she attended a government-sponsored event about enterprise that got her buzzing with ideas of starting her own business. Geoff sat her down for a long chat. She is now hoping to join the civil service. We are very proud of her.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Joan and Geoff Smuggins

  336. 336
    Anonymous says:

    How do I know, you haven’t put a fucking link you lazy prick.

  337. 337
    Cjamesk says:

    Well said boo,

    So as said before fuck off you champagne socialist, go watch a re run of Jeremy Kyle with the rest of your parties voters

  338. 338
    Pontius Pilate says:

    Garbles Micky ” I resign”

  339. 339
    R.McGeddon says:

    Move, on,draw a line under this,learn the lessons,get on with the job…..

    Classic NooLabourspeak

  340. 340
    Peter Grimes says:

    Both but nowhere near as close as you are to being a complete and utter wanker.

    Now fuck yourself off. Please!

  341. 341
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’m still alive.

  342. 342
    Concerned citizen says:

    Is there no one Mp with the couyrage and the intelligence to call Speaker Gobals Martin’s bluff ?

    Just tell him on the floor of the House :

    Be gone with you Sir
    You have disgraced this House
    You have no right to preside our work
    You should be investigated yourself
    Along with all your crony Mps and those in the Clerk’s and Fees Office
    If you wish to expel me so be it
    I will appeal to the people of my constituency at the next Election
    which cannot be far off…
    Be gone your traitor to this House…

    And let all hell fly…

    The Speaker will probably die soon from an oversode of Scottish wine anyway..!! Hasten the day………..

  343. 343
    Gooey Blob says:

    Brown wants Blears out anyway, so he will sack her as a token gesture. Cynical and pathetic, isn’t it?

    Meanwhile, Geoff Hoon cannot be allowed to stay in office. It would not be acceptable. Frankly, the man should have gone following the Iraq war, and if Hutton had done a better job Hoon would have been relegated to the backbenches long ago.

  344. 344
    Daveyone says:

    Lock, Stock but no smoking barrels Mr. Brown?

    (Also Mr. Cameron it now appears)

    I do get weary of that old humbug “We are not guilty of any wrong doing!”
    when in every instant I have heard that is the opposite to the truth!

    Take Justice Minister Jack Straw who is too busy to pay his council tax,
    if we were too busy we would be prosecuted or too busy to pay our mortgage
    we would loose our home not our second residence. Echo’s of Blair in Hazel
    Blears as she smiles at the wrong time usually when cornered by a reporter!

    I am also reminded of the ‘Teflon President’ Reagan where no wrong doing
    ever stuck and subsequent PMs seem to have adopted the same talent. Even
    Prescott was skeptical of Gordon Brown’s ‘You Tube’ smile! rather like a villain( Shipman and Huntly come to mind)( or my ex for that matter) they know something you don’t and it isn’t good!
    None the less Mr Brown will probably emerge after the next election comming
    up smelling of roses, as the new CEO of the IMF or the like which to the layman
    will sound as hypocritical as Blair becoming peace envoy in the Middle East;
    A little like putting a pyromaniac in charge of the Fire Station!

    The answer has to be for Ministers and MPs to be given a salary that include
    a mean average allowence and they have to run their office on that and no
    further expenses, and for us to use our protest vote wisely in June!!

  345. 345

    It’s “racist” according to the gramscians, to treat the permatanned-from-birth by the same laws as those born pinkish.

  346. 346
    Indigo says:

    Is this on YouTube yet – I missed it.

  347. 347
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Pravda strikes again – headline on BBC Politics site:

    Welcome minister
    Brown gets a warm greeting from the UK’s nurses

    In a spontaneous outpouring of adulation, party cadres and representatives of workers groups welcomed Comrade Stalin… drone… blah…

    You have to read the text to see that Cameron was also there and also got a standing ovation.

  348. 348
    bergen says:

    It cannot be denied that she is insufferably smug and self-righteous.Not wise when she has three flats full of skeletons at our expense.No doubt Hoon and Darling(didn’t see that one coming)are even worse but that doesn’t mean she ought not to be hung out to dry.

  349. 349
  350. 350
    Anonymous says:

    Sack Blears. In fact, sack the lot of them, come election day. If Gordon ever grows enough spine to announce one.

  351. 351
    Concerned citizen says:

    Throw him to the Tamil Tigers…

  352. 352
    Flipper says:

    Exactly. They speak as though they are victims of this system, not the implementers and exploiters of it.

    God rot them all.

  353. 353
    Anonymous says:

    A fish rots from the head down.

    Brown is the most corrupt Prime Minister this country has ever known.

    These thieving MPs are just following his lead of lies, sleaze, smears, and corruption.

  354. 354
    Frank McGill says:

    Where is Jackboot Smith?

  355. 355
    Anonymous says:

    Labour, the party of the postal vote and the cardboard ballot box.

  356. 356
    The Right-Honourable Margaret Moran MP says:

    You fucking Tory boys make me sick. I have a fucking right to a family life, it’s my fucking human right no matter what you Tory scum might say.

  357. 357
    Anonymous says:

    Balls made a deal with the Telegraph to save his balls and his wifes.

  358. 358
    Master Baiter says:

    Are you familiar with Benjamin Britten’s private life?
    Are you fimiliar with the plot and thems of the opera Peter Grimes?

  359. 359
    Anonymous says:

    Fair enough. Keep on filling yer boots then.

  360. 360
    Catosays says:

    In the Court of Public Opinion, it is an offence for you to breathe!

  361. 361
    Anonymous says:

    You are kidding, aren’t you? At least I hope you are. If true, they’re another Kinnocks, milking the system for all their worth (literally). Neil of the Valleys banishing the whistle blower on EU fraud.

  362. 362
    James D says:

    Smith is obviously so sleazy she dosn’t even register!

  363. 363
    Cinna says:

    I don’t belive it!

    This poll/graph is obviously bollocks. Guido, why don’t you set up your own poll and let us have a say?

  364. 364
    Brown's Immoral Compass says:





    undermining the case for taxing the rest of us.

  365. 365
    Master Baiter says:

    The Gurkhas think the Conservatives are the nasty party.
    Also they have a Maoist Communist government in their own country of Nepal.

  366. 366

    Perhaps we’re wrong in thinking it’s an injunction from the balls and the speaker – it could be that they have been asked not to mention anything by the authorities so as not to jepordise a legal case against them?

  367. 367
    St George Laughs says:

    Carswell going to take a crack at Mick.

    Motion of no confidence in the Speaker
    Enough is enough.

    I’ve drafted the text of a motion for the Speaker to quit, and to be replaced by a new Speaker with a mandate to clean up the Commons. I’m consulting the Commons Table Office for advice on it.

    I’m also starting to canvass for support for it from colleagues.

    UPDATE: Table Office has just approved some text for a suitable motion.

  368. 368
    Tricky Dicky says:

    Just what I was going to say – where are Smith and McNulty on that register (plus others)?

  369. 369
    It didn't start in America - Windsor & Maidenhead says:

    In 2003 Michael Trend, then MP for Windsor & Maidenhead was found guilty of abusing the allowances system and ordered to repay £90,277. He was briefly suspended from parliament and did not stand again at the following election. Trend claimed he “believed that I could properly continue to designate London as ‘home’ for the purposes of ACA, even though, in domestic terms, Windsor had become my “main residence”.” It was not accepted. There was no doubt in the Standard’s Committee’s minds that there was no “real scope for doubt that the words “main residence” were intended to have other than their natural meaning.”

    The Committee ruled that “Mr Trend should have recognised that, by claiming Additional Costs Allowance in relation to his Windsor home, the taxpayer was meeting some of the core running costs of what was in reality his main residence. He should have realised that this was wrong. Accordingly, we agree with the Commissioner that Mr Trend was negligent and has breached the Code of Conduct by making improper use of the Additional Costs Allowance and by failing strictly to observe the administrative rules relating to the Allowance.”

    He is trend setter.

  370. 370
    Voice of the Resistance says:

    When a thief is caught in the act stealing bottles of wine in a supermarket, and they say sorry after tring to run away, do the employees let them go?

    Or call the police? After the security guard has rugby-tackled the shop lifter to the ground and smacked him or her in the nose with his elbow for a bit?

    I know which one I’ve witnessed and it isn’t the former.

    Release the expenses in full. Then arrest the MPs, those that have nothing to hide have nothing to fear. The survivors(!) can fight a by-election, or even an actual, genuine election. Something that is rarely seen these days for an obvious, but narrow-visioned reason.

  371. 371
    Anonymous says:

    Freeze all there assets lock them up and throw away the key.

    Then prosecute them for tax evasion.

    And what about all the money they make from being bribed or should I say “donations” or “consultancy” work?

    Who has made themselves rich or been promised a high paid job when they leave politics by voting for the third runway the majority of the public don’t want?

    As we have finally got to the truth we new all along away.

    Will we now see the truth we all know anyway coming out regarding the illegal war in Iraq where MP’s and a dodgy judge claimed was legal by hiding away half the evidence?

  372. 372
    VotR says:

    Easy publicity. Spin on, Brown.

  373. 373
    Master Baiter says:

    Conservative backbench MPs knees are knocking.

    But you pathetic ciphers will go all quiet and coy, of course.

    (cipher: One having no influence or value)

  374. 374
    VotR says:

    They’ve got a chart all of their own, goes into 7 figures (millions).

  375. 375
    Moley says:

    There has been no explanation as to why an empty flat needed so much cleaning.

  376. 376
    Twizzle says:

    He won’t.

  377. 377
    Master Baiter says:

    In Trend’s case he never went there and had no interest or connection with the London property. In other words it was a fiction.
    Big difference is he like many Conservatives is very thick.

  378. 378

    Blears is a fucking hypocrite.

    The end can’t come soon enough. In addition to being a dishonest tax-dodging hoon who was promoted far beyond what meagre abilities she possessed, she has the most irritating public persona of anyone save Draper and that fucking weird antique-dealing kid who appeared on “Wogan” and then went on to have a sex-change.

  379. 379
    Anonymous says:

    This Blog’s had quite some influence in the recent past.

  380. 380
    Master Baiter! says:

    In Trend’s case he never went there and had no interest or connection with the London property. In other words it was a fiction.
    Big difference is he like many Conservatives is very thick.

  381. 381
    St George Laughs says:

    Don’t forget Baroness Udders

  382. 382
    e-Petition says:


  383. 383
    The Broomstick Man says:

    I hope you’ll still visit when the Tories take over you little shit. We’ll need some entertainment.

  384. 384
    Anonymous says:

    So far about 90% of the sleaze is Labours. I doubt that will change much.

    Labour = champions of sleaze, greed, theft from the taxpayer.

  385. 385
    Barbara Follet says:

    London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down…

    six hurt, some serious in lift fall in Tower Bridge today.

    – good thing I got my money, for my safety, first, before revolting plebs in a London tourist attraction.

    Britain’s Laughing Stock plumbs new lows:

  386. 386
    Alan Duncan says:

    It’s like watching grass grow.

  387. 387
    Everybody else is to blame but me says:

    Fuck me Dolly…..haven’t you got better things to do?

  388. 388
    Master Baiter says:

    It’s certainly having no influence now and will be super coy about the Conservative backbenchers allowances ‘exposures’ in the Telegraph, especially the commenters, who are the ciphers.

  389. 389
    Jimmy says:

    Michael Martin is the worst Speaker there has ever been!

  390. 390
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Coverage on R4 PM of unhappiness with Martin’s handling of this. Looks like Carswell may get support.

  391. 391
    George Osborne - Flycatcher says:

    ‘Ere, stop messin’ about!

  392. 392
    harpoon says:

    You’re pissed.

  393. 393
    Anonymous says:

    Remember the left touting “tory sleaze” before the 97 elections? Who was fuckin who, literally then?

    Now we’re all being fucked led by that fat Hunt of a speaker. You really couldn’t make it up what that Hunt said today. I wonder how his constituents feel? He’s certainly fuckin them. Haggis compared to chateau briand, no contest. Let them fuckin eat cake.

    So far removed from reality. I don’t mind paying for a chauffeur myself next time for him, to take him to the nearest cemetary. It would be an absolute pleasure. The fat Hunt, may you rot in hell.

  394. 394
    Flipper says:


    Harpo Marx was the worst speaker there has ever been.

    Close run thing though.

  395. 395
    Simon Cowell says:

    You’ll have to do better than that. Next!

  396. 396
    John says:

    Labour is a bankrupt party, if the unions pull funding the party will fold!!!

  397. 397
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    She ‘defies’ anyone to say how can you work without your family near you? Jesus what about all the people that have to work away from home say on the rigs or at sea or abroad so that they can provide for their family? They don’t bloody well ask for special provisions!
    I’m glad her party is ‘backing her’ because they will go down with her. Troughing plastic-faced fat hog!

  398. 398
    Newbie says:

    Not instead of; as well.

  399. 399
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    What joy it would be to see him keel over in mid-sentence

  400. 400
    Trough Mixture. says:

    If I understand correctly, the last (red) sentence, is in no way conjecture…

  401. 401
    D L George says:

    Just in case anyone’s missed it.

    Kate Hoey on R4

    Interviewer: Do you think M Martin is the best man for the job?
    Kate Hoey : He seems to think He is.
    Interviewer: But do ‘you’ think He is?
    Kate Hoey : I wish we still had Betty Boothroyd.

    Well it’s not often I agree with a Labour minister these days, but, nice one Kate.

  402. 402
    Icarus says:

    so why isn’t Smith before the committee?

  403. 403
    Anonymous says:

    Really? if it has no influence then why return here? A bad poker face in writing.

  404. 404
    Ratsniffer says:

    You’ve got to admire Dolly’s mob for their sheer persistance. But it’s ok, we understand. A last bit of fun before your masters are completely and utterly ratfucked in the next general election.

  405. 405
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t contain my anger today having seen what those Hunts will get once they are voted out of office at the next election. When did they fuckin slip that lot in?

    For 12 years now all the press followed the lobby system like sheep, especially the Blair/Brown Broadcasting Corporation. THEY ALL KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON, NOT ONE WANTED TO SPILL THE BEANS FOR FEAR OF LOSING HIS OWN FUCKIN JOB.

    Then along came you know who and to a certain extent fucked them all.

    Just waiting now for the final chapter of zanu new labour. But don’t go taking any car rides on your own Guido, and check your brakes first. You know what a despicable lot they are.


  406. 406
    Anonymous says:

    Way to go Kate !!!

  407. 407
    Hugh Janus says:

    She’s a closet Conservative. It’s time she crossed the floor.

  408. 408
    henry higgins says:

    Hey Flipper, you’re not exactly known for your perfect diction are you?

  409. 409
    Nemo says:

    About time you left, Beavis is getting lonely.

  410. 410
    BobMorris says:

    No- all these types will disappear into the woodwork/back under their slimy stones. You won’t find one for love or money.

    Once the d*ckheads realise how unpopular they are.

  411. 411
    Ann Widdecombe says:

    Where’s my strap-on?

  412. 412
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m aiming to have a Maoist communist government in this country too.

  413. 413
    Anonymous says:

    Ooh this is typical torture under Labour spin. But that’s ok, as it’s ‘within the rules’ as well.

  414. 414
    Anonymous says:


  415. 415
    filipinomonkey says:

    Sky breaking news…

    This afternoon Gordon Brown announced draconian measures designed to restore the public’s faith in the Houses of Parliament. “I have this afternoon authorised at the Palace of Westminster the construction of the world’s largest naughty step and anyone found to have broken the rules in any way will face periods on said step of up to 10 minutes. Let the public be reassured that I will take whatever action I deem necessary to get re-elected.”

    Other news –

    Headless corpse found in lake. Police suspect foul play (no shit sherlock!)
    Hunt for whistleblower called off “we’re clueless” says Knacker

  416. 416
    Anonymous says:

    No, torture.

  417. 417
    optional says:

    I emailed her and Ussher to ask what they’d been up to, lover’s dry rot and artex ceilings and all.

    No answer of course.

  418. 418
    Barrington Flym-Flym phlegmslurper says:

    So good to see our dear comrade making the most of all the perks on offer. After all those years being a sheet metal worker shop steward, it’s only right that he gets what is due to him. After all, he must have fought hard for the rights of his shop floor brothers and sisters to have chaufeur driven cars, two homes, numerous tax free expenses, so now it is only fair that he be appropriately rewarded. So, tonight raise your glasses to Gorbals Mick, a man who has continued the fine traditions of noble trade unionists.

  419. 419

    Yes, it looks like they’re merely setting her up to be the ‘sacificial’ scape goat to exculpate the sins of the rest of the thieving scum.

    Which is mainly due to her having had the temerity to call Gordon an oaf for his YouTube video.

    The ‘Righteous Indignation’ of the ‘Son of the Manse’ will then fall swiftly upon her exposed neck.

  420. 420
    Ratsniffer says:

    Nice one Kate. Old Betty would have kicked some ass.

  421. 421
    NowYouKnowWhyItsOnlyUsThatCallOurselvesHonourable says:

    Dear Margaret

    While pensioners choose between heating and eating
    While our soldiers are sent to war ill equipped because of insufficient funds
    While our economy collapses around our ears due to unbelievable labour incompetence

    You choose to spend our money fixing dry rot in your love nest.

    You have betrayed everyone who voted for you and they will never forget it, right throughout your imminent post-MP days.

  422. 422
    Peter Grimes says:

    And you are so thick (ie not intelligent, this is not a comment on the pencil-like pink object you hold in your sweaty palm for most of the day), that you think we should be subjected to your laughable ‘comments’ twice, and not for the first time.

    Now fuck off and have sex with your hand again. Please!

  423. 423
    Agent 99 says:

    The trouble is the DT editor would be jailed for contempt of court not from revealing the truth.

  424. 424
    Technomist says:

    Filling her boots

  425. 425
    brown has 2 eyes says:

    MB, first off im not a Tory so fuck off with that you twat.
    Second dont puke your drivel with me not know about party politics and who started the “Lewis list”

    It seems that many MPs have taken this gravy train to the maximum output for their own greed, and own lifestyle.
    TRY TO Live the life of the tax payer & smile, spin, and lie about everything since this NEW LABOUR govt came to power, and dont think the tories are not also to blame for this shitty system.

    John smith would be rolling in his grave if he knew exactly what was going on.
    Do not try to defend the NEW Labour Stand, “they are just” oh just as bad or far worse that the Conservative selfish gits out there.

    I want piano wire strung, and politicians hung drawn and quartered for the mess we are in right now. These expences which they claim and the rest of the “purks” will get & will be firmly put back inside their own assholes coming the next general election.
    Lets see, for the electorate sake who exactly did rob us, & those that stand will be under utter scutiny, if they deny, goodbye, good riddence and hope you like the dole que, you utter wank stain on human life.

  426. 426
    Geordie Girl says:

    Kate has said on Eddie Mair show this evening that she wishes Betty Boothroyd was still speaker. Good on yer Kate.

  427. 427
    Technomist says:

    I would rather that Wormwood Scrubs did that

  428. 428
    Agent 99 says:

    airbrushing out makes a change. Normally they ‘photo shop’ them in

  429. 429
    Double Jobbing Goes On Here Too says:

    Trough Mixture. says:
    May 11, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    If I understand correctly, the last (red) sentence, is in no way conjecture…
    D L George says:
    May 11, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Just in case anyone’s missed it.

    Kate Hoey on R4

    Interviewer: Do you think M Martin is the best man for the job?
    Kate Hoey : He seems to think He is.
    Interviewer: But do ‘you’ think He is?
    Kate Hoey : I wish we still had Betty Boothroyd.

    Well it’s not often I agree with a Labour minister these days, but, nice one Kate.

  430. 430
    Revisionist says:

    Well that would sound great if this were the 18th c.

    Nowadays a simple ‘Fuck off you fat Glaswegian crook!’ would probably suffice.

  431. 431
    Commissioner of the Met says:

    But I told you Boris and Jaquie have told me to call it of….

    I will allso offer 24 hour protection to the said Whistleblower for splendidly carrying out his/her duty to his/her country…

    But keep those complaints coming to my office please..

    It all helps to chase the crooks out of office and into the old Clink…

  432. 432
    Technomist says:

    There are probably quite a lot of second passport applications that need to be processed at the moment

  433. 433
    Clarence Dock says:

    This list’s a waste of space. Where is the Margaret Moron woman?

  434. 434
    Flipper says:

    Well, he didn’t come into politics not to take us for everything he can now, did he?

    How does one go about starting a petition on No 10 site to support Carswell?

  435. 435
    Boris for PM (later) says:

    She already works with me…unpaid…!!

    Nice kid…she will be in my government when that spineless Cameron finally gets the chop chop…can’t be long now…He is missing evry chance he has….

    And I think I willbe obliged to pick up this whole mess in a couple of years time…

  436. 436
    Technomist says:

    Seen anything abuot them recently? The airbrsuhing has already taken place.

  437. 437
    Agent 99 says:

    Good question but are you asking the person on the street or the BBC? You will of course get opposite answers

  438. 438
    Miss Anna Grammar says:

    hoonderestimated = horded maisonette

  439. 439
    Agent 99 says:

    dont ever feel sorry for that smug bitch

  440. 440
    Jobs for the Girls says:

    but only if they went to the “correct”schools and have the right ideology

  441. 441
    Ben Elton says:

    They made a Coopers of it you sexist!

  442. 442
    Gorbals says:

    I’m far too important, well paid and expensed to comment.

  443. 443
    Agent 99 says:

    Brown has to get that low down to get face to face with the little troughing stump.

  444. 444
    Flipper says:

    Well Sandy and Bud seemed to understand me well enough.

    Gneeeeek! Gneeeek!

  445. 445
    Agent 99 says:

    poetic justice

  446. 446
    Trough Mixture. says:

    I demand a recount!

  447. 447
    Gorbals says:

    Exactly. Advised and protected by Gorbals, Broon and the Party Machine?

  448. 448
    Anonymous says:

    I am such a person who has to work away. Its not fun but you have to do it. My loathing for this woman is beyond measurement. Like all socialist types they are just totally out of touch with the working person while lying that they are the only ones to stand by them

  449. 449
    Bri says:

    Balls/Cooper will go straight to the top of the list when their expenses are revealed.

    What happening to them?

    Are they being suppressed?

    Does anyone on here know and can enlighten me.

    The blinky one is noticable by his silence

  450. 450
    Flipper says:

    Pravda front page (

    “Speaker angry over expenses leak”

    You couldn’t make it up!

    God forbid they should say something like:

    “Electorate furious over MP’s expenses”

  451. 451
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s Tony McNasty surely he has to be a 70?!!!

  452. 452
    Anonymous says:

    No – don’t release the expenses – let it drip, drip and drip from the D.T. Much more effective. It’s been running as headlines for the last 4 days and can continue like this for maximum effect and electorate disgust. Congratulations to the Telegraph, Guido and
    courageous people like Heather Brooke who deserve a national honour for seeking (against all odds) to protect our democracy.

  453. 453
    Geordie Girl says:

    Well I watched both speeches, and whilst it is true to say that Brown did get a warm reception, Cameron had cheers, loud applause and whistles of approval. He definitely won on the day.

  454. 454
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Don’t you mean “an oversode of Scottish whine?”

  455. 455
    A Gramscian writes says:

    No one who’s actually read and grasped Gramsci would entertain giving The Bloated Udder a shadow of a benefit of a doubt. She is corrupt and has no place in a civilised society.

  456. 456
    Anonymous says:

    My partner, who has 30 years experience in her job and a PhD, was made redundant some months ago – thank you RBS – she cannot get a job. She has been interviewed several times BUT is told constantly that other people have public service/government experience and they are being considered for work ahead of her – this is not expressed in the job spec/interview process. This is discrimination.

    What is Harman doing about this????

  457. 457
    aswinsterstale says:

    You could have written it down that our Hazel would come top. One in every year in school, always industrious and always trying to outdo everyone else. Little miss Chippy, smiling even when she’s being humiliated.

    The alert among you will have already noted my antipathy towards our Johnnie. Mock Tudor eh. Trust our John, labours token gesture to the average British working man, trust our Johnnie not to let us down.

    I always knew when it came to a bit of dodge, Keith would be on the front row. I dont know about you but I think theres a bit of an unholy alliance about that guy.

    Then theres tan to man. Of all the things I imagined him sitting on, never for a moment did I think of a fucking lawnmower.

    Clever Dave, gets his apology in before the papers hit the streets, and the old warhorse himself, Gordon, the old shire labouring up, hindered by having to drag his giant fist, to give some sort of apology, a week fucking late.

  458. 458
    Cream Puff says:

    Im very very puzzled
    No mention of Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper
    I recollect last year the pair were actually under investigation
    From the Times of June 26 2008 ‘Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper have been under formal investigation over their expenses for four months’
    A year earlier, the pair were the subject of a Channel 4 Dispatches program concerning property.
    So there has to be some sleaze to come out or are the Telegraph keeping the best till last?

  459. 459

    No mention of Margaret Moran, or is that more of a case of blatantly criminal conduct?

  460. 460
    Peter Grimes says:

    It has only taken you about 4 years to work that out, you complete fucking illiterate wanker!

    And you bothered to look it up!


  461. 461
    Hot tip-off from McBride (no e-mail please) says:

    Find out where Blears has been hiding the acorns.

  462. 462
    Dumb & Deaf Bloke says:

    Do I smell nervous pants?

  463. 463
    Sion Simon says:

    Why aren’t I on the list.

  464. 464
    who dunit says:

    you know, I agree with that.
    but I want a number 6)
    Jail time, proper stuff like us proles would get for doing the same. The marginal twats should at least get an ASBO.

  465. 465
    Soothsayer says:

    Forget about the ravens, the legend is that when the lift in Tower Bridge falls, the Government is doooooooomed.

  466. 466
    Anonymous says:

    If there are more significant tory sleaze DC will have to act in otherwise it will be claimed as all square by Zanu labour and their supporters.

  467. 467
    R.send says:

    Jacqui Smith has’nt had an entry for years. !!! Hence her husband’s porn vid’s.!

  468. 468
    barefootcontessa says:

    never mind the list, the little red squirrel is being hunted by pine martens at the moment, and pine martens eat squirrels!

  469. 469
    Dr Nuts says:

    Oh, that’s just nasty.

    This squirrel is definitely a Tree-Rat!

  470. 470
    Dr Nuts says:

    Not from the moment that the £1m donation from Bernie Eccleston came out. That should’ve been enough for the message to get through – T Bliar will say anything – but actions tell the whole story!

  471. 471
    thick as thieves says:

    it just doesn’t seem quite right to hang a ginger midget.
    mmmm…. fuck it, I’m up for it!
    get it straight on fucking youtube.
    happy days!

  472. 472
    It all started in America you bastards!!!! says:

    If she wants a space in the Cameron lifeboat of the McTwat Titanic, she should take that walk now.

  473. 473
    Dr Nuts says:

    I’m surprised the Squirrel is that low down – I thought they were good at acampering around and up slippery polls.

  474. 474
    Dr Nuts says:

    I thought he’d already made it as a twat!

    You’re going to have to do better than that.

  475. 475

    No, Cardinal – an attack on a faggot would be an attack on a faggot. “Homophobic” is a made up word to keep the PC brigade happy.

    Same with Yids and Muslims – I hate both, but “Anti-Semitic” is another made up term.

    I’m white, straight and British – fuck you and all your friends.

  476. 476
  477. 477
    Samantha says:

    The pulic perception is largely a matter of visibility I think. And some of them eg Follett are near the top because theirt claims werre outrageous rtahter than for the scale of them. There are certainly people near the bottom who shoudl be a lot higher up, esp Prescott and Blair. Moran should certainly be there, if only for her total failure to realise the scale of her wrongdoing – indeed to see she’s done wrong at all

  478. 478
    Eye Eye says:

    Gove seems far too boring to be be corrupt.

  479. 479

    What short memories people have. Where is JACQUI SMITH in all this? No mention on the Sleaze Meter. And only about 6 mentions in 476 comments. Our Right Honourable Home Secretary deserves pride of place as first to be outed.

    In 12 months, after umemployment has gone up another million, another financial crisis and the IMF has been called in to save us from the “Savoiur of the World”, this will all be a distant memory. Just in time for the General Election.

  480. 480
    Samantha says:

    Guido was taken offline completely early yesterday evening for about two hours.
    I wonder if these facts are related?
    I was worried he’d been silenced for good by a writ!

  481. 481

    I fcuking hate the pair of them. Fingers crossed.

  482. 482
    Dr Nuts says:

    Can you hang a Squirrel?

    1 I thought Red Squirrels were an endangered species…
    2 I thought Squirrels were escape artists to compable to Houdini!

  483. 483
    Samantha says:

    And Common Purpose no doubt? – both of them sinister supra-national entities.

  484. 484
    Samantha says:

    Shaun Woodword on Newsnight right now trying to defend the indefensible – on behalf of Labour.
    Ferking hoon was eleced first as a Tory and crossed the floor purely for career advancement when the Tories lost the election, then rewarded with a safe seat. Richest man in Parliament!

    God I hate these people.

  485. 485
    Aethelred says:

    @Master Baiter
    “The Gurkhas think the Conservatives are the nasty party.”

    Do they fuck, you lefty wanker.

  486. 486
    tisfedup says:

    PM Gordon christ sake.. the man has had a grace and favour houses for the last 12 years, cleaning butlering and every fucking thing else comes with it.. the home he claimed cleaning for belongs to his wife, for fuck sake why is he getting away with this blatant troughing, he is the prime minister surely the media should be coming down on him like a tonne of bricks.
    Cameron get diciplining, or face defeat.

  487. 487
    tisfedup says:

    fuck off you fucking wanker, what does it fucking matter whether it’s council housing or stately homes, the out come is exactly the same.

  488. 488
    tisfedup says:

    What’s the betting the DT will get gagged once all tory troughers are outed?

  489. 489
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Yes, high time we got our Balls out ( in every sense of the word!)

    Why is there such a deathly silence over this slimy pair?

    Could it be that they are the ones on suicide watch? Will not be at all surpriesd to find that they have both been claiming for the same things ( in error of course)

    Come on Guido…Balls out!

  490. 490
    tisfedup says:

    how the fuck DT gets reported as a tory paper is beyond me, that or the fucking tories never learn’t nothing from spell in wilderness, because it appears they’re out doing the labour shits at the moment, when is the lib dems, greens, irish, indies being outed, this drip drip better not be fixed until every little drop is out. also although the scots have their own system what happens when they come to westminster to fuck us English up what expenses do they get and who pays it, and how. grrr

  491. 491
    tisfedup says:

    sorry for my language but i am so fucking angry.

  492. 492
    Cockney wanka says:

    How many times do you twats need telling, Liverpool has had a Lib dem council since 1998, but dont let the truth spoil your rant.

  493. 493
    Cockney wanka says:

    How many times do you twats need telling, Liverpool has had a Lib dem council since 1998, but dont let the truth spoil your rant.
    Now try to remember that the next time you want someone to blame for the way you voted the last time.

  494. 494
    Sir Blogalot says:

    And what about Mandy, that shit claimed after he’d resigned !!

  495. 495
    Anonymous says:

    You really hate Hoon, don’t you?

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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