May 11th, 2009

Self Censorship at The Times

This is deliciously amusing.  Guido’s Wapping co-conspirator is laughing and asking

Why has a regular Times T2 columnist had a piece called ‘How Not To Spend It’, which was due to be published today, pulled by The Times. The reason? Might be sensitive, given MPs spending habits. The columnist?

Could it be that the columnist is Sarah Vine?  Also known as Mrs Gove…


  1. 1
    • 22
      That is the new the. says:

      That fancy well.

    • 76
      Doctor Mick says:

      Goving hoons!

    • 142
      Plato says:

      Is this Gordon’s suicide note?

      His official spokespuppet has dropped him right in it.

    • 270
      thick as thieves says:

      well, well, well; here they are, the torydalekspastics trying to take the sting out of the theft from public funds committed by the fraudster Mr Gove MP by cracking humourless asides at the top of the thread.
      you fucking whores.
      c’unts like you are not welcome here.
      fuck off to conservativefoam spastics.

      • 297

        Retarded as Fuck,

        I think most rational people (i.e. everyone except you) would prefer that it’s you that fucks off.

      • 312
        thick as thieves says:

        fuck off whore.
        I am sure if Guido did not want me to stay he would have banned me by now.
        he must think I add something to this place to allow such a vulgar juvenile delinquent as myself to hang around, eh?
        you’re just a fucking waste of space you c’unt.
        no one would care if you were not here you bore.

      • 332
        BobMorris says:

        thick as a brick is really that. what a prick- I await a contribution from him that approaches intelligence. As defined for a stupid socialist that is. must be paid for the crap he spews.

        As an american would say: you MF

      • 338
        thick as thieves says:

        never heard of you bob, you’re a nobody.
        bye bye tory troll.
        oh, but before you go, you do realise you have just exposed yourself as a whore?
        not that bright, are you bob?
        you fucking spastic, now get back in your box.

      • 363
        oldrightie says:

        Nip over to my place, TaT. I really would enjoy tearing you yet another arsehole.

      • 367
        Henry VIII says:

        T(w)AT you are to Huntishness what Gordon Brown is to politics. You are a Twat of the very highest order. Forget the Order of the Garter, you are a Hunt with a garter attached somewhere close by. You have the IQ of Willets after having his head stoved in with a brick and the social grace of John Prescott. In truth you should weighted with heavy stones, have rope tied to your feet and be used to dredge moats free of charge.

        And do I give a fuck if you know who I am? I fucking doubt it. Now do me a favour and fuck off. This isn’t just your little chalk board to scribble on.

    • 361
      oldrightie says:

      Come on guys, a moat needs dredging. Twats. Guido, please push that we activists, from all parties, are the biggest losers and most shafted in all this. Me, an Oldrightie is now seeing Dennis Skinner in a new light. Please push a post that celebrates the grass roots, whilst justfiably hanging this greedy scum.

  2. 2
    Moley says:

    Mrs Moran wants to spend more time with her family.

    Can anyone help her?

    • 16
      Violet Elizabeth says:

      I want to hear about Balls/Coopers expenses

      NOW or I’ll shcream & shcream

    • 46
      Rufus Stone says:

      Me too. And how about more on Gorbals Mick too?

      • 106
        Bishop of Glasgow says:

        I’ll fuckin dee ya, ya fuckin sassanach

      • 163
        Scorched Earth says:

        Tomorrow’s Telegraph is Tory backbenchers and apparently they are some of the most amusing claims yet.

        By all means bring on these Balls claims but did the Telegraph hint that they were some of the worst already ?
        I’m not entirely sure why people think the Balls/Cooper expenses will be so stunning otherwise ? Are they up to their neck in property wheezes ? Just curious TBH as there are an awful lot of people here who seem cast iron certain their expenses are some of the most explosive.

        Though it wouldn’t surprise me if it did turn out to be the case though as Balls always did look very shifty.

        Michael Martin MUST now resign the speakership.

        Rarely has anyone looked so hopelessly incompetent, arrogant and utterly out of touch as he did today in the Commons.

        He is an absolute disgrace.

      • 176
        Magic_2010 says:

        “Michael Martin MUST now resign the speakership.”

        Agreed. But there’s as much chance of that as a premier league footballer sawing off their legs. He’ll trough until he’s dragged kicking and screaming.

      • 186
        Unpalatable Truth says:

        Watching that Scottish peasant was cringemaking.

        He is probably one of the most stupid, hopeless, bigotted, chippy, common little peasants I have ever seen in a public office. How pathetic – he could hardly read the script – too complicated – too many words.

        Actually I think he ought to stay to remind all of us about this era. He should be put in a cage at the entrance to the Chamber as a reminder of all that is corrupt, evil, despicable.

        What a total cnut

      • 276
        John Jamieson says:

        He’s from Springburn actually.

    • 61
      a simple voter says:

      She can fuck off with her family and live happily for ever after, as long as I don’t have to pay for it.

      • 152

        She can fuck off to Tibet, and I shall have men, nutters from Parkhurst, in yeti suits, up Everest, with meat cleavers, ready to chop her tarty fucking legs orf.

      • 289
        thick as thieves says:

        er, go easy on the crack.
        hold on…… gideon, is that you, you gibbering crackhead c’unt? if so I claim my 5 rocks!

      • 354
        Brick Vader says:

        You’re a cunning little Hunt, Thicky, I’ll give you that.

        But I’ve got no time for grasses.

      • 390
        thick as thieves says:

        maybe you should find some time for some grasses or maybe some superskunk.
        at the moment you are just an uptight arsehole.
        it might help you be less of a tit.
        unless it clashes with your other medications ofcourse.

    • 93
      hotmale says:

      please send all advice to

      • 357
        John Hegley says:

        I come from Luton, which is handy because it rhymes with “futon”.

        A Hegley pome, to distract us all from the distressing spectacle of Mr Michael Martin’s nervous breakdown:

        There was a young creature from space
        Who took part in a three-legged race.
        He didn’t quite win –
        In fact he didn’t begin –
        Because he was a bag of oven-ready chips.

    • 212
      Dr Nuts says:

      Some advice:

      Leave Luton – never come back…

      Pay back every penny troughed.

      ’tis a pity that Bedfordshire police are the most incompetent in Britain! Guess that’s why she thought she could do what she did and get away with it… and brass neck the answer.

    • 216
      Anonymous says:

      Has she thought of giving up being an MP? Hahahaha – see any flying pigs?

  3. 3
    Boris for PM says:

    Gove has a Mrs ??

    He looks odd..I thought he had loose wrists like so many of them…or perhaps she is “cover”…

    • 11
      Subversive Barber says:

      Mr. Gove always has the full shampoo, snip and shave. He keeps his beard trim as well.

      • 27
        Your friend Boris says:

        You are even more subversive than I am…

        Silly me…

      • 49
        Subversive Barber says:

        …. as subversive, sir, but nowhere near as prolific. Good work. Something for the weekend, sir?

      • 328
        thick as thieves says:

        you c’unts are on acid, right?
        I fucking hope so because if you are not then you are just fucking retards.
        where the fuck do you spastics come from?
        do you think this is a gay chat up site or some fucking radio 4 comedy programme?
        Jesus wept, please fuck off.
        Lord give me strength.

    • 62
      a simple voter says:


      • 83
        Dunkin Dick says:

        Very strange lips

      • 84
        FT Correspondent says:

        Thought so….so the Mrs is available..?

        Must look into this…

      • 157
        Unsworth says:

        Good Bi?

      • 168
        a simple voter says:

        bi bi

      • 335
        thick as thieves says:

        oh, more spastics.
        hmmmm….. so tory HQ have decided to fuck with Guido’s blog by stuffing it full of trolls posting garbage to avoid the discussion of theft of public funds by tory MPs.
        you have been caught out.
        now fuck off.

    • 385
      micha987 says:

      TaT – you know what they say about people who use ‘fuck’ as pretty much their only adjective don’t you?

      Not only does it make your postings dull and boring and somewhat irritating, but it makes you look uneducated and sadly lacking in any opinions worth spouting.

      I don’t think you’ve ever posted anything worth reading, why? Is it because calling people retards and spastics is the limit of your abilities?

      Such a waste of time.

  4. 4
    Mel says:

    Michael hasn’t done anything outside the rules at least, or tried to – unlike some other MPs.

    And he genuinely moved his second home for family reasons:

    • 6
      It didn't start in America - Windsor & Maidenhead says:

      They all say that.

    • 8
      Anonymous says:

      That’s what they all say.

    • 28
      Speaker Martin says:

      Heard anything else ?

    • 66
      a simple voter says:

      he can pay for shit like that himself – the rest of us have to. What an arsehole – upper class twit.

      • 89
        Trough Mixture. says:

        Oaten! Are you undercover?

      • 342
        thick as thieves says:

        trough mixture,
        if you continue to abuse Guido’s hospitality by blogabusting you will be prescribed a fuck off tablet and you will be banned.
        do you understand?

      • 384
        Trough Mixture. says:

        My apologies, I’m afraid I don’t. I know of ‘bogabusting’, a Prescottian inconvenience which is dealt with elsewhere upon this most excellent of weblogs.

        Pip Pip.

    • 69
      a simple voter says:

      and by the way, fuck off

      • 370
        Henry VIII says:

        Are you Guido’s evil twin or something? Do you get to decide who gets banned? No I thought not so fuck off and clean the gene pool.

    • 78
      Doctor Mick says:

      Is that you Sarah? Shouldn’t you be packing for the move?

    • 258
      Susie says:

      No I think you are right.

      One move, one new set of furniture, no house sales. Therefore within the rules and in the spirit of the rules.

  5. 5
    insert-coin-here says:

    You could not make it up.

    Well actually you could but nobody would believe it….

    Oh and Guido get behind Douglas Carswell

    because in this time when hard working families are suffering from the global recession,its the right thing to do.

  6. 7
    Carswell says:

    Nice one Guido…

    So you have co-cospirators in the right sort of places…

    He/she can tell you when the D Notices start flying…

    and BTW

    Any news on Ballslseses injunctions ??

    We need to know..There must be a co-conspirator in the High Court somewhere…

    A nice bit of Totty to improve the day ?!

  7. 10
    Technomist says:

    Will you be publishing the pulled piece, Guido?

    • 13
      Baroness Uddin says:

      Pull the udder one.

      • 29
        Woolas says:


      • 39
        Udderly 'orrible says:

        Catch her before she absconds to her Bangla beach house

      • 53
        Prezza says:

        oi..You be a f’cking racist and Muzzlim hater…

        You had better take a visit to Luton or one of my strongholds…

        That Talibani have nothing on us…we excise all the girls ya know…and keep them at home illiterate…

        That’s why they vote NUZANU Labour don’t you understand ??

      • 85
        Trough Mixture. says:

        What big teat you have Baroness…

      • 267
        The President of Bangladesh says:

        I beg of you not to send The Duchess of Pulldaudderone here, we have more than enough problems with our annual floods, corruption and crippling poverty.

    • 314
      r timney says:

      i’ve just pulled my piece, anyone got a tissue ?

  8. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Flippin eck yor right.

  9. 15
    bustop says:

    Posted this on here yesterday

    This article in the Times appears under the heading “In quotes: MPs come forward to condemn claims” but with the exceptiion of Kate Hoey all that is condemned is the system. The headline is patently misleading and the Times is taking a very gentle stance in all of this generally – can someone tell me why?

    Got a few comments about the admirable Kate Hoey but my real question is why was the Times so disingenuous with it’s headline – read it and you will see the claims are not condemned. This follows a very pro MP leader on Friday. I poined this out and asked them but neeedless to say my comment/question was not published

  10. 18
    Heads on poles says:

    Gorbals Mick has gone mad.
    Just heard him – almost quivering with anger that some MPs have been critical of others four troughing it in public.

    Now playing on R4!

    • 56
      You Couldn't Make It Up says:

      He was in a position to stop the abuse of the expenses system, instead of which he overtly encouraged it. A deputation of senior MPs MUST demand that he resigns – he has done nothing but bring the house into disrepute and is shaming his office.

      That;’s what’s come of a rabble of immature NuLab types putting him forward in ’97 and forcing an election for Speaker (agaisnt all custom and practice) just to put two fingers up to the Tories, whose turn it was to take the Chair. And still they won;t get rid of him -uUtterly disgraceful, then and now. He’s the most partisan Speaker for centuries

    • 64
      You Couldn't Make It Up says:

      He was in a position to stop the abuse of the expenses system, instead of which he overtly encouraged it. A deputation of senior MPs MUST demand that he resigns – he has done nothing but bring the house into disrepute and is shaming his office.

      That’s what’s come of a rabble of immature NuLab types putting him forward in ’97 and forcing an election for Speaker (agaisnt all custom and practice) just to put two fingers up to the Tories, whose turn it was to take the Chair. And still they won;t get rid of him -uUtterly disgraceful, then and now. He’s the most partisan Speaker for centuries

      • 92
        Great Granddad says:

        Back when I was a boy, Confucius, he say, “Speaker with fingers in pudding,
        not vote for abolition of plums”.

    • 119
      Anonymous says:

      The ignorant fool must be the thickest and most corrupt MP ever elected to Parliament. If there was any justice he’d suffer the same fate as Oliver Cromwell

      • 278
        Roundhead says:

        That would be; rule the country for a number of years with near-dictatorship powers and die of natural causes.

        Unless you mean the posthumous indignities inflicted on Cromwell’s head, being hung to decay outside of Parliament as a warning, only to eventually end up being buried at a Cambridge college.

        The first might be a good option, but I doubt whether Mr Martin ever had the ability to get into Cambridge. And I don’t mean to suggest that’s all that special.

      • 292
        Anonymous says:

        Mr Cromwell was treated abysmally considering the good he did. The fate of Charles the First would be the justice to which you allude.

      • 369
        fanny by gaslight says:

        At least Cromwell only flogged the crown jewels, so he could spend the money on worthwhile causes such as massacring the Irish for possessing shillelaghs of mass destruction. Worth a bit less than McBroons bullion sell off, I would think.

    • 286
      John Jamieson says:

      I’ve already pointed out that he is from Springburn!

  11. 20
    Scallywag says:

    It all started in 10 Downing Street.

    drip….. drip….. drip….. drip….. drip….. drip….. drip….. drip….. drip…..

    • 30
      Worried Citizen says:

      Drowning Street please…

      Have to send the Westminster Fire Brigade soon…

      They only answer calls once a year – Speaker Martin shop steward rules ya know…

    • 63
      Gordon Broonbottom says:

      Who told you about my arse problem? Have you seen the proce of butt plugs? Bugger … time for a quick dump before meeting some poor people.

      • 117
        Mystic Smeg says:

        Being neither scientist nor quack, but a well-respected fortune teller, I thought I’d get my balls out, give them a quick polish and see what the future holds for me.
        Fuck it, I see I missed out on The Eurobillion jackpot by five numbers – oh, that’s old news. These globes are crap. Interestingly though, I see much death, both political and physical, in the near to middle future.
        Rubbing hard as I dare without dropping them, I see two two private jets, publicly paid for, having a coming-together in the air-space over Harare, where Mr. Bob Mugabe is awaiting the arrival of Mr. Bambi Blair and Mr. Gordon (my crystal ball ain’t worth polishing) Brown for a summit on how to further the destruction of hard fought-for wealth and thus save the people from their own miserable and misguided sense of freedom.
        These three giants of modern politics die a painful death in this freak accident. All that is left is a pillar-box smile which some high-spirited back-packer attempts to post a card in before the authorities point out that they are the remains of one Cherie Booth.
        My balls are fading fast but I feel somewhat happier now. I really only came here to see how much Uncle Squiffy leaves me in his will.

      • 145
        Oaten and Mandy says:

        Can we help?

      • 371
        fanny by gaslight says:

        Borrow some buttplugs off Woolarse – and a nappy in case they don’t work.

    • 107
      eye-eye says:

      cant you claim for that dripping tap. it’s been going on too long

      • 327
        Vogon Pantrymaid says:

        That’s not a tap dripping. The drip drip of a syph … (cont’d p. 94)

  12. 21
    Moley says:

    Injunctions will not help.

    No MP will be a credible candidate in the next election unless they have published their expenses in full and are clean.

    Even if they have succeeded in backstabbing their way to the Party Leadership, the mantra still applies; “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.”

    The public will draw its own conclusions if any information is missing from the revelations.

    The day of reckoning might be delayed, but it is surely coming.

    • 33
      Engineer says:

      (Rubs hands.) Ooooohhhh yes!

    • 36
      Prezza says:

      Have to let it all hang out to ‘av any street cred you know…

      And I know what I am talking about…

      PS Not standing at the next elec’shon…Gordo has promised me a PEERAGE ya’ know…before Guido blows the fucking place up…

    • 148
      Moley says:

      The point is that an MP who is using injunctions to keep his or her expenses out of the public domain is obviously concealing something infinitely worse than has been revealed so far.

      That not only rules them out as a General election candidate, it rules them out of a leadership election as well.

      Everybody else has been outed. No MP will vote for a leader who has concealed his or her expenses.

      • 281
        Johnny says says:

        Michael Martin attempted to conceal the lot. That should rule him out of his pension, the lump sum payoff and he should be made to repay all that he has merrily grubbed.

      • 381
        Dr Nuts says:

        The pension pot should be used to pay the ‘expenses troughed’.

  13. 23
    Heads on poles says:

    Gorbals Mick has gone mad.
    Just heard him – almost quivering with anger that some MPs have been critical of others four troughing it in public.

    • 58
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Be fair, a couple of the words had 3 syllables and he was not able to move his finger along the line.
      I notice renewed interest by the BEEB now that there are a few Tories to throw stones at. Intact you have to read the article carefully to learn of Labour involvement.

    • 105
      Trough Mixture. says:

      Perhaps there’ll be an arrest…

      • 147
        Oaten and Mandy says:

        Is Gorbals actually able to read? It doesn’t appear so.

      • 154
        Rolex_Pride says:

        arrest of a Tory probably…

      • 228
        Dr Nuts says:

        Doesn’t matter – the first is the precedent that allows the remainder to be fingered.

        Interestingly enough – this gov. put an end to the statute Death Sentence – for Treason and Terrorism. Strangely enough – two charges that could be applied to this government!

    • 291
      John Jamieson says:


  14. 24
    caesars wife says:

    i know how mrs gove sorry Sarah Vine must feel , i have posts pulled often too.

    interesting youve caught Alan Duncan out, not a good day for telling further lies really .

    i thought it would come to blows on DP as hefty lefty John Mann started on stupid parlimentary procedures line, shame John didnt make more headway in turning his own comrades from the dark side of expenses , clearly they dont listen to him.

    mr speaker makes an effminate call for leaks being serious , if only he had spoken out about press briefings on policy before comming to the house .

    apparrently the nurses conference were impressed with gordons speech today , “the shows as good as you tube vid ” said one ward sister , oxygen had to be administered , as some nurses had collapsed on the floor with laughter , they particulary like the one “ere did you hear the one about the poly clinic that saved money and improved care , eh honest ive not got any shares “

  15. 25
    The Baronessleaze says:

    A real problem with investigative journalism in the UK, is that many of those that need investigation have partners/family who are journalists, or are in broadcasting, PR and other spin organisations.

    • 40
      Prezza says:

      You fink that’s a coincidence…All the Press do is to shag with those tossing MPs…I know all about it..tried them all out myself when I was Vice Deputy Chief Bottle Washer ya know…and I only got caught once…!!

      • 155
        Tayceee says:

        Oooooh, but when your chipolata exploded, Johno. You should have seen your face.

  16. 31
    Gorbals Mick says:

    Ah’d like tae know why a Fenian bastard lik mahself wasn’t at the top of the spendin league?

    As ex TUC etc, ah deserve all thats comin my way to keep me in the lifestyle ah have become accustomed tae! burp!!!

  17. 32
    Mr Ned says:

    This self-destruction of all the mainstream political parties is music to my ears…

    Now all we need is for the disgusted and pissed off people of this country to finally realise that THEY are the majority now.

    If you are pissed off with all of the above (mainstream parties) and cannot bring yourself to support the racist BNP, or the in-fighting and innefectual UKIP or the communist greens (who are still supporting the ludicrous and disproven lie that is AGW), then YOU are in the majority. YOU have all the political power in the UK now.

    Instead of protesting and getting more of the same old corrupt politicians representing their greed, incompetence and corruption at the next election, YOU can vote FOR real change, revolutionary change in voting for a local independent candidate who will represent YOU and YOUR interests in Parliament. Who will support the UK and put OUR interests before selling out even more to an unelected dictatorship in Brussels. A candidate that will put law and order above petty revenue collection, political correctness, health and safety, terrorists rights and box ticking.

    A candidate that supports a return to education and respect being taught in our schools instead of indoctrination and lies.

    A candidate that will support treating patients in the health service instead of spending billions on greedy-self serving- self replicating middle management and pen pushing.

    A candidate that will support British manufacturing and industry and technology and create export led growth based on sound real money of actual value, instead of the fake money debt based stagflation style “growth.”

    A candidate who will value and support our Military, instead of abusing them, wrapping them up in politically correct bullshit and using them as the personal mercinaries of their political party to suck up to an extremist in the USA.

    We need local independents who have not been corrupted or bought by the corrupt establishment.

    We need independents who can put our country back together!

  18. 34
    Tony Blair says:

    This is not even in the top 50 yet !!
    Lets exercise our democratic right and vote to get rid if these shitheads

  19. 43
    Pienomics says:

    Come on Guido. Let’s have the facts on Balls n’ Cooper.

    As they say in Nu Lab circles: “You know it’s the right thing to do”.

  20. 45
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Speaker Martin has some chutzpah:

    “Let me put this to you and to every Hon Member in this House – is it the case that an employee of this House should be able to hand over any private data to any organisation of his or her choosing?”

    Now let me turn that around:

    Let me put this to you Mr Speaker and to every Member of the Labour government – is it the case that an employee of this government should be able to hand over any private data to any organisation of his or her choosing?

    • 77
      lololol says:

      Remind me who let plod turnover a NuCon mps office and remove wasna me it happened in America

  21. 50
    You Couldn't Make It Up says:

    The Goves’s pair of elephant lamps are gorgeous, I saw them on telly – I wish I could afford them. I’m on a pension and have to keep selling family stuff to keep the car on the road. Still it’s a comfort to know our taxes are going on such tasteful stuff as Samantha’s mum’s and not on tat form IKEA innit?

    • 103
      Expat says:


      Can’t believe it….

      Tory MP and Times writer wife can’t even afford to but their own ELEPHANT LAMPS ?

      They really are cheap little buggers..

      But they would go well in Prezza’s Tudor Palace no ?

    • 319
      Dack Blog says:

      I’m going to hell.

  22. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Corrupt Gorbals Mick just does not get it.The more they fight the worse it will get for them.Carry on Mick – you are entitled to steal from the British Public. You are the new elite and you will be in power for evermore.Keep troughing – you are untouchable.

    • 60
      Commissioner of the Met says:

      We will have feed his balls to the Tamil Tigers (excuse the expression) …dont’ worry…

      Boris and I are organising things…

  23. 52

    Ah shredded all ma expenses last year, ya ken. I’m nae stupid.

  24. 54
    Pienomics says:

    Just an aside. What a coincidence that the McBroons brother is a PR guy and his sis in law is a journo.

    • 67
      FT Correspondent says:

      His brothers works for EDF…………and you know who is moving into the UK with NUCLEAR…….EDF !!!

    • 287
      Johnny says says:

      His brother worked for the BBC too. And ITN.

  25. 55
    Mitch says:

    Come on Guido. Let’s have the facts on Balls n’ Cooper.

  26. 57
    mv says:

    Any pics of Mrs Gove?

    Is she totty material?

  27. 68
    Delroy says:

    Michael Gove is one of the few good guys in Parliament. I’m convinced he’s honest. Shame he’s been dragged into the sleazepit by the Labourgraph.

    • 88
      Geordie Girl says:

      I agree – it doesn’t look to me that he has done anything like the manipulation with the second home rules of say Alistair Darling, Geoff Hoon and Hazel Blears.

      • 109
        Expat says:

        But why does he have to go in for f’ing elephant lamps..

        it’s the mentality that gets me…

        Cheap skints…

        troughing as well..

        Their own bloody fault if they are involved

      • 387
        Georgeous George says:

        Elephant lamps make the elephant in the room easier to see.

    • 135
      a simple working class fucker says:

      Don’t really care. They are all tarred with the same brush; he knew what was occurring, and stayed quiet. Makes him worse, really, to continue as honestly as he could.

      Demeans the job.

  28. 72
    jeffrey's boules says:

    Any paper that allows the likes of Caitlin Moran and Libby Purves to witter fruitlessly in its comments page deserves to wither on the vine.

    • 96
      Airey Belvoir says:

      I disagree. Caitlin Moran is very funny, and Libby Purves has been a fount of decent, common-sense commentary for years.

    • 101
      Airey Belvoir says:

      I don’t agree. Caitlin’s pieces usually raise a smile, and Libby has been dispensing solid common sense to the middle classes for years.

    • 137
      a simple working class fucker says:

      who the fuck are Caitlin Moran and Libby Purves?

      • 165
        Mohammed al Fayed says:

        Two soppy tarts. Mouthy with it. Both probably need a night with two sailors and a fugging donkey.

    • 187
      Jacqui's got boules says:

      To all staff,
      Anyone who types the words Caitlin Moran is very “funny” without italics on the “funny” shall be dragged from their keyboard and summarily shot. And then banned from all UK ports of entry. We don’t need their type here.
      J Smith.
      CC: McBride D, Maguire K, Trotter D.

  29. 74
    Max says:

    I like today’s banner ad, Guido; upon a brief glance it looks like a funny little picture and the words “Now She Might Lose Her Home” with a caption underneath where I can just about make out the word “Baroness” I think. Must get some new glasses.

  30. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Am I allowed to let you know about a motion of no confidence in the speaker, just ever so slightly off subject?

  31. 79
    Mitch says:

    go read polly on cif its a real hatchet job on brown. most amusing.

    • 100
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Yes, surprising. The worm has turned, and doesn’t seem even the weeniest bit embarrassed about it. She thought he was the man for the job, but that was yesterday.

      ….Gordon Brown has been tested and found in want of almost every attribute a leader needs. Squalid dealings by his poisonous inner circle were exposed to the light of day; yet at the same time he lacks a leader’s necessary political cunning. Many hoped that the end of the rivalry with Blair would see Brown cast off his myrmidons. He didn’t. In the tussle between his better and his worse selves, too often the lesser man won….

    • 150
      SideShow Bob says:

      The slam of the final nail in Snotty’s political coffin.

      Unfortunately, Polly Twaddle wants McRuin replaced by Alan Johnson!

    • 169
      Mrs Houseproud says:

      I took my bottle of Cif out of the kitchen cupboard and can’t find anything on it written by Polly Toynbee, though there is a bit about ionic surfactants which might be about Keith Vaz.

      Enlightenment, please.

  32. 81
    Send the speaker to the tower says:

    Nothing to do with this blog post, but just when I thought Michael Martins couldn’t get any worse, he today abandoned any attempt to look like an imapartial adjudicator and had a go at any MP who questioned the need to bring in the police. Is it in the public interest to have the person who leaked the expense details to the Telegraph arrested? If Michael Martins has abandoned all protocol, so should MPs, they should start criticising him for the arse hole that he is. He is the only man worse than MPs.
    Fraser Nelson puts it better than me:
    Whichever way you look at it the speaker is a disgrace.

    • 91
      Lord Naseby says:

      Defenestrate him from the Speaker’s House directly into Mother Thames…with several bottles of Scottish wine tied around his neck…he who live by the……dies by the……….he wouyld go staright down without a whimper…but be quick I think he has asked his butler for a pistol also..! Hand gun sales booming in Westminster…

    • 97
      Anonymous says:

      And he got rid of the speakers wig. The bastard.

      • 102
        Anonymous says:

        It should have been an ex Tory MP after the brilliant Betty Boothroyd but Blair ignored that and cooked up a cosy little arrangement with Martins.

      • 110
        nell says:

        Martin epitomises everything that is odious and corrupt about this government- Parliament cannot change and rebuild trust with the great British Public until this grasping “I’m here for what I can get” buffoon is gone.

      • 162
        Ewanme says:

        OMG Nell !!

        You are soooo polite , hun .

        I would of said he woz a fuckin useless , troughin , lower-class , Scotch , corrupt-as-the-day-is-long , fat fuck , ©untin disgrace , not fit-for-purpose , treachorous arsehole of a ©unt .

        I ran out of words . Wot a minger .

        E x .

      • 166
        nell says:

        Wow Ewanme your French is fascinating ! Evening by the way haven’t see you around for a while.

      • 179
        Ewanme says:

        Oh , hiya Nell x .

        I’m always here in spirit , if not in person .

        I have a couple of writers wot fill in for me wot I dictate to them from the patio .

        Excitin times , n’est pas ??

        Bestest E x .

      • 196
        nell says:

        Hope you have a bottle of wine on that patio and a butler to serve it. Oh My! You’re not the MP they are going to ‘out’ tomorrow for claiming for a butler on his/her expenses are you? Personally I think that will be Michael Martin – fits in with his chauffeur to take him to football matches doesn’t it?

      • 253
        mr trombone says:

        It’s getting more like Loose Women around here everyday day FFS.

      • 271
        Ewanme says:

        I hope it’s Mr. Martin , hun . I never liked him or respected him an I’m a fuckin good judge of character .

        Attuned E x .

    • 366
      Send the speaker to the tower says:

      Just been watching Newsnight. Kate Hoey slagged off the speaker and the detestable, populist and annoying (so called) national treasure Stephen Fry in the same sentence. Good for her!
      As we now have to turn to Stephen Fry to get his holier than thou views on everything in this country, Newsnight asked him what he thought of the expenses row. He said he thought it was a nonsense as we had all claimed for things we shouldn’t have. What? Speak for yourself you fraudulent prick. Oh, and do me a favour, get off the TV and spare us a populist statement for at least a week will you Stephen?

      • 380
        Dr Nuts says:

        Or, get the police to arrest him, for his confession!

        It just needs to start somewhere.

      • 388
        Ben Gates says:

        So where did the freemasons hide the treasure map?

        The second greatest adventure history has ever revealed will be solved.

  33. 82
    Anonymous says:

    The government’s hand is squeezing the Balls out of the press as well.

  34. 86
    Ding Dong Avon Calling says:

    GORDON Brown was red-faced again last night after his MAKE-UP tips were left in a taxi by a bungling aide.

    Looks like Guido’s “Brown is Bonkers” picture with a clown plastered in heavy make up was more accurate than we had realised.

  35. 87
    gordons cleaner says:

    michael gove is clear and clean,as is william hague and dave.

    does anybody have any cleaning jobs?

    work is a little thin at westminster at the moment.

  36. 90
    Disillusioned MP says:

    To my fellow MPS…

    That idiot Gorbals Mick is screwing everything up…

    So we must get the last batch of fraudulent claims in quick before they put some damned silly control on our thieving…

    Quickly boys troughing coming to an end…

    I think they will fire our chum the Clerk and that poofter in the Fees Office who is so accomodating…

    • 133
      646 MPs says:

      Hat tip, Disillusioned MP. We are proceeding to milk the scum for all they are worth before Theftgate takes hold on said plebs.
      Jeez, they are SLOW.
      Signed, all of us.

  37. 94
    Hoddles Waddle says:

    Just heard on ITV news that there is a rumour going around that the DT will publish that a tory backbencher claimed for….wait for it…………………a butler, if that is true then at least its a better class of fraud.

  38. 98
    • 111
      Expat says:

      Oh no….

      She’s in Tuscany and sees all the bloody Itis laughing at us perhaps ??!

    • 112
      Expat says:

      she must be on cocaine…she flips so often…

      • 195
        Snowman says:

        Bet her snow is better than the shit I have to snort.

      • 279
        Smackhead Goyange (161-555-5555) says:

        fuck man, I have ssoo much cocaine, I’m thinking of distributing it on a tax free commercial basis. I’ve heard it’s easy to do – any of you doped up fuckwits got any tips?

  39. 107
    Justice for Jane says:

    On the subject of censorship does anyone know who was behind the attempt to silence Janestheone?Some say Martin Salter,others that it was ‘three Tits’[the fellow who wanted to sue Guido last year but didn't have the balls to follow thru on his threat],…any info?

  40. 115

    An interesting twist on events regarding the forthcoming revelation of the troughing MPs’ receipts – what do you think will happen in July?

    Here’s what some people think:

  41. 116
    you there says:

    get over to polly in thr g. rag. gordon is a tosser, again.

  42. 120
    Pienomics says:


    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Sits on a wool sack what a prick

    Waddles like a duck talks like a dick
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit

    Travels by taxi paid by the proles
    Loves his wallpaper wallpaper rolls
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit

    Gorbals Mick is coming for you
    All Glasgow kiss and Irn Bru
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit

    Calls them mister calls them miss
    The right hons think he’s piss
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit

    Don’t call me Kate says Gorbals Mick
    I’m the boss and your a dick
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit
    Gorbals Mick hissy fit

  43. 121
    CITIZEN 2009 says:

    They are all pretty quick in coming forward, saying the system is wrong and should be changed…what a bunch of subhumans!

    The system is obviously wrong, but because of that, they think they can in most cases, claim our money to the limits allowed (and in quite a lot of cases exceed it grotesquely).

    It’s all very well saying sorry, but *I* am not fucking sorry about the fact we all want these dishonest c’unts to pay every proven dishonest claim for monies back to the treasury.

    Fucking thieves, ALL OF THEM, REGARDLESS!

    • 131
      nell says:

      It was clear this morning that David Cameron had instructed his MP’s that they must apologise. In stark contract Labour MP’s have just been sent an email from their PLP Office saying “It would be easy for the public to gain the impression fom the media coverage that MP’s are claiming excessively or outside the rules….which is not the case.” !!!!!!!!! What Planet are they living on ??????

      • 146
        Expat says:


        Collective death wish…happens somtimes…But it is still remarkable …..I agree…

      • 149
        CITIZEN 2009 says:

        Will we ever get a proper response from these people, Nell?


        What should we do now, Nell?

        Well, now we wait for more rhetoric, bullshit, sideswerving non-related statements, I actually hear they need North Korea to explode a Nuclear bomb (a godsend to Gordon and his twat mates, a complete f***ing disaster for the rest of us).

        Can I have my tax & contributions back, I need to leave this sh***ole now!!

      • 241
        nell says:

        No don’t do that . You need to stay and fight with the rest of us – Are you going to let them win?

      • 294
        Ewanme says:

        OMG !

        Stay an fight hun . Get a cash-in-hand job , or INSIST on cash in hand an don’t pay the scum-suckers . If you can’t rearrange your personal situation to meet these criteria then they’ve got you just where they want you – feeding the waste-machine wot has no purpose but to spend your money on nothing in particular including their lunch an their expenses an their wars blah blah yadder …

        Get outta the system , at all costs , and fight them from without x .

        Do I make myself clear ???

        E x .

      • 324
        Smackhead Goyange (161-555-5555) says:

        No, Nell, or whoever you are.

        I, if I could, with the money I have given these successive goverments over the last 40 years, would like to get it back (no less than they have given immigrants over the last same period of time..).

        If I could get some of it back, because I have paid a lot in taxes of various kinds, and N.I, which I haver never used, apart from an appendectomy when I was seven, then, and I have worked it out, could be due from the UK treasury somwher in the region of 895,000 sterling. Amazing, isn’t it. This is what I am due, no way will I get it, too many troghers on the loose.

        Still there is fun to be had.

  44. 122
    acceber says:

    When does the dirt on the lib dums come out? Can’t imagine they’re squeaky clean? I’m sure chatshow charlie must have had a direct debit with Famous Grouse and Bells on his expenses claims…

  45. 125
    Mitch says:

    “It’s all over for Brown and Labour. The abyss awaits. As long as he remains leader, there is nothing that wretched Labour candidates can plausibly say on the doorstep at next month’s European elections. They are struck dumb. Why should people vote for them? The horse manure bought on expenses is garnish for a decomposing government.”

    polly Toynbee nu lab cheerleader in chief . my poor sides….

  46. 126
    you there says:

    The labourgraph lost my 90p a day about 12 months ago. Heffer was to blame. He is a labour 5th columnist you know. A `fat git` as he is known in this house.

  47. 127
    Expat says:

    Sorry boys

    Just seen Sarah Vine on thetimesonline…

    With all due respect NOT TOTTY watch material…

    Saves Guido from getting embarassed…

    • 242
      Dick Cheese says:

      She’s a hatchet faced horror who is the going-even-more-downmarket Times’ official make-up correspondent. Her stock in trade is drivelling on about creams and other over-priced snake oils, with frequent silly, girly, swooning over Michelle O – the most influential person in history and omigod aren’t those arms just so perfect, she’s just so wonderful she makes me want to cry.

      It’s truly embarrassing stuff for a former Cantab graduate with a proper degree, but the real tragedy is that none of the products seem to work on her, and definitely have absolutely no effect on her smug faced hubby.

  48. 128
    Stephen Brown says:

    This lying shite also voted AGAINST letting the Gurkhas coming to Britain …

    Peter Hain (Neath) Labour

    Oh. Wasn’t he the one who ‘fought’ so hard to get Mugabe into power?

  49. 134
    Expat says:

    And when will Sir Michael White turn his coat like Polly Filla ?

    Any news on him ? Or Dolly ? or Macbride ? All in a cave somewhere in the West of Ireland ??!

    I think Polly will have to stay in Tuscany – she will be laughed out of any serious meeting here…

  50. 138
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Was she still paid even though the column was paid?

  51. 140

    Labour are crashing all the way to 3rd place in the elections.

    There is no recovery. Even the BBC cannot contain the critical mass of awareness that this current administration is the worst since history began.

    Watch here what happens when MPs on Labour’s benches start to panic.

    Enjoy the show!

  52. 144
    Anonymous says:

    I see Mrs Michael Gove recommended the Pennyhill Hotel and Spa to a reader in The Times. Glad to see that she had done her research properly.

  53. 150
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Peter Oborne just told it like it is on BBC, and that fucking arsewipe White has sneered at him as if he is deranged!

  54. 153
    Pissed off voter says:

    I see the HOC is choc-full of hard-working MPs again

  55. 161
    Swiss Bob says:

    For those interested, Michael Martin’s shoot the messenger speech today (YouTube): Michael Martin – Shoot the Messenger

    • 178
      Engineer says:

      Oh well, think positive. At least when Speaker Martin becomes ex-Speaker Martin he has a glittering career ahead of him as a hole-deepener. Even JCB can’t build kit that digs holes deeper that fast.

      • 302
        Susie says:

        I can see how he gets away with it…

        “Giving quotes to the Express, I mean the press… giving quotes to the Press…” you just wanna shut up and hope the geriatric meaningless howling will stop.

        Trying to follow what he’s saying is so difficult — he crashes like a dying hard disk. The irony is his title’s the Speaker!

        Labour have certainly given us a set of baselines: the worst prime minister, the worst speaker, the worst deficit, the worst… well everything really.

  56. 171
    george says:

    Guido or anyone: Why does the Telegraph now appear to be protecting speaker Martin after his outrageous outburst at Kate Hooey and others today? They run this story which makes him look like the honest broker trying to clean up the House?


    • 188
      a simple voter says:

      It probably comes under the principle of “objective opinion”, of which the Telegraph is mostly guilty of.

      The other parties point of view.

      For you as an individual to decide which, after all the available points of view you can assimilate you may have to come to a decision on the sirtuation. Or not.

      • 255
        Gurning Gorgon's Video Productions says:

        Plus the Labourgraph has lost its bottle.


      • 263
        Gurning Gorgon's Video Productions says:

        Labourgraph has lost its bottle. What about the Testicle Twins?


  57. 174
    The Baronessleaze says:

    The talk that they will get in “outside” accountants to audit the MP’s expenses is a complete joke – the big 4/the final four are running the country.

    KPMG, PwCooper, Deloittes and Ernest & Young are the problem, not the solution.

    • 183
      Risk control officer says:

      So bloody right…

      I was fired for trying to control the scandalous risks that RBS took…you may remember…and the bloody auditors sat on their arses taking tens of millions of quid in fees and signing off EVERYTHING…

      • 313
        Susie says:

        And does anyone remember the biggest global accounting firm?

        They were called Anderson. Money-laundering spivs is what they turned out to be. I $incerely doubt the others are any different.

  58. 179
    nell says:

    I’ve just read Polly Twaddle’s latest offering re: one ” orphan boy-genial postman-self made- clever but modest -has the grace and charm to match his back story – good to work with – good in public ” and on and on . Poor Alan must be so embarrassed by this peurile outpouring . Obviously she has switched her hero-worship obsession from gordon to alan.

  59. 185

    They all need to see this: The Pay It Back Campaign. We want our money back, you bastards!

  60. 189
    Mr Christopher says:

    Anyone who has watched tonight’s Dispatches programme on Channel 4, and contrasted the squalor and systematic neglect of state child care with the high life of politicians and their media enablers living it up by embezzlement from the public purse, will feel physically ill to think of the hideous mysteries of the Vine bed-chamber, where lies and greed and avarice are the first fruits of the vile couplings of media and politics.

  61. 192
    Gordon Out! But I don't want Tone back either! says:

    With friends like ******* Gove, the Tories don’t need enemies. I can’t stand Gove, always has given me the creeps.

  62. 193
    Dogger says:

    Was that really the Speaker of the House of Commons I heard on R4 news? Or was it a row breaking out in a late night fag shop frequented by mini-cab drivers, in a less-than salubrious part of Glasgow?

    It takes a lot to shock me these days, but I was genuinely shocked. How did it get to this? The coarse, ill-tempered belligerence of this ghastly, chippy screw-up beggars belief, especially when directed at the civilised and decent Kate Hoey. Someone who had spent the day doing nothing but change the incontinence pants on Nigerian dementia patients would likely have had a better attitude than Gorbals Mick. Quite unbelievable.

  63. 197
    anonemo says:

    Has anyone got a link to the full debate on the speakers statement, parliament tv is not working for some reason.

    • 203
      lololol says:

      It’s not repeated tonight and that’s from parly tv on sky which is working as they are still going on about the unequality bill

  64. 198
    resurgemus says:

    Fancy a trip down memory lane ? Here’s the Labour Manifesto 1997

    Over the five years of a Labour government:

    Education will be our number one priority, and we will increase the share of national income spent on education as we decrease it on the bills of economic and social failure

    There will be no increase in the basic or top rates of income tax

    We will provide stable economic growth with low inflation, and promote dynamic and competitive business and industry at home and abroad

    We will get 250,000 young unemployed off benefit and into work

    We will rebuild the NHS, reducing spending on administration and increasing spending on patient care

    We will be tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime, and halve the time it takes persistent juvenile offenders to come to court

    We will help build strong families and strong communities, and lay the foundations of a modern welfare state in pensions and community care

    We will safeguard our environment, and develop an integrated transport policy to fight congestion and pollution

    We will clean up politics, decentralise political power throughout the United Kingdom and put the funding of political parties on a proper and accountable basis

    We will give Britain the leadership in Europe which Britain and Europe need

    You know that things can only get better !

    • 211
      Dack Blog says:

      They were beguiled by the ilk of the elephant lamp.

    • 214
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      They forgot:

      We will fuck the economy royally
      We will line our own pockets.
      We will reward our patrons with government contracts with no audit trails.
      We will throw taxpayers money at all sections of the Public Sector with fuck all real improvements
      We will engage in illegal conflicts
      We will bend over forwards for the Americans to fuck any diplomatic influence we ever had in the World
      We will dumb down the population into submission
      We will implement Stazi policy to encourage citizens to spy on fellow citizens
      We will install more CCTV than any other country worldwide (per head of population)
      We will puport to be fiscally prudent but will print money when we are found out
      We will murder our opponents and call it suicide.

      Any more? I can think of another dozen at least

      • 262
        swindled says:

        we will wank over blue films at taxpayes expence

      • 268
        Engineer says:

        We will break up and sell off Britain’s major nuclear services and reactor design company to the Americans and the Japanese, then announce a major expansion of the nuclear power industry.

      • 340
        Pinky, or possibly Perky says:

        We will condemn your children and their children to a lifetime of poverty.

        But look on the bright side — we will invent and provide for your amusement the new parlour-game of KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF THE PREMIER when he is discovered to be a complete and utter fucking moron, a mincer and … what’s worse … SCOTCH.

      • 352
        Engineer says:

        I like that game. Can I apply my torque wrench to his nuts?

    • 226
      Hazel Blearyeyed midget twat says:

      We didn’t evem come close…

    • 235
      Mr Christopher says:

      To think that the manifesto commitments have not only turned out to be untrue, but were never intended to be true.

      How loathsome, demoralizing, and disempowering to contemplate the contempt that the manifesto writer must have had for us all! New Labour advanced its cause on a platform of lies, trampling on the trust and good faith of millions of people so that finally Gordon Brown is left alone on stage, a broken cockerel calling out mad drunken lies from the top of his dung hill, and wondering where the old magic of the Big Lie has gone.

    • 261
      Pienomics says:

      Interesting to look at this 12 years down the line and see what a load of twaddle politicians sprout. It was complete bullshit then. Nothing more than ‘marketing speak’. They’ve spun and lied for 12 long years. Things can only get better with someone else at the helm.

    • 275
      Hacked_off says:

      Liebour policy in one line:

      What ever the problem, hose it with massive amounts of tax payer’s money.

    • 389
      Eric Arthur Blair says:

      “every person there, male and female, bore the worst stigmata of sniffish middle-class superiority. If a real working man, a miner dirty from the pit, for instance, had suddenly walked into their midst, they would have been embarrassed, angry and disgusted; some, I should think, would have fled holding their noses.”

      Funny how this was written by a Blair as well.

  65. 199
    Andy Warhol says:


    So you have given Mrs Gove her 15 minutes of fame…

    Please choose some interesting Totty for us tomorrow..

    With respect


    • 229
      Mr Flint says:

      Caroline Flint? She should be given a pardon, SHE is a tottie…

      • 274
        Anonymous says:

        Only if she’ll let us all shag her. Bags i first

      • 306
        Anonymous says:

        She might have a disease, she is a socialist. So wear a condom.

      • 345
        Pinky, or possibly Pikey says:

        She’s a pikey.

        That foul ‘n’ fishy vaginal smell that precedes and follows her everywhere is a sure sign of bacterial decay. Nature’s way of telling you to avoid a case of severe cock-rot.

  66. 200
    lololol says:

    Pravda £380 for a bag of horse manure,jeez must be good stuff ,we can get as loads of it for nothing from the stables down the road.

  67. 201
    Magic_2010 says:

    Michael White: “Apart from a few token gestures, the Telegraph has pulled its punches on Conservative expenses claims”

    Dear me, what a partisan fool this man is. How does he qualify this statement without facts? His shouty mistake ridden commentry proves to be his undoing and he does get a royal kicking in his comments which is worth seeing e.g. why on earth does Gorbals Mick get off so lightly when he did his utmost to prevent people seeing this information.

    • 219
      genghiz the kahn says:


    • 227
      The Baronessleaze says:


      There is something not right with the Telegraph’s analysis of the Conservatives expenses.

      Firstly, in the Sunday Telegraph they did had a resurrection of the old Sinn Fein expenses, when we were expecting Tory expenses;

      secondly if they are under an injunction from the Tories, we will not know about it. Could it be that the Telegraph is being told what to print?? Cameron’s shadow cabinet mmmm……… something is not right……

  68. 205
    Worried citizen says:

    There is no authority left in the UK now…

    Government totally discredited..with mad Prime Minister

    Police seriously in doubt…

    Parliament in flames with mad Speaker

    Only Boris as Mayor of London with any credibility and recently elected..and HM the Queen…

    I have seen troubles in the Uk for years…

    But never a collapse of authority like this..

    Only an election can possibly restore any authority…otherwise I can see anarchy and deep trouble

  69. 209
    Max says:

    With Travelodge vouchers, a typing pool and a book of chitties for the stationery cupboard they would not need an expensive accountancy firm monitoring them.

    An admin assistant could monitor this system at a very reasonable charge. To put in place another system so complex as to require an audit is obviously just another way to carry on, cover up and blame “the system” again a few years down the line.

    They are a complete shower and ZaNuLab are running round like headless chickens; as per their Dear Leader they are making it up as they go along. Are they waiting for the review, are they reforming everything next week according to the next idea of the minute, are they actually still in any way in control of the agenda?

    McMental has presided over the complete collapse of government authority; the only way now is an early election.

    Or that swine flu thingy … might work this week, eh?

  70. 210
    Expat says:

    Just what are PMQs going to be like from now on ?

    Parliamentary mayhem ?

  71. 215
    nell says:

    I’ve just read somethng that has made me feel loads better. Tax experts are saying MP’s could be hit with large tax bills because of the way they wrote their own tax exemption clause in legislation. The clause says they are exempted from tax for ‘expenses specific to their parliamentary duties’ Anything else, apparently, is taxable and Her Majesty’s Revenues and Customs has now indicated that it will review all claims. I hope they go back ten years; that should take in the Blair’s, as well as Hoon, Blears, Vaz, Smith,Moran etc etc

    • 220
      Engineer says:

      Think they can only go back six years. Still, better than nothing!

      • 248
        nell says:

        I am told if they believe there is fraud they can go back further ? Is that true?

      • 252
        Former HMRC Senior Employee says:

        They can alter any rule if it is proved to be of criminal intent, to no limit.

        They will, if they have the inclination, prosecute tax evaders.

        Whether they will prosecute all MP’s who have been evading paying tax or CGT, remains to be seen.

        Somehow, I don’t think we’ll see it!

      • 290
        A M says:

        HMRC can go back as far as they like!!!

    • 239
      eye-eye says:

      Sad thing is we will never know. Tax info is confidentiial

      • 259
        Beautiful Day says:

        Unless it ends up in court a la Ken Dodd, wouldn’t that be luvlly jubbly.

    • 254
      The Tax Man says:

      No receipt? That’ll be 100% taxable then please. Kerching!

    • 309
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      I used to work for the Inland revenue, the revenue will only “come down hard” on ordinary people e.g the old girl with a small private pension and some earnings, or the average working John/Jill.
      These clowns get to “negotiate” how much tax they are willing to pay.

    • 348
      Dr Feelgood says:

      If they do, I predict HMRC as part of the client state will go hard after the Conservatives and go easy on Labour. Plus, I’d love to see them jet over to N Ireland and knock on Adams and McGuiness’ front doors… better pack some kevlar…

  72. 231
    It's all clean fun says:

    Breaking news

    The Police has just been called to the Bunker…

    Explosions being heard…

    And sucking sounds…

    No……just seen a fire engine…flames are coming out of the windows…and Nokias…no faces yet…

  73. 232
    lololol says:

    PoliticalBetting has a poll out

  74. 234
    FT Correspondent says:

    Just heard…

    Boris and the Commissioner of the Met meeting

    Any news Guido ?

    Time for a coup ?

  75. 236
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Member of the up to now, silent majority says:
    May 11, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Cameron should now lead by example. If he shows some balls then he can grind these sleaze ridden NewLiar control freaks into the dust.

    1. State that whilst troughing may have been in the rules it was not in the spirit of the rules and those in the Conservative party which in his opinion exceeded what was correct will either be sacked from any shadow position they hold or in the case of back benchers put up for reselection in their local constituancy.
    2.Members of the party will be asked (fucking told) to look carefully at their expense claims and re-imburse any claims that they now feel were outside the spirit of the rules.
    3.Any financial fraud (e.g.non payment of CGT on flipped homes) found will result on the member in question being asked (fucking told) to resign immediately
    All future expense claims will be published online at this will be extended to MEP’s and local councillors over the coming 12 months.

    Put the matter to bed ASAP with decisive action then get back to Politics and saving the country from any further damage NewLiars can inflict with some joined up policies on Europe, the economy, immigration, the NHS, education, transport infrastucture, the benefits system, the Police, local government and undoing this culture of control micro mangement.

    Time to stop this self-flagellation with some real leadership, let New Liars sink in their shitstorm of sleaze, distance yourself from it and push for a GE ASAP with a clean start and clear conscience.

    No-one in their right mind will vote Labour again but the groundswell is that all major parties are corrupt and in league together in this shameful charade of thievery. No matter how good the policies are you will all be tarred with this brush unless someone does “the right thing”, and fast.

    We’re watching and fucking waiting.

    • 243
      Anonymous says:

      If Dave has got any sense, you may well be right.

      • 250
        FT Correspondent says:

        Quite agree…

        But he has the time to get his act together and all he has DONE is to say sorry…sadly he’s just too bloody weak…

        I think his wife has more balls than he does frankly…

        And she’s not interested in politics !!

      • 265
        Dack Blog says:

        Nor in his balls since he turned out to be such a wuss. It all started with the cycle helmet. You just can’t feel the same way about a man once you’ve seen him in one of those.

      • 277
        Anonymous says:

        You’re back early!

    • 245
      Dack Blog says:

      Watches… waits… watches… waits… watches… waits… grows increasingly disillusioned… heads to the pub.

    • 296
      who dunit says:

      you left out the going to jail for a long time bit

  76. 244
    lofa on the sofa says:

    OT – I’ve just had my number 10 petition rejected asking the PM to thank Heather Brooke for all her work on FOI

    Your petition was classed as being in the following categories:

    * Outside the remit or powers of the Prime Minister and

    I thought Broon was part of the government that brought it in, you’d think he’d be pleased it was working so well

    • 293
      Anonymous says:

      Probabaly got Heather (bless her -should be up for a Damehood from a grateful Nation) on some hit list to shut her up.

    • 310

      I trust the Queen will make her a Baroness. Then Heather can get into the House of Lords and sort that out.

  77. 246
    Anonymous says:

    You mean somebody is actually married to him?

  78. 247
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    I wrote this earlier today at the tail end of a link, have re-read it and totally agree with myself!!! Having had an active interest in politics all my life and being a niave fucker always thought things would get better, I am now a totally disillusioned 50 something year old. 50 something but really fucking angry that we have all been subjected to being treated like Peons & cattle.
    I have always been to the right and voted Tory but unless we see some real leadership here can see myself joining or forming AGITPROP.

    “Cameron should now lead by example. If he shows some balls then he can grind these sleaze ridden NewLiar control freaks into the dust.

    1. State that whilst troughing may have been in the rules it was not in the spirit of the rules and those in the Conservative party which in his opinion exceeded what was correct will either be sacked from any shadow position they hold or in the case of back benchers put up for reselection in their local constituancy.
    2.Members of the party will be asked (fucking told) to look carefully at their expense claims and re-imburse any claims that they now feel were outside the spirit of the rules.
    3.Any financial fraud (e.g.non payment of CGT on flipped homes) found will result on the member in question being asked (fucking told) to resign immediately
    All future expense claims will be published online at this will be extended to MEP’s and local councillors over the coming 12 months.

    Put the matter to bed ASAP with decisive action then get back to Politics and saving the country from any further damage NewLiars can inflict with some joined up policies on Europe, the economy, immigration, the NHS, education, transport infrastucture, the benefits system, the Police, local government and undoing this culture of control micro mangement.

    Time to stop this self-flagellation with some real leadership, let New Liars sink in their shitstorm of sleaze, distance yourself from it and push for a GE ASAP with a clean start and clear conscience.

    No-one in their right mind will vote Labour again but the groundswell is that all major parties are corrupt and in league together in this shameful charade of thievery. No matter how good the policies are you will all be tarred with this brush unless someone does “the right thing”, and fast.

    We’re watching and fucking waiting.”

  79. 257
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Christ that must have been good, Guido posted it twice, Sorry folks

    • 272
      Apathetic (soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

      Don’t you start saying sorry!

    • 318
      Ewanme says:

      Fuck , you guys sound bored .

      Shit happens .

      E x .

      P.S. How do I stop this fuckin annoying T-Mobile vid ???

      E x .

      • 347
        Engineer says:


        Unplug computer.

        Go pub.

        No Vid. Sorted!

      • 358
        Ewanme says:

        Oh ta , Engineer , petal x .

        I’m down JJ Moons wiv a pint of Scrumptious an my loptap is still doin that Britney thingy .

        No matter ; all the ‘hard-nuts’ have got their shirts hitched up an are dancing to it .

        Peeeauugggggh .

        E x .

  80. 264
    Hacked_off says:

    I have a radical idea:

    Why not be MP for the area where you live? That would save all this ‘having another house in your constituancy’ rubbish.

    Dumping strangers on the electorate surely is an insult to them.

  81. 266
    The Baronessleaze says:

    Cameron & Brown’s apologies for expenses remind us of Homer ‘s “Marge, I swear, I never meant for you to find out!”

    • 299
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      Or the joke about the guy with the chalk tucked behind his ear. No my love I’ve been playiing darts all night, not banging some slapper (peon) ((Us)).

    • 320
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      The World has truly ended: (for couch potatoes)

      The couple’s management company Can Associates Limited said: “Peter Andre and Katie Price are separating after three-and-a-half years of marriage.

      Jeezz, a management company to manage your marriage? I must so that given the choice I’d probably plumb for Harriot.

  82. 273
    Queen Gordon's Makeup Ladee says:


  83. 282
    Gordon's cleaner says:

    Tough on grime, tough on the causes of grime.

  84. 283
    John says:

    The Shadow Cabinet’s expences were not too bad. Benedict Brogan seems to be Cameron’s mouth piece with his blogs, very complementary as if he is under orders.

    If they reveal 8 backbenchers who are happy to go, they announce they are standing down at the next election, Cameron removes the whip and all pressure is on Brown.

    Media campaign to force an election with the Conservatives are the good guys and Labour as the Nasty Party????

    • 315
      Engineer says:

      Think the public will want some front bench scalps to restore confidence. Everyone I’ve met today is really hacked off about ALL parties – they’re all tarred with the same brush, and token gestures won’t wash.

  85. 295
    Anonymous says:

    At the end of all this, will that stinking useless one-eyed incompetent Scottish Hunt still be permitted to get Sky Sports on expenses?

    • 307
      eye-eye says:

      Blind get BBC licence free…..Gordon gets his for half-price, but claims for full cost

    • 365
      fanny by gaslight says:

      Na. Next ploy will they’ll be blagging for freebies “I’m an MP, you know – you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. That’s how soap stars get free kit .

  86. 305
    mr fuckweed of twount says:

    To be honest, I’d only be interested in Gove if he was fucking a goat. Sorry.

  87. 311
    eye-eye says:

    Come to think of it. Can’t believe that at least one hasn’t claimed for TV licence

    • 325
      Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

      I seem to remember Blair did. So no doubt most of the others did. Would you want to pay the BBC twice?

  88. 321
    Prescott says:

    I made this speech in 1996:

    “They are up to their necks in sleaze. The best slogan he could think up for their conference next week is Life’s better under the Tories. Sounds to me like one of Steven Norris’s chat up lines. Can you believe that this lot is in charge? Not for long, eh? Then after 17 years of this Tory government, they have the audacity to talk about morality. Did you hear John Major on the Today programme? – calling for ethics to come back into the political debate? I’m told some Tory MPs think ethics is a county near Middlesex. It’s a bit hard to take: John Major – ethics man. The Tories have redefined unemployment they have redefined poverty. Now they want to redefine morality. For too many Tories, morality means not getting caught.Morality is measured in more than just money. It’s about right and wrong. We are a party of principle. We will earn the trust of the British people. We’ve had enough lies. Enough sleaze.”

    • 326
      Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

      Change the names, and he’s spouting much the same gobshite now.

      • 340
        Canary Wharf Rat says:

        and gurning too. That said shagging Edwina in our equivilent of the Oval Office must have been quite a blast (Q. How do you like your eggs? A.Unfertilized!)

    • 337
      mr fuckweed of twount says:

      A lot of pies have gone down the shitter since then my boys.

  89. 343
    Agent Satsuma says:

    I can’t wait for these fuckers to come door-stepping when the election comes.

    That’s if they dare.

  90. 353
    burn em says:

    Why don’t we start at new tradition, instead of burning Guy Fawkes on Bonfire at bonfire night, lets start burning dummies of the political class! They’ve been burning our money for years!

  91. 355
    Scorched Earth says:

    “Helipads” and swimming pools causing outrage with Michael Martin blustering tw@ttishly about the leak.

    Party leaders saying sorry like they “accidently” bumped into this disgusting sleaze perpetrated by those they lead by mistake.

    Exactly what will it take for it to seep into their thick skulls that this is causing unparalleled disgust for the entire Political System and all MP’s ?

  92. 364
    fanny by gaslight says:

    Just watched the BBC News. What a slick bit of rewriting history went on there. Along the lines of : The prime minister apologising, then showing Cameron apologising, then Cleggie. To a non-reader of this blog, it would seem that the Prime Minister apologised first, then the others followed suit.

    About 20 minutes later Toenails mentioned en passant that Cameron had apologised last night – but no mention that he was the first to apologise, then the mc hoons obviously read the chicken entrails and decided to steal yet another of his policies….
    Kate Hoey was talked over, and you only got to hear Doc Martin rambling a la Rab C Nesbitt – perhaps she had a good point – who (other than readers here) would ever know. The BBC is so blatant these days – surely it must be next to go.

    • 372

      “The BBC is so blatant these days – surely it must be next to go.”

      If only. They can’t be voted out. I hear their expenses and benefits are pretty good too.

    • 375
      Mr Christopher says:

      Where is the BBC “balance” now? Who broke its wings and pulls its strings?

    • 376
      fanny by gaslight's cousin from menton asylum says:

      Oh I don’t know. Incoming Tory government decide to include other left-wing “public service” channels in the pot, like Channel 4. Put some placemen in to divvy it out, then watch them compete to provide the most arselicking news coverage of the government….to increase their share…….

    • 379
      BobMorris says:

      No surprise there- just keeping up standards. What do you expect for only 12 quid a month?. Bung another few quid at your MPs “in Authority” then we might be talking.

  93. 374
    Mr Christopher says:

    Just to think that New Labour’s manifesto commitments have not only turned out to be untrue, but were never intended to be true.

    How demoralizing, and disempowering to contemplate the contempt that the manifesto writer must have had for ordinary people! New Labour advanced its cause on a platform of lies, trampling on the trust and good faith of millions of people until finally Gordon Brown is left alone on stage, a broken cockerel crowing the same mad lies from a-top his dung hill, and wondering where all the old magic of the Big Lie had gone.

Media Reader

Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
The Sun Remains Most Widely Read UK Title | Press Gazette
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads