May 1st, 2009

May Day! May Day! Labour Lunacy Meltdown

Labour MPs are in complete disarray and the Tories in the form of Alan Duncan reckon the Prime Mentalist is “treading rapidly into realms of complete and utter lunacy”.

The thing is, Labour politicians seem to agree:

  • Mandelson conceded: “It is indeed turning into a bit of a week. It never rains but it pours, it seems.”
  • David Blunkett admitted “We are on a treadmill and we have got to get off”.
  • Tony Wright, the level headed chair of the Public Administration Committee says: “It is rather a large under-statement to say that we are in a bit of a mess.”
  • Gordon Prentice said Gordon’s loony tunes YouTube video “was just too horrible to watch.”
  • Tom Harris warns: “‘Governments fall apart when discipline fails.”
  • Bob Marshall-Andrews judges matters thus “He’s had it. He’s finished. The Prime Minister is complete blown chaff… All my colleagues think so too. For the first time in my life I’ve seen them united. They are united in despair.”
  • Blunkett wants Labour to “avoid self-inflicted wounds”.

Meanwhile rumours circulate that Charles Clarke is ready to inflict some wounds by standing as a stalking horse candidate.  A summer of fun awaits…


475 Comments

  1. 1
    Doctor Mick says:

    Summer of fun?

    • 33
      Phen says:

      There is definitely a tipping point here. It’s whether the Lib/Cons want to pile on the media pressure now and force a leadership change within Labour – that’s the first question.

      Second is – will Scrotum Brown pull it together or make more embarrassing mistakes before 2010? He’s universally loathed. I still think he’s the best friend we have at the moment and if he drags the socialists down with him it will be a long time before they get up again.

      My biggest fear is a leadership challenge now and an invigorated Labour having a year to campaign.

      • 43
        The Fallen Angel says:

        A leadership challenge now would not mean a year to campaign…there’s NO way that the Labour Party could have two unelected prime ministers in the space of one parliament!

        If for instance Brown died in office or similar (permanently incapacitated by a severe stroke) then perhaps they may get away with it but not for this reason (electoral loathing of Brown!) anyway.

        If there was a new leader then they would go to the country immediately saying “this is your chance to do what you want to do…”. they would lose an election and would then set about rebuilding the Labour Party from whatever ashes remain!

      • 57
        Phen says:

        That’s a fair point

      • 80
        Anonymous says:

        there’s NO way that the Labour Party could have two unelected prime ministers in the space of one parliament!

        With a normal government I would agree but we currently have a government that allows a proven thief to not only NOT resign but actually keep her job as home secretary. And she’s just one of many examples…. I expect if they get rid of Brown they will hang on till the very last legal day before going to the people in the hope they can repair some of the damage in time. The outrage from the general public would be massive but when was the last time Labour actually listened to what the people had to say? Seriously, I can’t think of anything they have done recently that people actually wanted. Does anyone even have a SINGLE example?

      • 114
        jgm2 says:

        The fallen angel…

        Even if the pusillanimous Labour welfare-fraudsters that constitute the Labour Parliamentary Party find enough courage to save us (not them) from further Brown idiocy I think it would be stretching it to say that would mean a General Election.

        Look the 2005 Labour manifesto promised a full term from Tony Blair. It promised us a Euro referendum too. The point though is that when Brown seized power in a coup (and that’s what it was) then there should have been an election at that point. An election which Brown would in all probability have won. We could be looking at another three years of this idiocy instead of a single year.

        But Cameron gave the speech of his life and Brown bottled. History will record that if this country ever manages to recover from the Brown idiocy then that was the speech that did it.

        Because without that speech he’d have called an election (which he’d have likely won anyway). He’d have a mandate and we’d be stuck with two more unnecessary years of economic suicide and the ID card project would be so far advanced it would be unstoppable.

        But for sure. If the yellow Labour dogs for whom the parliament gig is the only time in their life they will ever again earn over 40K a year again (hyper-inflation aside) actually knife Brown as he so richly deserves they willnot be calling an election.

        And do you know, I agree with them. Why should they? If they get rid of the idiot and start to try to get to grips with the imbeciles legacy then why should we complain. I don’t want the Tories to get in just ‘cos they’re Tories. I just want some adults to start making adult decisions instead of idiots making idiot decisions.

      • 240
        Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        #113.
        Well said, Sir.
        Altough entirely possible to change leader now and refuse to go for election until june 2010, I agree he’s our best friend in place at the moment.
        I suspect, however, he may coose to resign around Jan 2010.
        Worst possible scenario methinks, the electorate will tolerate another annointed leader on the understanding that yjey will go to the country in a few monhs anyway.
        This lot keep their noses in troughs up until last possible moment and the Nu-Nu-Nu Leader distances himself with the “Look I know we,ve made mistakes in the past but I’m saying sorry now” quotes and lives off a 6 month bounce without taking any heat for any new policies that he/she may or may not implement.
        In any case, Brown has lost all authority now and it won’t return. Its May and even a new leader won’t have time for a summer 2009 election call. Nobody calls elections in Autumn or Winter. Their core vote won’t turn out and in this year in particular it would be more of a disaster than usual.
        Clegg wouldn’t work with Brown and note how well Cameron and Clegg seemed this week.
        If Brown goes in Jan 2010, Clegg could still, possibly, be kingmaker. Let’s hope it won’t be with ZanuLabour.
        It’s not over until the fat lady (Jacqui?) sings.

      • 364

        David Blunkett saw Gordon Brown on YouTube? I smell a pratt.

        http://plonquer.blogspot.com

    • 104
      Rob says:

      I say let him stew in his own juice – the longer he stays the bigger the wipeout

      • 119
        Pinochet says:

        Er….actually there’s nothing in the British (unwritten) constitution that says a PM quitting has to trigger a General election. Rahter the reverse. Some examples over the past century:
        1923: Bonar Law quit through terminal cancer. Succeeded by Baldwin NO ELECTION.
        1937: Baldwin succeeded by Chamberlain NO ELECTION
        1940: (admittedly wartime) Chamberlain succeeded by Churchill NO ELECTION
        1955: Churchill succeeded by Eden NO immediate ELECTION.
        1957: Eden succeeded by Macmillan NO ELECTION
        1963: Macmillan succeeded by Home NO immediate election.
        1976: Wilson succeeded by Callaghan NO ELECTION
        1990: Thatcher succeeded by Major: NO ELECTION.
        2007: Bliar succeeded by Bruin: NO ELECTION.
        Thus we see that PMs being replaced without an election is the norm rather than the exception. Admittedly doing it twice in one Parliament is unprecedented. But we know this Govt will do ANYTHING to stay in office. Personally, I favour a military coup.
        Gen. Dannat for dictator anyone?

      • 262
        Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        Without Ill health/death, have there been TWO annointments in (rapid) succession ?
        Do Labour tend to cull their leaders rather than let them resign or continue ?
        Have any of the previous administrations been as morally bereft and dismissive of the electorate as this one ?
        All valid points on whether another leader can run the show without a mandate.

    • 106
      Olaf says:

      I can’t understand why they can’t see what to do.

      They are going to lose the next election the only factor is by how much. It also probable that Labour will be out of contention for at least 2 terms.

      They can either stick with Brown until the last minute in which case they will be destroyed at the polls. The party will definitely be out in the wilderness for 2 maybe 4 terms, and that’s if Labour stays in one piece. They Torys will, honestly, be able to blame much of the countries ills on Labour for decades. The current government won’t be forgotten quickly.

      Or they can ditch Brown. They’ll still lose but they will have the chance to mitigate that a bit and possible keep a little dignity and maybe keep the party in one piece. They’d possibly mimic the current Tory party and have 10-15 years of restructuring.
      None of the current front benchers will ever be PM. They might as well take the chance to be leader of the opposition and be remembered for the recovery of the party.

      History repeats.

      • 130
        IRB says:

        That assumes the Labour party remains in existence. There is a lot of pull from other campaigning groups for those eager beaver types’ time and money. Can’t help but feel that some of the bigger donors might go elsewhere when the party is no longer in a position to award contracts and give out passports. The interest payments on their loans must look a bit scary.

        Perhaps Tone will give some of his squillions to them to keep them afloat. After all they did for him it’s the least he could do.

      • 143
        TheLaughingHomeSecretary says:

        Yippee! We’d then have new new labour.

      • 310
        Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        Olaf, I very much hope you are right, however for some time and way before the current economic disaster, I have been petrified at the lack of wealth creation, the massive public sector and the pensions disaster looming.
        All had to be fixed for all our sakes.
        I’ve long believed that only a Conservative government would be able to correct this, but in doing so they will be so unpopular they will be kicked straight back out at the following election.
        A vweek is a long time in politics, what’s happening right now will be no more than a distant memory come 2015. Never mind “Damian Who” it’ll be more like “Gordon Who” !
        We ARE going to see massive tax hikes together with the fetted and protected public sector workers on the street. Unite will mobilise. We’ll have kids out of school, rubbish in the streets and power cuts possibly. Sections of our society don’t feel it appropriate or right to be part of this cost cutting, and as long as we recoil from those who snap back “frontline teachers, doctors, nurses, firemen” then we can’t progress further.
        Note the NUT have a current demand for a 10% pay rise on the table. Thats an example of being out of touch and also where all the “Schools and Hospitals” taxation has gone.
        Yes – all of these professions and more need to make sacrifices in the new climate. We need them to accept just a percentage of the pain that the private sector has felt already. Face up to it.
        And so the cycle repeats itself. Labour will offer the false salvatiion once again and all progress will be in vain by 2015 I fear.

      • 352
        Anonymous says:

        302 – I don’t doubt the possibility of what you say.

        The electorate tire of governments. It’s eminently possible that a conservative government could have 2 terms of hard graft and then have the socialists come back in to empty the refilled coffers.

        That would have to be one of the long term concerns of the next government. They MUST keep things fresh for a long long time. They mustn’t descend into the farce that Labour is right now or that the Major government was at the end.

        And that is going to be a bitch.

        We need diversification in industry. We need to make things again not just conjure money out of the electronic ether.
        We need reserves and legal measure to protect those reserves from reckless governments.

        Theses are things which will not make for a popular government. Never mind trying to force the feckless to earn their keep.

        A Con government will need to be respected, but they will never be liked if they are doing their job properly.

      • 370

        The Labour party as such no longer exists, because its core support; a disgruntled working class had shrunk dramatically in numbers. It was extinguished therefore rather cleverly by Tony Blair. The new-labour party he created was much more dependent on the expanding middle classes. However following electoral oblivion just watch it tear itself to shreds, with the ‘back to basics’ faction seeking to promote a new kind of socialist utopia, while the rest try to figure out how to replace the Lib-Dems.

      • 387
        Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        #352 and #369:

        Firstly, we NEED manufacturing, something that has declined in employment around 90% since NuLabour came to power. I see Delloits or some study claimed that manufacturing can lead us out of recession. What manufacturing exactly ?
        We have had Oil and/or Financial services to generate a large part of non-investment wealth.

        Secondly, there is no working class any more.
        There are middle class (I like to term these as the same “working class” of the past). They are the expoited in Old Labour terms. They get to work long hours and create wealth and service for others. They pay the 90% of the tax directly or indirectly.
        Then there is the underclass (whether on benefits, ill, or living in a £500,000 home with no spare income). The middle class, through ther tax, assists providing a safety net for these citizens.
        The challenge is how to create wealth for all (and it ISN’T going to be by continuing to feed the bloated public sector) whilst protecting the nation’s most needy.
        Without a windfall like a new Energy source find in the UK I think we are in for a very rough ride indeed.
        Maybe, even, a Liberal/Conservative pact may help protect us from the social disquiet that lies ahead.

      • 417
        Alien8n says:

        I think we can guarantee power cuts in the near term.

        We’ve had no investment in real terms for years in power generation and a lot of the old stations are being decommissioned in the next 10 years. As a result without a massive flood of investment in power generation we will be looking at power cuts or an increase in the amount of power being bought from France.

        So either it’s “find” billions of pounds to build new power generation (not much chance) or it’s hike up electricity bills to levels never before seen to pay for the cost of importing it from France. The only remaining option after that is almost unthinkable, move to a 3 day working week and rotate industries so we conserve electricity.

        Let’s face it, the next government is going to piss off every environmentalist in the country when they announce they have to start building nuclear power plants. But I simply cannot see any other option that will produce the amount of electricity needed as quickly as it’s needed.

    • 179
      Anonymous says:

      No fun here.
      The ‘Ministry of Truth’ is damping down speculation as best they can.
      The Parliamentary sessions are the shortest since God was a lad, then the MPs are spread to the four corners of the world, making plotting over summer almost impossible.
      Then the Labour party will accumulate for the conference and a display of unity.
      The only two talking points are big but since the Labour party has been shot to pieces, the MPs expenses and the November PBR can’t do any more damage.

      • 225
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Oh, I don’t know. My bet is that there will be a whole lot of twittering going on.

      • 231
        Anonymous says:

        they are a disgrace. How can labour spend tax payers money on their campaigns and smears. Baldy byrne has just stolen money from CO for smears. Watson is using his toys to smear, grabbing officials to force them to smear.

        Its outrageous

      • 290
        Sigmund says:

        Of course the logical way for Brown to go is to resign for medical reasons. He could then nip of to Vienna for treatment

      • 312
        'kinell says:

        but McFritzl has to get through June 5th first

        ie the day after the 4/6/’09 English local and British Euro elections- not likely to be reassuring for the old madman.

        And then circa July 10nth is the publication of MP’s expenses – should keep the journalists happily occupied for a while.

    • 189
      Snotsicle says:

      “‘It was macho stuff by the boys,’ one woman minister said this week”

      That’ll be Hattie Harm-man then.

    • 199
      Scallywag says:

      More like a summer of ZaNuLab MPs screwing their expenses for all that they are worth because their chances of securing an honest income after the next election are bordering on sub-zero.

      Therefore they will hang on regardless.

      Simples!

    • 216
      Lola says:

      Or, summer of fun!. WTF. It may be ‘fun’ for the Westminster village and politicking, but meanwhile fuck all is being done to sort out the mess from McMentalist’s tenures in No 11 and No 10.

    • 268
      The Dark Gnome says:

      Whilst we merrily gloat over the thrashing body of dying NuLabour, spare a thought for what this is saying to other countries around the world.
      Like us, I suspect that they see right through Comrade Brown and his useless cabal, but what is it doing to our standing in the world?

      It’s one thing to have a joke as a government but quite another to be seen as a joke by the world at latge.

    • 349
      oldrightie says:

      It would be fun if the buggers had not screwed the country almost as much as they screw each other! I see Red Ken is now a harbinger of doom. Still a bit of fun to be had.

    • 435
      sarkozy says:

      Lets hope so. No doubt Brown will be trying to save the world from swine flu.Let’s envisage Brown,syringe in hand, as he tells the nation to bend over.It won’t hurt it’s only a little PRICK.Oh ! what a carry on.

  2. 2
    Alan Douglas says:

    We’ll keep the red rage flying here …

    Alan Douglas

  3. 3
    Doctor Mick says:

    Anyway I stopped that smug git getting in with his “First!” post.

    • 7
      Smug Git who always tries to be first says:

      OK, I’m a Hoon!

      • 58
        Dick the Prick says:

        Guido – could you do Hoon or John ‘not a single shot will be fired’ Reid caption? Just a fucking picture of the 2003 cabinet cabal or something.

        Hain’s made a tit of himself over at CiF.

        By the time this is all over at least we can tell our grandkids – I’ve never been angrier than the summer of 2009 – ‘that’s nice grandad but you stink of piss’ – cheeky fakker – takes after his mum.

  4. 4
    Sunny Jim says:

    And in the meantime, whilst these self-serving hoons are otherwise occupied, the country falls further into the mire.

    Bastards.

    • 65
      IRB says:

      Yeah, like if they devoted all their time and effort to the problem they’d be able to come up with a solution. I’m of the opinion that while they are back biting they haven’t the time or the energy to devote to any more of their brilliant and progressive ideas.

    • 147
      StrongholdBarricades says:

      Debating expenses whilst the army pulls out and hands over Basra.

      Less profile for the 179, and still no word of the amount of actual “casualties”

  5. 5
    World Statesman Gordon Brown says:

    I’m not mad…I’M PLAIN CRAZY!

    • 131
      HAB says:

      Stop calling the evil snot goblin crazy. The last thing we need is him using insanity as a defence at his trial or a means to evade his subsequent execution.

      • 304
        Sir Barrington Minge says:

        Two pencils up nose, underpants on head….wibble!!

        Sorted!!!

    • 325
      Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Blubbety-Blub

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    If Darling had the guts, he could end Brown now.

    • 116
      pp says:

      Yes.

      Darling should ‘do the decent thing’, sign the papers to get Gordon committed.

      Have him taken away and broadcast an apology to the nation for not acting earlier.

    • 329
      Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Ah… the Darling Guts of May.

  7. 8
    TheLaughingHomeSecretary says:

    Big problem if Fungus stands. To whom are we referring with the moniker “Bogeyman” – the one who eats them or is one?

  8. 9
    Political Noob says:

    I don’t think any of them have the guts, Brown will hang on till the last moment.

    • 337
      Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Well, suspect he’ll hang on until Charlie, Damian & Tom tell him to go.

      Remember, together with Sarah, who has always been “on side” with The Party, they are holding all the “Whiff of Lavender” details that will be released to the pack should he decide not to co-operate.

      He’s made a pact with the 666 team and they own the place where his sole is meant to be.

      • 400
        I'm the Sole Man says:

        “they own the place where his sole is meant to be”

        You mean his shoes?

  9. 10
    Cassius says:

    A Letter to Charles Clarke

    Gordon Brown and his people do not, cannot, understand the contempt in which they are held by the public at large. They rail at the criticism directed at them on the internet as if it were unrepresentative or unfair. At the extreme, they allude to some invisible right wing hand as if control were the pre-requisite of free speech. As sure as day follows night, each carefully planned fight-back fails – from the grotesque parody of independence that was LabourList to the ridiculous YouTube broadcast on expenses. And with each failure, we see and sense the familiar attempts to spin, to take credit, to salami slice and to evade responsibility.

    • 75
      Dick the Prick says:

      I think they’ve missed the fact that Tories don’t hate Labour – never have done. Pity them – sure, avoid them – hopefully, listen to them – if no escape route, argue with them – game on, beat them – hope so, but hate them – that’s just unsporting.

      If you look for imaginery enemies I dare say you’ll find them.

    • 99
      Isis says:

      I could not have put it better myself. You even did that without swearing.

    • 236
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      I daresay it’s posted elsewhere but here’s Brown arguing that black is white. I don’t know whether he’s in denial has just decided to brazen it out and pretend all’s OK. The U Tube dance of the fairy is also there for comparison. The media holding Brown to account like this would was unthinkable a few days ago, that’s a measure of the slide.

      Take your pick: headcase or deluded chancer ?

      Words mean what I want them to mean

      • 257
        Plato says:

        Deluded headcase me thinks :shock:

      • 342
        Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        Yes – things have changed quite a lot from the media since McBride spilt Guido’s pint.
        That was, somewhat bizarrely, the moment the NuLabour death knell sounded.
        The exact moment if you think about it.
        All hail Guido.

    • 418
      Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

      #10 Cassius

      I admire your letter to Clarke and agree with its sentiments, but am concerned that you assume there to be a critical mass of decent NuLab members; given all the dubious or disgraceful legislation almost all of them have supported, is that assumption justified?

      The only ones of whom I am aware who are decent, principled and sane are Frank Field and Bob Marshall-Andrews (retiring at the end of this parliament). I am sure there are others, but it worries me that their identities have yet to reach me.

      Yet there are dozens who pop up regularly to justify the insupportable, to spout the party line, however daft, and generally behave like lapdogs. Are they among a minority?

      It will be intriguing to see if Clarke replies to you!

    • 464
      You Couldn't Make It Up says:

      I didn’t hate Old Lsbour – some of them were proper human beings, like Denis Healey (a shocking Chancellor but a good photogrpher), and I even wrote a letter to Lord George-Brown when he collapsed dead drunk in the gutter after resigning. He wrote me a very charming reply btw.

      But I do well hate this NuLabour lot – with a passion;
      and I wish them all dead – or anywhere they can do no further damage

  10. 11
    Andy says:

    We should have a General Election when we have Local and European Elections. Time this miserable Government went, and it is time that Gordon the Moron retired to a mental hospital. Considering the mess they have made I am amazed that 26% of our people would actually vote for them. I pray for the destruction of the Labour Party daily.

    • 14
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      If I were a god-botherer I’d pray daily for the destruction of all political parties.

    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      They’d better get a move on then, if its not announced this weekend its not going to happen. But I do wish he’d just go. Has he not earned/troughed enough?

    • 102
      Isis says:

      Your prayers are being answered. (Sort of) By destroying us, they are destroying themselves.

      • 414
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        A bit like those people who commit suicide by throwing themselves under a train, finish their own life and ruin that of the driver. Thanks mate!

    • 277
      Casual Observer says:

      A significant proportion the the UK’s electorate have ‘Vote Labour’ stamped on their birth certificates.

      They are, in general, those when interviewed on telly don’t know the names of any of the government luminaries, their opposition shadows or even their own MP for who they blindly voted in last time. Quite sad really…

    • 313
      Hacked_off says:

      You will find those 26% consist mainly of public sector ‘workers’ in non-jobs and those for whom voting for anyone but liebour is seen as a betrayal of their heritage, and who would vote for liebour if they put a monkey up.

      • 348
        Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        Spot on. Like the lady on Question time last night “from the Valleys” or like the darkness in Monklands, Scotland.

        Why don’t they look around in their own deprivation and see for themselves what 70 years of blind support for The Party has delivered to their communities.

        Wake up people. This is 21st century.

      • 415
        The Whifflepoof says:

        Leanne the Plaid Cymru woman on Question Time last night was still superglued to the idea that Labour would benefit the people of the valleys. So what are the valleys like after twelve years of New Labour, eh?

    • 343
      Gordo (Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Of those 26%, the ones that aren’t either in jobsworth public sector jobs or on benefits, really need remedial.

      • 383

        These people should not be allowed to vote, or everyone else should have extra votes.

      • 410
        Feduptothebackteeth says:

        With a bit of luck, they won’t. Let’s hope for a wet polling day.

      • 416
        Dan Dare - Pilot of the Future says:

        Odin’s Raven, the idea of a second or third vote was put forward by Neville Shute in one of his novels. Cannot remember if it was “In the Wet” or “On the Beach”. Either way, service in the armed forces or service to the community got you extras.

      • 422
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        #381 Odin’s Raven
        #412 Dan Dare (I used to enjoy reading your adventures – you must be getting on a bit now)

        Excellent though these ideas are, under the current regime it’ll never happen – elitist, innit?

        I’ve occasionally toyed with the notion of everyone getting a positive and a negative vote: one to be cast for whomever you least want to lose, one for who you least want to win.

        It would make results more volatile, thus reducing the chance of a ’seat for life’ that the red-rosetted donkey gets in the nastier bits of t’North or the blue-rosetted one in Surrey’s more sylvan parts.

      • 426
        Anonymous says:

        Its the same 26% who are still blaming the Conservatives for the state the country is in today

  11. 12

    Gordon is definitely moving into Tappesque territory:

    “This tasteless leader is a good indication of the lack of political invention within. The political growth of this government cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad politics.”

    Marty Di Bergi (almost) PBUH

    • 83
      Dick the Prick says:

      Steady on TT – isn’t that a description of the assorted urchins camped out in your barn?

  12. 13
    Spin Doctor says:

    Hilary Benn went out of his way to defend McGlobal on Question Time last night. McGlobal ain’t going without a fight. He’s going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming out of No10 and that’s after he’s left his grubby fingernails embedded in the Downing Street doorstep.

    • 15
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      He’ll go like Thatcher – in tears.

    • 31
      Doctor Mick says:

      Aye, did not Brutus defend Caesar? Was he not his friend?

    • 63
      Trough Mixture says:

      I really tried to find some common human characteristics with Hilary Benn and failed…. again. He doesn’t respond to criticism or questioning like others of our species. The man is like something reanimated. Is there a Houngan on the No.10 payroll? I think we should be told.

      • 86
        Hugh Janus says:

        I hope for the sake of us all, that this lunatic is deposed pronto. Never mind keeping him there for ritual humiliation when he loses spectacularly the GE – it may not seem possible given his record but he can still inflict even greater damage as he pursues, knowingly or not, his vicious scorched-earth policy, never caring about the consequences of his actions. His pronuncements over the past few weeks are nothing short of scary – he’s clearly barking and must be removed immediately. The thought of him continuing in office is deeply worrying.

      • 217
        Deeply Regret says:

        He is like his father – completely unable to accept or understand any opinion other than his own. That’s where his blank look comes from – he’s simply toleratng alternative viewpoints because under our so called constitution he has too.

      • 419
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        Tony Benn wanted to abolish the Monarchy because he didn’t believe in the hereditary principal but his son and granddaughter are up to their necks in politics. Don’t tell me that the ex-Viscount Stansgate didn’t pull strings or rely on sycophancy from his supporters to get them where they are.

    • 167
      Vic Melons says:

      When Gordon goes it’ll be out the back door. He’s too much of a chicken to face the cameras.

    • 201
      Leave us in peace says:

      Hilary Benns performance was an insight into the mentality of the bunker. He looked genuinely furious when he was asked to answer the gurka question rather than parrot statistics McMentalist style. He seemed to be thinking “who the hell are you, an ordinary person to question the way I answer a question. Have you no idea who I am and how important we, the Labour cabinet are.”
      It was actually unnerving and is a clear lead as to why they feel the authority to take away civil liberties and dictate the way we can lead our lives!
      It was also breathtaking to hear him say to Andrew Lansley – why didn’t you do anything about the Gurka question when you were in government! They still believe the idea that the Tories are accountable for every single thing that is wrong – regardless of the fact that they have had 12 years to change anything they wanted with an unchallenged majority for most of that.

      • 390
        Labour marxist scum everyone says:

        Remember who’s progeny he is , that explain it?

      • 391
        Susie says:

        Benn was showing his complete ignorance and Labour’s traditional disregard for the armed forces by asking Landsbury that question.

        Until 1997, the Gurkhas had their base in Hong Kong, but with the handover to the colony to the Chinese, this could not continue and it was up to the incoming Labour government to provide alternative arrangements for the regiment.

        The Tories had no need to make alternative arrangements for them as they already had! I was surprised neither Landsbury, nor Dimbleby corrected Benn on this straw dog. Another open goal missed.

    • 292
      Scallywag says:

      The count is up to 38,060 and rising..

      Where are the large men in white coats when you need them?

  13. 16
    Unsworth says:

    Clarke is just about the only candidate with the slightest vestige of credibility. Good to see Blunkett attempting to ride the rapids, though. Hope the bastard falls off and drowns.

    And what happens to the country whilst these cretinous vultures squabble over the carcass of NuLabour?

    Whoever comes out on top, it’s clear that it’ll be life as the Leader of the Opposition from now on.

    • 22

      “And what happens to the country whilst these cretinous vultures squabble over the carcass of NuLabour?”

      The populace might at last be left to its own devices, a good thing I’d say.

    • 24
      Anonymous says:

      Blunkett will do anything to get attention and can’t resist the offer of a £50 fee for an appearance in the media. He’s so widely disliked by the public,remember that he’s now a has-been with no chance of regaining a Ministerial job and simply shut-up.

      • 51
        The Fallen Angel says:

        Last year at an A Level politics conference in London David Blunkett gave a 40 minute speech to over 400 students in which he intimated that the press in this country enjoyed too great a level of freedom of speech.

        Unsurprisingly he was laughed out by 16-18 year olds who knew he was only being bitter because of his self sustained injuries in this area…. (Other speakers later on thay day such as Andrew Neill and Peter Oborne discredited him too!)

        The point of the above anecdote being that yup- he will do anything for a pay cheque!!!!

      • 82
        Muppet says:

        Blunkett was there on the list yesterday as one of the Hoons who voted against letting the Gurkhas in. This should be used as a caption on any media he shows his miserable face on.

      • 97
        Hugh Janus says:

        Blunkett on Toady yet again. What is their fascination with this disgraced minister, this media tart? It isn’t for nothing the name ‘Blunkett’s Broadcasting Corporation’.

      • 250
        Dr Feelgood says:

        @81

        You can’t blame Blunkett – the guide dog has been trained to always vote with ayes.

      • 420
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        Blunkett, Hmmmmm… wasn’t he the bloke who gave Abu Hamsa a British passport but voted against the Gurkhas.

    • 25
      Kim Jong Broon says:

      Ah Mr Blunkett.

    • 32

      Charles Clark is a big eared thug. The bloated hyena pulling at the entrails on a disemboweled New Labour. The sooner he gets prostrate cancder, the better.

      • 48
        Dr Raj Patel says:

        I could see him at 3:00pm today for a consultation and examination.

      • 87
        Mr Ned says:

        We need a good proctologist to remove that pain in the arse.

      • 168
        Charles Hardwidge says:

        Old Holborn, your vileness would be more effective if you had a smattering of education.

        “Prostrate cancer” indeed. Ignorant moron.

      • 196
        Dick the Prick says:

        Charles – have you ever kissed a girl or is it just cocks up the arse that floats your boat? I fucking hate spelling trolls.

      • 339
        yoda says:

        Aaah!..CEH has reincarnated..

        Hello ..are you feeling better now?

        Presumably, your Zen has pulled you through the depths of depression following the spectacular collapse of the Beloved Leader.

      • 421
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        Prostrate Cancer, yep he’s right. You get sick with cancer, you go to the hospital, they put you in a bed, you lie down. Prostrate cancer, see!

      • 425
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        #168 Charles Hardwidge

        As you’re so stern about literals in typescript, could we have the benefit of your views on the Dear Leader’s little oral slip-up yesterday?

        At the Iraq press conference he said that the fallen would be commemorated by an ‘albuterum’ (I think it was – but it wasn’t too clear – was he trying to say ‘arboretum’?).

        Does that constitute ‘vileness’ and make him an ‘ignorant moron’? Many on here would not require these further proofs. Nonetheless, I think we should be told.

    • 61
      bergen says:

      Can’t see Charles”the pies”Clarke as a stalking horse-perhaps a stalking donkey.He reminds me of Ted Heath,the same sort of bitterness at being cast out into the darkness.

      Whatever you say about “Godfather”Brown and his deeply unpleasant friends,they’ve made sure any potential rival is already damaged goods.

    • 84
      Mr Ned says:

      leader of the opposition? God I hope NOT! I would love to see labour relegated to the far corner opposite. I would be willing to accept the Lib-Dems as an ineffective and weak opposition.

      I want labour to be utterly routed, cast aside, destroyed forever as a political force.

      • 108
        Isis says:

        Oh come on, let them have at least one seat.

      • 236
        Anonymous says:

        ok so long as its a bog seat from B&Q (not on expenses)

      • 332
        no longer anonymous says:

        Alas I fear the electoral system will make it very hard for the Lib Dems to get more seats than Labour even if they get more votes. Would still rather have FPTP than PR though.

    • 88
      JohnS says:

      What makes you think Labour will be the opposition? Hopefully it’ll be a strong LD opposition to keep the Cons in check.

    • 311
      Mary Hinge says:

      Clarke has a huge dewlap covered with bum-fluff.
      He lacks all credibility.
      OTOH, he isn’t called Balls.

  14. 17
    spike says:

    Why dont you leave the the hoon alone.He did score higher than clegg and cameron in the gurka debate according to top Guardian hack.

  15. 18
    Kim Jong Broon says:

    Did anyone see his interview on Channel 4 News yesterday? Apparently he achieved everything he wanted on MPs expenses and the You Tube performance was all the fault of the right wing press.

    The man is seriously deranged.

    • 23
      Seriously Deranged Gordon McSnot says:

      No I’m not, you are. Ha ha ha.

    • 27
      Mrs Hardwidge says:

      McSnot does a good impersonation of Tommy Cooper at the beginning of the interview – Juslikethat!

      • 30
        Elby The Beserk says:

        Fuck off. Any comparison of Hoonface to the glorious Mr. Cooper is blasphemy. Wash your mouth out. With carbolic soap.

      • 41
        Tommy Cooper says:

        I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘have you got anything for wind’ ,
        so he gave me a kite.

      • 52
        Dirty Rat says:

        My favorite T.C.
        Since 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese And there are 5 people in my family, it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad… or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha Chu. But I’m pretty sure it’s Colin.

      • 120
        Just like that says:

        I am on the Whisky Diet. I have lost 3 days already

      • 156
        simon r says:

        One of Tommy’s jokes especially for Gordon…

        I’ve always been unlucky.

        I had a rocking horse once, and it died.

      • 177
        Another Tommy Cooper joke says:

        A man goes to see his doctor and says [raising arm] “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”

        “Don’t do it, then,” says the doctor.

      • 401
        Lord Cholmondleigh Sidewinder says:

        Two elephants walked over a cliff.

        Boom, boom!

    • 149
      Gordon's big green bogey says:

      Get me out of here!

    • 377
      peter carter-fuck says:

      I agree. I saw it, and although I know that McFelcher is as mad as a box of frogs remanded to Broadmoor, even I was amazed at the depth of his stubborn denial of reality, and the petulant way he kept snapping that the interviewer was “quite wrong” when he made quite accurate observations, pointing out that McGape had made a twat of himself on YouTube, and was now spinning like Damien McBride on a Catherine wheel. This demented, charmless, perverted little fuck needs to go. Jack Straw, are you listening? Do your duty man.

      • 388

        Maybe politicians should be regularly tested for sanity. Those that fail an annual test should be expelled from politics. That’ll dispose of most of Labour.

  16. 19
    Alien8n says:

    OT but http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8027250.stm

    “The data in our report – the first of its kind – should go a long way to reassuring voters that the most recent elections were free from major incidents of electoral fraud.”

    Nice of them to only look at the elections where there was relatively little interference, no mention of Erith or the missing ballots in Scotland I see.

    Maybe we need a new petition to call for the complete suspension of postal votes until it can be shown to be secure from the kind of fraud we currently keep seeing.

    • 53
      Massey Vardon says:

      Yes, the headline very pointedly said ‘England and Wales’

    • 92
      Mr Ned says:

      Free from MAJOR incidents. Hmmmmmmmm? They do not say anything about thousands of minor incidents then?

      • 163
        Can't Kukri, Won't Kukri says:

        And guess which was the only political party mentioned by name in the BBC report?
        12 letters, ends in “ive”
        Fucking Ministry of Truth

    • 219
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Yup. The weasel words “most” and “Major” when Al Jabeeba could have simply published a list of elections involving fraud since, say, 2001, is very revealing. An obvious and crass control of information designed to ensure that the peasants think the right way. Goebbels’s doctrines live on.

    • 238
      Seth the pig farmer says:

      Get thee to No 10 website and set it up.

      I’ll follow

  17. 20
    Dr Feelgood says:

    What adds to the fun is the complete ‘hollowing out’ of the Labour party.

    No vision, no strategy for either themselves or the country, no real ideology except for spite and class envy.

    Very little grassroots activity, no large-scale and independent online community (which is an important lesson from the Obama election).

    For example, the Labour trolls here only work local council/union/party office hours – no serious personal commitment.

  18. 28
    Watching NuLab disintegrate says:

    Rejoice, rejoice!

  19. 34
    Anonymous says:

    The ‘have no shame’ award of the day goes to…

    Kevin Maguire on BBC Breakfast and the following quote: “[Brown] is very good at spin”

    • 46
      Lizzie says:

      Julius Ceasar also trusted the people around him!

      • 47
        Rick the Roman says:

        From Caesar we get the saying – “Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer” – I wonder if Gordo is a student of Roman politics

    • 198
      Centre Parting says:

      Why are the BBC still using Maguire?
      I know people are innocent until proven guilty, but they would have dropped him like a shot had he been right wing.

      While I’m at it, why is John Pienaar still on Radio 5 – he has spent years biasedly apologising for Blair and continued to do so for Brown until recently, when he has begun his slow change of view to try and let himself down slowly in an attempt to appear up with things.

    • 326
      Anonymous says:

      Maguire’s a complete fucking Geordie hoon. Fuck knows why any fucker’d want to give him airtime.

      I amazed he managed to find his way out from 20 foot up the Golem’s alimentary canal.

  20. 35
    Elby The Beserk says:

    Mortgage protection scheme utterly useless

    Plan to help people forced out of their homes during the recession has only assisted one family… (Well, who’d have believed it? {Ed.})

    t was announced with much fanfare in September at the height of the banking crisis – the government’s big idea to stop vulnerable people being thrown out of their homes. But yesterday it emerged that the mortgage protection scheme has so far helped just one family across the whole of the UK.

    The scheme, part of a package of emergency measures rushed in last autumn after months of tumbling house prices, has been “operational across the country” since January, according to the local government department; yet data published on its website yesterday showed that just one homeowner, in the east of England, has qualified.

    • 100
      Mr Ned says:

      What do you need to qualify for assistance? Enough money in the bank to pay off a mortgage if you are made redundant?

      Labour are a really sick joke!

    • 172
      Moley says:

      Labour’s response to every crisis is not “What can we do”?

      It is always “What can we say?”.

      There is not and never has been any mechanism to translate words into action, and the Labour Party does not believe it to be necessary.

    • 194
      Backwoodsman says:

      Yes, but the govt employees running the scheme are probably still preparing their department elf ‘n safety documents and doing their diversity and equality training courses. You can’t take short cuts you know.

    • 226
      Right Bastard says:

      The family’s name was Blair.

    • 378
      peter carter-fuck says:

      So, NuLabor have helped one family. How much better they are than the do nothing Conservatives. Of course, 19,000 people went bankrupt in the last quarter, but fuck em, they were probably capitalists.

  21. 36
    Lizzie says:

    Saw Brown on Sky last night, he said that he is doing what the people want! if he really wants to do what the people want, he should call a general election, he has a very selective memory, has he not seen what is on the No10 website. Maybe Blunkett will be the “stalking horse”

    • 96
      Muppet says:

      A Hoon being stalked by a w@nker!

      Julie-bleedin’-andrews…

    • 207
      eye-eye says:

      No eyes are better tahn one!

    • 380
      peter carter-fuck says:

      If McArsewipe really plans to do what people want, he’ll be cutting his own head off with an electric carving knife on YouTube. I’ll certainly get the popcorn in and settle down to watch.

  22. 38
    julie says:

    not fun, not if you need decent public services, not if you actually care about parks, libraries, schools….it is a shambles…future thrift does not come close to what is going to be needed

  23. 40
    The Master says:

    Straw dons a grey suit, Gorgon is ushered out in a straightjacket, Clarke stalks and the Postman is elected…..but what about Harperson?

    • 50
      Anonymous says:

      She was slated to appear on QT last night, but was replaced by Mr Benn. Was that in case she went off message?

      • 68
        Sunny Jim says:

        Another no-show by her, wasn’t it?

        A pity; I was looking forward to seeing her get ripped apart

      • 70
        P1 says:

        Harman’s keeping low-profile hoping to slide into the top job when Brown folds. Problem is, she’s the Beckett in all this – she thinks she’s great, most other people disagree, but more importantly she’s completely unelectable as a Labour PM. She wants the job but she can’t actually do it – deja vu all over again for Labour

      • 78
        Trough Mixture says:

        “A pity; I was looking forward to seeing her get ripped apart”

        You would have certainly heared it – the auld mare’s a Banshee.

  24. 45
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve just listened to that condescending bint, Prawn Dimarolo.

    “Use a tissue, throw it away, wash your hands, and put your jimmy-jams on”

    Not sure if she’s talking about the flu, or Jackboots’ husband.

    I now feel extremely nauseous – could I have Prawn Fever?

    • 117
      Isis says:

      Dawn Prim-a-whore is another useless piece of shite on the withholding of business Vat repayments, the bitch said this;

      Dawn Primarolo, Paymaster General, clarified the mindset at HMRC on last week’s Panorama when she said ‘a delay to the innocent is better than a payment to the guilty.’

      • 158
        Anonymous says:

        Primarolo is singlehandedly responsible for a great deal of damage to the small business community.

        I hope she grows a moustache and her tits fall off.

        Oops. Too late.

    • 255
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Gordon Brown. “Britain is the best-prepared country to resist a Swine Flu pandemic”.

      “Department of Health document warns that the health service is already working close to its capacity, leaving little scope to meet the demands of a mass outbreak of swine flu, which could force doctors to turn away patients needing intensive care. ” attr DT. this am.

      Gordon Brown ” No wheels on my wagon, but I’m still rolling along………”

    • 316
      Geordie Girl says:

      What’s with that ridiculous accent she affects (only to drop her aitches when she forgets). She talks to people as if they are 3 years old – she needs a good slap round the chops.

      • 373
        Adrian Prole says:

        When the patronising cow came on Sky News this morning, I immediately turned off the telly. Mrs Prole told me off for swearing.

  25. 54
    James says:

    Listened to David Blunkett this morning. His reaction to the disastrous Youtube clip, is that the Labour Party are “trying to get with it”. this is the whole point, you are either “with it” or not. Labour are not “with it” and their web 2.0 excursions are a wonder to behold (not in a good way). They just do not “get it”.
    Oh for the days, of elderly experienced statesmen who do not pretend to know what the popular flavour of the day is, and just get on with the job in a responsible way. Mind you has that ever been the case?

    • 66
      Quasimodo says:

      And, according to Blunkett, Brown is still so busy saving the World he hasn’t got time for (evidently) little local difficulties such as he’s encountered this week in Parliament. WTF!
      Blunkett is yet another money-grubbing, self-important, political legend in his own mind.

      • 81
        P1 says:

        Blunkett was of course one of the early casualties (self-inflicted) of the troughing mentality. Who could forget his one man travel agency operation handing out tax-payer funded rail tickets to his current squeeze, and his uniquely exoensive(for the taxpayer) residential arrangements?

        He’s very over-rated (mostly by himself) and a bit of an embarassment – just like Brown/Harman/Straw/Prescott/Milliband(x2)/Balls (x2)/Dimaroloo/Smith/Hoon (god help us!)/Johnson and the rest.

      • 234
        Right Bastard says:

        In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is (wan)king.

      • 239
        Dick the Prick says:

        Yeah – this Gurkha thing that has come out of the bright blue beyond only recently 200 years ago. It absolutely beggars belief that it ever got anywhere near Parliament other than for a moment of job done media management.

        ‘These Gurkhas are awfully impudent aren’t they? Asking for residence and such, I mean, what the devil have they ever done for Blighty?’

        Taxis, £1 million quids worth? Pour moi?

        Ayo Gurkhari indeed – only a complete fucking loon stands in front of those guys which usually classifies them as ‘the enemy’ but NuLab must have missed the fact that when they salute Brenda, she smiles.

    • 71
      Anonymous says:

      Well he couldn’t see it, could he.

    • 121
      Isis says:

      Even if they did “get it”, it wouldnt mean they were “with it”. They are so far and beyond “without it” they still dont “get it”

    • 293
      Anonymous says:

      I doubt Blunket has seen the video

      • 345
        simon r says:

        someone had to watch it with him and explain what was happening on screen – but had to be dragged from the room shrieking in laughter.

  26. 55

    The PM’s official political spokesman, Nick Robinson, just said “this was all a bit of fun, no leadership challenge, PM’s authority is fine, he’s shown his expertise and potency before and will do it again. Cringe and fear me earthlings, for I am your once and eternal leader”

    Fucking BBC propagandist scum. They dont’ even try for independent reporting now. We’re going to have to press Hadrian’s Wall into action for a firing squad on this scale…

    • 109
      Ashamed about the BBC says:

      Nick Robinson could always step in (unlected of course) to fill Brown’s place when he’s forced out. Would anyone notice?

    • 134
      Isis says:

      Yep, and we pay them to talk shite as well.

      • 269
        DD says:

        I think you should say that LOUDER .
        Perhaps when they are reminded again and again who PAYS their wages, we might return to an IMPARTIAL

        WE PAY YOUR WAGES BBC!
        FROM THE OVERPAID DG TO THE UNDERPAID GOPHER< WE THE PUBLIC PAY YOUR WAGES AND WE ARE GETTING SERIOUSLY PI$$ED OFF!

    • 287
      Grytpype-thynne says:

      Looks like Jacqboots is being lined up

      • 427
        Cyco Billy says:

        For PM? For shooting? Or to permit the orderly passage of motor vehicles?

    • 288
      The big D says:

      Time for a change of initials to BMT, British Ministry of Truth?

  27. 56
    State informant specialising in misuse of wheelie bins, and rubbish bags says:

    Quote to a senior lobby journo piece of filth:
    ‘Gordon is looking for someone to blame over the Gurkhas’

    Try looking at yourself you gibbering, snot encrusted, bullying, hate filled, inadequate, mendacious, spendaholic, cowardly Scotch mental.

    • 59
      Doctor Mick says:

      Surely he has run out of whipping boys?

    • 74
      Dr Feelgood says:

      Watch out for some nasty and vindictive piece of revenge against the Gurkhas further down the line; e.g. lose a battalion in the next defence review.

      Surprised Lumley hasn’t been arrested for possesion of a bladed weapon.

  28. 60
    Anonymous says:

    David Blunkett – what vision that man has – he can comment on a youtube Video?
    John Prescott – the transport policy punching shagging guru
    Peter Mandelson – Tata – if you know what I mean Hinduja
    Margaret Beckett – sophisticated stateswoman oh yesss
    Jacqui Smith – bank holiday at home dear – er which one

    and they are all Scottish aren’t they ………….oh no sorry they are English scum not Scottish scum.

    • 94
      Anonymous says:

      Yeah-they are MOSTLY english scum-BUT the few scots scum are absolutely PUTRID!

      Its ENDEMIC to the British isles!

    • 113
      Mrs Kindleysides, Penrith says:

      The transformation of Margaret Beckett has been remarkable.

      12 years ago she had a pronounced midlands accent and now she tries her best to speak posh but just sounds forced and ridiculous.

      I thought these envious lefties hated toffs and all they stand for, so why on earth is she having elocution lessons to try and make herself sound posh? She clearly doesn’t like herself very much!

      They really are all very confused and sick people.

      • 146
        Dick the Prick says:

        Patricia Hewitt triggers a reflex nerve with me – I start shuddering to a state of apoplexy regardless of what drivel is being spoken.

      • 266
        Trough Mixture says:

        I suspect it’s because “Pulchritude for Beginners” thought she’d struggle.

  29. 62
    Tynan Weird says:

    Is that Mandy whistling?

    I’m singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain
    What a gloooorious feeeeling

    and kick, kick, splosh turn

    That will teach Lina Lamont who really does the singing when she flaps her gums.

  30. 72
    Anonymous says:

    +++Is Brown Bonkers? +++

    The telegraph think so

    Gordon Brown’s tactics lack glimmer of sanity

    The madness of Gordon Brown is farther advanced than we had thought.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/gordon-brown/5252320/Commons-sketch—Gordon-Browns-tactics-lack-glimmer-of-sanity.html

  31. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Today is also the birthday of the great Joanna Lumley. Happy Birthday and thank you.

  32. 76
    Sir Richard Branstons says:

    Imagine the despair in the Labour PLP.

    The spectre of their old non jobs of union agitator, local government pen-pusher, media studies lecturer, junior employment lawyer, equalities officer, and bus driver must be causing sleepless nights.
    To think these poor people wont be able to claim for caravans, taxis, bath plugs, and sinks brings a tear to me glass eye it does.

    Such an uge pity Stephen ‘gobshyte’ Pound has ‘ad a favourable boundary change bringing ordes of lobotomised, benefit scrounging chimps into is constituency.
    Seeing that particularly pompous, pointless wretch driving the number 73 again would have made me decade.

  33. 77
    Gordon Brown says:

    Just remember, peasants, its ALL ABOUT ME!!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA1

  34. 95
    • 111
      Rick the Roman says:

      Britain’s Got Talent – NOT

    • 436
      Elby The Beserk says:

      Hoon. My son-in-law to be wants to be a fireman, but has told he can’t.

      Why? Because he’s white, & the Avon & Somerset Fire Service has to give priority to ethnic minorities, and he is not allowed to apply.

  35. 98
    The big D says:

    Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick ping. Public patience with MP’s expenses timer finished

    Yesterday’s Commons triumph of style over substance was the end of public forbearance for the HOC. The not quite worst option, of allowing the committee to complete its work, was ignored by the Labour wish to be seen to do something, anything.

    If members had wanted to show progress yesterday, a vote for refunding only expense incurred would be a start. Leave the committee to sort out allowed accommodation expenses, and receipts for everything claimed. Everything. Just like the public who voted for them have to.

    If one of the existing parties wins the next election, nothing will change. An influx of 200 or so new faces will still leave 2/3 of the existing people in place to vote to maintain the status quo.

    Time for the end of corrupt, whipping, self serving political parties.

    A majority of independent candidates in the HOC is required for change.

    People who do not need party allegiance to progress. People who have the ethic of putting the country, and its people’s wishes first. If it says on the tin, a referendum on Europe, that what the public get.

    The existing system is broken. It will get fixed, one way or another.

    • 181
      Mr Ned says:

      Well there exists more than enough people, to whom there is no party allegiance, for this idea (a majority of local independent candidates) to really succeed.

      http://ken-hall.blogspot.com/2009/03/this-is-why-mainstream-news-media-is.html

      A bit ranty, but a decent read. All we need to do is to tell the pissed off majority that THEY have the political power in this land. Now, should they choose to accept that power, we could have a real honest decent peaceful and democratic revolution in this once pristine land.

    • 254
      Goebbels says:

      Ve hav vays of meking you tock.

    • 393

      How will it get fixed when no substantial group of politicians will do anything effective? Perhaps in 50 years or so when the majority of the population are Muslim, they’ll create an Islamic theocracy. In the meanwhile our politicans are just greedy pigs.

      • 429
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        #390 Odin’s Raven

        ‘Perhaps…they’ll create an Islamic theocracy.’

        PERHAPS?????

        That is the single certainty in the British politics of the future.

  36. 103
    Rob says:

    Rick – I think you will find that the remark was made by Tiberius although Caesar should have sadi it.

    • 115
      Rick the Roman says:

      Rob – He certainly practiced it. Mind you Tiberius was nearly as popular as Gordo and had to “retire” to Capri at the end of his reigh for security reasons. Perhaps Gordo could find peace and quiet on Lundy Isle

      • 175
        Muppet says:

        Where he will throw people from the cliffs for entertainment?

        (OK, I admit I don’t know if Lundy has cliffs, could be like a billiard table for all I know)

      • 261
        Right Bastard says:

        They only allow sheep on Lundy, not pigs – especially Scottish ones.

      • 274
        wyvern says:

        Gruinard would be more suitable.

      • 394

        Loch Ness must have room for another monster. Gordon .

      • 430
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        Lundy has cliffs around 300 ft high in places, from memory.

        It is also about the most peaceful place I have ever spent a holiday. Accomm is all self-catering/camping, it has a pub that does food and brews its own. Unlike most Landmark Trust properties, it is affordable by people not on the receiving end of recent City largesse.

        So keep Brown off Lundy, PLEASE. Gruinard makes MUCH more sense; that nice Mrs Anne Thrax will look after him in the way we would all wish.

  37. 107

    yesterday’s hansard is a doozie – go take a look. HH seems to have struggled to say anything that wasn’t utter gibberish. It beggars belief that Brown figured yesterday’s chaos was the best result he could get.

    Is there anything, I wonder, not to be ashamed about in this current government?

    • 126
      nell says:

      BBC seemed to think the government did quite well yesterday over the expenses debacle. Out of touch with reality as usual. At least the Daily Labourgraph is getting back to its old position – trying to win back those of us who dumped it in disgust. Hopefully a new government in 2010 will review the BBC’s dismal biased reporting performance.

    • 297
      Grytpype-thynne says:

      Or a walk in the woods?

  38. 110
    R.McGeddon says:

    I think that everyone’s giving our Dear Leader far too much stick, pointing out that he’s a sandwich short of a picnic, that he’s less popular than the Black Death and starting petitions calling for his sectioning under the Mental Health Act.
    As this is the Bank Holiday weekend ( including all those banks he’s nationalised with our money ) I think we should club together and send him on a four day cruise, pirate-spotting off the coast of Somalia. In order to keep costs down he can dispense with his usual bodyguards and take a detachment of Gurkhas instead.
    I’ll chuck fifty quid into the kitty. Any other donations ?

    • 127
      It's all Balls says:

      I could just about live with a sandwich short of a picnic

      Brown’s problem is that he is a loaf short

      • 275
        Digital Input says:

        .. picknose?

      • 474
        Aethelred says:

        Brown is not only a planet short of a place to hold a picnic on, he is short of a time-space continuum in which an intelligent life-form might, after endless aeons of time, evolve into something which could arrive at the concept of picnic.

    • 173
      jgm2 says:

      If Brown were at a picnic he’d be the broken glass lying at the bottom of your flask of tea.

    • 200
      Mr Ned says:

      Brown would be the half of a slug you find in your sandwich.

    • 273
      Right Bastard says:

      He’d be the shit-encrusted sandwich wrapper used to wipe the arse with after having a shit in the bushes at the end of the picnic.

  39. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Swine flu leaflet from Bean

    http://subrosa-blonde.blogspot.com/

    • 222
      Mr Ned says:

      LMAO!!!

      Also I saw the interview with Brown, He is clearly delusional. He is psychologically unfit to remain in office. He must be removed from office at once, he is a deranged mental case. A lunatic. Insane.

  40. 118
    It's all Balls says:

    I’m not qualified to say whether Brown is nuts or not – but as a voter I am qualified to say that he is the most unstatesmanlike political leader it has ever been my misfortune to observe.

    He looks and acts like a complete bozo and, like it or not, he represents us, the UK. Doesn’t that make you proud? What must other World leaders think of him. Actually, we know that judging by recent meetings he’s had while busy collecting airmiles.

    He is his own victim. As the old adage goes “If you tread on people to get to the top, they’re not going to offer you a helping hand on the way down.”

    Bye-bye Brown.

    • 229
      Mr Ned says:

      It does not take a PHd to recognise delusional insanity. Brown is a lunatic.

      • 431
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        Nor a PhD.

        It might be a bit above the powers of a GCSE equivalent at Berkeley, though.

  41. 122
    Ian Austin MP and Broonarselickerinshit says:

    Guido and your crazy raeders are all mad, mad,mad,mad,mad

    • 151
      anon says:

      don’t be daft

    • 197
      Subordinate Clause says:

      Are the Vikings coming to save us?

      • 396

        Great idea. Vikings take away boatloads of Labour voters to sell into slavery. Britain saved! Unfortunately, no one would buy them. Maybe a bit of pillage and slaughter around Whitehall and Westminster could help though.

    • 406
      Lord Cholmondleigh Sidewinder says:

      I’m mad as a barrel of weasels with what McSnot has done.

  42. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Charles Clarke a stalking horse?

    He looks more like a cart horse.

    Is he really the best they have got to replace Gordon? Consider Harriet Harman, Yvette balls, Geoff Hoon, Peter Mandelson, Ed Balls, Jacqui Smith et al. Then frighteningly Charles Clarke is probably their brightest hope. Which means they have NO HOPE.

    • 129
      Rick the Roman says:

      Don’t be unkind to cart horses! He is was the Lobby nicknamed him – Shrek

    • 132
      It's all Balls says:

      I’d love NuLab to go into the next election with a Balls/Cooper joint ticket. They would get even less seats than if they had left Brown in charge.

    • 276
      Anonymous says:

      Anon

      You miss the point of the stalking horse. The stalking horse does not win the top pize but just kicks off a contest that then brings in all those worthy of the top slot.

      On the other hand though Ok! yup your right, Labour is still totally fucked!

      • 442
        Dawn Primarolo's Moustache says:

        He that wields the dagger never wears the crown.

  43. 124
    Mrs Kindleysides, Penrith says:

    I thought the Telegraph was finally turning against the government, but today I notice they are including an article written by the nasty, duplicitous Mandelson. What is wrong with them? This corrupt man is the power behind Brown and yet we are expected to read more spin and lies from him.

    I notice no comments have yet been published after his article and I have left 2 already this morning.

    • 193
      Subordinate Clause says:

      Give us a chance love, we’re still recovering from our lavish dinners at the local Gurkha restaurant

    • 272
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Behind Brown, eh? Often wondered who would be on the receiving end.

  44. 125
    Swiss Bob says:

    It’s amazing what a cold, hard dose of electoral reality can do to focus minds. I think you’re right, the knives are out and a bet on Brown to be gone by the end of summer is probably good value.

    O/T I’ve only been using Firefox for most stuff, Chrome occasionally, IE hardly ever. Then I had a look at my blog, thanks for telling me you bastards.

    All fixed (I think) and a litttle revamp included . The Daily Politics

  45. 128
    • 139
      Mrs Kindleysides, Penrith says:

      They have now printed 1 scathing comment! Moving in the right direction!

      • 157
        P1 says:

        Thanks Mrs Kindleysides. Read your alert that the Telegraph has some Mandy-spin today so saved myself 90p by not buying it.

        Anyway, how come Mandy has time to “write” articles for the press? Isn’t being a Business Minister a full-time job? Let’s start a campaign – No second-jobs for Government ministers, so to speak.

  46. 133
    SS says:

    I only worry about my Country.No mention of ‘we’re sorry’. ‘We ruined the economy for now and another 20 years’. They’re only worried about power and bribing a diminishing rump of client supporters to do it.What self-serving scum they are.

    • 152
      TheLaughingHomeSecretary says:

      Bruin will no sooner apologise for bankrupting Britain than Bliar will for lying about going to war.

    • 233
      Anonymous says:

      It won’t be forgotten.

      History books post-2010 will be written which will explain how the BBC were complicit in deliberately bankrupting the country purely in favour of warped/twisted illogical ideologies and self-preservation.

      The history books will see Brown/Labour as, economically speaking for the uk, more damaging than Hitler was.

  47. 136
    Anonymous says:

    It’s pathetic the way Gordon Brown is being blamed for the debacle over the ghurkas. Only one minister is at fault for that and that is Jacqui Smith. She really is useless and will be replaced in the next reshuffle.

    • 141
      It's all Balls says:

      Have you considered that the only reason she has kept her job is that she does exactly what Brown tells her to do?

      • 180
        37,950 think so too! says:

        The Prime Minister is responsible – he appoints the Cabinet.

        He sets the political tone and agenda.

        Despite Brown trying to wriggle out of responsibility he also sowed the seeds for the present economic crisis in the UK over the years he was Chancellor so let’s have no more sympathy for him.He is a failure as Prime Minister,wasn’t much better as a Chancellor and for the good of the country he and his government must be replaced at the next election !

      • 309
        wyvern says:

        Wrong, the real reason is that she has one of his farmy farm pigs and has threatened to take a sledgehammer to it if she is sacked.

    • 144
      HR Department says:

      We’re on to it. Just trying to finish her end-April expenses though before she goes – can someone advise if £28.00 is OK for a new pencil (second-home use only)?

    • 145
      Anonymous says:

      The Jacqui Smith who would rather have the taxpayer fund her family with porn, bath plugs and lodging scams?

      • 155
        anon says:

        yes, that’s the one!

      • 158
        TheLaughingHomeSecretary says:

        But sir, those lodging scams are all entirely within the rules we made up for ourselves.

      • 183
        P1 says:

        Yes, that’s the one. Amusingly the Smith-expenses scams are just the sort of thing that would get a Gurkha put on a charge. Still, we know it’s all within the rules so that’s all right then.

        Has her husband resigned yet? If not, when will she sack him?

      • 308
        Right Bastard says:

        Old Jacqboots Smiff
        Rolled up a spliff
        To help Richard stroke his large bone,
        But when she bent over
        Hubby took over
        And gave her a bone of her own.

    • 187
      Anonymous says:

      Is that you Mr McBride?

    • 190
      Trough Mixture says:

      I refer the honourable poster to what the Prime Inadequate said some 48 hours ago. The honourable gentleman/lady is quite wrong. They are BOTH useless. One has a Kangaroo on PCP loose in the top paddock, the other is bereft of morality or charm. They will BOTH be replaced before a general election and one of them sectioned with any luck, in a secure facility where the necessary “help” can be given.

    • 191
      Anonymous says:

      But my dere, – surely you realise that ‘Members’ (sic) of this ‘Government’ (sic) can’t even fart wiv-art permission of the Blessed One – He being a Control-Freak of the highest order.

    • 280
      It doesn't add up... says:

      Do something about it: petition for Jacqboots to go

      http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/smithshame/

  48. 137
    Scallywag says:

    Sometimes it helps to remember the response of an English politician who was accused of supporting two contradictory views at once:

    “If you can’t ride two horses at once you shouldn’t be in the circus.”

    On this basis the entire McTwat’s ZaNuLab aplogy for a government might be OK for a job when they get dumped at the next GE>

  49. 142
    V says:

    It’s time for a change..

    “And he hungers
    in his secret
    dreams for the
    harsh embrace
    of cruel machines
    but his lover is
    not what she
    seems and she will
    not leave a
    note.”

  50. 148
    Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

    Merely getting rid of Gordon will not fix Labour’s problem. Most of the cabinet are a waste of space or worse. It’s a full change of government, not just PM, that’s needed. Smith, McNumpty and the rest of them should also resign in shame. If proof were needed, look at sycophantic Benn last night!

    • 195
      anonymous says:

      That’s why in the General Election people need to vote for the candidate who has the best chance of beating Labour in their constituency ! If that is Conservative – vote Conservative – if it’s LibDem – vote LibDem in Scotland if it’s SNP vote SNP and in Wales if it’s Plaid Cymru vote Plaid Cymru

    • 454
      John Bullock says:

      Surely Gordon already has a second home? If he can’t br persuaded to go there, he should look for a Residential Home for the Feeble-Minded. If proposers are needed, they could form an orderly queue – up the M 1.

      I must say that Gordo is beginning to look like Maggie and the late Neil Kinnock. Lost touch with reality? Shame, but it’s costing us. I think that Mrs. Hillary B should have a quiet word in his ear. Buy him a Carriage Clock. That should let him know it’s retirement time.

  51. 153
    It's all Balls says:

    Offical survey

    1) How many ex Toenails contributors on this blog?
    2) How many ex Telegraph readers on this blog?

    Guido – please send results to both organisations

    Put me down as an ‘ex’ for both

    • 165
      Anon says:

      okay, put me down
      1. ex- Beano
      2. ex – Horse Riding for Girls

    • 211
      Spangle de Gangle says:

      Anon – don’t be so quick to have yourself put down.

      Me:

      1. ex – Chicken Sexing Monthy
      2. ex – Stanley Gibbons Philately World
      3. ex – Philately Sluts Doing It All

    • 251
      Mr Ned says:

      me

      ex toenails
      ex telegraph
      ex serial killers news
      ex butchers monthly
      ex slaughterhouse sluts journal
      ex skin-mask weekly
      ex screaming victims gazzette.

    • 296
      r timney says:

      ex playboy
      ex hustler
      ex big busted readers wives
      ex penthouse

      …discovered the delights of cable tv !

    • 321
      Right Bastard says:

      ex – ample

      ex – cited

      ex – crement

      ex – pelled

      ex – tinct

    • 381
      Fubar Saunders says:

      Me too, for both

    • 473
      Keith Vaz, twat around town says:

      ex – Asian Babes

  52. 161
    + + + NEWS FLASH!! + + + says:



    A Gummunt Spokes PorkPerson at 10 Drowning (in Debt) Street has released FINAL DETAILS of the May Day Parade

    The People’s Prime Minister, The Great Con Artiste, Comrade ‘Red-under-your-bed’ ‘Titian’ Brownstainovich, the Saviour of the World (3x), will take His place on the podium at 10am, ready to review the Procession through Red – oops – Parliament – Square.

    Mzzzzz. HaHaHaPerson Prudes together with other gullible nerds will line the streets holding things, and the honoured groups invited to Parade are as follows :

    1. Procession of Gummunt Apparatchiks in Zils.
    2. The Jowell Heavyweight pro-Lesbian Olympic Wimmin’s Wrestling Team and weight carriers.
    3. The Whining ‘It’s not my fault’ ‘League of pathetic losers, drop-outs, and scroungers (President, Comrade BrownStainovich).
    4. A Parade of Wheel Barrows and operators ready to receive IMF bail-out money
    5. Ooooman Roights Lor-yars, led by the weird witchy wommun with the weird mouth.
    6. Bent Bankers (displaying Knighthoods, honours, cash etc)
    7. Bonkers Bankers carrying placards
    8. Me-soj-cher-nists yoked together and whipped as they stumble
    9. Elf ‘n Safety officers, quangocrats, and other wastrels and non-productive officials
    10. Large mockup of the Great Helmsperson’s recently launched satellite and rocket drawn by tractor
    11. Parade of tractors drawing trailers of peasants with banners proclaiming ‘It’s not His Fault!’
    12. Parade of children from the Bollocks Academy holding cardboard cut-outs of ‘green shoots’
    13. Parade of Cown-slurs and other emergency services including Diversity and Equality Commisars, ‘elf ‘n safety innit officers, and dog-shit inspectors.
    14. Parade of ‘green’ pedal cars, – the soon-to-be-announced Brownstainovich Banger
    15. International Parade drawn from Rhumbabaland and N. Chorea.

    Before the Speeches
    Public thrashing of Me-soj-cher-nists by HaHaHaPerson Prudes and the Thought Police.

    Speeches
    Speech by Glorious and Beloved Leader. Theme : How I saved the World. (3 hours – culminating with administration of emergency tranquillisation and removal to padded room)
    Speech by Princess PollyTwaddle. Theme : How much I adore the Great HelmsPerson. (2 hours – culminating in orgasm)


    Old-Noo (née Noo-Old) GrinningBoringLiars – always taxing, always lying, always bankrupting the state, and ALWAYS WASTING YOUR MONEY on something POINTLESS NEAR YOU!

    • 379
      Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Think this lot had a punt on BetFred on how many places they could relegate UK Plc down the wealth league in a decade. Must be on a sizeable payout unless they overshoot and match the GDP of Laos quicker than expected.

    • 434
      Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

      Lovely stuff! Many thanks.

  53. 162
    Anonymous says:

    If David Cameron were not such a complete and utter dipstick, then Gordon and his crooked government would have been long gone.

    Britain is in serious trouble, we have the worst government since parliaments were invented and fuck all available to replace it.

    • 182
      Hugo Chaves says:

      So you are one of the 8% Mad Liberal Voters.

    • 186
      Anonymous says:

      Governments are difficult to get rid of.
      Think of the fag end of Callaghan’s government and the last years of Major’s Admin.

      • 346
        Hacked_off says:

        Ones with a mojority are even harder as this rules out the vote of confidence route.

    • 202
      Moley says:

      There is the question of Government debt and who buys it. This is another ticking i.e.d. Which could go off at any time and which may be triggered by political turmoil.

      It would be far better for Cameron that the pain is inflicted by the IMF rather than him, and probably better for everyone else as well.

      • 232
        Hugo Chaves says:

        I suffered thro’ the Wilson years, ‘The Pound in Your Pocket’, I quite agree.

    • 301
      Fruitcake says:

      Make the mental hoon in No 10 go to the IMF and not have the first act of a new PM to do the same. Be assured IMF we are going too and this is the second time Labour will need to do this.

      end to boom and bust, no more boom and bust, we will not return to boom and bust Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha

      • 404

        Maybe the IMF should charge for their loans. The severed head of the Prime Minister should accompany each application, and the corpse of a Labour voter be required for each £ lent.

  54. 164
    Rexel 56 says:

    O/T but….

    … if there are going to be 50m packs of antivirals for when the flu hits, doesn’t that cover everyone in England? After all, the Scots and the Welsh have their own health service don’t they?

    Just asking….

    R56

    • 170
      Anon says:

      Since the War of the Roses, the War of Attrition and the War of Phoney Postcodes, Scotland and Wales no longer exist.

      • 307
        Gerorge Bushytail says:

        I know where Englandland is but where is Scotlandland and Waleslandland ?

        I know where helicopterslandland though

    • 407

      Apparently the Tamiflu doesn’t work as the disease has changed, but Rumsfeld still makes a fortune from selling it. Presumably the government will waste a fortune buying it.

  55. 171
    Perry Neeham says:

    …meanwhile back at the ‘resign’ petition we’re up to 38,000. Would be nice to see it over 50K next week.

  56. 176
    Gordon Brown's fifth mobile phone this week says:

    Another day, another headache

  57. 178
    The Way Forward says:

    Blunkett wants to get back to old fashioned politics. Like fucking up the education system and imposing the most repressively fascist laws ever seen in this country.

  58. 188
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Personally, I want McMental at the helm when the SS Neo Labour finally succumbs to the storm & disappears beneath the turbulent seas of history for ever & ever amen.

    Even BBC-Pravda Toady programme has abandoned ship McBust.

    • 215
      Anonymous says:

      Suggest the fucker be tied to the helm, – and gagged.

      Otherwise we might hear wails of ‘It wasn’ae ma fult’ (etc) through the bubbles as it sinks.

    • 224
      Andy Carpark says:

      Mrs RRW – This is exactly what we used to say about Blair. We though no-one could be more of a liability. But then …

      “The Tories never liked Tony Blair, except in secret. They yelled at him, they resented his electoral success, they thought he was a charlatan, and they were outraged by his endless lists of non-existent triumphs. But they rarely laughed at him. They laugh at Gordon Brown. Sometimes the house is like a medieval village green where cruel boys throw insults and fruit at the local idiot, who shouts back and waves his arms like a broken windmill.”

      Simon Hoggart
      Thursday December 6, 2007
      The Guardian

      • 281
        Mr Ned says:

        The tories never had the balls to really call Blair on his blatant lies. The media were likewise impotent. Dereliction of duty on that scale cannot be by accident or coincidence. As has been demonstrated on the satirical newswipe program:
        http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k3687/b00k367v/Newswipe_Episode_6/

        Watch it at 14:00 minutes in and see an admission of the extent of the collusion.

        This dereliction of duty to inform the public honestly was deliberate and the mainstream media and the Government (and likely the opposition) were in collusion to manipulate the news agenda all along.

        How else could that lying delusional toe-rag Blair get away with constant blatant in-your-face lying?

      • 463
        You Couldn't Make It Up says:

        Mr Ned, William Hague regularly totally floored Blair at PMQs. he was forensic, quick, well-briefed, and very funny – and merciless, Much good it did him, the electorate, or his party. Neither the media nor the elecotrate was yet prepared to face the fact that their hero had feet of clay (and no morals)

      • 472
        Aethelred says:

        463 You Couldn’t Make It Up

        You are right about Hague’s good points.

        Unfortunately Hague was doomed by his appearance at the age of 15 at the Tory conference, which gave birth to the “Tory Boy” characature.

  59. 192
    Stalking Horse says:

    The stalking horse scenario applies only to the Conservative Party constitution, which led to that glorious day 20 November 1990. It should be commemorated by a national hoiday on that date.

    Maggie, Maggie, Maggie,
    Out, Out, Out

    etc.

    …sigh

    • 205
      anonymous says:

      You really ought to get over your “Thatcher Complex” – she’s been out of power for 19 years!! A generation of voters have been born since then,grown up and don’t give a toss about Maggie BUT they give a toss about not being able to find a job when they leave school,college or university and they blame the present Labour Government NOT Thatcher!!!

      • 212
        Stalking Horse says:

        Neigh, neigh, thrice neigh

      • 223
        Thatcher Poleaxed says:

        A long-handled hammer, about 9 to 10 lb, originally with an axe blade at the front, used at one time for stunning cattle prior to bleeding out at slaughter.

      • 336
        Cherie says:

        Who is Maggie Thatcher?

      • 374
        Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

        She was a lady of honour that refused to take the salary of a prime minister whilst in office.
        Additionally, her husband never set up a speech tour to allow him to make a fortune on the pretence of charity work.
        Oh, and she didn’t look like a wide-mouthed frog.

    • 471
      Aethelred says:

      What have you got against Maggie, and what would Homer and Marge say?

  60. 203
    Agent 99 says:

    …………and the award for the most deluded twat of the week goes too the cabinet minister close to Mr Brown who just told The Daily Telegraph:

    “We can still turn this round”

    • 209
      Moley says:

      If they keep on turning they will be spinning; that’s what he meant.

  61. 206
    Anonymous says:

    May Day! May Day! Labour Lunacy Meltdown

    May day is the Labour party equivalent of the Christian’s Easter day.

    They are done for, their day of ressurection has become an international distress signal.

    Even worse they haven’t even managed to transmit a May Day. Their pilot is making a power dive straight into the ground whilst maintaining radio silence and manic like appearances on Youtube.

  62. 208
    Trick Cyclist says:

    Snot-picker will hang on as long as he can; he wants to be remembered as a great prime minister, not some sad lonely figure sitting in the corner of a care home with a blanket across his knees, rocking to and fro while waiting for his medication.

    • 245
      righty right wing (mrs) says:

      lol

      You should have him drooling & whispering “It wasn’ae me”….

      Almost as funny as JGM2’s “big issue” post yesterday.

      regards

    • 306
      simon r says:

      No, that is too good for him, I want him found DEAD, trussed up in a gimp suit in the attic with an orange in his mouth – surrounded by spunk stained pictures of Obama.

      Then I want the footage of his swinging corpse on YouTube.

  63. 210
    Johnny says says:

    At what point will Labour MPs put their party, or even the nation, before their own need and thirst for being in power?

    Have too many of them been bought off by getting a chance to be in office? The cabinet is massive and there has been a steady churn over the years of Ministers and Junior Ministers. They’ve all had a taste of control and now aren’t prepared to sacrifice the hope of another chance to oust a malignant Prime Minister.

  64. 213
    Mr Christopher says:

    It’s odd that none of Brown’s accomplices could see the faults that were perfectly obvious to everyone else years ago. Rats leaving a sinking ship.

    The ‘great clunking fist’ turns out to have belonged to a ghostly headless corpse, doomed to repeat the same empty words over and over with every stroke of the division bell.

    • 461
      You Couldn't Make It Up says:

      It says a lot about the values of the electorate that I could see throught this lot and esp McBroon years ago – never did vote for them – and yet I’m broke. No work, no pension, and not for lack of trying. Yet these total fuckwits will retire rich even if they do lose their jobs in a few months’ time. Maybe you have had to be stupid and venal to get ahead in the last 12 years?

  65. 214
    killemall says:

    On the Toady prog this morning, the disgraced former Home Sec Blind Pugh was wittering on about how Gordy was doing the right thing, saving the world, leading the Party.

    Fer Christ’s sake, the twat is as deluded as McBust.

    • 227
      Mr Christopher says:

      The pirates aboard the Laborious still believe in Bad Brown’s Treasury Map, a bit like Hitler’s Secret Weapons that could save the Reich at the 11th hour.

  66. 218
    Anonymous says:

    Hold on a mo,

    Cabinet Office Minister Liam Byrne, i’m a consultant….brings in consultants to review the departments budget. Apparently he wants to create a war chest for labour party dirty tricks. Isn’t this illegal? oops they don’t care

    He is giving money to communications so labour can get their smears out (£2m we are told); Money to smeargate Watson for toys, although noise in the Whitehall bars say his twattercrats turned him down for jobs as they didn’t want smearing… probably on their tenth candidate now, and one that will be pliable and not very good or is about to be fired

    We are also told that Ministers in CO spend £1.5m on company cars but they all refused to give up their free perks for a pool

    The “top” bureaucrat doesn’t seem to care either. Maybe he is so close to gordo that he thinks he is a labour minister

    • 241
      Moley says:

      Problem solved.

      Give away a free smear with every one of the 30 million useless face masks.

  67. 220
    Scallywag says:

    O/T…

    It was good TV last night when Dimbleby basically told the idiot Hillary Benn to answer the question asked and not reel out all sorts of unsubstantiated figures about Ghurkas which nobody wants to hear yet again, like McTwat’s parrot, and then shut him up dead.

    Benn missed the point, as have the ZaNuLab mob that there should be no special rules for the Ghurkas. They should be treated the same as any other member of the British Army with all that that entails.

    I guess that’s better than being up the Nepalese mountains right now.

    • 246
      nell says:

      It’s just mind boggling isn’t it ? How Gordon is completely unable to read the mood of the public and how he keeps shooting himself in the foot. He could have granted the Gurkhas the right to settle in Britain without any special rules and have been seen to be generous, he could have left the expenses debacle to the forthcoming review and been seen to be sensible. But no he has to try and micromanage everything in his own cack handed way . It’s almost as though he is deliberately self-destructing. I hope he hangs on til the next election though because then labour is going to collapse into civil war.

      • 264
        Deeply Regret says:

        Then goes on Channel 4 news and denies everything.

      • 322
        Johnny says says:

        Gordon has never been able to read the public mood. He had Tony to do that for him for a decade and Brown has been all at sea without his mortal enemy for company.

        He is Captain Ahab without Moby Dick. A driven man who would be a spiteful old fool and utterly impotent without his nemesis. Ahab’s cause was to kill that whale. Brown’s cause was to better Tony Blair. To make good on the deal they had agreed. Blair sasheyed off into the loving embrace of The Quartet and still gets great plaudits and attention. All Brown has is the poisoned chalice of his own making.

      • 469
        Aethelred says:

        Brown has never had to worry about the public mood before. When Blair (the Hoon) was around, Brown could skulk in the shadows of the treasury while he pissed our money up against the wall, and was insulated from the public.

    • 248
      Hugo Chaves says:

      Daddy would not be pleased.

  68. 228
    Casual Observer says:

    I used to think that McBroon was full of shit.

    Now I know he’s actually as empty as the treasury’s coffers.

  69. 230
    Editorial Board of the Oxford English Dictionary says:

    My fellow editors and I are considering including the noun “hoon” in our revised 2010 edition. We welcome contributions from members of the public which illustrate how the noun is used in common day parlance and indications of whether its usage is limited to current and past ministers of Her Majesty’s Government.

    • 235
      Lady's Private Salty Part (and fun too - Big Boy!) says:

      I resent the aspersion, intrusion, extrusion, implication, ‘n that.

      • 289
        Anonymous says:

        Too slow you dinosaur

        Hoon is a derogatory term used in Australia and New Zealand to refer to a person who engages in loutish, anti-social behaviour. In particular, it is used to refer to one who drives in a manner which is anti-social by the standards of contemporary society, that is, fast, noisily or dangerously.

      • 468
        Aethelred says:

        @Anon 289 “a derogatory term used in Australia and New Zealand”

        That may be true but is irrelevant in the UK. Google “convergent evolution”.

    • 244
      Subordinate Clause says:

      ‘Hoon’ was coined by HM Forces in Iraq when first visited by the arsehole ex-Defence Minister, Geoff “Buff” Hoon. It has since been shortened to just ‘hoon’.

    • 247
      Lorna D'Hoon says:

      Hain and Mandelson are definitely front bottoms.

    • 331
      Rocky Wracke-Hoon says:

      I understand that the proposed minister’s dormitory block is to be known as ” Hoonbase Alpha”.

    • 385
      Hoony Tunes says:

      You ain’t nothin’ but a Hoon dog.

  70. 243
    An engineer writes... says:

    When Cameron wins the next election I will empathise with him.

    As a software engineer at a newly joined company I have to deal with code from a recently departed staff member that was dreadful: bloated, unreadable and chock full of bugs. The guy was a loud gobshite: full of talk, short on ability, everyone glad he’s gone.

    I know what it’s like to inherit a whole heap of crap while trying to put existing things right and taking stick from irate clients at the same time.

    Cameron’s task will be many orders of magnitude greater.

    • 344
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      As a retired SW engineer, I have been there and done that. You have my sympathy, and so does Boy Dave.

      • 358
        Gladys Pew says:

        Yup me too. You get a powerful insight into the other mind when you do maintenance programming, it should be a requirement for any IT graduate to do this for at least a year IMHO.

        However any lesson learned depend on whether or not the programmer actually cares about his legacy to others. I am sure that this shower of shits in government at the moment care only about themselves.

        I hope the incoming government publish all of the stuff they find that this lot would prefer to keep hidden, and then we will see the true magnitude of their mendacity.

    • 351
      Quackers says:

      Wasn’t CEH by any chance – the similarities are too great to be by chance ;)

    • 439
      Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

      This gives Dave a heaven-sent chance to change the face of politics. He could:-

      - take the nation into his confidence, telling us the facts of his inheritance;

      - explaining what the options are (a pretty short list on most fronts);

      - say ‘this is too big for the govt to make assumptions about’ and put the options to a referendum;

      - do whatever the referendum dictates, emphatically not twisting the results to fit party dogma;

      - give us a regular (monthly?) update on how he’s doing, telling the truth and admitting to errors;

      - eliminating the culture of evasion, cover-up and party advantage (the Tories have not been immune to their seductive delights, they’ve just had fewer opportunities to indulge in them);

      - play it straight with us all the time and ruthlessly and immediately sack anyone who doesn’t.

      It’s risky, but it’s the only formula that stands a chance of getting him a second term (‘it’s been hell under the Tories, but at least we know why, we had a say in the remedy and he’s straight with us – daren’t vote Labour ‘cos we’ll be back where we were with those constant lies’).

      • 445
        Feduptothebackteeth says:

        Very risky but worth trying. It would make a clean break from the public perception that all polititions are lying hoons.

        It would also address the liebour propaganda machine, which will be about the only thing they will have left, and will be running at full pelt trying to do the new government what it did to the one of John Major – and continued to do during the interviening years. And sod all else.

    • 444
      Feduptothebackteeth says:

      As a SW engineer of 25 years – and STILL working but without a pension pot to speak of thanks the Gord-the-hoon, I can vouch for that one, it’s no fun and you get few plaudits for doing it.

      Which job would I rather have – mine. Dave and co are going to crap their pants when they see just how bad the public finances are. After all, we are in uncharted water here. Normally a liebour government blow-up after less than 2 terms and leave the country in a mess, this one got given 3, that’s why we are utterly utterly fucked.

  71. 249

    [...] Guido Fawkes really ought to learn some decent Photoshop skills, or employ someone to illustrate for him, the opportunities presenting themselves these days are too good to miss, it will indeed be a summer of fun. [...]

  72. 256
    Curly says:

    Sign the petition, find the poor bugger a new home!

  73. 259
    Miss Lashley says:

    The funny thing is, though, as any true tory knows, at a fundamental level, there is no discernible difference between Cameron’s feather pillow party and Labour.

    Real tories want change. Not a Labour Party with different faces.

    • 440
      Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

      Have you read this (it’s one of Guido’s links at the top RHS of this page)?

      Tory New Intake Will Be Tories – Times

      It seems to say Dave will have no option but to move rightwards as his PPCs are predominantly non-green, non-lefty; once elected, they’ll sort him out. I just hope that they don’t all go after some bonkers dogma like they did under Maggie.

  74. 260
    Don King says:

    Can I state the obvious:

    The playground bully (bong-eyed-Broon) has lost his henchmen and attack dogs.

    Now all those who were attacked and who feared him can see the wounded little feckless koont for what his is.

    Now is the SUMMER OF SLAUGHTER. Brown is getting ripped apart, he has no protection anymore. I hope it is long and painful and that the fucking bastard ends up having a stroke ! :)

  75. 263
    It's been a bad, bad, bad week says:

    Heard Blind Pew on R4 Today this morning trying to persuade (and failing – even Humphreys put the boot in) that none of this is Gordon’s fault as he is preoccupied with serious “world events”. Give us a break from this twat and his cohort of thieves. Who bought a first-class rail ticket for his but of fluff and thought he could just charge to taxpayers. Oversight? Misunderstanding? My arse.

    As a disillusioned Labour supporter this lot deserve all the crap they get. Aim at the liars at the top.

    • 395
      troglodyte says:

      Some brave soul needs to send Brown the “black spot”. It never fails.

  76. 267
    Blake's7 says:

    Looks like Labours BBC is in full shut down spin mode, after yesterdays shameful display by toenails/ankles the HYS is now off.

    “We are having serious technical problems with the usual Have Your Say service which our engineers are working to fix.

    In the meantime we are using the form on the right to ask for your comments. We will aim to publish as many of your views as we can.

    We apologise for any inconvenience. ”

    Hoons

    • 283
      Odds Bodkins says:

      BBC in Labour Damage Limitation Mode!

      Full Pelt!

      • 303
        Hugo Chaves says:

        yes, during the next 12 months ankles will be re-born

      • 338
        Right Bastard says:

        When they finally drag him out of Brown’s arse he’ll be covered in shite, and the biggest turd of all sat on his bald head like a grotesque syrup with the front shaped into a quiff.

    • 323
      The big D says:

      Time for a rename, British Ministry of Truth.

  77. 271
    pissed off voter says:

    I checked my TV network info yesterday evening. It said Harman was the ‘Labour’ guest. Was she afraid to play with the boys or just too embarrassed by the day’s events?

    • 294
      Anonymous says:

      The BBC is quietly ignoring the fact that she chickened out because she’d been humiliated in parliament that day, and the BBC news uk politics frontpage instead takes the piss out of lansley for being slightly late (technically, actually, he was 2 minutes early)

    • 305
      Anonymous says:

      I think the BBC might even have cancelled her appearance themselves, and insisted on a more pro-gordon labour guest instead, because the BBC knew that Harman would probably imply that Gordon was a raving loony moron.

      Hence why Benn magically appeared as the labour guest who constantly banged on about how fantastically Brown had dealt with both the Gurkha issue and the expenses issue.

      Mind you, even Dimbleby got annoyed in the end with the sycophantic wanker not answering the question.

      The BBC’s rent-a-labour-mob crowd which made up the audience was on form as usual.

      I assume that when you apply to be in the audience they ask:

      “will you clap mindlessly and wildly at any anti-tory remark which anyone makes regardless of what you think yourself, and ignore any anti-labour remarks in deathly cold silence?” (if yes, you’re in)

      • 360
        Mary Hinge says:

        Where do they find all the brown people the audience is usually stuffed with? Are they brought in by bus?

      • 441
        Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

        #360 Mary Hinge

        Funny, isn’t it, how ethnic minorities make up 8 per cent of the population, yet form about 20 per cent of the faces in any public-sector brochure.

        I don’t think the Beeb have quite got to 20 per cent yet, but they’re obviously trying hard. (‘Hideously white’ – you heard it there first. Can you imagine the furore if I walked into a meeting of my local Race Forum and said the people were hideously black?)

      • 457
        John Bullock says:

        I still can’t understand why we can have a Black Lawyers Association, a Black Police Officers Association and so on.

        You try setting up a White Lawyers Association etc. You’re Nicked Sonny !

        Isn’t that discrimination ?

      • 458
        Sam says:

        I went to the website a few days ago as I quite fancied going to the forthcoming QT which is in East Anglia. You should all go take a look – you have to tell them EVERYTHING about yourself, inc your race, education, how you vote, your attitude to the Iraq war etc etc etc. They obviously pick people according to a formula… It would have been easy enough to tell them what they wanted to hear

        I didn’t fill in the form as I didn’t fancy answering all the questions, even untruthfully. Such things are none of their business. I dare say 90% of normal people feel like that, which is no doubt why their audiences are so unrepresentative

    • 318
      It doesn't add up... says:

      MEanwhile, this morning BBC choose to report that Andrew Lansley was late for his QT appearance, and nearly forfeited it altogether as the most important story about QT:

      http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8028031.stm

  78. 282
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Here are a couple of links of topics frequently referred to above,

    Brown refusing to face reality

    Benn gets stuffed on Question time FFW to 17 minutes

    • 295
      Mrs Trellis says:

      It is VERY noticeable how the BBC and Sky have turned on Labour.

      Dimbleby’s astonishing attack on Benn last night (hugely enjoyable and totally justified) would have been unthinkable even a few weeks ago.

      Perhaps it’s the knowledge that McPoison isn’t around to dish the dirt any more and that we will all have new political masters very soon.

      • 366
        Anonymous says:

        When you take away the power of a bully by laughing at him and ignoring him for being a blithering idiotic loony, there’s always a refreshing air of freedom prevalent in the resulting ether.

        Now that McBride’s gone and Brown can’t get away with such bullying anymore, there’s no longer any real threat that Brown/Labour can make to people, because nobody will believe what Brown/Labour say now.

        Brown/Labour are now totally emasculated; all power/authority gone, and it’s very nice to see the occasional BBC reporter starting to report some of the truth.

        I don’t think it’ll continue for very long at the BBC though; it won’t be long before their directors realise that by telling the truth they’ll be increasing the chances of having their license fee taken away in 2010 because they’ll be inadvertantly bolstering the tories.

        It’s an odd situation for the BBC; if they tell the truth then people will be more inclined to pay their license fee, but they’re also more likely to end up with a tory government that’ll reduce or bin the license fee.

        If I was a BBC director I’d be in a bit of a quandry right now; tell the truth and regain the respect of the license-fee payers, or continue to lie to try and make sure labour get in again and keep the license fee.

        At the moment there’s the occasional sporadic truth coming out of one or 2 BBC journalists’ reporting, but I think that’s just a blip; they’ll be silenced soon by their masters, besides which those minor sporadic truths are even now drowned out by the overall pro-labour spin that the rest of the BBC journalists/editors are still using everywhere they can.

      • 448
        Feduptothebackteeth says:

        Bring back Gillligan

  79. 285
    pissed off voter says:

    Topped 38,000. Time to say goodbye.

  80. 298
  81. 299
  82. 300
    Dr Feelgood says:

    As it’s May 1 we should also remember the tens of millions who have died as a result of socialism-communism, and the hundreds of millions who’s lives were, and continue to be, wrecked as a result of its doctrines.

  83. 302
    Jackanory says:

    …….Mandelson conceded: “It is indeed turning into a bit of a week. It never rains but it pours, it seems.”……

    He talks as though he is not part of it! The tosser is one of the biggest offenders!

    • 314
      Anonymous says:

      Mandy’s behind everything in NuLab – as well as a few Brazilians.

    • 324
      Anonymous says:

      He really isn’t a part of it.
      Mandy is in the HoL and is big enough to shrug off most of the stuff thrown at him (depending on who is doing the throwing; are you listening G Orsborne?).
      He knows McDoom doesn’t listen and he knows that Brown Labour is sinking.
      Above all Mandy is not deluded – irrational, like McMad – he can feel the piranha of reality biting on his toes.
      Mandy is working away building lifeboats so that ‘The Project’ won’t disappear along with the Prime Incompetent.

  84. 315
    TAG Henderson says:

    When I was at Prep School we didn’t get May Day off and the teachers smoked in lessons.

    Ah, heady days.

    • 359
      Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      Hi Tag, how’s your Dad ?
      Same in correction school, we didn’t have any apples but used to give rollups to our fave teachers.

  85. 319
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    There’s many a slip twixt cup and lip….
    Easter weekend was the tipping point when the New Liar project was finally exposed for what it is and a swathe of the population bemused by what was going on in the UK finally woke up to the fact that we were being governed by a crowd of not only incompetant fools but also with a very very sinister side too.
    This and the meltdown panic that has engulfed the New liars since is now reflected in the opinion polls.
    This is no time for complancency or self congratulation.
    It’s time to ensure that we bury this plague that has been visited upon us for the past 10 years in a lead lined coffin.
    Nu Liar as a party is on dying from a shitstorm of it’s own making, Nu Liar as a project is discredited and has been found out to be a sinster mix of lies,spin and control freakery imposing the most repressive measures on the UK population imaginable. Time for change and a complete reversal.
    They and he will not go without a fight, and will kick and scream all the way.
    The coup de grace needs to be delivered – DC,NC and chums please note.

    • 334
      The big D says:

      Maybe not a tipping point. These problems have always existed, now they have grown to a size impossible to ignore. They haven’t finished growing yet.

  86. 328
    Labour Victory Please says:

    I am considering voting Labour.

    To punish all those people who voted for Blair back in 87, So that they know the full consequences of their actions. Labour has taken so much from me that vengeance is all I have left

    • 350
      Anonymous says:

      They are getting their punishment now.
      Lost jobs, savings, pensions, children’s futures – all blown away.
      Save your fire for the Labour MPs.
      They are going to be unemployed come 2010 – and the good news is that they are unemployable

      • 423

        It’s the rest of us who arre punished. The Labour vermin will still be in state or media or quango employment, or have troughed fortunes enough to be comfortable. Being unemployable is what has turned them into parasites running the state to ruin real people.

      • 456
        Barrett Bonden says:

        they will be sent off to the Lords or the EU to carry on fleecing us
        If not there, then there are plenty of Quangos to fill

        Disembowelling is too good for them.
        God forgive us but it does make one feel a terrible violence

    • 467
      Aethelred says:

      Voting for Blair back in 1997 was understandable (not that I did).

      Voting for Blair a second time, after he had lied to us to take the country to war in Iraq was the truly stupid and unforgiveable thing.

      Take your vengeance by working to become successful in your own terms, whatever they may be, and by not letting a single lefty bit of propaganda go unchallenged. The best thing you can do is be free, that’s what they really hate.
      Born to Die, Live to Win.

  87. 333
    Miss Lashley says:

    Oh please! All this excitement and enthusiasm for Marshmallow Dave and his fags.

    As if his kind of new, new labour government is going to make the slightest difference.

    I’ve had clients less supine.

    • 335
      The big D says:

      None of the existing parties will make any difference.

    • 356
      Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      You a nail technician, miss ?
      If so, is Toenails one of your “clients” ?

    • 466
      Ben Dover says:

      Contempt for you lefty twats is not the same thing as enthusiasm for tories.
      Fuck off back to Tuscany and fight your 1970s class war there.

  88. 341
    The big D says:

    Wonderful doublespeak paragraph at the end of the BBC (BMT) polls article on their UK Politics page.

    “The Conservatives said the 50p tax rate marked the death knell of New Labour. Business Secretary Lord Mandelson denied that and urged voters to judge the decisions taken in the Budget in a year’s time.”

    DO we judge the recent budget in 12 monthe time or the budget that will be revealed in 12 months time?

    • 353
      Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

      He’s not the Prince of Darkness for nuffin, ya know.
      Nah, what’s another 12 months anyway, lets just judge them on what they have done over 12 YEARS.
      OK Pete ?

  89. 354
    fucdifino says:

    They really are vindictive bastards.
    “Allowing more Gurkha veterans to settle in Britain could force the Government to make cuts in the defence budget, a minister has claimed.”
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5252292/Allowing-more-Gurkha-veterans-to-stay-could-hit-defence-budget-claims-minister.html

    • 372
      Groucho says:

      Nicely skipping over the issue that the amounts involved are trivial compared to the squintillion pounds Labour has just pissed up the wall.

      They just don’t get it do they? Brown’s failure to grasp the respect that the public has for the Gurkhas was bad enough, but the moron simply does not know when to stop digging.

      • 376
        Anonymous says:

        I see the spirit of McBride lingers on.

        Briefing against the new target.

        The Brown Bunker really is full of slime.

    • 382
      Dr Feelgood says:

      The slimey despicable twats – I thought they would do something like this, but at least several months in the future.

  90. 355
    Father Jack says:

    Anyone seen our dear leaders interview on sky news at 11am today about ‘flu. Looks like the image consultants have been at work again and he’s trying to smile and move his eyebrows while talking at the same time – it looks really weird.
    Seems they’ve told him to knock off that funny swallow/yawn thing he does too – so hes sort of half doing it at the same time as well – presumably he thinks his image is the problem and that’ll help…..

    • 367
      Anonymous says:

      the ’swallow yawn thing’ ? Do you mean the Jaw-drop-gulp bit? If they have got rid of that they must be using drugs ‘cos he was running through his repertoire of facial tics Y/day during his ‘Victory Lap’ of the TV studios and that one appeared at the end of every sentence (and sometimes in the middle)

      • 375
        Anonymous says:

        I’m sure somebody could run a book on that. “Place yer bets Laydees an Gennelmaan!”

    • 371
      Anonymous says:

      The operator of the broom handle up his (The Leader’s) arse must be day off.

  91. 357
    Anonymous says:

    The electoral commission has just released its findings about the massive amount of voter fraud that’s been perpetrated recently (although for some reason they see it as “reassuring”)

    The weird thing is that they list the number of cases in detail, and where each case stems from geographically, but they don’t have a per-party breakdown.

    Has anyone done a cross-check to see how many of those cases involve labour compared to tories?

    The BBC is obviously singling out the 1 tory case of fraud that they could spot, but oddly they don’t mention any of the labour cases in detail or explain how many of the offences were against labour.

    • 368
      Agent 99 says:

      If the BBC can only fins one case against the Tories then by default all the other ones they don’t mention are all Labour.

      The BBC really needs to be fumigated at the next election.

      • 399
        Can't Kukri, Won't Kukri says:

        C4 is now the only mainstream news organisation doing a quarter-decent job. Lots of good stuff on their site about Big Mac’s Gurkha McLies.
        Fuck the Ministry of Truth, fuck One-eyeball McLecter.
        Hockey mask for all future interviews? Journalists’ health and safety matters too.

      • 455
        Barrett Bonden says:

        And absolutely NO ‘Honours’ or Lords for the lickspittles

    • 438
      Elby The Beserk says:

      Gissa link then

  92. 361
    Anonymous says:

    Well, natch!
    It’s yer Brown Broadcasting Corporation innit!

  93. 362

    [...] This post was Twitted by Padbrit – Real-url.org [...]

  94. 365
    The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

    Anon 11;14
    Let me guess
    These areas may include places such as Bolton, Blackburn , Bradford and Karachi?

  95. 386
    Dr Feelgood says:

    It’s a very happy May 1 for labour

    Ken Livingstone – Brown “doomed”
    http://waugh.standard.co.uk/2009/05/ken-livingstone-brown-doomed.html

    Clarke ‘ashamed’ to be Labour MP
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8028170.stm

  96. 389
    Anonymous says:

    Clarke ‘ashamed’ to be Labour MP

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8028170.stm

  97. 392
    Gordo (Mad Jock McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition) Broon says:

    Job Position: Statesman Required (apply within)

    One way or another, this administration is finished.
    The easy part – so difficult for so long – will be to finally put both it and McMental himself to the sword.

    After which we’ll need vision, statesmanship and national support of the electorate to accept the very hard decisions that need to be made.
    That’s the difficult part.

    I don’t know if Cameron has it, but I’m sure there is a far greater chance with him than with anyone else I see upon the present front benches (or even the back benches, with the possible exception of Frank Field, whom I believe the Conservatives ought to be wooing right now).

    Cameron deserves and needs to be given that chance – Churchill himself was not a popular choice and very few could have predicted his success and massive leadership potential. After the conflict he was discarded, remember !

    We all need a statesman, a team player, a leader and someone with a moral compass. How many of these attributes does our present leader have ?

  98. 397
    B Griffiths says:

    Term Report 2009 Gordon Brown
    Tutors comments

    Biology – Needs improvement. Must learn to differentiate his arse from his elbow = C

    Chemistry – Are you kidding? Like we’d let this loony loose with chemicals = U

    Drama Studies – Absolutely adorable, darling. His portrayal as The Jerk was a stunning triumph
    – just couldn’t miss. It’s to die for, luvie = A

    English – Unsatisfactory. But exhibits a breathtaking flair for fiction = B–

    Geography – Won’t go back to Crewe and Nantwich in a hurry. East Glasgow remains a mystery. Enjoys travelling abroad, but finds the natives unwelcoming = C-

    History – Gordon shows no sign of having an interest in what has gone before. Woeful on the Ghurkhas. Believes all historical disasters began in America = D

    Mathematics – Gordon’s weakest subject, he is singularly unsuccessful. Has difficulty in distinguishing millions from billions = U

    Media Studies – Gordon’s attempts at comedy attempt on YouTube proved successful. Shows promise for his grinning monkey performance = B+

    Physical Education – Gordon has disappointed. Shows no interest in teamwork = C-

    Religious Education – Very disturbing. The son of the Manse appears to have taken on himself the role of the Almighty = D-

    Social Skills – Gordon had made many new friends at the beginning of this term. Sadly he has lost the blooming lot = F
    General Attitude – Gordon and his gang, Damien McBride, Derek Draper and Ed Balls has become a disruptive influence upon the class, he is mocked by former friends and ignored by others. He has a temper (threw his Nokia phone and the class laser printer on the floor), does not take criticism and refuses to listen. Has a tendency to steal pocket money off others then immediately spend it. He’s been a very naughty boy. Thankfully he will be leaving school at the end of this term.

    • 459
      Arfer Mo says:

      As the Rector of The East Kilbride Academy for Further Menstruation, I will be pleased to accept Gordon Brown as a resident pupil. I have no objection to him being accompanied by his old flatmate, Charlie Falconer, or his latest “friend” Lord Mandybendown. We would hope to teach him right from wrong, good from bad,
      Up from down, in from out, truth from lies and so on.
      We only use corporal punishment on request, and we get a lot of those !
      So, send him here, once you’ve cleaned up his dribbling and given him a good seeing to, although…….

  99. 403
    Miss Lashley says:

    I’ve found that tory bottoms pink up more quickly than labour ones. This may be because they tend to be fleshier…a result of being sat on for so long as they fantasise about Tony Blair and dream up ways of being nice to terrorist suspects.

    Labour bottoms are no doubt leaner due to the marching they undertake when calling for massively increased immigration and further integration into the EU.

    I’ve no experience of lib dem posteriors, but I’d expect them to be spotty.

  100. 433

    Bob Marshall-Andrews – a spineless good-for-nothing said: “All my colleagues think so too. For the first time in my life I’ve seen them united. They are united in despair.”

    Tough- welcome to our world you worthless, mealy-mouthed, pocket-lining ******* sons of *******.

  101. 437
    Anonymous says:

    Waiting for Brown to have a ‘put up or shut up’ moment, then the comparisons with John Major would be more apt. It would even bring Brown somewhere nearer being 10% of the man Major is.

    • 446
      Dave says:

      No we have to have:-

      We are learning & listening next.

    • 453
      Barrett Bonden says:

      As someone has just written in the Telegraph – Charles Moore iirc – even when Major and Ken Clarke knew they were going to lose the forthcoming election to Blair and Brown, they continued to work hard to get the nation’s finances back on a sound basis after the ERM fiasco, and largely succeeded.

      This lot of hoons in contrast have gone for the scorched earth policy – so long as they make it as hard as possible for the Tories, they can’t give a stuff on the consequences for the voters.

      “Apres Moi le Deluge” indeed

  102. 449
    Lord Cholmondleigh Sidewinder says:

    Labour MP Eric Martlew is to stand down at the next general election, after more than 22 years in Parliament.

    The Carlisle MP said “it is time to step down from front-line politics”.

    Mr Martlew, 60, said the Labour Party was in “good shape” and there would be no let-up in his workload or efforts while he was still MP.

  103. 450
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t want a leadership election I want a general election. But I agree – a Charle Clarke challenge might be fun to watch. A summer of fun indeed.

  104. 451
    smell the glove says:

    surely the only person who would be able to make broon fall on his sword, is that big fat bird who’s always standing behind him.

  105. 452
    Barrett Bonden says:

    Meanwhile it’s left to French fishermen to demonstrate on behalf of our own, who have been dispossessed, bankrupted, and jailed by our own authorities, acting on behalf of the EU, see http://tinyurl.com/d455g2

    And as usual there is a complete blackout in the media, esp the BBC
    This affair should have been front page news!

  106. 462
    Arfer Mo says:

    So that’s April out of the way. I think I detect a Spring in Gordo’s steps.

    I think he is definitely losing the plot ‘cos I heard him ask someone where he could buy a secondhand Gurkha uniform ! And I don’t think it was for Sarah.
    I don’t think he can stand many more brickbats, it really must be time for the private ambulance and men in white coats to turn up (at the back door of course). Trouble is I’m not so sure that Call Me Dave is quite ready for the job. I think that man Pickles with the two chins could hold the fort temporarily.
    Other suggestions on a postcard please.

  107. 465
    Aethelred says:

    The nulabour MPs may admit to each other that Gordon has to go, but they are all just to fucking spineless to actually do anything about it.

    They will continue raking in their ill-gotton expenses, upon which they pay no taxes, and continue to buy their second homes.

    To all of them I say – Get a fucking backbone and get rid of Brown for the sake of our country.

  108. 475
    tessoftheblogurvilles says:

    where is jimmy young?







Nick Clegg said…

“Charlie Whelan and Lord Ashcroft are exactly the same. One is the baron of the trade unions, and the other one is the baron of Belize. Both are bankrolling political parties, both are trying to buy seats.”



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As of 26 Feb 2010
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As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%

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