Sion Simon Does It Again
He has now Tweeted:
Earlier I repeated a joke that was in poor taste, which I now regret. I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress or embarrassment caused.
That will win votes won’t it? Insult the popular and much loved sensation of the moment. His skills with video satire and political forecasting have been remarked on before. He is best mates with Tom Watson, the Minister for Digital Engagement and Mudslinging. It was Tom who encouraged Labour MPs to twitter. When comes to twattishness, none can surpass Sion.
What a twat… if a Tory had done this, NuLabour would be bleating about it all over the place.
Hoon of the day!
Horray! One more hoon to add to the pyre…
Who else thinks that HINGFY could be interesting tomorrow night? ;-)
I am a big fat spastic.
Er, this is the Big Fat Spastic site, isn’t it?
Oh fuck, I’ve done it again!
If only I wasn’t such a fucking lardy-arsed wanker (with an addiction to alcohol) things might have turned out so very differently.
But while I’m sharing with the group; just lately I have found it difficult to sleep, I have nightmares about being chased. I dream I am too fat and unfit to outun the lynch mob. The head of the lynch mob is holding a coil of rope in one hand which he keeps pointing at me. In his other hand he is waving a piece of paper upon which there are five words:
SUBJECT – FALSE EXPENSE CLAIMS – SIMON
Ps. To tell you the truth, I’m a dishonest piece of shit. I should not be left without adult supervision because I am such a fucking idiot.
I should certainly not be holding office. No fucking way.
I’m a total dick!
Excuse me, I was first on this twat today :-)
The Penguin
What a berk this man is, how the fuck did he get to be a minister, the man is as thick as 10 planks of wood, if not more.
Exactly why he is a minister in the government of all the Hoons.
Long live scum Liebour
Long live McSnooty the Hoon
My response to that answer would be a banana and a bag of nuts.
13 actually
Just hauling my jaw off the floor here….
I find myself profoundly disturbed that this Government can’t even find a person who can be slick and refuses to answer the question, but have to settle for someone who is rubbish at communicating and incoherent about ‘achievements’. Has the Politico-Lite factory closed down?
Who were the audience who were not laughing this man out of the room?
Satire died the day Sion Simon was made ‘Skills Minister’.
God Help us. A Minister of the Crown. Inarticulate, hesitant, obvious not a clue about his portfolio. With regard to his comments about Susan Boyle, that is totally unacceptable. Wonder how he would like it if he was called “boil face”.
…unbelievable… is it part of the protection of Brown’s incompetence to surround himself with such incoherence of thought and speech? This guy wouldn’t last 5 seconds in front of Mr Amstrad, less so trying to flog widgets to any small business owner. But hey, come the day, great material for a political broadcast inclusion by any opposition party.
The video should be force fed 24 hours a day to every tard that voted labour last time round.
He was picked to write for the Torygraph in ‘97 because he was so much an insider – and that was in turn because he would slavishly follow the Party line, being – like all NuLab types – dedicated to furthering his career rather than his principles.
The man is a complete and utter hoon – but you only have to look at him to see that.
It’s a NuLab type: overfed, over-beered, and over here.
Gross in face, body and lack of any discernible character.
Yuck.
Swine flu: there’s so many fat snouts jammed in the Parliamentary trough how come the scumbags aren’t keeling over en mass…
Nearly as big a twat as his so called leader. Trouble is the real joke is on all of us. Well those who voted Labour!
He’s a complete knobhead
Stupid tweet.
The above quote is by Nick Robinson about Brownhoon losing his authority.
sightly off topic, but i hope no-one minds…..after the gurkha debacle i tho8ght we could keep up the petition fun levels…
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/smithshame/
I hate Sion Simon. I remember reading his Sun diary at the time Murdoch crossed over to Labour. So desperate were they to find some semi literate lefty to write for them they happened upon Sion Simon. His diary was the most solid an example of hate and bitterness ever seen outside of Socialist Worker or the BNP.
Giving him any Ministerial jobs shows how low ZanuNuLab have sunk. He is and always will be a disgusting individual, who if he does not lose his seat, I would be surprised. What has happened to the lefties in the Midlands? How come they have not deselected him. Don’t they remember him being a Murdoch man? Isn’t that a crime in Labour anymore?
The good thing is that the petition demanding that the Prime Useless One resigns is now number one on the Downing Street Website.
Not bad for a few days old petition.
hareperson making a hoon of herself on bbc parliment
It is all going terribly wrong.
Where is McBride when you need him?
Standing at Highway Corner drinking a can of Stella?
I am all for bad taste jokes from any quarter, no problem there.
However they have to show intelligence and wit, also have some degree of truth.
He’s a young prince strutting on the parade ground, he can never be killed. Pushkin, innit.
I am really glad this fat bastard is going blind. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Has he got acromegaly at all, too? He sure seems to have a lot of the symptoms:
“Soft tissue swelling of the hands and feet is often an early feature, with patients noticing a change in ring or shoe size. Gradually, bony changes alter the patient’s facial features: the brow and lower jaw protrude, the nasal bone enlarges, and spacing of the teeth increases….Other symptoms of acromegaly include thick, coarse, oily skin; skin tags; enlarged lips, nose and tongue; deepening of the voice due to enlarged sinuses and vocal cords; snoring due to upper airway obstruction; excessive sweating and skin odor; fatigue and weakness; headaches; impaired vision; abnormalities of the menstrual cycle and sometimes breast discharge in women; and impotence in men.”
http://www.medic8.com/endocrine-disorders/acromegaly.htm
Then again, a lot of that could describe any male Labour MP, such as Yvette Cooper (who has almost certainly fellated Ed Balls).
I guess the change in ring size could be down to Lord Mandelson.
“… breast discharge in women”
I knew it! Yvette Cooper is a failed fembot!
Gordon Brown picks his nose. Ever since seeing that I have felt unwell. This must be connected.
Where are Adrian Chiles and Jo Brand?
Those fat lefty whinging fuckwits would have been bleating 24 hours a day if a tory MP had been implicated.
And where are the BBC?
What a fucking state our country is in.
It’s the utter hypocrisy of the fucking PC lefties who are keeping their fucking mouths shut about this nulab hoon that I really despise.
They were all over Carol Thatcher, for much less.
This idiot needs to be sacked. I doubt the gene pool of even the Labour ranks could sink much lower than this one.
They’ve found the source of swine flu: it’s apple.
A friend has had swine flu. He’s ok now: he’s cured.
There are new variants too.
Air crews are being struck down about 48 hours after long flights with swine flew.
And chimney sweeps are catching swine flue.
When my son heard my wife and I weren’t feeling very well, he wanted to trot us off to the doctor.
When we got there, our doctor had put up a handwritten notice about swine flu on the surgery door but I could hardly read it: it was a very porcine.
You got him in the right area…Twat Watch. He’s about as tasteful as a mouthful of shit.
You make that sound like a bad thing.
First????
Simon can’t help himself, can he?
I think he’s trying to be cool and edgy, but fails abysmally.
Bugger, missed first!
*makes a note to get out more*
Cool and edgy?
Somone should inform this unwashed little turd that he is a politico,not Tyler Durden.
Which brainbox in the bunker thought that it would be a good idea to let a greasy oik suffering from mild gigantism anywhere near the web,let alone a TV station?
Mandy really has given up hasnt he.
what a thick ignorant twat that bloke is. He’s not even fucking funny in a calamatous buffoon kind of way. He’s just an embarrasing tool.
Twattering! It’s for twats.
…and simple simon
The biggest joke about swine flu is Gordon Brown’s claim that Britain is the best prepared country in the world. Haven’t we heard that somewhere before?
Thats what struck me when he first said it. Surely he couldn’t be that stupid again.
Best prepared to get it or resist it? well you have to ask these days
The swine flu that started in America?
It’s a global problem
Actually started in HoC, too many swine troughing together
Brown has made this country one of the best prepared because he’s arranged for all the workers to go home and thus prevent it spreading. Okay, he’s screwed the economy forcing all the workers to be redundant, but that means they won’t be able to make all their workmates ill when they catch swine flu…
Our Public Servants will be more seriously affected than the private sector.
You aint kidding there! Any excuse for a civil servant to pull a sickie! OK, that
may sound harsh but I have to work with them (major Gov’t estate) and all
they do is whinge and whine about their job, pay and conditions! If they ain’t
friggin’ happy in the job thyen piss off and let someone that would enjoy it do it!
Ok Rant over!
only coz there is more off em’
If you are a tequila swilling pig-fucker, then wear a condom. Otherwise, keep calm and carry on.
The Penguin
Evidently Gordon must have been a boy scout.
Look to see if he has the right badge: toilet roll and open-lid toilet.
Can’t see wot he’s done wrong. It’s just a joke, not a good joke but it’s only a joke.
We seem to have gone totally bonkers with pretend indignation in today’s Britain under Labour.
If you are going to tell a joke make it funny.
Dan Hannan nailed it recently with his ‘Churchill’ one.
And their is nothing ‘pretend’ about my indignation towards Sion.The boorish little twat is wasting my taxes as he attempts to perfect his third rate leicester square comedy abortion.
He claims his failing eye sight is not the result of over-indulgence in mutual masturbation with Andy Underpants Bryan.
The Penguin
It is not pretend indignation, it is politically incorrect indignation. That is the result of 12 years of Labour indoctrination. I agree with the bonkers bit though.
“Can’t see wot he’s done wrong.”
Really?
Who the fuck is he?
Exactly.
Sadly he’s a fully paid up memeber of our ruling ‘elite’ and represents new Labour perfectly.
A c@@t of the highest order.
and takes the Queen’s shilling as a Minister in Mcsnot’s misgovernment, difficult to make it up but there we are. Thanks Scotland some of your sons…..
Exactly.
Do I have to take any notice of someone whose both names remind me of Palestine?
His name’s Siôn, not Sion. Get a grip!
ok
how the fuck do you pronounce it then or do we just use the collective ‘hoon’
‘Shawn,’ like Sean
One thing about these NuLab guys, with the exception of Mandy, they obviously don’t follow the Health Minister’s advice on diet LOL. What a gross greasy myopic bunch of horrors
When you employ idiots to run the country, they can only demonstrate idiocy. Hopefully, for our sake, the muppet show will be over soon.
Lovely quote from The Man of Straw at the end of this article:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/swine-flu/5248195/Sion-Simon-MP-on-Twitter-Susan-Boyle-caused-swine-flu.html
“We have to ensure that political discourse is at a reasonable high level that avoids personal attacks.”
That captures with how much regard Straw is held in the Labour Party!
I also love the fact that under the story I get a google advert to do with hotels at McBride.com!!!!!
Hang on a minute Guido, he’s only taking the piss out of someone…
While he may be a twat – I’m sure he is – I don’t want to live in a country where everybody has to be nice to everybody else all the fucking time.
I know it highlights his lack of political skills – as Gordon’s youtube farce does – but it’d be nice if being an android *wasn’t* considered a political skill
BTW, I think Gordon is going….
You make a very fair point. However this is Sion Simon and any excuse to give him a kicking is to be taken.
Very fair point
However this is Sion Simon and any excuse to give him a kicking is to be taken.
This is also a fair point.
So, perhaps the consensus should be that although he has the right to take the piss out of people, this is greatly outweighed by the fact that he is Sion Simon and a card-carrying twat?
Not only is he a twat, he is an arrogant twat.
http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/04/vote-labour-we-guarantee-we-are.html
Wanka
That’s enough for me
That’s a familiar feeling
I’d never heard of this guy before. Having watched that Sky News interview in which he tells the host to ’shut up and let me finish’, among other things, I can say with confidence that he is a grade 1 wankstain on humanity.
Boot the living fuck out of him.
He looks and sounds a bit like Claire Short…
Why do you need an excuse? Sion Simon is one of those people that the police in their G20 excuse claimed “occasionally need to be beaten up”.
Just looking at that Hoon makes my fists start itching.
No quarrel with that.In fact, it is obligatory
A kicking? A fucking kicking? What are you on?
Piano wire more likely for hoons like him.
Fuck me, that Sky vid was disturbing. He’s more repulsive than Dolly!
He really does have a nasty face – it’s hard, full of malice, closed: revealing a way he has no idea of! It’s extraordinary how he he’s changed his image from the days when he was the Torygrpah’s resident ‘NuLab’ insider/informer (a post he relinquished when he was elected to parliament, in the 2nd NuLab election).
In those days he was fatter, with very short hair and black-rimmed specs
He’s even more scary now, with that juttingly agressive jaw, that mean little mouth, and the mad barnet. God that Sky clip is chilling. What a hoon
He’s so scary he’s sent my typo-count into overdrive
If he were my MP I’d stick a Joanna in him
Excellent!
Don’t feel constrained, he’s a moving and available target – take aim
Top tips.
1. At least be funny about it.
2. If people complain don’t buckle and apologise.
Did he make these comments during his leisure time or during working hours when he was taking money from the public purse ?
Should we be paying him to make unprovoked personal attacks on those who pay his wages ?
If not, tell him to put it on expenses.
How do you know it was unprovoked?
Apprentice Baiter. It was. The onus is on the twat to prove it wasn’t.
Don’t start on that again.
Exactly. Not only is he being paid by the taxpayer, but politicians should not be gratuitously insulting people outside politics or other serious areas of life. My own view is that popular entertainment is not serious, so unless a celebrity from that world expresses an opinion, or acts in a manner that a politician objects to, politicians should refrain from comment. Politicians ought to act in a manner that is beyond reproach, rather than behaving in a way that the rest of us may or may not be able to get away with. And remember, TB set the standard at least that high, by saying not only that Labour ought to be purer than pure, but that they actually would be.
Also, as a general principle (and I do not say whether it applies in this case) if somebody was initially mocked and jeered, a Labour MP of all people ought to be unreservedly on that person’s side.
“How do you know it was unprovoked?”
What? Has she been round and called him a wanker or something. You feckin retard!
An MP is a powerful entity, and he is a man and he is picking on an ordinary woman. In short, he is a bully.
He deserves a really thorough kicking.
And given the way he looks, you’d think he would think twice before making unpleasant mocking ‘jokes’ about someone so obviously challenged in the looks department as the poor virgin singer
But what is the point of expecting someone to know how to behave as an MP, who thinks the job of an MP is the re-election of his own party? Where do they find these people… Simon of course has never worked outside politics/the Labour party, or journalism connected with that.
Ironically, if he and his ilk *were* doing their job properly, their re-election would be a formality
As it is, their arrogance and ignorance is destorying the country, as well as the party they profess to love
Yeah but you don’t take the piss out of the ordinary citizens. If your a politician with a platform take this piss out of someone who can fight back otherwise your just an idiot
You should put Totaltwat’s “Just like you” ditty from YouTube here; It’s brilliant.
it’s here:
I can’t believe we’re paying for these idiots to represent us – better off employing a monkey from London Zoo – more intelligent, and no need for a second home and an expenses account
Why is he wearing a wig?
Nearly spat my coffee out when the picture of ‘Neil’ from the Young Ones appeared beside him!
people vote for this hoon?
We are far too PC these days. That’s why I like posting here. I can virtually say what I like!
or to be pedantic, you can virtually say virtually what you like
You missed a comma after ‘or’.
or, to be pedantic, you can virtually say virtually what you fucking well like
Hang on a minute, I started my sentence with a sub-clause (naughty I know) which negates the need for a comma. Perhaps one of you lefties who don’t have the benefit of an expensive education could enlighten me?
You mean a subordinate clause.
or santa claus
If we want to be particularly pedantic then we could also mention the lack of a capital letter and full stop too.
We need to investigate where’s Inspector Clauseau
Get the CIA in and waterboard the fucker. That’ll improve his grammar.
Brilliant exchange – thanks, chaps (ladies?): I guffawed.
You don’t get entertainment like this on Labourlist. Can’t imagine why.
I merely guffed.
This is very Labour. They know not what public feeling is for their actions nor their words.
Utter fuck-ups.
he must be off message then, because he’s apologised
They just don’t engage their brains though and are surprised with the reaction when they say or do something that is just “off”.
If they apologise it’s probably because they’ve been told to. Not because its right.
Compounded by the fact that Boyle is a Scot and almost certainly a Scot in a Labour seat. The Scots won’t like that. Taking the piss out of one of their own when there’s 55 million sassenach locusts they could be taking the piss out of.
Oh, actually, with this Labour government of occupation they are taking the piss. As you were.
The whole of the Nu Lab MPs are washed-up, complete loosers who have never had the ability necessary for the job. Most of them know it and have used their time in Parliament to line their own pockets. It was just a matter of time before it became exposed – and thanks are due from the electorate to the likes of Guido. Small wonder that all of them are now panic stricken and some of them are on suicide watch.
Apologise
and lose the “looser” you blithering idiot!
You must be another NuLabour twat.
People make typographical errors and once submitted there is no edit function.
Best you fuck off.
I want to watch them commit suicide
Polythene bags, oranges and tutus, no doubt.
Damn shame… Anyone know if we can reduce the national debt by buying tickets to the main event??
Oi, you talking about me ?
When comes to twattishness, none can surpass Sion.
Wong GF – the gotch-eyed twat out-twats all comers; even that twat Mandeltwat.
BTW concur wth #13 and #14
Charlie Brooker did a great job on Susan Boyle last night.
Did a good job on Guido Fawkes too.
Can you still see?
The Penguin
Blubber bird, oh fishy breath, oh ponging one, there is no need or reason to answer your comment.
But here it is.
Oh for ChuckleVision to start so we can get some effin peace round here!
It is on BBC iplayer. It was very good. Charlie Brooker is still a twat, but he is an entertaining twat that happens to be totally correct in most of what he says.
Brooker is an arse of the highest calibre.
Although Dead Set was quite good….
I’m not in the least bit offended but I think they left the funny out of that ‘joke’
Having reviewed Mr Simon’s YouTube ‘Webcameron’ farce and the current mirthless joke I can only conclude that he is a cock of the highest order.
No, more of a tiny-cock of the smallest order if the manner of his going out of his way to try to be funny and accepted is anything to go by. A serious case of inferiority complex masked by subliminal reactive narcissism, transference and nihilism.
All make up common traits of the archetype: TWAT!
This an unacceptable slur on cocks.
I happen to enjoy a close relationship with one, and can attest to the fact that it is useful and, from time to time, provides great pleasure to both myself and a certain lady.
None of that can be said of the Simon pillock.
(I’d demand that you withdraw, but that’s more Benedict the Umpteenth’s department than mine.)
Fecking twatty Hoon.
glad you had a good holiday ;)
VE AR VOTCHING YOO.
Nice holiday, but a nice surprise upon return, too. Our Home Office employers have given me £1,600 re my complaint.
But if they think beer money can buy me off, they are in for a shock . . . :)
Can he be booked for HIGNFY to balance out Alan Duncan.
Anyway, at last I have found a point in view in common with a Labourite. Susan Boyle is so effing hideous I have to turn off the TV when she comes on – couldn’t give a stuff how well she sings; ditto for Beth Ditto, Alison Moyet…
Just put a paper bag over the TV…………
Two paper bags would be better.
And now let us remember:
“Perhaps the magnitude of the moment we face is too great for us collectively to bear. Shortly there will be an election, in which Labour will increase its majority, and in so doing utterly shatter the glass paradigm of cyclical politics which has contained us for the century since 1906. This ought to herald another decade of strong, confident, consensual Labour government. Which will finally and irrevocably transform the nature of politics and civic life in Britain.”
S.S. September 2007
Thank fuck he’s not in charge of anything important, like matches or scissors.
One of the Incompetent Twattery who’s downfall on election night and consequent disappearance from public life will be of such little consequence; forgotten in a blink.
The very definition of a nebbish.
‘glass paradigm’? What is the prat whittering on about?
He’s wittering on about 8 glasses of Supermarket Merlot and one shitty spellchecker from the evidence.
I guess glass ceiling was what he originally thought about but then he’d be a girl; probably is.
‘glass paradigm’? What is the prat whittering on about?
I think its posh ‘lean too’ against a house with a ridge of pointy knobbly bits on
That would probably be a good passage for the Chaplain to read out, just before the Officer commanding the firing squad , orders ” take aim”.
This is one band of politicians that should not bank on obscurity when they are retired. Too much damage inflicted, too many people abused.
and too many crininal offences to be investigated.
Personally, given the parlous state of the Exchequer, my feeling is that when SS and his Brownholed ilk are soundly drummed out of office they should be seized by their constitutents who should impound all their worldly goods and place them in a special fund to help mitigate the debt the liebourite runts have foisted on the country.
Swine Flu Hotline 0800 345 0546
just tried to call it; couldn’t hear a thing – too much crackling on the line…
.
.
.
(was that also a joke too far? or even a joke at all? oh well, made me laugh….)
It is a joke, it is a bit funny, and it is already past it’s sell-by date. Ken Bruce used it this morning.
I should have said ‘tell-by date’
Oh, Lard! It made my laugh!
It made a younger colleague roll her eyes and shake her head. “That’s awful!” she said. Tcha! Kids, hey?:D
That’s you for the chop then….
We’re only scratching the surface
Thank goodness that no-one has linked swine flu to the late, great Jade Goody.
Skullduggery at the BBC
Newsonline’s political page at 11.30 had Toenail’s blog with a standfirst of (something like) “Gurkha vote proves Brown has lost authority” – changed by noon to “Has the PM lost the respect, fear and loyalty of his party?” Now, I happen to know that BBC hacks write their own headlines and stories into the CMS that sits behind newsonline – which means that Toenails originally submitted “Gurkha vote proves Brown has lost authority” and some fucker changed it…
If Gordon has lost Toenails, he has lost.
Whats’ the site that compares BBC edits? I can’t find the bugger…
you could try http://www.archive.org/index.php
Thanks but no, the wayback machine is too coarse – there’s a site that grabs copies of newsonline pages and highlights incremental differences on a minute by minute basis….
Unless I dreamt it.
sounds like http://versionista.com/
http://www.newssniffer.co.uk/
I think this is the one your looking for, http://www.newssniffer.co.uk/articles/list_by_revision
newssniffer – that was it, thanks! – but, curses, it only tracks stories, not the blogs or aggregated pages
Its now replaced with post titled “A bit of a week”
phew! that’s alright then
At the risk of offending Guido but, just a thought, has anyone ever seen Susan Boyle and Gordon Brown together in the same room?
Gordon Brown
Susan Boyle
Maybe someone from No.10 had a quiet word with Sion Simon?
Chaps, come on lets get to the important stuff…..
what time is this damn vote in the commons re expenses?? and what are the odds of the Govt loosing again>?
Apologise you idiot
losing, ok losing, one o not oo ok? not loosing, just stop it you’re bringing the tone right down
How about this, Briitish troops have loose bowels in combat.
That’s why the army employs Nepalese mercenaries.
Every time you type loose think of your weak bowels.
British perhaps?
Ha hahahahahhahaha
Britiish
You fucking twat
FrankFisher – Good spot !!
Perhaps this illustrates there’s a case for state funded lobotomies. Purely for charitable purposes of course.
Max – 55 – You need to get hold of a copy of this week’s Private Eye…
I’ve seen Timney/Edmonds, but don’t tell me…
I can remember when the Speccie, in a desperate effort to crawl to Noo Liebour, employed SS as their tame Socialist columnist in the aftermath of the 97 election. In one nauseating piece he gloried and gloated abt the Tory defeat, and said he had done it for all his toiling ancestors or some such crap. He stopped the column cos he said he was going blind. A case of follow his leader? I hope to be ‘up for Sion’ when his miserable band go down to electoral disaster.
oi oi oi
The Times front page
Brown faces Commons defeat on expenses after Tories drop support on vote
Oh happy days. Today is gonna be fun.
G..A..M..E O..V..E..R..!!!!
The oil painting Sion Simon, if he really wanted to be funny, should have heeded the prophetic advice of the late, great Frankie Howerd.
Twitter ye not.
He seems like a nice boy.
Oi! I’ll ‘ave me catchphrase back, if you don’t mind.
Close the effing door would be more apt
It’s about time this political foreskin was circumcised.
with a spoon
The Sheriff of Nottingham would insist on a blunt spoon
Am I the only one that thinks it’s like a makeover show; Sion Simon is the ‘before’ and Susan Boyle is the ‘after’
Apparently (see 60) Private Eye are suggesting Susan Boyle and Gordon Brown are one and the same person. This would explain a lot; I am going out at lunchtime to buy a copy (of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde) and will report back later.
“Twat in acting like a twat shocker….”
Hold the front page.
Good point, well made.
“When comes to twattishness, none can surpass Sion.”
Erm, Gordon?
What a shit joke. He should give up at everything.
He could drastically reduce his carbon footprint if he gave up exhaling. I would strongly recommend him to try that.
An evergreen quote :
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Saki
Simon is surely the embodiment of all that’s wrong in Westminster politics.
A nomark gobshyte who has zero value to an employer in the real world, but who is so at ease in the believe in nothing, slippery, ghastly, waster’s paradise of the Labour plp.
Seconded, my thoughts exactly. Tongue extraction would be too good for him – castration should also be administered, though I think it’s already too late – I believe the wee gobshite already has progency, ugh, vile thought.
Ere stop messin about!
That you, Ambrose?
Ere stop messin about!!
Zzzzzzzzz
Hope nobody noticed my appearance on TV last night…the bottom set of my false teeth were bouncing around so much they very nearly popped out of my mouth.
lol best comment of the day so far. However it is in poor taste and you will have to be executed.
Hello sweetie!
Yes I watched it on CNN and they showed a bit more footage of her announcement. Did you that after she spoke she burst into song, siging something from Les Misrables I believe, very nice it was to.
Is the assessment on whether we have a pandemic depend on the behaviour of Margaret Chans Teeth because if it does that might explain a lot.
Typical nu Labour Hoon unable to understand the concept of Substance over Style.
What the Labour chaps seem to not understand is that the average intelligence, political awareness and general knowledge of the average internet user is vastly superior to the average Sun or Mirror reader.
Crap may fool the TV addict, but to the rest they simply make themselves look like utter fools, greedy criminals or lightweight liars.
I hope for the sake of us all that Cameron and his party do not make the same mistake, because over the coming years the internet will be the place political movers and shakers, and especially committed voters with BIG MOUTHS, will come to first for information and insight. The BBC is still extremely powerful, however its days of unrivaled power are shortening by the hour.
Being caught out clearly lying to the public is a political death sentence, as far as the public are concerned, and so it should be.
However a word of WARNING.
There is a danger in the continual undermining of our parliamentary process, from within and without.
Because the ONLY alternative to our own government, that will be presented to us, will be an overtly FASCIST EU one.
There is a CONSPIRACY going on to finish off all national governments, and their national currencies forever. So far and especially over the last 12 years, this EU inspired conspiracy has done a very fine job indeed.
Good to have you around again, oh mighty Atlas, Where did you get to?
I’ve been a bit worried about you and I do tend to get complacent when you’re not around.
Sion Simon? Style? He came second in the style stakes to Gollum.
So whats the chances of a Government defeat today ?
I wouldn’t bet against Dave supporting McMental today.
Better to keep him in place as a lame and cornered animal rather than give the party an excuse for a cull.
A new leader would distance himself and be awarded a bounce.
We need him to resign or call immediate election.
Either one almost guarantees a wipe out of ZaNu
Sadly you are right. The last thing this country needs is six months under a new leader during which time the lamestream media can preach rosy bollocks about how this new Hoon is a complete change from Brown (despite supporting Brown faithfully for 12 years). This *might* buy labour back some of their brain-dead natural supporters, who had began to wake up.
ALL the labour MP’s must go, every last one of ‘em!
I have no ambitions in that quarter – I’m far too busy fighting “Swine Flu” but of course if I was called upon to serve…………………………………………..!!!”
If he goes, he’ll understand he needs to go soon (although I suspect his arrogance and instability will meen he’ll probably tough it out) as to go to the country in Autumn or, worse, Spring after a winter of discontent will be suicide.
Summer is almost upon us.
Alas, suspect he’s in place until May/June 2010.
That gives the MPs with limited majorities to fill their boots at our expense for another 12-14 months.
Unpalatable as it appears, I’d suggest that as a nation we may be better off rather have this than a change of leader this summer.
I think you may well be right and add to the fact that they have to agree to something in order to cover up the universal troughing which has ocurred on an industrial scale.
I’m not actually a fully fledged member of the hate nu-labour brigade. I will not vote for them mind, because of idiots like Simon. Listening to him on the Today Program a few weeks ago was embarrasing. And that is basically the problem with the government. These people are stupid, ignorant and careless. To call them second rate is a disservice to the second rate people of the World.
Give it a few more days and you will be!
Have you checked your pension yet ?
Suspect you may not yet have viewed the Dan Hannan video, in which he elegantly and comprehensively demolished Brown in front of the Euro Parliament.
Please do watch it. It puts the case for hating NuLab superbly in about four minutes.
You don’t have to agree, but please do watch.
“He’s losing his grip like John Major” – Tom Harris:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1175388/Battered-Brown-faces-Commons-challenge-Labour-MP-warns-Hes-losing-grip-like-John-Major.html
John Major never had a grip.
Probably not as firm as yours
Unlike your knuckle-white grip. boom, boom
And not as firm as Richard Timney.
Edwina had enough for both of them.
Hello!
Getting a quick post in before knocking off for the statutory 1 hour lunch break?
Dr Feelgood,
If that’s the best you can manage, really it’s not very good.
That is all.
In fairness to Major, he did win his own general election which is more than this one seems at all likely to ever do. As the Tories had already been in power for 13 years by 1992 it was a marvel that Major won any majority at all, even a small one. It was not Major’s own personal fault that the public were already starting to tire of the Conservative party by that stage. Indeed, Major always had better personal ratings than the rest of his government and party. Neither was Major to blame for the then bitter divisions in his party. What exactly was he supposed to do with such a narrow and internally split majority??? He did tremendously well to last out the full term. Would any of his critics have done any better? Would you have done so? Gordon Brown certainly isn’t (in fact he is doing worse) though his majority is larger. He does not seem at all likely to win any general election, as Major managed. Unlike the latter, who was the best liked member of his government (admittedly not saying much) Brown is the least liked and most ridiculous member of his, which says a great deal indeed.
Anon.
You take a great deal of words to say very little indeed.
John Major was and is an insipid joke.
The Conservaitve Party was and is a shambles, wet? dry? What was/is that all about?
At heart the grammar school boys and their sneaked in to public school wannabe compadres hate the way the blue bloods run rings around them. It’s an oil and water mix.
There is a ruling class and the only way in is by blood.
The objective of the Labour Party is to get the ruling class to be reasonable.
The objective of the Conservative Party is to kiss their ring.
My petite buttucks are still black and blue!
What did I say in post 181 that can be rationally disputed?
A divided party that had been in power for over a decade, and was only given a begrudging, tiny majority in 1992, would be virtually impossible for anyone to lead to great success. Major managed very well to win even that majority, and to then survive until 1997.
It seems to have altogether escaped you that if we were to accept your false premise that the Conservative Party is unfair to its non aristocratic members, that would actually count in favour of someone with Major’s humble background. However, he managed well enough in the circumstances without need of such a false and hate filled defence. I say false, because none of the three most recent Conservative PMs – Heath, Thatcher and Major – were from aristocratic families. They ascended the social scale very well and that was all bound up with not indulging in hate filled resentment. Of course, had they been lifelong clodhoppers, hate filled resentment would have been the predictable consequence of that.
John major NEVER lost a vote in the commons whilst he still had a Majority. and never for an opposition motion and never during the first 2 years as leader. Brown has lost WAY more authority than Major ever did.
Major’s Government would be a VAST improvement over what we are subjected to at the moment!
Was anyone else privileged enough to hear our Glorious Brown at the handover ceremony in Basra this morning?
Ability to speak disintegrating. Ability to get to the end of a sentence declining. Ability to remember people’s names faltering.
I only had the audio of it, but it reminded me of Ronald Reagan. After he retired. I don’t know if he’s losing his grip, since that suggests he had one to begin with, but he’s beginning to sound broken.
Two favourite vacuous themes on this site.
Neither are remotely true.
Brown is fine, coping very well.
He comes across as tough, intelligent and competent.
Darling comes across as intellignet, thoughtful and calm.
Now, David Carry On and George (Ere stop messin about) Osborne come across as featherweight nincumpoops.
Just an opinion, you understand.
He must be really pissed off – hence probably why he sent John ” ‘Ave a go if you think you’re tough enough” Hutton as his proxy instead of going in person – when he announced the British withdrawal in 2007 someone must have said – “Prime Minister that is worth at least 10 points in the polls !” Now – nobody noticed!
Jacqui says that I have the same problem after too much porn!
Brown is fine, coping very well.
Fucking hilarious!
Dogbreath Baiter, you really ought to start twittering with material like that.
Master Wanker,
You are such a bag full of cliche and shit. If you really think you have any valid opinions about anything that anyone might wish to know about, why don’t you start your own blog?
And stop soiling this one with your inane 3rd year witterings.
The Penguin
Oops, silly me, not in Basra, but stood next to Nouri Maliki in a Travelodge somewhere…
GB is ‘coping well’?! We say that of the recently bereaved or terminally ill. Which is GB?
So judge for yourselves.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8026613.stm
Can anyone make sense of what he says about the memorial?
I take it writing his own memorial speech is beneath Snott Gobbler?
WTF is an arburtarum……did the script say arboretum by any chance?
#185
“He [Snotgobbler] comes across as tough, intelligent and competent.
Darling comes across as intellignet, thoughtful and calm.”
Can somebody call the men in white coats please? Somebody here is in serious need of a psychiatrist….
I can see your point of view on tough and intelligent (although I disagree), but competent? FOR THE LOVE OF JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
the other matter in Majors favour is even with Black Thursday ocurring on his watch, he still didnt bankrupt the country. I know this is a small matter but thought it worth mentioning !
Imagine the hysterics if Simon was a Tory minister? HIGNFY would be paying him double to appear. Mock the Week would be in ecstacy, and the entire Edinburgh Fringe Festival would be given over to ‘edgy’ young comics doing Sion Simon jokes. But instead there is silence.
The Prime Minister himself would also be doing a stand up on Youtube mocking the errant Tory.
Is it just possible that the silence reflects his status as a total nobody?
Hobbling hedgies and bashing the buyout boys.
That’ll be the day.
Getta hand it to you, MB. You come here and try to palm off the same old tired rubbish. Come-come, old chap! Don’t you know when you are beaten?
Pnar, pnar!
What he doesn’t realise is that after a good ol’ slapping he’ll get no come back.
Burying this sad excuse of a government in a landslide.
That’ll be the day.
Watching half the cabinet having a “portillo moment”.
That’ll be the day.
Having a non-socialist party in power to lead the recovery from this boom and bust government.
That’ll be the day.
New Labour’s solutions seem to be force all the high rate tax payers out the country, and then sit there wondering why the revenue take has gone down instead of up.
They’re idiots – they’re not fit to run an egg and spoon race, let alone a country.
Portillo, he got in touch with himself, didn’t he?
After he had a glorious kicking, what a night!
You got it, Napoleon.
I’m going to stay up all night and watch the election results come in and raise a glass of bubbly every time some labourite gets trashed.
362 Mary Hinge April 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm
“…raise a glass of bubbly every time some labourite gets trashed.”
Please make sure that every second glass is fizzy water. Even then you will be trolleyed, so many of them will crash and burn.
Simple Simon met a Blogman going to the moon.
Said Simple Simon to the Blogman, “Have you seen McBroon?”
Said the Blogman to Simple Simon, “Fuck off you stupid Hoon!”
Haha
Thankyouthankyouverymuch. :D
Beautiful…..
Have you thought of applying for the post of Poet Laureate?
Can’t say that I have considered it… does it pay enough to have a modest home and enough money for a few pints with my mates on Friday night? Oh and a season ticket to my local rugby club?
I believe as poet laurette you can get free subscription to Red Hot readers wives courtsy of the tax payer.
re:204.
Can I have the cash instead? I can think of much better things to spend the money on.
Ere stop messin about !!!
Bloody hell Ambrose, you can’t even spell George anymore. Better have a lie down before your party gets defeated tonight.
‘Ere stop messin about !!!!
An improvement given your shuffling of apostrophe’s (sic, ain’t it, this Labour Government.) However, given your lack of originality I can only award you a bare pass for effort and attainment, which under this Government means you have been awarded an A*!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8026745.stm
Why we can’t trust this Government or it’s supposed anti-terrorist legislation.
Just a convenient method to erode our freedoms and democracy.
0.058% justification ??? I wonder how many led to conviction ?
Believe the case has now been proven – these laws are not “fit for purpose”.
“1984 was a warning, not a NuLabour instruction manual”
“Some 124,687 stops and searches were conducted in England and Wales under anti-terror laws, but only 73 – 0.058% – ended in arrests for terror offences.”
How many of those 0.058% Arrests lead to a conviction?
We are NOT facing an Islamic Terrorist Threat. There is NO EVIDENCE that one exists. There is more evidence that international intelligence and security services are setting people up as patsies, extracting maximum publicity from them, torturing them, getting names of other people to use as patsies, arresting them in high-profile raids that inevitably lead to charges collapsing for lack of evidence.
Al Qaeda is a manufactured organisation created by western intelligence and security agencies.
Right.
And whether Al Qaeda exists or not – shows that either the powers are being abused or that the powers are being used by incompetents.
Or both.
You are Ned indeed, Mr Ned. I spoke with someone who helped clean up the mess after the London bombings.
Put your ‘ideas’ to him and his colleagues. No, on second thoughts… don’t.
Surely, therefore, this Govt ought to be being very careful in having the overwhelming public support against any real or perceived threat, no ?
By bringing in police state legislation under a disguise of anti-terrorism does nobody any favours.
I suggest these statistics show that any venom ought to be directed at the trash that are attempting to control us for their own ends.
Stopping and searching a minimum of 99.9942% innocent people under the disguise of Terrorist Legislation is surely a foolproof way of undermining true support.
But then again, maybe I just don’t get it.
I’ve had enough and am off to Brazil
Mexico would be better.
Do us a favour and take the rest of your mates with you.
Nuts to you
Further Education Minister Mr Simons was slammed very recently, in the House of Commons, for cancelling an early afternoon meeting to discuss Further Education funding and then cleared off to the gym. Obviously he’s a part-timer!
They all are. 3 months’ holiday coming up…
Nothing ‘purer than pure’ about any of this.
What sort of ‘pure’ are we talking about ?
ZaNu appears to be using the Victorian meaning.
http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/W/worstjobs/victorian5.html
Anybody who uses the phrase ‘…but you can take it from me…’ as this oaf does in your political forecasting link has an unrealistic appreciation of both his abilities and the public’s dislike for gobby overpaid mediocrities.
This is a man who has only been noticed by the public on the three occasion he has chosen to behave like a knob. Odd actually, since he is well educated.
“A Welsh-Brummie writes: Sion Simon, please just shut up!”
http://thatsnews.blogspot.com/2009/04/welsh-brummie-writes-sion-simon-please.html
He really IS an utter hoon!
I feel better now…
Breaking News: Scots Swine flu. couple discharged from Hospital.
Media gutted !
The BBC is particularly gutted – they have 500 reporters covering the story – all equipped with face masks to be donned at the first sign of a pandemic – it’s what a responsible broadcaster would do !!!
Talking of face masks this is hilarious from the mash team
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/who-will-be-the-first-arsehole-to-wear–a-facemask?-200904291731/
Tey also had a full medical team on standby, elf n safety.
And this on
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/-pandemic-obviously-not-what-you-thought-it-was-200904301734/
“We use the word pandemic because it’s a combination of the ancient Greek words ‘pan’ meaning ‘everyone’ and ‘demic’ meaning ‘frighten the absolute living shit out of’ “
James Blunt CD and a cyanide pill :D
Great link – thanks
They will make up some more cases.
No. Its already started.
Whinge like hell about it having been blown out of all proportion.
Stack ‘em up, knock ‘em down, sell papers.
Piglet version. No need to worry
MONKLANDS hospital.
ZaNULabor darkness central – motherland to the Scottish Raj.
Surprised ?
I’m not.
As soon as I noted the BBC blank all other stories and MONKLANDS being identified I just knew it.
Warning, Warning .. NuLabour Diversification Alert
Monklands is Mordor, it is Labours Dark Heartland !
Check out Bliar’s piece on Sierra Leone in the Guardian. Most comments have been moderated out. I wonder why?
No shapeshifter Blair can just Fuck off !
Many thanks for the link to the New Statesman piece, Guido.
Hey Guido did you know order-order is listed as a Technology Blog on a current league table of uk blogs
http://uk.cision.com/News-Room/UK-Top-50-Blogs/
If thats true the moderation on this blog is diabolically bad , allowing so many “off topic” comments.
Um yes is it the word technology that is spelled “politics”?
The Labour Party will soon have a knacker’s yard Derby:
front-runners:
Harry Hardnut
Postman Pat
Mouth of Straw
Mandlebum (first peer of the realm to lead a Govt since Lord Salisbury?)
outside runner:
Hazel ‘I’ve got a chipmunk up me hoon’ Nut
Stalking horse rumours at Labour Home.
I still want it to be Balls so I can laugh all day every day. Imagine Yvette as shadow first lady dreaming one day of skipping across the world stage with her beau. Sigh.
First race where there’s no winner
Brown’s premiership is turning just as I predicted in my book “Boom and Bust” written before he became PM. Contact me on nigel_bowker_917@hotmail.com for a free electronic copy.
Do you have a book out? you should have said.
Interestingly, the petition is growing faster today than at any point since Monday.
Any idea why?
The no10 machine didn’t want it to be at the top before PMQ yesterday.
Just a wild guess ………………………
The Cabinet “plotters” need ammunition to deliver the “coup de grace” if Brown loses the expenses vote tonight and if as expected the debacle of 4 June is worse than their private polls are telling them it will be – they can cite the petition as another piece of evidence that Brown has lost the confidence of the electorate
Govt. has just caved over the first amendment.
Now there is an argument over whether the house needs to vote on the others.
This is a joke.
Jacqboots and Harperson inter alia have been doing their level best to repress free speech, but this is the UK not the USA
How does one pronounce Sion?
Is it like Sean as in Sean Connery or Sion like Zion?
No it’s “Sion” as in “Twat”
and after the General Election, “Sion” as in “sign on”
The name is hebrew in origin, meaning god is gracious.
Erm Hebrew in nature because it’s the same name as John perhaps?
And Sion is in fact the Welsh version of John although there’s a funny old circumflex that I cannot reproduce on this keyboard.
î
Hold down the ALT key and type 1 4 0 on the numeric keypad.
Good work Mick.
I knew the trick but alas have not been buffing up on my character codes….do you know them all off by heart? :P
as in the protocols of Sion ?
Yeh! Rolly Hoon Sion;
Silly Hoon Sion:
McLoon sitteth on Mount Sion
And savin’ all creation.
Yeah, we’re – we’re scammin’ (wotch mi-war)
It’s pronounced “Shown”, as in “shown up as a right twat”.
Proppa’ blogga’
Hoon!
Mr ambassador
with your sophisticated arguments you are spoiling us
Don’t forget his woeful column in the Daily Labourgraph. The day they brought Simon in was when the rot set in.
Except they dropped Mrs Dale to make space, so not all bad
Agreed – there has been some NuLab stooge ever since, wasting the Torygraph’s space and money
According to Eric Joyce MP. who twittered back to Simon..
Brilliant. Philosophy lecturers across world will be using that classical example of a fallacy for at least the next week.
So, it’s not PC to take the mick out of Susan Boyle?
Susan who?
It is bullying and dishonourable.
If you don’t understand these concepts, ask the Gurkhars.
At least Sion Simon doesn’t get pissed in a Commons bar and then go back into the House to make a statement on behalf of the government like Phil Woolas did yesterday.
He doesn’t fiddle his expenses like Jacqui Smith either.
Did Woolas make a Realarse of himself then ? ( again )
He was pretty abusive and stumbling over his words. He did seem quite pissed.
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-Mr. S-s-s-shhhh-shhpeaker…
Yes. He was concious!
Did I hear him at one stage suggesting that his career was over?
Breaking News
Brown backs down again over MP’s expenses.
The atmosphere in the bunker must be a tad fetid at the moment.
they’ve got to come out for air sometime…
Nick Robinson on Radio 4:
“Gordon Brown is a Prime Minister on the skids”
Has Toenails finally removed himself from Brown’s backside?
Nah Toenails is awinner not a quitter. He’s going in again, chaps.
Or, has Brown had a Hoonectomy. I only ask in the interests of medical history.
Don’t worry Sarah, very soon you’ll be able to buy copies of the NHS database for a fiver.
Nick should know all about skids he spends so much time down there….
Yep. Robinson is idealy placed to comment on Gordon’s skid marks.
Well Toenails should have a good view of Gordo’s Grundies!!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww……………. :-(
Surely, he meant Damian 666 is on skid row.
Interesting how lefties are always actually unpleasant when you scratch the surface. I am often reminded of Auberon Waugh who reckoned that there are only two types of socialist: nasty people pretending to be nice and the truly stupid.
He was only half right though. I think there’s a third type, those who are both truly stupid and nasty but pretending to be nice. Sion Simon has always struck me as one such. There’s a fellow on here called Amby Pamby or something who is another.
Still, let’s make sure the world knows about the tasteless, vicious cruelty of one of el Gordo’s most trusted lieutenants and all is not lost.
Psychiatrists estimate that one in twenty five of the UK population are psychopaths (ie people totally lacking in a conscience and empathy for others) Studies show that 79% of these vote Labour.
Of course psychopaths vote Labour. Brown is a psychopath though a pretty pale imitation of his hero Stalin.
Wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
You may think that Theodore Kaczynski (the Unabomber) is beyond the pale as a misanthropic nutcase and you may well be right but his anatomy of “leftism” in terms of psychopathology is certainly worth some critical examination. By way of intellectual credentials, he completed a doctorate on Riemannian geometry in less than a year.
He analyses leftism as a toxic blend of feelings of inferiority and “oversocialization” (approximately self-appointment as guardians of righteousness). For the full monty, see:
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Industrial_Society_and_Its_Future#The_psychology_of_modern_leftism
All the MSM twats who are critical of this blog fail to realise that often something really interesting comes up by the way. Out of Brown’s madness come enlightenment.
“A young man who isn’t a socialist hasn’t got a heart; an old man who is a socialist hasn’t got a head.”
David Lloyd George
Since when was it good for the reputation of the house to pass a motion containing five resolutions, when resolution one directly conflicts with the rest of the documents.
And when is a Brown motion simply a Brown motion ?
einstein got his first nobel prize for a statistical account of “Brownian motion” but I dont think he was thinking about an idiot Prime Minister who cannot think straight due to an immersion in decades of Socialist Dogma. Dont think so anyway.
Opening a book on the motives and origins of the Dutch car attacker…..
any takers?
Musl…….aaagghhhh!!!
Aaahh the joys of diversity! We should celebrate it.
Well, I can offer a great price on loyal, patriotic Gurkhas:
10000000000-1
Still, we don’t really want them here do we? They cause nothing but trouble, moaning about all that fighting they’ve done….if they could just knuckle down, get down the jobcentre and sign on, register their postal votes at NuLab HQ and vociferously argue about how shit this country is, they wouldn’t have a problem….it’s their own fault really.
Put the Gurkhas on border patrol and immigration by bearded camel riders would be solved … sharpish…
Too early to say – could be a lone pyscopath with a grudge against the Dutch Royal Family, on the other hand it might be an event because of Wilders.
I’ll give you 1000-1 for lone psycho….
I’ve still got the favourite open though at 1-30000
OK I stand corrected, but my point was made in jest.
One speeding ticket too many?
Speed cameras were invented in the Netherlands.
That such a prick can be a minister of state is truely an inspiration for all of us. He even writes like a smug twat.
In other blood boiling news I noticed this morning that even Gerry Adams has been claiming tens of thousands of pounds in MP’s expenses; despite never having taken his seat in Westminster and ‘allegedly’ organising a guerilla war against the UK. Isn’t Westminster wonderful!
You mean Gerry Adams the Army Tout ?
He’s got as much right as me for benefits!
Yes – Martin McGuinness, too.
Apparently they don’t attend Westminster on principle.
Their principles do not extend to declining the £24k allowance for second homes of which they have no need.
All five sinn féin MPs claim pretty much close to the maximum I believe. Although all five share two london properties when they are in London. I recall it got reasonable coverage in NI earlier this month (google it, can’t be arsed myself) along with other NI MPs pig swilling habits. Something else knocked it all off the news there though and it got very limited coverage in mainland UK. Gordon wanted an exemption for them all (peace process, innit). But the the province is the wild west of Britain, usual rules never apply. Not sure how the exemption idea panned out.
Exemption from losing the allowance that is.
Has Phil Woolas sobered up yet LOL
Lets see the fat Kunts expenses.
BBC reporting on total chaos in Westminster over this afternoons expenses vote. It sounds like Brown is all over the place.
It’s descended into yet another Brown farce.
Physicists have create a new theory to describe the phenomenon of utter fuck-up that surrounds Gordon. Apparently it is caused by a new type of matter that attracts defeat by a force similar in action to gravity.
It’s called “Brown Matter”.
Lets hope he’s one of the labour MP’s on suicide watch. Go on Simon make a youtube we can all enjoy for once!
“suicide watch” is that a new reality programme ? Do we get to follow these vunerable MP’s around to see who throws themselves of Beachy Head first ?
I bet those fuckers accept the Young amendment without a vote – if they lost a vote on that it must be a confidence issue, surely?
Ah just lurv the smell of Nepal in the morning.
Beautiful!
Hoons aside, Sion in park (ok you make it up)
This Pandemic has any one noticed the new Tv ad of a numpty sneezing over everything the catchline (geddit) reads:
CATCH IT …. isn’t the idea that we don’t catch it but avoid infection?
I also like the idea that do it yourself shops have sold out of facemasks…
There is also a rumour doing the rounds in the USA that drug barons deliberately started the swine fever strain and pumped it around the Mexico City underground…knowing that it would make the Goverment unstable, divert resources and that would effectively take the heat of the drug and people traffic business.
I’m sweating like a pig today…..oh fuck….
“There is also a rumour doing the rounds in the USA”
Sufficient reason to rule it out then.
Brown’s bottled the expenses vote. What a pathetic, useless piece of shite. Haven’t Labour MPs had enough of this wanker yet like the rest of us did long ago?
The Bottler returns
More bottles than a milkman.
Hot off the Press.
Vote today on MP expenses may be OFF.
Oh for fuck’s sake. Don’t we tear people apart when they attack obvious jokes like this on the grounds of politician correctness or some other fun killing moral crusade? It’s become too easy to force someone intoa grovelling apology for being “offensive” for actually just saying some throwaway remark that would be taken light heartedly in any reasonable real life situation. This sort of thing is what we ought to be opposing, not just joining in with the god damned lefty bastards at their own self-perpetuating game.
Funny, I spotted Sion Simon talking animatedly with none other than the Propagandist in Chief Kevin Maguire at lunchtime in Portcullis House. Wonder what they were chatting about? So many topics from this week already…
Kevin was probably suggesting (in a private capacity) some smear ideas for him to Twatter.
Gordon’s mortgage rescue scheme is proved to be spin.
1 home has qualified for help.
Yes one.
http://plato-says.blogspot.com/2009/04/guess-how-many-homes-have-been-saved-by.html
Can’t help his own electorate save their own home… but certainly helps his own people secure another home.
That’s his definition of assistance “for hardworking families”
Good. If they don’t pay their mortgage then why should the taxpayer pay it for them?
Ms Harman also sparked confusion by accepting an amendment which would effectively delay any changes until the inquiry was complete – but stating that votes would go ahead on other issues like stopping outer London MPs claiming a second homes allowance.
Er, so she’s making changes but not implementing them until another comittee suggests different changes. And what then?
Her Tory shadow, Alan Duncan said the debate was descending into “complete and utter lunacy” while there were calls from one MP of “car crash”.
Love it.
Couldn’t make this incompetence up, could you ?
I can!
Bwahahahahaha Bwahahahahaha
The House is busy discussing the crucial theme of their expenses … bath plugs, patio heaters, kitchen sinks …
meanwhile a war finishes in Iraq.
Spectacular own goal.
Not only is he being paid by the taxpayer, but politicians should not be gratuitously insulting people outside politics or other serious and prominent areas of life. My own view is that popular entertainment, though prominent, is not serious. So unless a celebrity from that world expresses an opinion, or acts in a manner that a politician objects to, politicians should refrain from comment. Politicians ought to act in a manner that is beyond reproach, rather than behaving in a way that the rest of us may or may not be able to get away with. And remember, TB set the standard at least that high, by saying that Labour ought to be ‘purer than pure’ and that they actually would be.
Also, as a general principle (and I do not say whether it applies in this case) if somebody was initially mocked and jeered, a Labour MP of all people ought to be unreservedly on that person’s side.
A belief in good manners and good English is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the foundation of good Tory character.
Like Archer,Mellor,Aitken,Hamilton,Parkinson et al. All “Good Tory characters”
What did Mellor do that compares with the corruption and incompetence of this government? A minor sex scandal? Give me a break….
You’ve pulled out four names from 18 years.
I can give you twenty-plus top Labour names from 12 years.
Work out the maths.
It would help if you could count! Allways a good foundation of character
Do we count people like Mandy and Blunkett only once. Easy to be confused on numbers, no ?
@Anonymous
I said four because I do not include Mellor.
It would help if you could read my comments before making snide remarks
And as an aside, I have a degree in Maths from Imperial, so I can count in many more number systems than you can even name …
Fair enough. Your clever wiv numbers, and i can spot a bumptious,self promoting,incompetant prick on the make like Mellor from over the horizon. The problem is that the tories are still full of arses like him.
No amount of second order partial integration will help these wankers even partially integrate for another second or with any semblance of order so you lefties just fuck off
All of whom resigned or if they didnt resign and had committed criminal offences, they got sent down for it.
And considering the sinners and lawbreakers NL have got… their punishment has been precisely what? Hang on for dear life until pushed out by the PM of the day (Clarke, Blunkett, Hain, Mandy x 2, Geoffrey Robinson) or just bluster it out (Vaz, Harman, McNulty, Jackboots, Blair, Prescott, Straw… more than enough to be going on with).
and all either punished ( in some cases with prison sentences) or sent into the political wilderness, so what is your point exactly.
My point is that the Torys paid for their sins, to date this shower have not but its coming oh yes !
Not one of those five has been in power for over a decade.
We are talking about the filth, corruption, derogation of duty, incompetence, disregard for the public, catastrophic economic mismanagement of the CURRENT Labour administration.
It says a lot about you as a person that you support such utter utter hoons.
I don’t support these hoons. I just think the tories are no better.
Er.. Derek Conway.
Napoleon: you have to learn to differentiate before you can integrate
Mellor had sex with a woman who was not his wife.
What a fucking scandal.
I never said that Conservatives were anywhere near perfect. But TB said his brigade would be. ‘Purer than pure’ in fact. Set yourself such impossible standards and prepare for a reckoning, particularly when you turn out even more abysmal than your opponents were.
None of which excuses Simon’s oink of a remark.
Do you remember Ridley’s crack about Government’s bow doors being open just after the sinking of The Herald of Free Enterprise. That was a real corker!
Can you not even give yourself a humourous soubriquet Dolly?
If you really have nothing better to do with your day now that you’ve formatted all your hard drives, at least have the decency to spend 2 seconds thinking up some kind of name
Ms Harman also sparked confusion by accepting an amendment which would effectively delay any changes until the inquiry was complete – but stating that votes would go ahead on other issues like stopping outer London MPs claiming a second homes allowance.
What? She’s accepted the Young amendments????????????????????????
Anyone listening to what’s going on? Some of us are at w*rk but need to know…
The Government has accepted the Young Amendment (so it will be passed) and which will refer all MPs expenses matters to the Kelly Enquiry but then perveresly intends to vote on all the other amendments which the first motion will have referred to the Kelly Enquiry. You work it out !!!!
Confused, perplexed, bewildered.
it doesn’t take much, but Harperson has surpassed herslf today.
but….but…
well, I accept this is a frequent question when considering this labour government, but what’s the fucking point? If they accept those amendments, then what is the fucking point of the other motions?
Or is this, like so much else this government does, intended to “send a message”? The message in this case being “Ignore us, we’re fucking idiots”?
It’s a typical Brown solution -” I know that I’ll lose the vote on the Young Amendment so I’ll accept it but then just to show everybody that I am really in charge we’ll still havea vote on all the other amendments which we’ll then “whip” through the lobby and just like one of my Budgets nobody will understand the small print or what they’re voting for or why- after all I AM the towering political intellect of my generation!”
Many on the left, as this inividual demonstrates, do not act very politely. In my experience, the left also have a sound command of filthy vocabulary, as evidenced both on the internet and on the BBC on a Friday night. (Maybe at other times too.)
Sion Simon is the joke.
blah blah blah funny comment blah blah snide remark blah blah waggish quip blah blah important point blah blah blah
What makes you tick, son?
tock
It has come to my attention that by posting here I have become my own enemy, given that my puerile attempt at criticism of other posters, applies equally to myself, due to the fundamental lack of any actual point.
If I had genitals I would castrate myself by way of apology. Obviously that course of action is unavailable to me.
I apologise for taking your valuable oxygen.
38,302 and counting!
The Times is running its own poll:
http://timesnews.typepad.com/news/2009/04/gordon-brown-should-he-stay-or-should-he-go-now.html
89% say he should go now.
more support than on the No. 10 e-petitions site
the no.10 petition for his resignation (currently occupying the no.1 slot!) is also set to break figures for fastest and most number of signatures.
Every major paper is repeated running stories involving the words turmoil, collapse, failure. The man must be a glutton for punishment; no wonder he just sits there with his wanker’s grin as the shit is shoveled higher and higher…
Curious thing is that it is growing much faster now than it was yesterday. It might be circulating more widely and going viral – a few days will tell.
89.1%
The left try to project themselves as being ‘purer than pure’, as TB tried to do, but they often fail even in the pretence, never mind the reality. Conservatives usually have a much better grasp of how to conduct themselves on the surface, and those of them brought up on hellfire, brimstone and the cane may even aspire to be as pure as possible in reality. The reality is, people in all parties are vile sinners, but Conservatives are likelier to try not to be. And I only focus on the word ‘pure’, because it was one of ‘TB’s favourites.
On behalf of all Conservative Members, I join the Prime Minister in welcoming President Obama and the First Lady, and all the other Presidents and Prime Ministers, to our country this week.
Before turning to the G20, may I ask the Prime Minister about the issue of MPs’ expenses? [ Interruption. ] MPs may groan, but frankly I am fed up with our politics being dragged through the mud. We need a solution that is transparent, costs less than the current arrangements, and restores faith in the political process. Is it not the case that we cannot wait for another review, and that this needs to be agreed now? So instead of another review, will the Prime Minister agree to an urgent meeting between the main party leaders so that we can sort this out once and for all?
In a word, no.
Of course I am happy to meet the leaders of the Opposition parties to discuss this, but to restore public confidence in the matter the Committee will have to complete its review as well, and I have asked it to speed up that review so that it is completed as quickly as possible.
Mr. Cameron: Frankly, the problem is that we do not need another review.
(PMQ, 1 April 2009 – see Hansard)
Prime Minister,
I can see that you’re talking but over the years I have come to realise that every word that passes your lips is a lie, a deception, a distraction, an empty vacuous random collection of meaningless platitudes. Consequently you have been tuned out and now sound like one of the adults on Charlie Brown.
Bwaa bwaa bwaa bwaahhh bwaa bwaaah.
72% of the electorate feel the same way.
Is this an auspicious omen?
“On this day in history in 1945: Adolf Hitler commits suicide in his bunker as Soviet forces overrun Berlin.”
No he didn’t he lived in the lap of luxury in Tulsa Oklahoma until 1974, playing war games.
Everything has a price.
Transparency on second jobs, sources of income, assets and best of all attendance at the House.
That’ll smoke ‘em out
I wonder if he likes almonds. I know he likes bogies.
Considering everything else that Brown doesn’t rate as being worthy of keeping for a Commons announcement (including e.g. his expenses initiative), this one really shows how out of touch the bunker is:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6199042.ece
He kept the news of swine flu infection from the parents of children at the school the infected 12 year old attends.
When the expenses are released can I suggest any MP’s considering suicide do it in a clean efficient manner, thus reducing the burden on the tax payer for any clean up costs. Just do a Lord Lucan and fuck off before you get lynched by a very pissed off army of tax payers.
Times reporting that news of the Swine flu case in Devon was held back for five hours yesterday to allow Gordon Brown to announce it at PMQ’s
I think it was a parent on Radio 4 yesterday afternoon complaining that the first they knew about it was when McSnotty was announcing it in the HoC. Unusual for this shower of shite to announce something to Parliament first though.
To 301 It Doesn’t Add Up – sorry, saw your post after I submitted this
YES you motherfucker, that is it, that must be it. Think of the children
“Gordon’s PMQs bombshell puts kids at risk”
ferkin ‘elll
Swine flu a distraction
Swine flu important
Swine flu a distraction
Swine flu important
Swine flu a distraction
Swine flu important
Swine flu a distraction
Swine flu important
Make your minds up!
I suppose you’re arguing that you should wait for the PM to make an announcement to the Commons before you get any attention for a heart attack?
‘Ere, stop messin about!
“Gordon deceives the nation”
That will make a big fucking change then.
Is’nt it ironic that the thing that finally might bring Brown down is not his financial incompetance, but MPs determination to keep their snouts jammed in the swill.
A pisspoor opposition has been unable to nail him over the economy, and now only can succeed with the assistance of his own side who could’nt give a fuck for any policy other than their own avarice. If Brown is defeated, He will claim it as a moral victory,no doubt quoting Blair “It is better to do the right thing and lose”
The Conservatives and Liberals are not opposing Browns proposals simply to keep their noses in the trough, they are opposing them because they are something he thought up in the bath. His half baked scheme would give them just as much money as before.
more money actually thats what the dumb fuck fails to understand and why the Tories oppose
Murdoch’s throwing the stories out thick and fast now….
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6199042.ece
Miliband in a row with his Sri Lankan oppo
What is it with the Labour party and blind Hoons
McMental
Blunckett
and The sion Simon(soon to be blind) HOON
I suppose it helps them cope with having to look at Socialist women
The Court of Public Opinion:
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8023958.stm
Be your own Lord High Executioner
“virtual community justice teams”
do i have to bring my own cape?
“do i have to bring my own cape?”
No, just your dildo.
Sweet irony.
The MP tabling amendments in order to continue hide the outside interests of MPs is a member by the name of Hogg.
Oink, oink
Yes, a man with more honesty and dignity than the combined front bench of the current government.
You mean, two watches, BSE Hogg?
Sorry that was an offal joke.
Hogg wants to hide the assets and income sources of Members of Parliament as well as the hours of attendance at the House of Commons and the hours working for outside interests.
If it’s honourable, what have they got to hide?
Yes the Tories do have an awful lot of employable in their party.
The Labour mob on the other hand could only ever get a job within the public sector.
Hogg was right about BSE – it was massively overhyped.
Given that Gordon has decided that MPs should only sit for 126 days this year, why the hell shouldn’t he use the rest of his time to do something useful?
Unlike Balls and Mrs Balls swanning off skiing while the economy is in tatters.
I love the way you describe “outside interests” as “oink oink”
Compared with the rampant corruption and expense fiddling of the “impoverished” Labour politicians.
Your time is up.
‘Ere stop messin’ about ! ! !
his office was funded by Nat Rothschild (through Rothschild’s mother) to the tune of five hundred thousand pounds a year until the problem with blabbing about a private sojourn at a villa on on a boat in Corfu.
Cut off in his prime!
Ouch!
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/
34,373 signatories currently. Certainly a very clear message to the man in the bunker and all his acolytes.
@373
Is this the “private sojourn” where Mandy and Oleg got together to discuss Mandy’s upcoming aluminium tariffs?
There was of course nothing untoward in this meeting between the guy reducing the tariffs and the guy with one of the biggest aluminium businesses in the world.
Nope. Nothing at all.
However bad Osbourne is, you can always rely on the utter slimy hoon Mandelson to be there to provide a baseline to compare with.
What was Osbourne suspected of doing? Nothing in comparison with this awful perception of the stench of dodginess.
I know, how much better it is to have “career politicians” who are so much more compliant and respectful of the great helmsmans wishes. So much more amenable to thinking correct thoughts.
As long as an MP discharges his duties to the satisfaction of those who elect them, declares his interests diligently and is not involved in corrupt practices I fail to see what business it is of the Parliamentary Authorities how much he earns elsewhere. Labour are making a big deal of this, presumably because it will embarrass the Tories. As another has pointed out they only work derisory hours anyway.
“Asked whether his authority had been damaged, Mr Brown said he would not be “diverted” from the big issues, like swine flu and the economy.”
hows that one going then gordo? figured out what a deficit is yet?
Big Issue…Big Issue… only 50p
…and I will not be diverted from the Big Tissues
Divert the big tissues over here please.
(Vinegar strokes)
I’ll toss you over a box…
He seems to have forgotten about the war in Afghanistan then.
Maybe that’s why our troops don’t get the equipment they need to fight this war that will occur without a single shot being fired.
Just turned over to the parliament channel,mp’s allowences debate, noted is the sea of green seating,how the f*ck can they debate anything if the place is empty
Too busy filling in complicated expense forms
How many times does Blair get counted in this exercise? Perhaps put him in for a round 20 to keep thing simple. That should cover Cash for honours, Ecclestone-gate, dodgy dossiers, Cherie-gate,David Kelly, employment of A Campbell, tolerance of G Brown etc etc etc
….. Robin Cook, Princess Dai-gate, closet Catholic, ho-Blair (Lebanon), nest feathering, banking advisory post, etc, etc. Buying houses and flats. Lying.
According to todays Daily Mail , 3 Labour MPs are under ” suicide watch” courtesy of bleeding heart and Broon Goon Ian Austin.
There’s Prime Mentalist, Sion Simon , and who could be the other Labour MP?
Name on a used Tenner to the underssigned.
The exact timing of Brown’s final demise will be five minutes before Sean Woodward scuttles across the floor of the house
What, holding hands with Stephen Byers (not a subordinate clause this time)
I do hope this guy features heavily in the election campaign. Sometimes you have to listen to people before it becomes apparent that they are twats, with this guy you only have to see him to realise he is a twat. In terms of twatishness he is a sort of Derek Draper on steroids.
PS needless to say I was referring to Sion Simon.
I should have known they’d have a Minister for Wanking.
Not only that, they also have a husband of the second-home secretary for wanking.
And they say Gordon has no strategy!
And what about the rat that joined a sinking ship, Quentin ‘make me a minister’ Davies.
#355 Yeah problem being Portillo was actually a pretty decent politician.
It will be much more fun watching the Labour cabinet joining the dole queues or their banking chums’ businesses.
Although eager, he’s not even that good at sucking cock.
Epidemics aren’t what they used to be.
Sion is a complete fuckwit.
Can we not bombard him on twitter with some choice words?
absolute Hoon
this guy epitomises all that is bad with this Government
can’t wait til he’s unemployed
Apropos swine flu anti-viral medication, I suppose that everyone knows now that although the country has stockpiles of Tamiflu, and although swine flu has already arrived in the UK, supplies of anti-viral drugs have yet to be issued to pharmacies and GPs’ surgeries. My blood ran cold when I read on another web site that the Government has not yet told Roche how to distribute the drugs because they (the Government) “want to control the distribution”. I just know that the Government is going to screw this up. Apparently, the “right” time to take Tamiflu (or the other drug) is after exposure and before developing symptoms. But how are you going to do that, while the pharmacies and GPs’ surgeries don’t have any of the drugs?
I asked in a Sainsbury pharmacy last night if they had any Tamiflu. The pharmacist’s assistant said that they had been told that they could only dispense Tamiflu “in an emergency” and, anyway, they didn’t have any.
The Government is going to wait, I bet, until all the MPs have got their doses, and the MPs’ families and mistresses, and not release Tamiflu until after a photo opportunity featuring Government ministers looking caring about swine flu patients.
Tamiflu is a vaccine aimed at the old Chinese avian ‘flu virus.
What the fuck relevance this has to Mexican swine ‘flu is anyone’s guess.
I’ve never even heard of him before and would wish this to continue indefinitely.
No further comment.
Unfortunately Sion Simon is to video editing what Tom Watson is to subtle dialogue.
For a long while Sion Simon wrote a column for the Daily Telegraph!
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