McBride Changes His Number
Another sighting of Damian McBride, apparently he has been circulating his new mobile number to his Lobby drinking buddies. Guess that means Guido won’t be able to send him any more text messages.
Maybe he can get a job on the Telegraph, after all he has plenty of experience writing copy for them. He could always write a book. If he got one out in time for Labour Party conference he could trouser a quick six-figure advance for a smear and tell book. Obviously it won’t be worth so much after the general election…
He might even end up judging talent shows.
He’d probably still try to smear his least favourite contestants
Once a bum chum always a bum chum. This fat facsimile of his boss was never ever going anywhere. Bet we still pay him a fortune.
I don’t think that somebody who was recently involved in a government that is ‘purer than pure’ would ever consider smearing anybody.
LOL
Notice that my post (85) is perfectly coherent logically as a general principle. I never said who ’somebody’ would be, if anyone, and neither did I say what government, if any, would in fact be ‘purer than pure’.
But does the current government come into the category of one that is ‘purer than pure’? I seem to remember everybody saying it was.
Or most people were saying so at any rate.
Which does not of course mean that most people were actually right.
Smearkat Manor.
Simples!
Poor Flower. :-(
You have already nailed mcbride. Why the repeated hits? Is that all you’ve got?
Here is a reality check people, DC is a lightweight, the Tories are the do nothing party. Browns YouTube video may have been a bit over the top but you need a leader to be confident. DC is a good PR man but he is a novice.
Drop dead Derek
Gordoon is a good example of a good PR man, no, I don’t think so, sure he is no novice he has been in power for 12 years, he is so heavy he has gone through the floor, as for confidence, well that demands decisiveness, Gord has not displayed that quality.
I just cannot believe that anyone could ever support Stalin Brown, ever! To still support him seems incredible. My head spins with it. Where do these people come from?
Nigeria: Nigerians Can Vote in EU Poll – Christian Party
http://allafrica.com/stories/200904290215.html
Bet they don’t open centers for voter registration in Austrailia or Spain seeing as they would lose votes from people who have fled Labour wrecked UK.
Dave rave footage
So dancing & music is now illegal is it?
Not surprised
Is he on o2?
Sounds more like C2H5OH to me.
No, I think that’s the swine flu virus.
soon to be CH2OH (I think)????? from a plastic bottle
or maybe CH3OH – it was a long time ago!
I think I’ll leave the House and comeback and start again before the speaker notices ….oh **** he’s noticed.
Quaaludes 714, more like.
no 15 speical brews and a kebab with jaqui ” da porn star” smith
We’ve got enough rats on this sinking ship, ta.
That doesnt mean you wont use him though.
According to Iain Dale, Teflon McBride’s lobby pass has not been withdrawn.
Another petition to No 10?
29053
90210
020 7925 0918. Fax only
The Tuscan doesn’t do fax.
Nice….Good number to plug there…!
Nothing about that libellous episode conformed to the ‘purer than pure’ standards which the public were associating with Labour in 1997.
I think he’d be great as a competitor on Strictly…with his little twinkle toes pointing and that snub nose in the air…..
Sweet!
With Nadine as his partner?
Why would a vagrant, a cad of the road as it were, need a mobile telephone? Don’t they do a sort of honeybee waggledance to tell each other where somebody has thrown up their kebab?
I always thought the honeybee waggledance related to one of those discarded flat cigarette butts.
I just love that image!
0908 082 9233
Try it. Its ringing but he’s not picking up.
got a brazillan boy and a posh git called oh lord that small
An 0908 number for a mobile? Hmmm…. I’ll pass, methinks
Rumour going around that Damian 666 will replace Steve Morgan as Peter Hain’s eminence grease.
Hain may be deeply unlikeable but he’s not stupid
If grease is involved, why not the greaseast of them all – the dreadful “I’m desperately trying to be so English and want my peerage” Vaz?
“Hain may be deeply unlikeable but he’s not stupid”
Er..yes he is.
W.W.
Are you referring to the oleaginous Keith Vazoline ? A fine fellow.
Pass (the) port anyone ??
Publishing the new number would result in a denial of service and render his phone useless.
Right on. It will be on the No 10 website with any luck.
Mmmmm. Waggledance – a fine drop of ale.
Won’t te brothers “Grim” fix him up for past services?
”apparently he has been circulating his new mobile number to his Lobby drinking buddies.”
Can’t have taken long then.
Nadine has got his number.
** CLAPS **
LOL
I reckon McBride is going to turn up as a columnist on either The Mirror (most likely, though elsewhere possible). Part of the deal to stop him spilling the beans – or else a short call to Max Clifford could earn him a few bucks, I’m sure.
Or even back in the same role as a closet close advisor – which would mean that the status quo ante is preserved. What a depressing thought.
is in the closet like lord peter ” i left cabint twice cause i am a hoon ” mandleson once was?
Iain Dale got a post up suggesting McBride has still got a lobby pass.
Did Sir Michael Shite stand a round as a qpq for 666’s number?
Have there been any DRAPER sightings?
He seems to have gone to ground. Why no annoucement re whether he’s still editor of LabourLost?
Is his local Labour Party reviewing his continued membership?? Who is Draper’s MP? I see that Rudi Viz announced he wanted to remove Damian McBride so why no announcement from Draper’s local party??
Yes I want a Draper sighting too…he’s lying very low….Told you Guido should attach a little incentive to get him a few stalkers – bottle champers for the best spotted blog. Just like Heat magazine. I’m so Highbrow.
A good start is to watch for the disappearance of “Member of BACP” from his website:
http://www.derekdraper.net/home.htm
but he’s more likely to leave it on isn’t he? in a not at Berkeley in Berkeley kinda way………….honesty not being a huge facet of our derek’s make up….?
My Draper Google alert has had nothing new for days.
Not very surprising – his Twatters must be lost without him.
I reckon he has gone off to make his own home videos…
Dolly never lies very low. Most of his lies are really big ones.
Attaching a Peckham Rolex to the chap might work – doubt he’d notice it, either.
If the government with which Draper is associated is purer than pure, surely Draper must be alright himself.
But then, the premise of my post (90) is false, as this government is anything but purer than pure, although most people once seemed to think it was. Therefore, as the premise fails, there might be a different conclusion. I use the word ‘might’ to avoid a libel action.
The scenario in my post (90) is however coherent. I never actually said that the government was purer than pure. I only said what would follow if it were.
Rumours of Phil Woolas to resign!
F****** Hell, they will want my arse next.
And mine.
Oh I have been fired already.
Ooh I’ve an idea. he could play Billy Bunter in a TV series. He’d be fab at it. All that practice..”Well, I didn’t send any nasty lying e-mails, and they weren’t nasty and lying anyway…and anyway it was all Derek’s idea…Yelp! Yaroo! Get off me with that cricket bat Gordon, yaroo…I’m telling…boo hoo hoo
You watched Billy Bunter!!! Oooh!!
(me too lol..)
Read em. Not watched em. Philistine!
I think he would be better playing Billy Blunt the lying Kunt, do you remember that Viz classic. :-)
But he’s a dead ringer. Fat, bulbous, red faced, sneaky, thick, dishonest and unattractive. Though of course, I got a soft spot for Bunter.
Bit harsh… “Philistine”?
Are they still in print or are you my age really….?
Blake’s7,
Gordon Brown is the very epitome of ‘Spoilt Bastard’ of Viz fame.
Prancing about proclaiming how fucking clever he is, wandering through department stores wrecking everything he comes into contact with, want that, want that, want that, buy this for me mummy, do that for me mummy, aren’t I clever mummy. And then when it all goes tits up and she’s run out of money indulging the little emporer it’s ‘I hate you you horrible old crone.’
Which is where we’re at now.
Country bankrupt. No money left and now suddenly it’s everybody else’s fault. The yanks, the banks, the ‘age of irresponsibility’, global problem. Fuck all to do with me. I’ll take you all down with me you ungrateful bastards. I’m fucking brilliant me.
YAROOO!!!!!!
Ello Ello Ello!
“Well I never”, ejaculated Bunter
“The red-faced lying hoon-ness is most terrific”, remarked Hurree Jamset Ram Singh.
Ooh Admiral with your banter you are spoiling us, but I’m just a bimbo with a vague interest in flirting, have you seen my site?
NewGirl’s bimbo banter
Where’s Quelch when you need him most?
I am definitely NOT your age The Admiral. I know this because my face is unlined, my breasts pert and my hair fulsome. We got a family hoard going back years. With Jennings, Biggles and Just William….I got brothers you see.
Ohh Cato yes. Quelch needs to fix his gimlet eye on a few people and get them to construe….that would sort them out
“I know this because my face is unlined, my breasts pert and my hair fulsome.”
You’re not Kate Garraway, then. *strikes name no. 12 from longish list*
offended you might ever have thought me capable of shagging Draper TT
Malory Towers and St Clares too, as it happens…I had v traditional taste as a child…
I don’t know anyone that thinks Kate has either, NG.
At an early date with the young and highly impressionable Tuscana, I suggested in passing that La Blyton had in fact been imprisoned in her later life for paedophilia. The fragrant T returned to her parents’ place and, unable to sleep, wept rivers of grief for the now-lost-forever heroine of her youth. Been laffin’ about it ever since (well, I have, anyway.)
don’t care…there’s nothing like a bit of Mr PinkWhistle to jolly things up when you’re 7…..
Talking of Mr Pink Whistle …he did go round righting wrongs (unlike McBride, who went round writing wrongs) and we could certainly do with a bit of that at the mo
Pinkwhistle – was he on Captain Pugwash as well?!?!
As a point of order, EB was no paedo, that was merely me being ghastly.
ooh you are a tease, TT…I think I’m going to confiscate your tuckbox
Mildly OT but looking at the picc of Kate Garraway in the mail this morning, am I then only one to think that, sans the bouffant hair she would be the spitting image of George Formby? Have they ever been seen in the same banjolele together?
Can I borrow some pretty please :) x
for a small fee…
Name it…….
I’m expecting a 10 bob postal order………..
Will a 9 bob note do?
Is that an example of Quantitive Easing?
Bet you got the “Famous Five” as well. Jolly Hockeysticks ;)
And the Secret 7?
And the Guildford Four
http://www.diy-therapy.com/
He can not be serious. Or can he?
Ha ha, mate. What a twat. Labour-minded people? Why don’t you just say it like it is, Dolly; the insane.
He has not gone away, you know.
Tipping points are “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.”[1] Gladwell defines a tipping point as a sociological term: “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point.”[2] The book seeks to explain and describe the “mysterious” sociological changes that mark everyday life. As Gladwell states, “Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do.”[3] The examples of such changes in his book include the rise in popularity and sales of Hush Puppies shoes in the mid-1990s and the precipitous drop in the New York City crime rate after 1990.
I been at work all day guys, how was PMQs…? Know bout the GURKHAS but tell me about Brown….how’d he look?
Does shit ever change colour?
Did he gurn? Did he cringe? Did he smile inappropriately like a deranged freak?
New tactic, run effectively by Jack Straw before – bore everyone into a coma. Cleggy did well – brilliant scoff at Brown’s reply to Gurkhas. No, bit shit tho all in all – pig flu – we’re all gonna die or some such bollox.
Dog shit does, but it still remains dog shit.
He didn’t look too good. I think he needs a holiday.
Apparently Mexico is quite nice this time of year.
hee hee hee
You bet he did………;)
Hee Hee indeed och aye the noo
And the Remove exploded into peals of laughter, as Quelch grabbed Bunter by the ear and threw him out
PMQs was a well orchestrated collaborative effort by Clegg and Cameron. Their combined focus on the gurkhas in that session I am certain, coloured the debate. I am sure that is why there were so many NuLab abstensions.
If the vote on MP’s expenses does indeed happen tomorrow and they have another defeat that will be the end of them: no doubt at all.
I agree. When a few commentators were remarking that Cameron had blown PMQs with a rather lacklustre effort, in reality he and Clegg were lining Brown up for a right sucker punch.
Fantastic day for democracy in the UK.
FAntastic day for the Gurkas
It was a coup. Pre-arranged photo op with Joanna L afterwards proves it.
He quite literally tried to run away sharpish before the speaker called him back to class, which made all the other kids chuckle.
Yes, McBroon was making his customary bolt for the door before being called back to make his (non) statement on Afghanistan.
Many hoots and howls of derision.
Nokias flying tonight!
Hey I might be incompetnet but I’m not thick – I have nests to feather, just like Tony did at about this point in his career.
O/T, but the Curse of McJonah continues to wreak its havoc:
Andy Murray, having been in the presence of the Accursed One within the past week has lost to Juan Monaco in Rome (and probably also lost to Juan Rome in Monaco…!)
serve him right, he’s a bloody sweaty sock too
One could begin to go off you newgirl – the fact that Brown and his ilk are hoons does not mean that all Scots are hoons – just as all the English Labour hoons do not mean that all the English are hoons.
You’re a bit of a rough diamond at the moment, Newgirl, but I’m sure you’ll polish up just fine.
PS Liked your earlier CV
moderate me for racism Guido…
Moderate racism is fine newgirl – so long as it’s on the basis that we’re all Brits together (even Guido, really, in his heart of hearts) standing up to the onerous impositions of Johnny Foreigner upon our land and people!
Ok ok I’m penitent…but there just seems to be a preponderance of Scots pissing me off in westminster…of course shouldn’t generalise, but they are setting a very bad example…(and Murray pisses me off because he wouldn’t support England, and I would always support Scotland against anyone else except England, and I just think it was a bit mealy mouthed of him….specially as he’ll be surrounded by Brits of ALL hues cheering him on at Wimbledon..
I can’t stand any Scots at all at the moment and I’m half Scots
then you are half allowed to say that anon
half scot here too – embarassed for that monklands clan. never mind, won’t be long now.
strange how a govt downfall began just because mcbride decided to spill guido’s pint.
class.
there’s a politics case study on this in future, i’m convinced.
With any luck he is laid low with swine flu, which started in the Americas.
Is McBride asexual? He seems to hate women and nobody has ever seen him with a girlfriend?
Well I’m not sure you can put that down to his choice anon….
Is he gay? He seems very pally with Fat Nick Brown.
Lets ask Derek if he’s shagged him. That will decide the point
Don’t you just LOVE this thread……!
Yes, all me. Should be on commission. GUIDO!!!!
fat on fat action uuuuuuuurgh
I think ladies would actually have to find a man attractive, before you could ask such a question.
But I hear he has a nice personality though.
Are you the sister of that Greyfriars schoolchum of Bunters, Beefy?
The cabinet don’t need real partners; the public have been footing their private porn expenses for years as evidenced by one getting caught recently.
Massive quantities of alcohol can affect one sexually (Source: NHS Direct):
“As well as being directly related to many serious diseases, drinking large amounts of alcohol can also lead to poor sexual performance”
Symptoms of alcohol misuse include:
“•sexual problems, such as impotence
•infertility”
But, my particular favourites in respect of Mr McBride:
“•workplace problems (such as absenteeism and impaired performance),
•financial problems
•homelessness”
Is this now a dating site?
His sexuality is not an issue nor should it be.
He is a nasty bastard. That is the issue.
What’s he doing in the lobby. Who invited him in? Why didn’t security toss the fucker out? Can I just wander around the lobby handing out business cards too?
JGM2’s smears, sleaze, vicious lies, bogus facts and rigged statistics faxed to the newspaper of your choice. Copy guaranteed. Will work for ministerial salary and copper-bottomed pension.
I could do that. Gissa job.
My current Black Ops expert is Grandad Quango. Expenses out tomorrow will reveal the exceptional high salary he was paid. He even received some of it. Enough to keep him in bingo cards and lottery tickets anyway. He needs no more, the poor man. He thinks Heath is still in power. He might even be right
.
So now expenses are all being checked under the harsh light of the blog world I might need to explain how an 94 year old ex greengrocer is qualified to lead a “High tech, cutting edge, engagement and interactive forum,design centre, and platform for the policy facilitation from the MP’s office.”
Send your CV to the constituency fax number JGM2. If you know how to load the printer you’ll be twice as knowledgeable as Grandad.
Regarding the Lumley, Clegg, Cameron, Gurkha photo op—
Which one is Cameron?
Its hard to tell since none of those three bankrupted the country
The good looking one,Fuckwit
The one with the long hair and gormless grin (as if he’s at a Rave).
That’s Lumley you ***
If he did write ‘the book’, it would level the Labour party and possibly the MSM as well. Shame it would be so hard to actually read it.
If the labour party is purer than pure none of its members or whatever are going to write a book exposing all their impure conduct, for mammon. More to the point, if Labour is purer than pure, there will be no ‘impure’ conduct to write a book about in the first place. Case closed.
Quite. He would make millions…
Oops. A grammar error. I think ‘were’ rather than ‘is’ would better convey the hypothetical nature of the scenario I was trying to describe in the above post(81).
Even though ‘were’ would have been more appropriate than ‘is’, and a few other such grammatical improvements could have been made, post (81) submitted by myself, is still true. It does not say what the labour party actually is or is not, but only what would follow from one ‘if’ condition.
Brown could put him in the Lords and make him, oh, Business minister or something. Sorry Mandy, time to go (again).
But such an ennoblement would help undermine any remaining belief that Labour is purer than pure.
I know many would wish to send the Bride a personal message so would some kind person help matters along by supplying the new number?
If he tried to capitalise financially on his notoriety that would be a further breach of the once prevalent belief that labour was purer than pure.
He may have changed his number, but I doubt he’ll change his tune.
You were bloody useless. For that reason, Damian — you’re fired!
I am mortified – I tried to get the following petition on No10, but it got rejected. The cheeky bastards thought I was trying to be funny. Have they seen Broon’s performances – they are seriously scary! They obviosuly thought the bloke who put the “PM Resign” petition up WAS serious.
Interesting contrast, I thought.
See the response from No 10 below:
“Hi,
I’m sorry to inform you that your petition has been rejected.
Your petition was classed as being in the following categories:
* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government
policy
If you wish to edit and resubmit your petition, please follow
the following link:
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/PMYoutubeban/
You have four weeks in which to do this, after which your
petition will appear in the list of rejected petitions.
Your petition reads:
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to: ‘Stop
appearing on Youtube’
As a concerned parent, I urge Gordon Brown to stop appearing on
Youtube. I think his general demeanor and style are
frightening to children and most adults. There should be a
form of restriction on Youtube to warn people of the scary
content – perhaps a type of “R” or horror rating as applied to
video games and films.
— the ePetitions team
“
Seems perfectly “in the public interest ” to me, whats the problem.
I am thinking of petitioning the following
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace any future youtube announcements with episodes of sponge Bob Squarepants as the children seem to like them and they are far more sensible than most of your pronouncements from the Bunker recently.
They let my pisstake go through, they actually seemed to think I was serious when I posted a petition calling for the election to be held off for as long as possible :p
Think it actually got a couple of signatures too, lol
Just cut the lines to the bunker, and it doesn’t matter what his number is
I wonder if he has the same ringtone? You wouldn’t expect him to change his tune too, would you?
This wretched individual should be excluded from all journalistic dealings. But have the media circus got the balls?
Even if Dolly hasn’t been spotted, Kate has:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1175089/Are-early-mornings-GMTV-taking-toll-heavily-pregnant-Kate-Garraway.html
Looks a bit spotted too, poor lass
Still looks better than Dolly,(Not hard though).
Still a looker, though.
Bad attitude though, Not attractive. She deserves Draper
“The Health Experts are very expert.”
He could always try sucking up to Mandy.
What’ this ‘up to’? Seems a touch superfluous…
Nick Robinson calls it spectacularly wrong on the Politics show and it looks like he’s missed the big story again !
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/the_daily_politics/7659039.stm
He’s gone to Manchester to watch the footy.
sorry full addy is
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/the_daily_politics/7659039.stm
Be a fitting end to the day if Arsenal win tonight eh Nick ; )
Has Creepy Phil Woolas resigned yet?
Why should he?
All together now: ‘He’s done nothing wrong’.
Anyway, immigration started in America.
But when England went to America we went there and started killing the current population….
Oh hang on, what were those knife crime statistics?
Ok, hes down, out and hopefully not coming back like mandelson.
I have no sympathy for him, but don’t you think its time to move on to the Next target Guido? Plenty more b*******s left!
They a talking about resignation and a vote of no confidence on The Archers. Omen or what?
Maybe no one will want to buy a book of lies. Draper’s lecture was only valued at a fiver at the Hay Festival, not enough to cover his return coach fare and a night out on White Star cider.
You are right, we have been read to from the book of lies for years, but if he wrote a book of the truth…. (always assuming he can remember what that is…)
That much?
Ello Ello Ello!
no guido youve heard it wrong hes got a job with 118247
[...] of a humiliating defeat on a vote on Gurkhas. The ethically questionable spin doctor has already been gotten rid of and the prognosis is not [...]
I think both the mouse and the keyboard is fucked
O/t, but great fun – at 19:30 Weds:-
‘resign’ petition 30,057 (was it around 22k yesterday?)
’support’ petition 11 (7 yesterday!)
YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!
When is someone in MSM going to write up this interesting differential?
Best of all, when (and how) is 21st_century going to spin it?
Keep ‘em coming!
Dead easy. Without a calculator those endorsing an immediate election increased by 30% yesterday while those urging Brown to stay on increased by over 50%.
And that is how Labour have presented every figure they’ve manipulated since 1997. And probably before.
The “support” petition is an ironic one, anyway.
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/PMsupport/
The BBC is now “reporting” that the Labour whips are saying that the expenses vote on Thursday is basically a confidence vote in Brown.
Probably far too late to lobby your MP now, but it might help if the MSM actually carry stuff tomorrow that makes them all “think” about their voting.
It’ll be a hoot.
Think of all those hard line pigs-in-the-troughers who categorically don’t want this vote passed – but to vote against may bring down the trough.
So they vote YES – and then are mega-pissed off.
It’s a no-win situation.
I see the new ‘Private Eye’ is buttering you up in it’s ‘Hackwatch’ column…before laying into you towards the end.
“Congratulations to blogger Paul Staines on his spectacular scoop…”
However soon enough they are moaning about hypocrisy because you slagged off McBride’s actions but still display ‘jaw-dropping’ comments about Brown and his kid from November 2006 – “These make McBride’s smears look almost gentle”
Obviously they can’t tell the diffference between general comments left on a blog and an employee of the state, paid out of the public purse, smearing MPs and their families with innuendos!!!
Dead-tree press still at 6s and 7s…
Now Charlie Brooker on ‘Newswipe’ is laying into you (as well as Draper & co.).
You’ve made quite a few enemies in the MSM Fawkes! Avoid those woods…
Charlie Brooker is probably a fellow member of McPrides Badger Watching group.
Nah – I understand McBride (and Mandy) have absolutely no interest in Badgers
I have observed some funnies in Private eye which look suspiciously like some of the quips left on blogs like these, co incidence surely hmmmm
Apparantly there were angry scenes at a parliamentary labour party meeting last night. The anger was directed at Gordon’s inexperienced advisers for letting the PM make as ass of himself. Interesting that MP’s seem to expect advisers to act as the PM’s keeper. Shouldn’t a grown man be able to prevent himself from making an ass of himself. Seems they are missing McBride and judging Gordon’s deteriorating performance so is he.
Especially when that same “grown man” supposedly has an IQ of 180 – an urban myth surely? It amazes me just how a so-called genius can be so bleeding stupid.
First informing the markets that you’re gonna sell off your gold, and then waiting until the price bottoms out before you sell. That’s what geniuses do apparently.
There is no way on earth he has an IQ of 180. In fact I’ve read his IQ is actually only 125. Which while high is below the standard required for Mensa. He makes a big deal of being selected for an accelerated education program as a kid, however the test was at 10 and it’s reported that he struggled greatly to get through the accelerated school program. Mensa will not test anyone below the age of 10 1/2. I know, my daughter passed her test for Mensa at 10 1/2 with an IQ of over 140.
Replace Intelligence Quotient with Idiot Quotient, and it all makes perfect sense.
Oh, there’s no denying he has an above average IQ and is extremely well educated and culturally read. But a genius? No bloody way. Hell, my IQ is supposedly genius level but I wouldn’t say I was able to run the country. Mind, I reckon I could do a better job than the bloody hoons in charge now.
The clever nitwit is common enough. Clive Sinclair and the C5. Tony Blair and cash points. Ed Balls and err, everything.
Sir Clive Sinclair was a genius ahead of his time. I remember fondly my days hacking the code on my ZX Speccy games….
Oh hang on, that’s giving away my age there a bit…
It’s been said before, but they missed out the decimal point.
Gordon’s IQ is 18.0 . Bloody decimal points!
But I remember Tim NicebutDim …
When told the manager wanted to talk to him for financial advice, the answer was
‘Buy high and sell low’.
I did his IQ test in line with all my training and qualifications. He did score 180 on the dartboard and in the test i gave him even used the right crayons. Only cut himself once as well.
Takes a real genius to cut themselves with a crayon
http://www.standpointmag.co.uk/fear-and-filth-at-browns-number-10-may-09-features-nick-cohen-gordon-brown-martin-bright-damian-mcbride-guido-fawkes-ed-balls-ch?page=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C2
Good piece by Nick Cohen on Mcbride/Brown saga….As an example…
“Take this confrontation between Brown and the Labour MP and former social security minister, Frank Field…. Field put down Parliamentary questions asking how many householders would lose out. Brown refused to answer them. Field asked for a Commons debate. Brown refused to give him one. Finally, Brown called Field to his office. “No one will lose out,” he cried.
“Why don’t you go on the record and say that?” Field asked.
Instead of answering a legitimate question, Brown pushed his face into Field’s and with features contorted with anger, screamed, “You’ve always hated me, haven’t you? You’re always trying to do me down.”….
Those gays get really bitchy with each other sometimes.
Not until you read this article by Nick Cohen do you fully understand what Guido Falkes has done for this country. Only history will give credit for what I believe has been a very brave stand by our hero and without support.
Three cheers and arise Sir Guido.
you gotta laugh
the BBC, having spent all day waxing lyrical about swine flu, have a programme on tonight around 11pm asking the question ‘ has the media exaggerated the swine flu story’ – you gotta laugh haha
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Smells like victory!
Remember AIDS ?
Ought to have been about 6 of us standing on the planet just about now.
NEXT ?
What about Global warming ? Yes, there’s a great ruse to up our taxes.
The anger was directed at Gordon’s inexperienced advisers for letting the PM make as ass of himself.
He needs advisors for that? I thought he was eminently qualified to do that by himself?
Surely no single person could be responsible for such a monumental fuck-up?
Well he’s not single – he’s got a beard, by the name of Sarah!
Responsibility – ah, I remember it well.
Okay. I’ve had enough of this calling Sarah Brown a ‘beard’. The accepted phrase for a marriage of convenience by a male homosexualist is to refer to the ‘wife’ as ‘a whiff of lavender’.
The ying to the yang of that is to refer to (say) Martina Navratilova’s ‘husband’ (if she has one) as a ‘beard’.
Fucking obvious really.
Do you know how close to the truth this is?
I heard a feint disturbing noise early this morning as I got home. Frightened, I called the police who found nothing, but they have just called to say it was Tony Blair laughing his socks off.
Surely that was also Cherie.
No that was a celebratory…….; no I won’t go there. Sweet dreams everyone.
What’s Derek Draper been up to now? Kate Garraway looking dog rough:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1175089/Are-early-mornings-GMTV-taking-toll-heavily-pregnant-Kate-Garraway.html
So would you in the advanced stages of pregnancy – its tough being a woman especially when you have a dependent husband.
Is she the one that lives with that smelly old tramp?
Are we talking about Mcbride here?
Would anyone want to live with Mcbride?
Smelly old tramp ? Is nt that the James Smirkwell bloke who rents apartments and leaves them looking like doss-houses ?
Shows how good the GMTV makeup artists are.
I don’t think the morning sickness is down to pregnancy. Sleep in a different room girl!
What is McBride’s employment status please? He might well have “left” or “gone”, but does that mean he has been sacked for misconduct or whatever? If sacked, how come he has a pass for the Commons? Why are we not being told.
In short, if McBride is still on the public payroll, Brown will be toast by teatime tomorrow (or is that tea by toastime tomorrow?….You decide)
Muffin for supper or perhaps crumpet for breakfast?
Did hear he preferred Spotted Dick at any time.
Henry VII.
Don’t get it.
When he appeared on the Weakest Link, he was asked who was the son of Henry VIII, and this was his reply.
Do keep up.
Bloody muppet
Edward II wasn’t it?
What’s The Weakest Link?
Goodbye.
Goodbye and thanks for your help. Now what’s The Weakest Link?
Are you serious? BBC quiz show hosted by Anne Robinson. Contestants vote for the “weakest link” who then gets voted off the show.
Who’s Anne Robinson? Any relation to Nick?
Well they both work for the BBC…
But no, I think Anne Robinson has more balls than Nick
Well I wanted to say Oh for goodness sake it’s Edward V ( then I realised he was one of the Princes in the Tower, son of Edward IV, killed by a damien lookalike called Buckingham working for the tudors who then blamed the deadly deed on Richard III who was ‘whiter than white’). The answer was in fact Edward VI. His grandfather was Henry VII who seized the throne from the last plantaganet Richard III, on the basis that he was more honorable, except he wasn’t.( Tony versus Gordon?). Not to imply that Tony was honorable. It’s all about power and something about it corrupting absolutely. There was a woman in there also,called Elizabeth Woodwille, she sold her soul to Edward IV, tried to sell her daughter to Richard III and when that didn’t work did sell her daughter to Henry VII. Think her second name was Harriet.
Thanks Nell, at least I got the name right if not the suffix :)
it was actually celebrity mastermind I think
Edward the VII wasn’t it? Son of the third wife (Jane Seymour?).
Who is Anne Robinson? Is she Tony Robinson’s mother?
No, she invented the barley drink at Wimbledon.
It was celebrity mastermind actually not the weakest link.
Comparing Richard 111 to “Tony” is like Helen of Troy to a horses arse.
I can live with “gordon” as Henry V11 who should have the title slayer of children after his name.He was anecdotally a mean vicious vindictive bastard whose only saving grace was that he died.
Thank you Rob- I feel absolutely the same about Henry VII – and you’ve brightened my morning as I sit here with my first cup of tea. Morning folks.
It started in England, and went to America, surely?
Guido: This issue has legs follow it up.
Connect Union have written to Mandeliar and complained about the action of Nortel and the administrators Ernst & Young in the recent redundancy of 228 staff where :-
1. No notice was given (or consultation period).
2. Workers were advised to claim statutory redundancy pay from the National Insurance Fund.
3. Ernst & Young representative (the administrators) said they were DELIBERATELY breaking the law as it was cheaper to pay the fine than give the workers what they were due. Of course the Govt. gets the proceeds of the fine not the workers.
I’m not a lawyer but surely any Nortel assets left in Country should be seized.
Pretty sure that Ernst & Young MD should come under pressure to resign and everybody involved in the advice. Pretty sure that deliberately breaking the law like this and statutory obligations warrants more than a fine.
Of course Mandeliar has done nothing as it won’t bring him column inches (ooer missus) well he has probably got that one wrong as well.
So much for Labour looking after the workers. Roll on the Euro elections, total massacre for NuLab.
All people are equal but they can’t all buy plugs, porn, houses, Flatscreens at the prole’s expenses. Let them eat coal dust I say.
Nortel’s management are bunch of hoons. We had an ex Nortel man as CFO at an old company. He started a shouting match with the CEO when the CEO demanded that all workers got a pay rise after not having had one for 3 years. The CFO’s attitude was “If they don’t like it they can fuck off”. The problem was they were fucking off, to the company’s competitors for more money, leaving the fuckwits the company didn’t want still there.
The whisper among publishing insiders is that Draper has been touting his kiss-n-tell round the agencies – with the working title “To Fall Like Lucifer” – but every one of them has been unavailable ‘in a meeting.’ One onlooker said, “No one wants to pay up front for a title that will be remaindered before it even hits the shops. Not even Max Clifford is returning his calls.”
I did return his call and told him he was a hoon with a beard, no degree, a wife with decent funbags and asked if he saw Anton coming out the the backdoor at 09:00 this morning.
Are you he wasn’t coming into the back door?
Is that the door leading to the back passage?
full circle – we are back to Draper himself
7 inches.
Seems like a nice boy.
Ah, you’re back, but I see from your note that the long sessions with the penis pump didn’t work.
That’s no way to address the prime mentalist.
TB must certainly be saying ‘I told you so’. However, time was when he said Labour would be purer than pure. Everyone here needs to email every last Labour MP to tell them, before tomorrow’s vote, that their reputations are now seriously questioned, and that it will be the final condemnation of them, if they support the insanely generous expenses proposals on Thursday. If they want to be remembered as anything other than leeches on the public who betrayed their own professed ideology by their own personal greed (for how else could their own poor voters view it?) they must vote against any expenses which could be considered lifestyle expenses. They must reject any proposal which would involve them being paid extra for doing what they are supposedly being paid anyway to do, or that would enable them to keep their ’second homes’ paid for by the public, after leaving parliament. Send really pressurising emails that will corner their consciences if they have any, and include the odd reference to their erstwhile pretensions to being purer than pure.
On the other hand we could just hang the fuckers.
Seems like a good idea.
Cheaper than keeping them in jail.
The Labourgraph is reporting that Gordon was exhibiting signs of exhaustion at PMQ’s today. Is the Labourgraph beginning to change its tune? or is it too, missing Damien. It quotes examples from his speech where he referred to President Bush when he meant Obama – referred to himself as sensible when he meant sensitive (surely not!) and spoke of exports when he meant experts. Very JohnP. Time for Harriet to take the reins, and don’t think she’ll bring Damien back either.
There definitely seems to be a change there, much more Tory oriented that it was.
Mind, when The Sun starts rooting for the opposition you know there’s a change in the air. Last time they waited till about a week before the election. This time they’re turning on the government an entire year ahead!
Maybe it has something to do with plunging readership numbers or even an overwhelming atmosphere across the land that says labour has lost the plot.
It’s like the Sun can’t wait for the next election – just like the rest of us.
Or Murdoch is trying to squeeze some concession out of Brown before the next election?
I think the whothefuckarewe-agraph has been shocked into a self-examination and found itself wondering who its target audience really is. Not the Guardianistas is perhaps their conclusion.
what makes u think it will be a year , have you not seen the days events ?
She won’t be taking the reins just yet (when maybe at hoe she might).
You will know when McMutter is leaving, he will get a new SPad the day before; Montag from Fahrenheit 451.
Guido -
You’re being too triumphalist. In victory, magnaminity.
Or even magnanimity.
Or just kick the fat hoon while he’s down. He who lives by the sword….
Can expect it heated till it’s red hot and then shoved up his arse?
Exactly.
“Time for Harriet to take the reins.”
I’d pay good public money to see that.
I wouldn’t!
I’m sure you’d be expected to
Only by Harriet – her ego is greater than Gordon’s
Reins? Just needs the leather corset and she’ll be ready to cross the floor to the Tories
Tell her to get off my fucking rocking horse.
She’d never get on horseback – she’s far too class conscious to indulge in such an upper crust hobby….all horsy types are landed gentry hunting folk, didn’t you know?
Are you being ironic ? Harriet Harman is an old girl of St Paul’s, one of Britain’s most elite schools. She’s also the niece of the Countess of Longford. Harman is one of the worst hypocrites in a Cabinet full of them !!!
She might. She’s the niece of the late Countess of Longford.
One facist replaced by another. There’s equality.
A bridle, saddle and stirrups might get me going.
Just give me a fucking whip.
I’d prefer a Walnut Whip.
and spurs, good doctor
Too many whips in Parliament as it is…
“and spurs, good doctor”
NewGirl, doing anything this weekend? ;)
oh stop…she giggled prettily….you’ll give me a bad name on this blog…
No, just a bad name in my town ;)
!!. for once, speechless!!
My pleasure.
No way I’m flirting with Brown though, even if it would make him speechless. Will save it all for NewGirl ;)
Sure McBride will flirt with Brown if he asks though…
Oh yes New Girl, without the lines on your face and the pert breasts and fullsome hair, reading Billy Bunter.
Spring has sprung and the male sap is rising, very clever.
You’ve got them champing at the bit, go for it.
I would, but Desperate Housewives is on
Duplicitios or what?
is that Spanish?
New Girl, I’ve got a cock the size of a Hornby express and an IQ to suit, and as far as I’m concerned you’ve pulled, although you’d better not be like that other kunt I linked up with on this blog who turned out to be a fat, bald 55 year old who still lived with his mum. Called himself ‘thick as thieves.’
He did a good bj though.
When did Guido’s formerly excellent blog become an online meeting place for near third-age readers of puerile fiction?
Thought you were watching Desperate Housewives? Goto bed , you’ve got work in the morning and you’ll be tired when you get back.
Hi guys , what’s happened today? What’s happened ? My tits are pert.
“When did Guido’s formerly excellent blog become an online meeting place for near third-age readers of puerile fiction?”
I’d say somewhere around 2005.
Earlier she asked Guido for money. In Spanish th word is ‘Puta’.
oh I’m cut to the quick…nice comments lads
I will defend NewGirl’s honour to the death! Or at least till midnight when I have to go to bed as I have to work tomorrow…
Reap what you sow.
hmm a misogynist Anon? And just too cool for school aswell? Why don’t you save your bile for people who deserve it instead of coughing it all over me for a bit of light hearted banter. you prick!
Oh I’m cut to the quick, she giggled prettily. Hoon
Pass the sick bag
hmm I’m off. not up for this.
lol, sod em. Same time tomorrow then NewGirl?
oh yes, loving the anon comments…you don’t gte many men calling women c u n t s so its sort of a novelty
Good riddance , honey . You’ve been done before but rather more convincingly an wivout the varicous veins x .
Still , imitation is the sincerest form of flattery . Swivel , you tart xx .
© E x .
Hey New Girl, at least tell us to fuck off or summat, we love that sort of thing on here.
Ooeerrr, mate. Might just stick around. lol
Was I raining on your parade a little Ewanme?
Na , not really NewGirl , hun .
You talk better than me . Fancy a girly twosome sometime ????
© E x .
well I would but i think Anon’s got his eye on me. Bored now tho. night.
Fuck me . It’s varicose . I used to be good at spellin .
NewGirl – go for it !! If you can keep it up 9 months ur a better tart than me , petal .
Fondness © E x .
Na night .
© E x .
if its going to piss that tosser off, deffo
Apparently this is more fun that having a crack at Nulabs….
VOT but a huge cap-doff to Max @ 9.35am on another thread for this http://www.pakin.org/complaint/
You just made my ‘job’ that much easier.
The Brown resign petition is now the biggest one on the No 10 website
How many till it beats the fuel petition?
I hate that bloody Blair for that fucking website!
At long last he’s come top in something apart from kuntishness.
Great! Well done, Guido! That Spectator story was great.
Incidentally, more news on the Swine flu. McBride, as a real life swine, will be very worried about this:
Swine Flu Symptoms (video news)
Stat porn this month should make the national debt look small. How about a sweepstake? Nearest the flag gets a full refund?
he will go bust
Damien was networking in parliament according to the Guardian this morning. With whom? TomW & Vetty or Ed and Liam? Is M15/M16 monitoring him/ but then Scarlet Ohara is in charge so maybe not. Wonder what they’re planning to do next?
O/T
Watching that prick Ethical Man on newsnight and how the Green Communists will bypass Congress to force Cap&Trade on Industry.
The EPA (Enviromental Protection Agency) in the US can impose Cap&Trade whether congress vote for it or not.
Your Local council has signed up to a thing called the ‘Nottingham Declaration’
Which compels YOUR council irrespective of its political hue to adopt Green Communist dogma.
The whole democratic process has been undermined and when you question your councillor as I have done on the subject, you will find that the knob doesn’t even realise he’s been usurped.
Try It for yourself.
When I say try it for youself I mean your own councillor not mine.
He already got fed up with my questions after only three E-mails.
Google ‘Nottingham Declaration’ and I will bet my balls to a barn dance your council will be on the signed up list.
Ben Brogan will have it if you need it, Guido…
I think Damien has something valuable to publish even after the next election that will leave this labour crew in the desert. Just imagine what he can say about gordon, hazel, harriet,ed,tom,liam . I’d buy his book even after the electon that had seen them sent off into the hinterland.
Charlie Brooker is stitching Guido up on Newswipe…
He’s saying that he’s a Hoon which is round about right isn’t it?
My best friend is a lampshape. Actually, my only friend is…….
P.S. I”m a Prat but you’d have probably guessed that..
Brooker’s laying into the MSM as well as Guido.
Changing t’subject slightly, looks like Dolly is still due to be at the Hay Festival 26/5/09. Anybody fancy going? Could be the biggest laugh of the decade.
http://www.hayfestival.com/p-1168-derek-draper-talks-to-benna-waites.aspx
Ha ha, mate. Yeah, lovely part of the world and I like books. I’m quite good at theatrically ‘accidentally’ spilling my pint over undesirable types too, son. Fucking have it, Dolly.
I’ll be there anyway, playing taxi for the missus and her mother (when they fucking well decide what they are going to see). I’ve got a place 3 miles up the road from Hay. It’s pretty much a morgue for most of the year (Hay that is).
PS If you like your wine then bring your own, else it’s a 25 mile drive to Hereford to get anything decent. As the Hay festival always seems to surprise the local co-op they run out of the half-decent early on.
PS. The Landlord of The Blue Boar has changed. He doesn’t allow swearing of any kind in his pub, even if it just a couple of you in there. Not normal.
Labour is in decline I am sure of it. Time for bed – good night – god bless
il drink to that
The No10 website has a BETA text on the title image, when did that crop up?
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/#detail
Fuck knows. I’m gonna wait till tomorrow to sign it again.
It’s been Beta forever and 3 days or since it was setup, whichever :-)
Means they can pull it as a result of having “failed the quality tests” needed to make it suitable for General Availability; i.e. a neat get out should it prove embarrassing.
For some reason, I expect this will be quite soon…
Being flying Nokia-proof probably wasn’t in the original tech specs.
Dr Feelgood says:
We had the same comments on here and other blogs,when the 1.8millon voted on road pricing and when the plod wanted to go back to proper policing petitions
@351
True, but if we didn’t repeat the same old nonsense, there would only be about 3 posts here ;-)
They couldn’t get a nine year-old in as none of them would pass the Enhanced CRB checks required to be around children.
It’s been there for the last few days.
They are still trying to get their email system to work – allegedly.
If they were being serious and/or honest, they would get a 9 year old in and it would be fixed before you could say Snottie McTwat.
Politics is fucking boring. People trying to be funny about politics are fucking boring.
By the way – next person to post is a gay bell end.
Fuck off Draper.
har har. You’re a gay bell end, you freak.
Who the fuck is Draper?
By the way – I have a massive tomato for a head.
class
Congratulations, you’ve just won first prize for being the most boring fucker in the last half hour. Now toddle off to bed, your boyfriends ring needs a polish.
Hey TAG, that sounds like a Yanks name to me, a bit like wank, but with a Y.
It would explain a lot.
He is a Swiss watch, enough said
@Bollocks,
You called him a Whore?
Yeah, but only during the day
TAG means Tres Avant Garde. Gay or what?
I through mine away when I found that out and got me a Breitling.
TAG are my initials, you fool. I’m English and posh.
What a change NewGirl has wrought here. McBride and Draper are gone and with them the rebutters and smearers. Is NewGirl for real, or a more subtle troll?
zzzzz
Maybe she’s got nothing else to do…
A bit like me at this hour of the morning.
I’m a new visitor, enjoying it all from afar.
So thanks; to everyone who posts for the laughs.
Then again, I have just, had a smoke.
Joanna Lumley is my hero of the moment, gordon the denizen of the closet,the KY queen has been defeated…..nay HUMILIATED by a beautiful woman.
Can’t say fairer than that! Nothing like humiliation is there?
Which is the best way to Downing Street?
Not by the ballot box anyway.
Very Droll. Prehaps Mandy knows of a back passage?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/swine-flu/5248195/Sion-Simon-MP-on-Twitter-Susan-Boyle-caused-swine-flu.html
The “twats” NEVER learn do they ?
Can the Govt survive another loss today at MP expenses vote.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1175249/Love-cheat-MPs-suicide-watch-expense-claims-threaten-expose-affairs.html
But with factions of MPs manoeuvring for concessions, the situation was described as a ‘dog’s breakfast’ by one party tactician.
Asked how the vote would turn out, the Prime Minister’s official spokesman said: ‘Your guess is as good as mine.’
Three Labour MPs are said to be terrified that the release of their expenses claims will expose them as adulterers and financial cheats.
Four ministers are also understood to have warned party whips they might have to resign for abusing the system, when MPs’ receipts are published before the summer recess in July.
The three unnamed backbenchers are said to have been placed on ’suicide watch’ by Labour whips, who fear they might break down when the details of their excesses come out.
Two are understood to have had extra-marital affairs with other members of Parliament.
Not only are they believed to have shared hotel rooms during annual conference get-togethers and party away days but also to have double-claimed for the rooms on their expenses.
If both MPs have claimed for the bill they will be branded frauds as well as love cheats when journalists and freedom of information campaigners sift through their receipts.
Sounds just like The Twelve Days of Christmas!
yeah its like at what point do you want to click your heels 3 times and leave Oz.
Its got to the point where people, “so what have they done this time”
Sounds more like Sodom and Gomorrah.
I’m rubbing my hands in glee at the prospect of them drowning in their own troughs, but after a spell in prison for what would be blatant fraud outside of Westminster circles.
O/T
The VAT man phoned me yesterday to explain VAT regs. They said that I could claim VAT back on any capital expense over £2000. “Great” I said, “I’ll go get a 60inch plasma for the business”; quick as you like she said, “I don’t think we would let that one by, and before you say it, don’t say the MPs claim for that sort of stuff on expenses”. She must get it all the time.
maybe a bath plug then?
No wonder Jack Straw and the nulab backbench MPs tried to change the Freedom of Information Act, to prevent this stuff coming out.
Just as well they failed, the utter, utter Hoons.
My heart bleeds for these parasites. If they knew it was wrong they shouldn’t have claimed for it.
If they are branded frauds and cheats, then they only have themselves to blame.
Not a shred of sympathy for any of ‘em.
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/john-rentoul/john-rentoul-its-all-over-for-our-prime-minister-1676349.html
Stunning
It’s all over for our Prime Minister (yup thats the headline)
You know it is over when they laugh like that. Most of the noise in the Chamber of the House of Commons is uncouth and childish; it is also often manufactured, designed to harass and demoralise the other side. But when Gordon Brown headed for the exit after Prime Minister’s Questions, and had to turn round, realising that he was supposed to making a statement about Afghanistan and Pakistan, the laughter from the opposition benches – and from some on the Government side – was genuine. It was because it was genuine that it was so cruel.
read on………….Browns a marked man. Only question is who is going to take the shot?
Woke up this morning. It was dull outside. Popped into the bathroom and gazed longingly into the mirror…
What!!!
I’m pink all over!!
What the …….???
My ears, they’re all small and bendy …. ugh????
My nose, it’s snout like and a bit damp ….what’s going on here…???
Swne Flu, I ask myself????
Look down and see a curly little tail …ermm..?????
Honey, I’ve …I mean, I’m…..it’s…..
“Shut up dear, nothing unusual, get back into bed and go to sleep”
Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick…….. Public patience with MP’s expenses timer running.
The tsunami is coming !!!! Be afraid ! Be VERY afraid !!!! It’s nearly payback time for all those “free lunches” – Comrades!!!!
CHARLIE BROOKER GOT YOU BANG ON LAST NIGHT. WOT NO RESPONSE???????
The ‘Please go’ count continues to march on inexorably…
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/#detail
Gordon Brown’s name pops up occasionally – but presumably there are quite a few people of that name who want to be rid of the snot-gobbler, so perhaps that’s not so strange after all.
Meanwhile, I see that the agricultural one is well-supported over on the ‘carry on leading …’ and ‘continue-his-sterling-work’ petitions.
Re thieving MPs
A Commons source told the Mail: ‘The whips have three Labour MPs on suicide watch. That’s how serious this scandal is. The whips believe they might kill themselves.
It just gets better.
A bit melodramatic surely resignation is a better option ??? Let’s face it they can only be made bankrupt and/or go to jail(open preison at the worse which is like a holiday camp anyway) and they’d be the “book deal”,media articles,perhaps even write a fiction bestseller plus the odd appearance on the “Beeb” panel shows – it’s worked for others !!!
That was close – I thought you said DVD watch!
Perkele vittu saatana
(that’s Finnish for “I like being Gordon’s mobile phone”)
Broon is a Hoon.
Feel better now, thanks
Strange double standards from Guido
Have u seen this? Ah but it didnt come from Labour so its ok then !
http://www.labourchanter.blogspot.com/