Downing Street Petition Site “Broke” Yesterday
Guido had loads of emails yesterday from people saying they couldn’t sign the petition on the Downing Street website. Many were greeted with this message:
ERROR
The requested URL could not be retrieved
While trying to retrieve the URL: http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/
The following error was encountered:
- Unable to forward this request at this time.
This request could not be forwarded to the origin server or to any parent caches. The most likely cause for this error is that:
- The cache administrator does not allow this cache to make direct connections to origin servers, and
- All configured parent caches are currently unreachable.
Guido contacted Tom Steinberg, the über geek in charge of the petition project, he confirmed that there was a problem yesterday. His technical explanantion was “something broke whilst being upgraded. Bloody computers, eh.”
UPDATE : More people have now petitioned for Gordon to Go than voted for him in his constitutency. If a couple of thousand more people sign the petition before midday, Dave will be able to tell the Prime Mentalist at PMQs that the most popular petition on his own website is the one wanting rid of him. Hint to Dave’s PMQs preparation team: namecheck the petition at PMQs and it will go ballistic. Worth it just to wind up Gordon into smashing a computer screen with a flying Nokia.
First
So where’s your predicted explosion “once it gets round the offices”?? Even the swine flu is spreading faster.
Well it will be the most popular petition by the end of the day. Not bad.
Only around 1500 needed for pole position!
You NuLab piece of filth. Yesterday morning, it stood at 21,629. Today, 26,951. The numbers are increasing daily. Your man Brown is finished and the rest of you sub-communist scum with him. Live with it.
Noticed how it hasn’t updated for a few hours despite me and loads of my friends signing it? Sinister forces at work, no?
Yeeeeahssssssss. Strange the signatory total remains on a conveniently slow-moving total of 27,130, so not quite second place so nestling anonymously in the slipstream. Conveniently.
PMQs soon. Will the total remain off the lead by then? Is the Pope etc? Do bears etc? Is Purnell housework shy etc?
Only 972,000 short of Guido’s target. Fantastic stuff.
Perhaps the “explosion” will come when the weather gets better.
It is early days yet. Will be there until October…
The Petition or Nodrog McBroon?
How sad that some hoon needs to twat “First!”.
On topic, this seems very suspicious to me – a number of co-conspirators, including yours truly, had much fun signing up to the alternative petition to support the PM – http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/support-the-PM/
Given that the ’support’ petition worked all afternoon I think we need a lot more explanation as to why the ‘resign’ petition was apparently broken – “computers, eh” doesn’t cut it – we need to know more details about the difference between the two.
For the record, and for the amusement of the nation in these dark times, here is a select list of the PM’s supporters (since removed by the PM’s censors):
* Joy Wendy Endcomes
* Charles Ponzi
* D N Disnigh
* Noki Aitonthehead
* I. Wright
* Mr N.O. McMandate
* Ivor Broquen-Printer
* Mr. P. Iss-Off
* Mr S Meargate
* Dustin Mihands
* Gordon Smallcock
* Mrs Tricoteuse
* Prof L. Igate-Tosser
* Nick Robinson
* Asif Ali ZARDARI, President
* Sarah Brown
* Gordon pension robber Brown
* All your friends at the BBC
* A.S. Long-As-It’s The Wright Thing
* Juan Ay-Jocque
* Billy Nomates
* I.T. Beganinamerica
* Simon Scrotum
* No More Return To Boom And BUST
* Karl Marx
* Dolly Draper
* Orson Carte
* Phil McHunt
* Imoff Tofrance
* Nucking Futter
* R Ving-Lhuun
* Mr Bunk Spubble (Labour supporter)
* Andrew Marr
* Do you think you’ll manage to get to 10 REAL signatures?
* Referee R.ndum and U. Ropevote
* Wayne Kerr. Go Gordon your doing a grand job!
* Seymour Jocksin-Cabinet
* Betty Swallocks
* Rock Ing-Horse
* Hugh R. Slicker
* K Y Jelly
* Toenails Robinson
* Jacqui Five-Bellies
* Jim Hacker’s Dangly Knackers
* Stalin
* Hugh Janus
* Josef Fritzel
* Esan Utter
* Iain Dale media whore
* Frankie McCheesecake
* Phil MacAvity
* HARRIET (too big for my boots) HARMAN
* U MacMesick
* I.F. No-Job
* Tony Blair
* Napoleon,Snowball,Squealer and the rest of the pigs from Animal Farm
* Aime Wright-Burke
* Adolf Hitler
* Gordon FitzPeter
* Peter FitzGordon
* Gote Farqhuhar
* Mike Hunt
* Damian McSmear
* Another fat faced bogey eater
* I’m going to emmigrate if Brown still leads the UK in a week
* Len dusafiver
* Titanic Captain
* prudence mcnutter
* Yuri Wright -Tosser
* Mr. You Don’t Stand a Chance.
* His Holiness Pope Tony; purveyor of snake oil and associated transitory miracles
* Cyclops McFuckup
* R.E. Sign-u-tosser
* Ian Brady
* King Cnut and you have something in common
* Zanu Liebour
* Ivor Hardon
* Hugh G. Rection
* B.Uggeroff
* Sir Fred Goodwin (thanks for the knighthood)
* Tony ‘I got out with at least some credibility’ Blair
* Chipped Wheelie Bin
* F Cough andie
* Brownisahoon
* Piss Off Brown!!
* Fidel X Penses
* Tony (I’m back and available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs) Blair
* Gay Gordons Syphilitic Knobcheese
* ALan Duncan Comic Genius
* Polly the Tuscan
* Yasmin Alibhai-Brown
* Iwillnotlethousepricesgetoutofcontrol
I particularly liked Gordon FitzPeter and Peter FitzGordon and ‘All your friends at the BBC’, arf!
120th!!
damn.
…and the current 25 Who the F*CK is Nicola O’Connor??
bob roberts, the Petition Creator, joined by:
* Brad Owen
* john fisk
* I. Wright
* Nicola O’Connor
* Vaal Ewes
* Paul Uppal
* Planning Election Party Already
* Ewe Turn
* Brid Mary Campbell
* Phil + Mike Hunt
* Endo Boomnbust
* David Cameron
* The military Wing of the BBC
* Jimmy Cricket
* Gordon Brown
* Erica I Tstartedinam
* I like tea cakes
* Still can’t get to 10 REAL signatures then
* Tacky Jacqui-Smith
* Utta Leigh Bonkers
* Phil McCrackin
* A.Brownmustgo
* What’s the point of petitions if more than 100 signatures are removed overnight? Censorship?
* How sad. No-one wants you Brown. Just GO!
This is fucking hysterical, I can’t stop giggling reading these names !
:-)
Good to see the infamous farmy farm has now got a mention on the latest update…
I take offence of the abuse you give to a poster achieving a “First”. I have on occasion also achieved this honour and let me tell you it fair sets you up for the rest of the day.
Good day to you sir.
10-15am 29April Those bastards have now just wiped out another 30 petitioners.
This petition is now rendered worthless because of these joke names.
Shame, because now ZanuLabour have a get out of jail card
for the sake of completeness…
# Winky McFcuknut
# Wibble Wobble I like Playing With My Farmy Farm
# wheres my pension gone
# george bush
# McLovin
# SNP
# Major Ringsting
# The Chocolate Starfish
# Rusty Sheriffsbadge
# Fcuk U Gordon
# The Ignoramus with half a brain
# “half a brain”, overly generous IMHO
# Utter Hoon
# S. Notgobbler
# But in which direction? And WHY were dozens of signatures removed?
# Hazel Blears
# U Musbejokin
# Ghost of the Flying Nokia
# Mrs Brown the Hen
# Clark S Kent (need some help buddy!)
# Noki Abusta Gain
# Gordon Faggot
# Nok I.A.R.E Pairman
# [deleted 'cos it might get Guido in trouble]
# Naomi ‘phone rage’ Campbell
The farmy-farm legend (can’t recall who first posted it):
Brown has a collection of tiny china figurines which he keeps in a shoebox – tiny sheperdesses and horses and farmers and pigs and the like. She says most nights when he’s alone with his aides and the wife he gets them out and plays “farmy-farm” with the little dolls, making the horses jump over tiny hedges etc. He even takes the miniature cows to the Number 10 toilet so they can do “Brownpats” as he makes little mooing noises.
The staff’s big fear is that he will take his “farmy-farm” set to the Commons and be caught on TV playing with it just before PMQs. He’s come pretty close already – during the non-election debate, a miniature sheep apparently fell from his breast pocket onto Ruth Kelly’s hair, and was there right through the broadcast.
Amazingly no one noticed, but they reckon it’s just a matter of time.
I object to being thrown off the support Gordon Brown petition. It seems they find my name offensive which I believe goes against my human rights
Yours Faithfully
Fcuk U Brown
Somebody’s cottoned on to this, but not quick enough. Now the list is
Brad Owen
john fisk
I. Wright
Nicola O’Connor
Paul Uppal
Brid Mary Campbell
rita holland
peter greenhill
Dan Danvers-Bakersman
Robin Scott
Raj Scott
Adam Applegarth
LABOUR ALWAYS FAILS
Hugh Mustbejoking
Not noticed and removed ‘Dan Dan The Bakers Man’ or ‘Robin Scott’ yet then?
Adam Applegarth from Northern Rock too?
I Thick
R Soles-Brown
Maybe the PM should offer tea & cucumber sandwiches at No.10 to any genuine signatories? Or maybe just the tea & sandwiches through the post in Brown paper might be a better offer?
The web-site is hosted in America you bastards. The problem started there.
Looks to be hosted by EasyNet which might explain it.
Why ain’t it hosted in-house I wonder?
Information for 82.111.230.220
inetnum: 82.111.230.0 – 82.111.230.255
netname: UK-CITIZENS-ONLINE
descr: 086744 UK Citizens On Line Democracy
descr: Office
descr: London
country: GB
admin-c: JPC6-RIPE
tech-c: EH92-RIPE
rev-srv: ns0.easynet.co.uk
rev-srv: ns1.easynet.co.uk
status: ASSIGNED PA
mnt-by: EASYNET-UK-MNT
Anyone see the photo of Gorgon at Auschwitz yesterday?
Who the fuck does a pose in front of Auschwitz but a fuckwit, ghoul with no pissing moral compass never mind an ounce of decency.
Brown a historian?
The Parliamentary side of my arse he is.
http://subrosa-blonde.blogspot.com/2009/04/photo-call-too-far.html
I was expecting him to show off his break dancing routine then burst into “Fiddler On The Roof”.
The Penguin
He’s a great fan of ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’. Although ‘Arbeit’ doesn’t make you half as ‘Frei’ as fucking expenses eh Jacqui?
I’ve told y’all before. For Gordon Brown this is the culmination of all his dreams. He gets the tax-payer to fly him all over the world to the places he’s always wanted to go but was too mean to pony up the funds himself. Then he gets pictures of himself taken for his autobiography.
This is just a final 14 months (two years in already remember) opportunity for Brown to visit all those places he’s only ever read about and glad-hand as many Prime-minister/presidents/pontiffs as possible before his P45 comes up. Then, in his fucked-up mind, he’ll retire to a brilliant historical and literary career, feted as an elder statesman wherever he goes. Flown first-class by various corporations and charitable foundations desperate to have the Gretsky of economics cast a few mind-crumbs amongst them.
I his fucking dreams.
If it weren’t so utterly bereft of any sense of ethical appropriateness, it would make a hell of a caption competition.
‘It’ being the photo from the Tellygryph linked to from subrosa.
The other horrible possibility is that after achieving his vision of forcing us all to carry compulsory biometric ID while we remain in Labour’s fucking island Gulag he’s actually gone to bone up on how to do the job properly.
You know, dimensions, proximity to railway lines, disposal methods.
He’s certainly put the first stages in place.
I thought this was a spook, a wind up, even a sleazepost.
But no, it’s REAL.
The sick, sick, McFuckers
He clearly has no shame.
Each time he pulls one of these pathetic stunts I think “Well at least now he’s reached rock bottom”, only to find the lamp on his miners helmet appearing at ankle level a few days later.
“First”
Fcuk off you tosser, this isn’t politicalbetting.com.
As head of the Civil Service I demand to be first. Suck that.
They should get a decent petition site like one for the Gurkha’s.
It has notched up about 100,000 signatures this week.
They tried to swap the two petitions round and failed!
I think they have a new system. I have signed the petition and I am still awaiting the confirmation email so that my vote gets counted.
I wonder how many thousands are in an electrinic pending box?
900 odd to go and its No 1 but according to another poster Labour home infer the petition site is not to be taken seriously as its just to add to the gaiety of the nation.
Gordon Brown going would certainly do that
Twats!.
Has almost reached 40,000 today (1st May). I thought it would be impossible to get rid of Culpability Brown before the next election, but now I am not so sure. Labour MPs are fractious and although a clean mechanism to unseat the Prime Mentalist does not exist for Labour, I am sure there are plenty of well armed knife carriers amongst Brown’s retinue preparing to be Brutus. Et tu Jack?
computer will break when thrown across the room
Lessons will be learnt.
Moving forward, getting on with the job, it all started in America, etc., etc.
You missed difficult decisions which are right for the Country.
Doing the right thing…
Hard working families and PC’s
McBride’s been at it.
As someone is both a cynic and who works in IT, I would suggest that the reason the petition was down yesterday was while some of Browns cronies organised code changes to not count all the signatures being made.
I can’t believe there’s only 27,000 of us in the land who want him to go.
Back up and running now…over 25,000 signatures to date!
Keep it up folks; we need more!!!!!
Is the Westminster pot boiling behind closed doors, or is it my imagination?
No point worrying about giving away your email address to No 10. The bastards have got it anyway…
The “Brown Must stay” petition has had all the funny names removed by the control freaks at Downing St:
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/support-the-PM/
That must have taken you some time to read with 25000 plus names!
Morning folks-going to be another lovely day.
Not ALL of them !!!!!
* Brad Owen
* john fisk
* I. Wright
* Nicola O’Connor
* Vaal Ewes
* Paul Uppal
* Planning Election Party Already
* Ewe Turn
* Brid Mary Campbell
* Phil + Mike Hunt
* Endo Boomnbust
* David Cameron
* The military Wing of the BBC
* Jimmy Cricket
* Gordon Brown
* Erica I Tstartedinam
* I like tea cakes
* Still can’t get to 10 REAL signatures then
* Tacky Jacqui-Smith
McLovin should be appearing shortly
Get round the police state with fake ID :)
Noki Abusta Gain just signed up
who the fuck is Nicola O’Conner?
I’ve just read through the Terms & Conditions on the No 10 Petitions website and nowhere does it say that signatories are not allowed to use pseudonyms. In fact, they appear happy to invite critical comment:
“Petitioners may freely disagree with the Government or call for changes of policy. There will be no attempt to exclude critical views and decisions to accept or reject will not be made on a party political basis.”
Perhaps we should establish another petition saying, “We, the undersigned, call on the Prime Minister to stop censoring the lists of petitioners on this website.”
Heh heh, it’s back down to 26 at almost 3am, and about 6 to 10 of those are joke sigs.
But I’m very sorry to see my name has been removed, I truly suport the PM and his Govt’s efforts to increase the sales of bathroom fittings
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
now there’s a surprise….
Just 2,500 more signatures and it moves to top position!!!!!
“something broke whilst being upgraded” – So that’s the reason for the financial situation. Not America, not Gordon, just a computer glitch.
That’s alright then.
gordo threw someting, it hit the computer, fill in the blanks as required
Maybe it’s a victim of the government efficiency savings
“M…m…m..m…m..m..mr Speaker I take full responsibility and that’s why I have sacked the cleaner! It was the RIGHT thing to do !”
Hourly signatures during the UK working day yesterday averaged 377 – less than Monday (between 500 and 600) but respectable none the less. There was less coverage on the bigger blog sites and Swine flu took most of the MSM headlines.
Time for a big push today – 3000 more would take the petition to top spot less than a week after it was created. This would also create the “headline” required to generate continued interest. Once it has top spot, it is difficult to see it being displaced between now and October given that the rate of growth is so much higher than the competing petitions.
It is interesting to speculate whether the existence of a “resign petition” in the top 5 on the downing st. sign is among the factors girding the loins of those Labour politicians who are now rebelling. It must increase the personal pressure on the PM.
Swine flu – more Liebour distraction politics, media hysteria, sustained common sense failure and Health & SafetyNazi madness.
Simon Jenkins @ Grauniad is the only sane voice to date.
Lets get back to real calamity:
Snot’s Liebour is expiring but taking a hellava long time to be totally despatched.
All together now one last heave and there they go into the boiling VAT, cremated forever.
Timing just right . It becomes #1 just as Dave stands at PMQ.
Perfect
Shouldn’t you be in the pub by now?
Mornin’ Guido!
How convenient for them!
The only ‘upgrade’ that seems to have happened yesterday is that the rate at which the number of petition signatutres went up was almost exactly 150 every half hour yesterday, as opposed to almost exactly 300 every half hour on Monday.
Now call me a conspiracy theorist if you like (I’m actually an IT manager) but maybe half their servers were down as they don’t want it running up too quickly, after all I’m sure Dave will want the count ahead of PMQs this lunchtime.
They also need to be much quicker at looking at the list of names on the petition in support of the itiot, or maybe Mike Hunt does like him after all…..
My favourite was Mr. Where’s My Pension.
Can I suggest that signatories should check from time to time that their names are still there (edit+search), and if not tell Guido.
or F and then type your name (will have to select ‘Show all signatories’).
should be CTRL F
The fucking twats did everything yesterday to suppress this.
When are the useless koonts in the media going to run with this ? Hopefully after PMQs.
1,000 Need to get to 2nd place. Will easily be there by 12 today :)
I hope this brings on a stroke for the bong-eyed-twat.
not nice
serious
too nice for the criminal crud
Jacqui will have to pop round and calm him down with her trademark soapy tit-wank.
http://therantingkingpenguin.blogspot.com/
shes so fat you could chose loads of other folds on her body for a soapy one
No
Unfortunately it’s a Gordo 2000 computer, notoriously unreliable. No hard drive, memory chips on both shoulders, BIOS towards tantrums, & other bogies in its system.
not forgetting the lamentable lack of updates and security issues. Plus he is full of malware and is definitely the lead in a zombie network.
Rufus – you have hit on something here – this could go on for ages.
And its cache leaks so much its empty as soon as anything gets added.
Terminally phished probably.
The ClosedBSD kernel bars any form of communication with the outside world.
Phen – Have you noticed the similarity the Gordo 2000 has to HAL 2000 in the film 2001 Space Odessy? It too had a single glass eye.
Broons full of Phorm
Other things about the Gordo 2000:
The speaker is bent and only works in the presence of money.
The manual got torn up a long time ago
The Nokia port is broken and its pointless having a modem – there’s no way to communicate with it anyway.
and my favourite …
The mouse can only be stuck in from behind.
or even 25,000
nope, 2,500 MORE signatures and it’s top of the list
now it only requires 1552 more signatures to make the TOP position!
Only 25,000? C’mon, folks. We can do better than that. I got the spouse unit and parent units to sign up…
Unlikely to make the running on “Al-Jabeeba” they’re still in a froth about the end of civilization with “Swine Flu” – obviously they’ve all been watching “28 Days Later” – That’s why I “like” the BBC they can always be relied on to NOT to start a panic!!!!!
and Nick closed his blog for comments
It’s not just the IT system that’s broke in No 10.
I wonder if Gordon has been able to chuck the server across the cabinet table yet?
They’ve hid it
Possible that they are using the petition as a knife to Brown’s throat.
“Resign or we let the petition rip”.
A very dangerous game because every frustrated petitioner will instantly lose trust in the democratic system.
The public’s trust should have the highest priority. Without that the politicians have lost everything.
I don’t think Gordon cares what we think. He will hang on until the last moment.
He knows he’s lost the trust of the public, but why should he worry about a trifling thing like that. The longer he can stat in office, the higher his gold plated pension will be.
I don’t think time in office matters to a PM’s pension. The Hoon will retire on full salary however long he polutes No 10.
39 – I think that the Septic Tank Principle is much more apt!
# 127 I think you are spot on.
What about other cabinet ministers..do they also get a full 67% or whatever of their minister’s salary independent of how long they hold the post. If so, no wonder they all take up a gravytrain role then “ask to leave” a little later and allow someone else to fill their boots (eg Des Browne).
Also, if MP salaries are allowed to double rather than trough the expenses, why don’t they grab the chance with both hands.
Double your salary means double your pension – independent of how long you are in the position.
Hope I’m wrong (for all our sakes, apart from the honourable members of course)
Thanks mate. ;)
Berk. You need to sign it another 19 times now.
They seem to be having trouble getting real signatures.
Gordon must have done this when he flew in from Poland. Big story here for the MSM.
OT
The poison dwarf Blears is spinning Labour’s recession as a ‘good thing’.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8023666.stm
Apparently it will bring communities together. You know Hazel, my twisted little munchkin, you may actually be right for once. It will unite the country in their loathing of your fucking incompetent government.
Arsehole.
So when the shadow health sec Andrew Lansley says it, everyone lambasts him. But when this offensive little bitch Blears says it then it must be true.
In fairnesss to Lansley he apologised.
Bloody BBC though. Even in his apology story they couldn’t resist putting the line
“Labour said the remarks showed the opposition was “out of touch”.” And then drone on about “policy”.
Where is there anthing but the Labour party line in this Blear’s recession can help communities link? There isn’t.
I hate the Beeb with a passion.
Yep. Good catch. Tory MP tries to be positive about the effects of this incompetent government’s recession and the scum-fuckers are all over him. Von Blears tries to spin that her governments economic catastrophe is a ‘good thing’ and the BBC report her vacuous ramblings as a scripted in stone gift from God himself.
The BBC. Lying to you at demanding money with menaces for the privilege.
Actually Blears is right: The recession/depression is bringing communities together – in a collective hatred and condemnation of her and the other incompetent and intellectually devoid muppets who call themselves a government.
But she is right, it is bring us together. I see huddles around the burning oil-drum under the underpass. Just like Labour days of old with the Unions.
Someone on HIGNFY last week (may have been Frank Skinner) referred to Blears as Squirrel Nutkin. While it doesnt address the issue of her abject lack of grey matter and that scientific miracle that is the vacuum between her ears, it is rather appropriate.
The Ginger Minger is a total irrelevance, just like her awful colleagues.
She’s got a constant vinegar strokes face too – most disconcerting – never sure when she’s cuming …. taxi? Pour moi?
True I absolutely loathe that sucking a lemon face she pulls just thinking abo………………..Barf!
Later today, apparently, Blears will say the recession can bring communites together. Presumably the attempted spin is that this recession has a positive side.
As I understand it the London blitz is said to have brought communities together. But perhaps it would have been better had the communities not experienced the blitz, remained a little more remote, and not have had 40,000 dead and 46,000 injured.
Blears really is an ineffably silly woman. And is there any old rubbish the BBC (finding a brief moment to leave swine flu; and the source of this wisdom) will not promulgate on behalf of New Labour?
Blitz brought people together in bomb shelters; ZNL bring people together in queues.
Whenever I see that Hazel Blears, I get a sudden urge to start breaking things!!
Wonder what they were upgrading?
The situation we faced was difficult, it ’should never have happened’. A great many people with families have worked very hard so that, ‘this should not happen’ again.
We have put measures in place so that ‘this should never happen again’, so you can feel safe in the knowledge that due to our hard working technicins, this should never happen again.
So I think that I have made it quite clear that ‘this should never happen again’.
And at every step of the way the Conservatives have rejected our ICT maintenance schemes that offer real help to hard working motherboards during these difficult times, they are the Do Nothing party
The motherboard issue is vey important and very close to the heart of Harriet Harperson and real equality for real women.
Note that it is called a ‘Motherboard’ and not a ‘Fatherboard’. This is Labour working at it’s very best, creating issues that should never have happened and making sure they should never happen again.
We are the Should Never Happen Again Party
The LGBTC lobby not fully comfortable with your suggestion and have suggested “Personboard”. Can we delay a decision though until our meeting this afternoon with the Animal Activist lobby group because word is that they are not entirely comfortable and have raised something already with that committee’s ChairUndefinedSpecies. Everyone ok with that and convene again tomorrow?
I saw a van with “Handyperson” painted on it yesterday. Honest.
Sorry. When I said ‘Labour’s recession’ I of course meant ‘Labour’s depression’.
It’s not a Depression, it’s a Brownturn
I think you are being unkind to dwarves to equate them with dear venomous Hazel. ‘Hissing sid ‘ the snake in my children’s fairy tales, comes to mind every time I think of her – small,perfectly formed and lurking in dark corners.
Tory plans are muddled and baffling.
Might as well stick with the Labour Party.
What is it with the Times this week, or is it just Alice?
Alice in blunderland?
@52
Think it’s just her. Generally, recent Times, S Times leaders and comment in The Sun and NoTW have been very anti-Labour.
Looks like, Murdoch has turned against him. Hopefully will stay that way.
‘morning nell. How’s the igloo ;)
Couldn’t have said that better myself :-)
25854 and counting,
1000 from #2,
3000 from #1, one big push this morning should do it, assuming they’ve ‘fixed’ their server
there has been no change in the total since you commented
The total refreshes every 30 mins, but the number of signatures on a petition can go down as well as up
“The public’s trust should have the highest priority.”
Well, they lost the plot on that one soon after 1997. The highest priority for this government has been spin (which in the days when England used to be free was called “lies”).
New Labour = A lying bogyman bullying a cabinet of liars controlling a government of liars drawn from a party of liars.
New Labour are the “Lying Party”.
A three-lie whip?
Your thinking of motor racing.
On balance, if the system was going to throw up a pithy one-worder to describe the situation, it might have better advised:
BROKE
It would also have provided a valuable complementary insight into the state of edumuckasian these days.
He is the absolute gold-plated example of the Peter Principle and hopefully the bottomless pit of government pensions will hit a black hole before he’s due to draw his.
‘it should never happen again’ Is that the new mantra – to replace ‘& it started in America’
The other Liebour mantras, ‘Draw a line under it: learn the lessons: move on: getting on with the job’, are all still available to shut down debates which might highlight what a shitty government we have had for the last 12 years.
Doing what’s right for hard-working families.
I’ve ordered an inquiry.
Gordon’s facial gurning unit burnt out due to the YouTube video. Also the main logic processor is running some alpha software with a lot of bugs.
Some of the peripherals such as the Jaqui unit have been taken offline because some one had been downloading porn through it.
The Blears unit is just talking shit for some unknown reason.
May be Gordon heard that joke about punching information in twice? Check his knuckles for cuts etc at PMQs today (you’ll see them when he chews his nails).
Can someone start a petition asking the PM to get someone to tie his tie for him in the morning? Especially if he’s abroad, meeting soldiers (eg Gurkhas) or meeting VIPs from other lands on our behalf?
It’s all done with actuators and the skin of hardworking families.
I’ve always thought Gruntygunt 4.0 was a bloated piece of software. A resource hog which relies on false positives and has caused a red itch in some users. Unless the jacqplugs are correctly inserted before boots, it is nigh on impossible to achieve a clean install.
Yes – he’s a tramp.
Socks inside trousers and did you see him at US Congress where EVERY senator was immaculately dressed with perfect shirts and perfectly knotted ties..
… Then walks in Wurzil.
Heavyweight Intellectual ? No. Tramp. Definitely
ps. Don’t ask Sarah to look after him, I hear she has difficulty keeping food stains of her own dresses.
or when dolly draper takes it home…….
Problems with a government computer system? How unusual!
The Penguin
You forgot to include my name above, but there are so many petitions I sometimes forget whether I signed for or against.
Extract from BBC / Blears preview.
Ms Blears will say: “In some ways the democratic recession started many months before the economic one.
“We’d already seen the collapse of trust in politics, long before the collapse of confidence in the financial system.
“I am in no doubt whatsoever that the row over MPs’ allowances, and the leaked emails, are as corrosive to our democracy as the row over bankers’ bonuses and the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, Woolworths and so on is corrosive to our economy.
“My hope is that the public’s response to the crisis of legitimacy characterising our politics will be as constructive as at the moments of fulcrum in our democratic development: when rejection of the Rotten Boroughs led to the Reform Acts, or when women’s demands led to us getting the vote.
“I am optimistic that the long, loud howl of outrage at the state of our politics can find practical expression through positive reform of the political system.”
Translation.
We are kicking Brown out.
Translation:
We’ve belatedly discovered that we promised PR in our 1997 manifesto? Better a majority partner in a coalition government than vanished to the history books? Anybody but the Tories?
S’cuse me. That was promised a referendum on PR in their 1997 manifesto. Labour, reneging on manifesto commitments from Day 1.
Poor old Paddy Ashdown. Signing a non-aggression pact and standing down his troops in marginal Tory/Labour constituencies to ensure a Labour victory and a PR referendum. Then being photographed with a cabinet of all the liars post-election.
His face must have been a fucking picture when Blair looked him in the eye and told him to go fuck himself on PR. And then leaked the dirt on Paddy’s extra-marital indiscretions.
Labour. Lying, evil, smearing whores since Day one, 1997. Before that if you include the Blair/Brown coup on Margaret Becket.
If they’d devoted the same mental energy to running the country as they have done to crushing dissent and covering up the truth we’d be in fucking great shape right now.
Frank Field’s blog is interesting. He’s now starting initiatives with the annointed Vincent Cable.
Worth a read and a comment to him. He really is wasted in that party and in my view the only man who may stop a landslide at the Election.
However, I’m concerned he has started the old “share the blame” politics.
eg. “The Opposition needs to outline their public sector cuts to the electorate”
Had to comment on that one. No they DON’T, they are only a potential administration whereas you lot have been in power 12 years and you are now leaving it until after the next election.
Don’t try that sneaky one, mate, or you’ll go down in my estimation far quicker than you rose.
http://www.frankfield.co.uk/blog/
It was the right thing to do
I just got this on here on a refresh
Error 404 – Not Found
The page you are looking for cannot be found
Guido what are you upto…..?
Let me make it quite clear that this was a ‘Bitish Job’ for ‘British Worker’s’. We here in Britain are the best placed to overcome these problem’s and the only Party that can ensure that ‘it will never happen again’.
We need another big push and the TV networks to pick this up.
Things have slowed a little as the internet viral effect has used up it resources. We need one more push to get the top of the poll and the hopefully Sky, Channel 4 etc will pick it up. I am not sure the BBC will mind you, Aunty Pravda does not like criticism of the Government.
That’s another pressure point on Brown.
They (Who’s they)? can threaten to publicise it more and more if he doesn’t resign.
Staying in Downing St with a ticking petition will become increasingly difficult.
So who’s “they”?
“They” are so clever they won’t even tell us who they are..
I’d never have thought of that, but they tell me they are far cleverer than even they thought.
Given that it took almost a million views and even then the BBC barely mentioned Daniel Hannan, I can’t see them bothering over the petition
It could have been the Swine Flu virus. I suggest a mask be fitted at all times.
Bit difficult for the BBC to report negative stories about McTwat when they have their tongue up his arse.
The Support the PM petition has 25 names, but a “sense check” suggests about 4 of these are real names/people trying to show support. I can’t remember how many Labour MPs, SPADs and “Lords” there are, but 4 feels slightly low to me – any reason they aren’t making themselves heard?
Because he’s a thorough hoon
or because they hire staff to use computers for them
It is a typical ERROR problem with Labour. They have run out of CACHE.!!!
All Labour computers end up running out of cache.
In much the same way every labour computer ends up with far more idle resources after its been running for a while.
Meanwhile, other parts of the computer are overloaded which stops people using it for anything productive.
Not to mention the computer being full of spyware which monitors everything.
Fortunately, people get fed up of the slow unproductive computer and replace it after a few years
Ever so sorry for that yesterday, we were given instructions from MI5 to implement an urgent “Security” fix on the Number 10 website.
This has resulted in a temporary reduction in capacity on the No. 10 petitions page, which will be in effect until after PMQs today.
We do not apologise for any inconvenience, as this was entirely due to circumstances beyond our control as a result of events that started in America and quickly spread to the rest of the world.
Please be advised that we are not tracking your IP address nor linking email addresses with postcodes.
This could work, me as Linux, Gordon as Windoze (lol). After all, Linux has won hasn’t it?
(Need to learn how to do those smiley things, that would be cool)
Time to call in the computer cavalry. Who can play ‘Boots and ADSls ‘ on the bugle?
Mail: “A senior MP warned that Labour is now condemned to a slow death since few wish to provoke a bloodbath by ousting Mr Brown.
‘There’s a whiff of decay about everything now,’ he said. ‘No one’s frightened of Gordon any more. The problem is that there is no appetite for another coup. There would have to be an election and no one wants that.’ ”
Like that last bit.
It was so much more civilised in Roman times. Disgraced politicians would lie in a bath of warm water and open the veins in their arms and neatly close the chapter. How far civilisation has sunk in 2000 years. Now they move on to some highly paid sinicure, get a huge pension paid for by the taxpayers and take publishers to the cleaners for their autobiographies.
I was born far far too late – sigh!!
I hate the last bit. It proves that these labour pricks KNOW they are fucked and they KNOW the majority in this country wants to see the back of them NOW and they are refusing to get rid of this liability because it would force them to give the people of this country what they want!
They are deliberately and blatantly putting their own selfish interests before the country’s and they all deserve to be on the dole after the next general election.
They will spend the next year, knowing that they are totally fucked, screwing the system for every single penny that they can rob and steal and looking for ways to enact legislation in such a way that they can benefit themselves from this slow and inexorable decent into political oblivion.
We just have to find a way to wake up the 20% of the voting public that are brainwashed and hypnotised into the false belief that labour stands for them and there can be NO alternative to voting labour for them.
These synaptically retardant fuckwits that insist on voting labour no matter what are fucking this country. Gordon Brown could eat live babies on prime time TV and then have anal sex with the warm corpse whist eating its faecal matter whilst chanting this Satanic child sacrifice started in America over and over, and these jissum brained fucktarded wankers would still smear their excremental beliefs upon our pristine Parliament by voting labour.
I HATE THOSE SHITFORBRAIN TOSSPOTS!
The government have ordered 32 million face masks to help protect us from the deadly and absolutely abhorrent swine flu that makes us claim expenses. Now, someone remind me, what’s the population of this wonderful land??
I can see the death toll rapidly increasing in the Goody Goody land in which we live, not because of swine flu but because of the rush to get a face mask!!
What utter bollox
Don’t be silly 32m will be enough, everyone knows only men get flu.
Bloke flu, not bird flu
And this sort of thing only spreads in the farms. Everyone move to London now!
what about Farmy farm?
For a couple of years now both my children have been receiving expensive looking mailshots from something called the “Gifted and Talented” scheme. The content is mainly bollocks and now they go, unopened, into the recycling.
I had thought this was in recognition of their having a combined IQ in excess of 75. I know realise that it has been a trial for sending face masks and Tamiflu tablets to the least thick children. By allowing the dullards to perish, Blair’s target of 50% in University will be achieved.
I do wonder, though, why nobody is linking the swine flu outbreak to the death of Jane Goody. Surely any recent deaths of human-pig crossbreeds should be investigated.
Human-pig crossbreeds = Zanulab MPs
Avian-pig flu = flying pig syndrome.
This medical advice is brought to you in association with The Optimum Population Trust.
I’ve met your President Brown and he is really a very charming gentleman.
Sure is
I have too honey. Such coarse hands and such steamy pants! He’s fixin’ it so’s me an my girlfriend – Harperson Raus, kin lay down some tracks with that long- hair legend Robert Ainsworth….y’know, used to be in Led Balloon? Now the whole dang party’s in Led Balloon….
Happy trails now – Jaysus wept!
I thought you were dead, Tammy!!
No, silly. Still slaying ‘em down in Texas and across the border
He is toast, Tammy.
We are now at 25854 and #5
another 680 and #4
another 873 and #3
another 1045 and #2
another 2419 and WE WILL BE ON TOP
25907 at 08:08
1003 for #2
2366 for #1 and tell this twat where to GO
That little word ‘resign’. |With its neat little full stop after it. ‘.’ – no punctuation was ever used more succinctly.
Would this be Jules Gardner, as in texas hold-em?
Isn’t it a wonderful head for the arithmetic you have on you!
Funny how the computer ‘broke’ yesterday – well this morning I’ve had a different problem. I successfully added my name to the ‘resign’ petition (in fact I had TWO email replies asking me to confirm) then I tried to register as ‘Pussy Maguire’ onto the petition to “carry on leading this great country of ours” and nothing, no email reply to confirm.
Knowing what a vindictive bastard Gordon Brown is and being fully aware of the neo-stasi tendencies of his stalinist administration, I’m now living in fear of a knock at the door at 3am tomorrow morning.
Use a fucking proxy mate.
Fuck using a proxy – I’d like a new coal fired power station to fuel the 500m neon lighted sign at the bottom of Downing Street reading ‘Fuck Off Git’ – any hoon turns up at my door should just be checking the colour scheme.
I take full responsibility. The person responsible has been removed to the bunker.
Could it be anything do do with this : My wife signed up this morning – confirms her and on her pc she appears on list immediately. On my pc there was no increment on the total signatures and my wife’s name did not appear, despite several refeshes, leaving the page and returning, no increment and my wife doesn’t appear – not even after 20 mins…….
That’s because you don’t know how to use a computer. Go to PC World for help.
Click on Start to turn your computer off, then turn it back on again.
Thank you for calling Microsoft.
The Tories have the Grey suits to remove a leader
In Labour its Gay fruits (Mandelson)
It’s going to be like Five Poufs and a Piano trying to oust Jonathon Ross.
If the Downing Street Petition system accepted postal votes, the thing would be in the bag by now.
Fifth most popular petition on the site now – not far to go…
I signed it 20 mins ago, clicked the link in the email and all.
It said I was signed up. I thought great!
Oddly the count hasn’t changed, nor has my name appeared.
Why do I get the feeling this is rigged, just like the next election will be?
New labour has proved everyone wrong.
The only reason they won in 97 was because everyone thought they couldn’t do worse than the tories.
Seriously the Tories needed to go then. The problem was that labour stayed too long. If they lost in 2001 then nobody would be complaining now.
Tactically they should have lost in 2005. The economic well was already well poisoned by then. Brown had recruited a million bed-wetters, box-tickers and bullshitters at vast expense and we had a structural deficit of 3% of GDP even then. Even while the great British numptitude were borrowing 100bn extra a year for their over-inflated ‘property investments’, German cars and foreign holidays.
The ‘fix’ was in and they could have got away Scot free. The Tories would have struggled to make the charges that ‘it was Labour wot done it’ stick when the feels came off a full two years later.
Now nobody isi in any doubt whose fault it is.
This incompetent government is 100% to blame. I wish I believed in hell because then it would be much easier to watch the bastards wilfully fucking it up for another 14 months. As it is I fear they will go unpunished in this life and the next.
Utter fucking scum.
133
Heartily agree.
Hell is too good for Liebour’s shower.
Scum of this magnitude unseen since Hitler.
Major’s fault.
If he’d lost ‘92 to the Welsh windbag, the economy would have had it’s usual Labour misrule, the country would have gone to the IMF by ‘95 and Kinnock would have been history by ‘97. And the Tories would have had power since.
Just think. There would have been no Bliar, no Brown, no ‘Nu Labour’, no Mandelson.
F**k me, that Major has got a lot to answer for.
So Brown has the comments function on his YT horror fest turned off, and now has this petition nobbled.
He even gets childish when the strictly impartial ITV ask him a question about expenses.
This man or excuse of a man is a political basketcase, but he is fun to laugh at.
Guido, Guido
forgive my panic but in today’s troubled times only added to by swine flu in the last few days and I haven’t got my mask yet….Can you tell us?……will PMQs be cancelled because of this suddden and unexpected swine flu what got here from America? Is it true that by watching PMQs on the telly that you are at a very high risk of catching this most deadly of diseases, worse than death itself??
Oh, I don’t know what to do and all the Beeb are saying is that it’s awful and we should wash our hands a lot and not go round in groups and if it really takes off we should live under the kitchen table….oh my, oh, my….
If it really takes off, I’m going out every day. Restaurants will be sparkling clean and the streets will be empty! (yes actually, i was in a sars country in 2003)
Of course you should wash your hands a lot. You should be doing this all the time especially after taking a crap and wanking. That said it’s probably safer to go abroad because they have experience in dealing with these things.
It would probably be safer to go abroad because they have experience in dealing with crapping and wanking? Where?
You obviously weren’t in Hanoi then! Or is it even more impossible to cross the street post sars?
I’m in a bit of a lather this morning. Now, do I put my mask over my mouth or on the end of my French Horn?
I’m looking forward to Paxo wearing a mask on Newsnight
I wash my hands of everything – it started in America, you bastards.
I don’t believe it.
Probably fucked it trying to upload a new personality into Broons skull.
ITS OFFICIAL – THEY ARE DELETING NAMES
I have been collecting the full list every 2 hours since the petition started, and doing some analysis by comparing cosecutive lists and looking for those that have been deleted.
They have deleted some 6,538 names which on first glance look perfectly normal (bar the odd daft one)!
Someone needs to pick this up. !
I sent an email asking for clarification from 10 Downing street yesterday. Guess what… The Hoons havent replied .
That means its official it would be top now!
Are you sure about the numbers deleted?
They are certainly deleting; but I don’t see anything like as many as 6,538.
How are you doing the comparison?
You’re one sad man, Mr King, one sad man.
Put in a FOI request to the people who run the website.
26K now and stepping on the gas to draw level soon with “Not reduce the national speed limit to 50mph” at a speed I am sure they would appreciate and understand.
I have just signed up to the “get Brown out petition” and the counter did not go up!
Before I signed up it was 25,907 and after I signed up it was 25,907. What is going on?
Of course you could deliver the petition by hand at Downing Street, could be interesting
2272 sigs from being the top petition.
I’d just like to add it’s my birthday and I would like Gordo to get his P45 or sectioned for my present.
119.
Me too. It is just what I want. The perfect gift.
Hung drawn and quartered is acceptable
OT
I see the Grauniad has your Dave the Rave pic, Guido.
Did they pay you for it?
I used to rave too you bastards! I started raving in America…
I’m absolutely raving
What do you mean “used to”?
what is Dave on, it’s still changing faces after 24 hours?
Fears that MPs and Lords congregating in the Palace of Westminster might propagate swine flu because of their proximity to troughs are unfounded. A spokesman said that as MPs and Lords have nothing to do with people outside the Palace of Westminster there is no chance they could contract swine flu from the populace. Only as a purely precautionary measure are special snout shaped masks being stockpiled in the palace.
Typical government disinformation. These Westminster pig-human hybrids are just the intermediary that this virus needs to cross over into the general population.
Grauniad reporting that the House will not sit today because of concerns over swine flu.
The Department of Health said in the circumstances it would send the wrong signal if the House met when current advise is to avoid all crowds, stay indoors and heed travel warnings.
Asked if swine flu in the Commons might spread faster than anywhere else due to excessive pigging in the trough, the spokesman declined to comment but confirmed swine expense vaccine was being provided to all MPs because “it is the right thing to do”.
Due to the amount of traffic to the site the web-site will be created once every 5,10,20 minutes, then cached so it can be served up quicker and reduce load on the web-server. It’s likely it will update shortly, if not, then it’s Zanulab.
The real Dave posted his real picture yesterday, but you have to do a lot of trolling (in more ways than one) to find it.
How about 4 sections and the head on Tyburn Gate?
Funny how 2 people in Scotland have only had mild symptoms and, according to SKY News, are now over the worst and getting better all the time. The next item was an interview with a Doctor, who said it could spread to 40,000 people. Scaremongering or what?
According to report in Mail, until they heard the news their symptoms were so mild they thought they had a bad dose of – jet lag
Two scottish people with mild symptoms of pigus flyingus virus. I wonder who they could be?
Just the usual diversionary tactic from the unpleasant truth that this country is fast disappearing down the toilet. Situation normal.
As a mild diversion for those interested in the flu thing.
30 seconds of advert first, then a fairly interesting interview.
http://www.wpxi.com/video/19313969/index.html
They have just reported the first death outside of Mexico from this alledged pig-flu. A 23 month old child in Texas is the first death in America. Watch the hype explode now!!!
The Do-Nothing-Right Party perhaps, or the Do-Nothing-Honest Party might be nearer the mark.
Arnie has declared a State of Emergency in California.
Seems he’s gone from the Terminator to the Vaccinator.
Our Government is not the only one using it to take people’s minds off unemployment, inflation, reposession, budget deficits (esp California), layoffs and Bankers back at the trough with bonuses even though their banks are being kept afloat by those about to lose or who have already lost their jobs.
Its updated every half hour, because in the meantime the spin doctors are busily knobbling it behind the scenes. The time to start whistleblowing is when your name doesn’t appear after half an hour.
bob roberts, the Petition Creator, joined by:
Looks like the censors have been falling down again. Taken from the petition at 0903 on 29.4.09
Brad Owen
john fisk
I. Wright
Nicola O’Connor
Vaal Ewes
Paul Uppal
Planning Election Party Already
Ewe Turn
Brid Mary Campbell
Phil + Mike Hunt
Endo Boomnbust
David Cameron
The military Wing of the BBC
Jimmy Cricket
Gordon Brown
Erica I Tstartedinam
I like tea cakes
Still can’t get to 10 REAL signatures then
Tacky Jacqui-Smith
Utta Leigh Bonkers
Phil McCrackin
A.Brownmustgo
What’s the point of petitions if more than 100 signatures are removed overnight? Censorship?
How sad. No-one wants you Brown. Just GO!
Winky McFcuknut
Wibble Wobble I like Playing With My Farmy Farm
wheres my pension gone
george bush
McLovin
SNP
Major Ringsting
The Chocolate Starfish
Rusty Sheriffsbadge
Fcuk U Gordon
The Ignoramus with half a brain
“half a brain”, overly generous IMHO
Utter Hoon
S. Notgobbler
But in which direction? And WHY were dozens of signatures removed?
Hazel Blears
I know for a fact that the SNP signature is genuine.
My spouse signed up at 7.30am. There’s still no record of it on the list.
I signed – it was very satisfying
A few probs with Brown-critical petitions I see. To make sure this never happens again, what about a petition demanding the proper management of on-line petitions? Alternatively, why not change to the ultra-safe postal voting system that most corrupt electoral systems encompass.
Talking of petitions how about one of these on the site Guido
http://www.gurkhajustice.org.uk
After all the Gurkha’s are a whole lot more honourable than our politicians most of whom aren’t fit to lick the Gurkha’s boots
They’ve let every other no-hoper in to Britain. These people haven’t even paid a penny piece into our system, let alone fought for our country.
The Ghurkha’s are far more entitled to citizenship than practically any of these other people.
Here Here.
I am happy to concur with that statement and I congratulate your noticing this deliberate and wilful double standard.
The main point recruiting Gurkhas is that they are cheap.
Without that they won’t be recruited.
If they’re not recruited they won’t be able to send home remittance money.
I have submitted the following Freedom of Information request:
—
Dear Sir or Madam,
Two petitions featured recently on the Number10.gov.uk website have seen a number of names being deleted.
These are:
1) We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to resign.
Submitted by Kalvis Jansons – Deadline to sign up by: 22 October 2009
2) We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to carry on leading this great country of ours.
Submitted by bob roberts – Deadline to sign up by: 27 October 2009
For both please can you disclose:
a) The number of signatures deleted from each petition.
b) How the policy for their deletion has been applied.
—
Let’s see what that turns up (not holding my breath though)
he signed the petition
O/T Guido’s old mate Peter Hain has a piece in the Guardian this morning.The kicking he is receiving from his Guardianista posters is even worse than the abuse he used to get on this site.
Just been over there, his arse is getting well and truly kicked. The bogeyman (no, not Gordon) of the BNP is regularly invoked by someone high up in the Labour Party at regular intervals. I actually believe they have a rota, it’s Peter Hoon’s turn this week.
Ha! One of the pro-Hain posters quoted this definition of Fascism without irony, intending to implicate the right:-
“From Merriam-Webster online…
1: a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2: a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control
Elements of this fit snugly into your prison first, police enforced, blame the poor, exalt in the rich, miserable Right Wing vision of paradise”
No they don’t sunshine. The whole thing is almost a perfect description of New Labour including that “prison first, police enforced, blame the poor, exalt in the rich” thingy.
And of course the “exalted race” bit is anyone but the indigenous English. Harriet Harmthenation is currently exalting non-whites and women over white Englishmen. Discrimination means only one thing, Harriet, as does equality. You, I’m sorry to say, are a bigoted, discriminating, racist sexist and quite probably barking mad too.
Funny how the “majority” is used by Labour when it suits their purpose (usually tabloid hysteria to promote new oppressive laws and criminalisation of the English population) but becomes discrimination and inquality when they want to drive the agenda of a “preferred client”, “victim” minority view.
New Labour = New Fascism
ROFLAPM
26,136 calling for resignation as of 0910.
41 calling for the son of the manse to stay…
Gordon, you are the weakest link – bog off!
Gordon will “Do whatever it takes”
It’ll be a real feather in our caps if the silly old misery does resign. What a neat bit of jiggery-pokery that would be!
It would be an unmitigated disaster for Guido’s visitor figures.
Nah, with Cameron to play with Guido is rubbing his hands already!
The imminence of Brown’s departure from No, from government and hopefully from any prospect of gainful employment is beginning to dawn.
What will be his final exit from No 10?
a) Stretchered out, with face blue-grey?
b) Bundled out in a straightjacket by white-coats, his screams subsiding as the injection takes effect?
c)Sobbing, his last journey in the back of a government limo, a bill for broken printers and phones unread on his lap?
As his government was so keen on destroying Parliamentary conventions I feel it only fitting that when he get’s his richly deserved P45 he walk out carrying his possessions in a Farmfoods bag (the supermarket of choice for most of his voters) and pay for his own fucking taxi. Or walk to the tube station like the rest of us have to.
An official limo is waaaay too good for the bastard.
Thanks for triggering the memory, it brings tears to the eyes, of joy.
“We are a grandmother”
In a hearse.
I prefer him taking Kelvin McKenzie’s advice – a stiff drink and a self-inflicted bullet to the head – preferably using a .50 calibre Desert Eagle to get a job done right (that would be a first for him). I for one would be honored if asked to mop up the mess afterwards. In fact if they ran a lottery competition on the clean-up it may go a good way to paying off the public debt…
The alternative? Spending the rest of his life as the butt of universal abject ridicule as the worst Chancellor or PM in history, although this he could avoid by dropping off the map and emigrating to somewhere like Outer Mongolia. Gonna be rough on Sarah wherever they choose to hide.
In the back of police van.
Like Hitler it’ll be us wot let HIM down
Naked and backwards on a donkey.
Paul Uppal the Conservative Candidate for Wolverhampton South West, appears to have genuinely signed the “support Gordon Brown petition”
http://pauluppal.wordpress.com/
and
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/support-the-PM/
Can’t see him getting a seat in the new cabinet then
Surely he just wants to copper fasten Labour’s defeat?
Broon’s the greatest electoral asset that the tories have ever had.
A part of the world famed for dirty tricks and achieving a 500% turnout on postal votes.
Petition to get rid of Brown now almost in first spot!
http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=112498&pid=1851792&st=540&#entry1851792
[...] Brown Bunker set to work cleaning off a whole host of names, over a hundred were removed, and as Guido pointed out the site went offline while they made [...]
Your keyboards still fucked
Were other petitions affected or just this one??
Brown’s big scheme to save his arse:
1. send every household a leaflet on swineflu with a big picture of him doing his cheesy grin on it.
2. change the name swineflu to brownflu.
I had lots of emails on this too. I wrote to the Number 10 webmaster, but did not get a reply.
Add the simple little phrase ‘under FoI’ to whatever request you made or question you asked. They have to reply.
Well done Kalvis, by the way.
Whether the computer broke or was spiked is irrelevant. The fact that most people think the Government would spike it is telling.
Brown won’t really be able to poo hoo it, especially it it becomes #1, without undermining his own PR enterprise.
Very Unlikely indeed to get an additional 2000 on the present rate of growth before PMQ’s today…. unless, that is, everybody gets off their butt and emails it to absolutely any British Citizen or resident they can think of.
If you are in an office, ask those next to you to sign it, then send it on to your customers and suppliers. If you are in a dealing room, go round and check who hasn’t seen it yet.
This petition is adding to the pressure on Brown, and it is shining a spotlight on the divisions inside the corrupt and power-crazed Labour Govt.
All Dave needs to do is say its over the magic figure; if Brown denies it, or appears well-informed, he’s been panicking about it and the job is done anyway..
I wonder if the computer upgrade which caused the petition site problems is the same one that always causes the CCTV’s to fail whenever the police are beating up protesters?
As a BBC spokesperson, I would just like to say that this sort of petty, sniping has no basis in fact. Indeed, my friend Harriet assures me that it is the sort of sexist slander to be anticipated on order-order.com !
Must be nice to be so popular….
http://therantingkingpenguin.blogspot.com/
Fascinating,
Anyway for all the huffing and puffing about a Lisbon treaty what do you people with foam flecked lips think of the fact that the French government and or the German government are set to tighten their stranglehold on UK utilities as they grab the nuclear power industry?
Their nationalised industries have taken over our privatised ones.
The Thatcher privatisations are a complete joke, you can beat the market and the market is on the run.
Enjoy your Jack and Jill story about epetitions, we’re saving all the names.
French government and or the German government are set to tighten their stranglehold on UK utilities as they grab the nuclear power industry?
what do you expect when our corrupt government has the Prime Minister’s brother working for EDF?
No conflict of interest there.
By the way. Your palms. Do you use foam or gel when shaving?
Have you noticed that any new scheme is primarily taken up by EDF and publicised? Bloody Nepotists.
I wonder if Mr Brown’s brother will be spearheading the new nuclear program?
*laughing* Well said jgm2.
JGM2 are you still 62 or have you turned 63 now?
JGM2 are you still 62 or have you turned 63 now?
No idea what you’re talking about. You’ve missed a few iterations there.
Why “foam flecked lips”? Just why is it that socialists cannot accept that there are other political views without trying to belittle them or demonise them? Why, above every other political ideology in history and the world, do socialists have such a problem with “opposition”, “dissent” and “free speech”.
Then, to cap it all, you finish with the nasty, totalitarian threat “we’re saving all the names”.
You really are one sick puppy.
The clue is in the name. He’s a troll. Or a bug-eyed onanist. Or both.
Wipe your mouth
He’s as frustrated as a wanker with two broken wrists.
Ignore him – he would vote for a steaming turd if it was wearing a red rosette.
Which kinda sums up the dichotomy facing your average dogmatic Labour supporter these days, given how many turds will be wearing red rosettes come June 4th. Methinks those Labour voters without nose-pegs and possessing even average intelligence (there must be some) will be staying away from the polling stations.
Surprisingly there are one or two of sound(ish) mind: http://www.labourhome.org/story/2009/4/28/82152/3125
Never been there before.
This bloke talks sense…
im Dodd on Tue Apr 28, 2009 at 03:07:36 PM GMT
I’m so disappointed that this is where we got to. It’s so amateur and predictable. ……
I’m also a little sick and tired of people saying that the problem is that Brown has no charisma. WE DO NOT NEED CHARISMA. We need a competent and capable leader.
He managed to contrive the worst possible result on MPs expenses. Alienated his own party, gave material to the opposition and jumped the gun on the announcement. A cock-up like that takes skill – it really does.
I’ve complained about Brown before – I’m sick of complaining about him. I’m gutted that the entire party have to be held hostage to the man’s sense of entitlement. Always remember, when we do have a leadership election after June 2010, ask every candidate where they were when the job came up last and why they allowed Brown to be rewarded for undermining this Party for 10 years while never coming out to defend it? .
My point exactly. Where were these yellow dogs when they might have done the country some good?
And no doubt polishing your jackboots.
Mr W.
Faced with the choice of New Labour or continental companies running our utilities,I’ve little doubt which is the more likely to bugger them up.
Government owned French and German companies.
Which shows the pointlessness of the privatisations and disproves the Thatcherite view that governments cannot mangage business.
Have we privatised our nuclear industry or something? I thought we couldn’t give it away.
Are you telling me that the French government-backed nuclear industry and the German government-backed nuclear industry is in a better financial situation than the UK’s government-backed nuclear industry?
That will come as no surprise to those of us who recall with fuck-all fondenss the UK’s government-backed motor industry, airline, telephone service, oil industry or gas industry.
D’ya think the Germans would like to buy our hospitals?
D’ya think we could sell our schools to the French? Get some decent teachers in over here?
I’m sure Conservative Governments could run business – given recruitement on talent not on sex, ethnicity, etc -it’s Labour who can’t run business, or government, or an IT system, or even, for that matter, a YourTube video.
The only thing Labour can run is their expense account, list of gongs for fawning apparatchiks, and McBride Comprehensive Schools for Scandal (sub-standard version of the Machivelli Grammars)
PS Great to have at least one troll back – you are such good target practice. Where have the rest of your pals got to recently?
Summer,
You’re a bit thick aren’t you?
How will a Conservative government manage a business if the business has been sold already to the French and/or German governments?
How will a Conservative government manage a business if it privatises it and it ends up in the hands of the French or German government?
The point this illustrates is the ironic consequences, for the little Englanders and ‘dry’ Eurosceptics amongst you, of the Thatcher era and subsequent privatisations.
In your case these questions are rhetorical since apparently you are incapable of responding intelligently.
How will a Conservative government manage a business if it privatises it and it ends up in the hands of the French or German government?
How did the Conservatives (and Whigs and Liberals and, prior to 1997, Labour governments) ‘manage’ the banks successfully even though they were not government institutions?
Effective oversight and competently drafted legislation dear boy.
I ask again. The palms. Foam or gel? Or do you get them waxed? Or use one of them depilatory creams?
Yup to think we fought a world war for now’t
Good Morning! Glad to see you made it in at last.
I do hope you do realise that running a totalitarian state isn’t a 9-5 job. or 9.30 – 4.30 in your case.
The most common of all Island Drinks is rum punch. It is easy to make, store and serve. Whether it is served in a Styrofoam cup or in a stylish manner it is pleasing to the majority. Since the 1700’s, Cruzan Rum has been made on St. Croix . Did you tour the Cruzan Rum Distillery ? What do you need but fruit punch and rum to “think Caribbean “?
248
“mangage business.”
Indeedy Masturbaiter.
Shall report you to Harpic – womangage or persongage maybe….
@250
Not sure what you are driving at with that. Are you trying to make a racial slur with the ‘think Caribbean’ comment? That’s pretty low.
Why bother, you will loose them!
W a n k e r.
“We’re saving all the names”
I could easily believe that of a bullying, bad tempered, spiteful, vindictive twat like Gordon Brown. That you seem to support the idea tells us all we need to know about you and your NuLabour chums.
What are you going to do about it?
Froth?
Froth? Domain of the rabid swine running (or ruining) this nation?
Nah, just put our feet up and enjoy the implosion of your Stalinist party on Election Night Special, both this year at the hors d’oeuvre of local and EU levels and next year at the main course of the GE.
Can’t wait myself. How about you Mr Baiter? Got the popcorn ready or are you frightened of choking on it?
Currently 1,955 signatures shy of the top-spot.
Grab that link & post it, mail it, tweet it, viral it…STOP THAT PIGEON NOW!
It looks as though the throttle is back on a high choke setting. We’ve gone from 26134 to 26325 over the past half hour – meanwhile the “no 50mph” petition has added just 9, but remains ahead on 26558. Another 750 signatures should be enough to get to the number 2 spot (currently 27006 to beat).
It’s got until October to run, I think, so we should get a few million by then.
Well – if it upsets her that much tell her not to look at it then.
Agree whole-heartedly. But I don’t think we can blame Major. In Major the Tories had put up a real ‘Jim Hacker’. A man who was elected to fail.
It took a special kind of incompetent idiot to lose to John Major. Serendipity though was on Labour’s side. For they had that very arsehole. Neil Kinnock.
The Tories even rewarded Neil with a job paying several Million quid fucking things up in Europe. And Neil, committed socialist that he is made it a full family business.
This Labour maladministration owes a debt of gratitude (along with several trillion quid) that it can never repay to Neil Kinnock.
how many thousands of £££££££££ have they spent on computers and systems in no.10?
and as usual it doesnt effing work!
no wonder the nhs computer system is donald too!
what a great advertisement for the bunch of stalinists masquerading as our government….
nothing works and massive state deception……..
they should all be arrested, tried and sent packing without ANY perks!!!!!
just £60 per week like others get on jsa……..
the property portfolios would soon be repossessed.
then thy would all be crying like ms.dunwoody.
how would brown or the rest ever get another job?
lying on a cv doesnt go down well with prospective employers!
Note that after one weekend of having insufficient server capacity to host one petition they ditched the idea of the great database of all communications.
Who says petitions don’t have results?
Wife unit has signed up and name showing :)
Our’s still isn’t there.
Try signing again. I didn’t get a confirmation email, first time round.
Got 3 more to sign up. Names appeared straight away for all of them.
Just noticed on the five most popular petitions section it does not mention who is actually being asked to resign.
26,325 :-)
According to the Telegraph’s financial pages yesterday, banking sector bonuses are set to boom again this year.Would that be the sector that was bailed out by the taxpayer, ran up a (still undisclosed) debt of unimaginable proportions and which McBankrupt promised would be rigorously policed?
BREAKING NEWS:
All UK Media outlets report bewilderment that their Mexican Counterparts get to report BREAKING NEWS that more people are dead which many commentators think is just not fair,
One respected journalist said ” Its just not fair as careers can be made out of these types of tragedy and we are being denied our Golden opportunity. not so much myself but our younger colleagues I am thinking off.”
One such younger colleague said ” This is pish ,I have wet dreams about standing outside a hospital in front of a camera crew wearing my best sadface and reporting more children have succumbed. Instead we have to make do with waffeling on about hypothetical situations involving the so called Armagedon virus which we made up just to get some copy. ”
A government spokesperson said ” You can be assured that we will do whatever it takes to deal with whatever happens, whenver and if ever it ever does.”
The Health secretary was unavailable as he was otherwise engaged attempting to organise a piss up in a brewery.
That is so sick
You must be American as you obviously dont do Irony !
More than 1.7 million people signed a petition on the Downing Street website against road pricing.
And do we have road pricing?
Gives us all hope people…..
just 900 short of first place now.
Shame that PMQ’s was so lamentably bad. They have to pretend to be statesmanslike over the swine-flu hype.
To all the party faithful…………….
Start signing the RNLI petition asap……………
Don’t let the Guidoscum get to the top…………………
Mobilise everyone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No.
I haven’t laughed so much for a good while at the names supporting McMental.
He’s toast.
Here’s my 2p’s worth
Jacqui B’Ploog-Smith
Still on a special, if you hurry.
I see Ben O’Fitz-Scrounger’s there
Do we know if the scottish twat is actually back yet?? or is he still swanning round the world trying to tell other ‘leaders’ how to fuck up their economies??
There is also a facebook group to help spread the news on the internet and invited people to sign the petition. Might be worth spreading the news about that too?
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/readmessage.php?t=76728716940&mbox_pos=0#/group.php?gid=75919320138
26,559 and ground to a halt.
Moderator over load maybe…?
Here’s an analysis of the top 5 over the half hour to 10:00:
Signatures Lead Increase Topic
28290 1731 10 RNLI
27047 488 41 Interest rate
26717 158 2 Uni fees
26577 18 19 50mph
26559 234 resign
Interestingly, 50mph was at 26558 at 09:30
Does anyone else start to get the feeling that there is a similarity with the G20 protests here in that we’re now watching the watchers?
For fans of Mrs Woman on a Raft’s Mandy’s Diary, here’s the latest entry: MANDY’S DIARY TISDAG 28 DUBEN
I’m of a right mind to start a petition calling for the protection of endangered mobile phones from the continued threat of the clunking fist.
Sorry, but we weren’t able to add your signature to the petition, because our site is extremely busy at the moment. Please try again in a few minutes’ time.
I will.
Is that happening right now?
They are messing with this. Hasn’t moved for a while.
As of 10.15am the “Carry On PM” petition was neatly down to only 10 signatures after some keen work by what’s left of the brains in Downing Street.
Unfortunately McBroon is still relying on the following, some of which I suggest are slightly dodgy: Mr I. Wright, Ms Vaal Ewes, Jimmy Cricket, Erica I Tstartedinam, S. Notgobbler, Mo Bilefonerepair (surely an advert?) and Hazel Blears.
Personally I don’t think “Hazel Blears” is genuine; nor the signature.
Bob Roberts is a pseudonym for starters – surprised they allowed it. I believe he was caught writing to the Redditch Advertiser in support of Jacqboots.
Yup I know; the Downing Street machine (happy to accept the support on there now of a certain Mr Tikul Mike Litorus) are preparing to shift their supporters onto the “legitimate” new petition of someone called Terence Griffin.
The new petition has (as of 11.20am) the unconditional and valued support of, er, Kim Griffin plus amongst the other five names a Mr Just Resign.
Nice one.
I’ve got a lot of erm, friends in the RNLI who are very concerned about this licence thingy and I think you will find that a lot of them will be signing the petition today.
Its the right thing to do.
Hardly surprising that it isn’t growing very fast. It was at 26559 this morning, 3 of my friends signed up, confirmed and 15minutes later the counter still at 26559. I thought computers were supposed to excel at simple arithmetic?
It think it is incumbent upon Her Majesty’s loyal opposition to hold up cards reminding Gordon to “Smile” or “Dance” whenever he is at the dispatch box this lunchtime. It would obviously help him out enormously and would make terrific telly.
You are Ed Balls and I claim my £5.
Won’i it be Darling at the dispatch box today? I think so.
BREAKING NEWS:
Panic swept the streets of New York yesterday as a low flying aircraft over Manhattan had thousands of people convinced they were about to be visited by Gordon Brown.
One member of the public summed up the mood when he said ” It just looked like one of those official governmental planes, I was convinced it was Brown”
President Obama said ” I only found out about this when you guys did. You can be rest assured that idiot wont set foot in the US again.”
Of course I could become “paranoid” and assume that its simply a little bit of vote-rigging.
Little bit?
ZanoLieBour don’t do vote rigging by halves, wait for the postal votes being 100% for their candidate.
There is something weird about this site – it has stopped recording new signatures from bona fide signatories. It is hard not to assume that it is being manipulated
You fucking right-wing conspiracy nuts. Evidence – who fucking needs evidence when you’re so bloody paranoid it’s untrue. For fuck’s sake.
Right on, Anonymous. We are strictly above board.
Just because your paranoid it doesn’t mean that everybody isn’t out to get you.
Look at things from poor Gordon’s point of view.
Who knows, but it doesn’t seem very efficient is all I can say. Lets face it, the number of voters is not colossal is it, 25k in a few days? What sort of modern I T system can’t cope with that ?
This bit of fun has the killer ingredient as far as Brown is concerned, which is ridicule. The man is not famous for seeing the funny side of a joke at his expense.
Brown, of course has gone walkabout, but there will be some toady acting as Protector of the PM’s Dignity mindful of the ear bashing he’ll get.
Perhaps the Post can become pensionable; he can wear breeches and be known as Drain Rod.
Up to 3rd now, 26743
should be up to 2nd before PMQs, need another 349 more…. :-) :-)
……the spies are everywhere……we’re all going to die……..better cling to Nurse.
So frustating. I was trying to sign to petition for Gordon to go all day yesterday. I should have known that the site had been broken by MEN.
Nothing to do with us, love.
Now at 3rd place!!
I was in two minds (a bit like the dear schizophrenic leader) wether to sign the resign petition. On the one hand keeping him in place, will just add to Labour’s woes and will continue to provide endless fun and wit at his expense until election time. On the other hand, signing may put a quick end to such a tortured life as PM.
I signed, well its the only humane thing to do!
I’ve got a much quicker solution….
Up 2 places Pop Pickers!
It’s suddenly leapt to third place, perhaps they were just buffering up those numbers after all
It’s just jumped to THIRD :)
Wow, late, and a bad apostrophe, remind me not to write after the morning coffees
Don’t write after morning coffees.
Do it before.
Nothing wrong with your apostrophe, Mr G. Suggest you undertake some remedial English lessons if you think it’s wrong — and send the bill to your LEA, for they have royally fucked you and your parents over.
I’t’s emarrassing’s is’nt it is.
It was one of those ‘Oh no it isn’t’ moments caused by a decline in fiscal policy during the last conservative government. I can confirm to the House that measures are now in place to ensure this never happens again. Is’nt it.
3rd Place now… but run rate was down significantly in the last half hour. My guess would be that the “site too busy” error was common during this period.
Or maybe a nokia mysteriously ‘landed’ on the server, and repair work had to be done, which slowed things up for a few minutes.
We are helping hard-working families and are on their side as we take action with stakeholders going forward to assess the diversity impact of this global petition that started in America. The Tories are the do nothing party.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ……ha ha ha ha ….Can you hear my sides splitting?
I am busy buffering up the unwanted by anyone petition. Please note that with a mere 25,000 supporters, it is clear that 59,975,000 are do-nothing signatories and I am therefore in the right and staying poot.
Yippee! 3rd – 10:32 with 26743 votes.
The Boogieman must be planning his exit now.
Oh, we can only hope.
This week’s Economist had an article on Polyphemus, the Greek Cyclops
“The Cyclops, according to mythology, were a race of bad-tempered and rather stupid one-eyed giants…”
Cant help wordering if its all part of the Economist’s new ‘Drop Gordon’ policy
“Wordering” wins the new word of the day prize.
Still frozen at 26,559 despite several verified new signatures by trusted friends of mine.
No doubt about it – Scotty’s in the engine room hammering the “delete” key – “she’ll nae take much more of this cap’n!” – “…just hold her till we get of of the PMQ force field Scotty!”
I wish someone would beam him up…….
Aye, the dilithium crystals cannae tek it!
Yep, it’s 3rd in the list of popular petitions, & it’s No 1 in the “Government, politics and public administration” category.
Just added to bank interest rate petition under Guido’s real name.
tasty!
You’re in the database.
‘Ere stop messin’ about!
Hi Geroge
I think there is a very real fear of reprisals. I think many people will not sign because they have to give their name and address. They don’t want the tax man or the old bill knocking on the door next week.
Government have already got our names and addresses, probably in triplicate on a lap-top somewhere. If you pay any form of tax it’s inevitable.
who says you have to use a real address?? if people are honestly that scared pick a road, find the postcode and enter that.. easy-peasy…
probably in triplicate on a lap-top somewhere
Probably one left on a train unencrypted already this morning.
All the more reason to sign – they can’t persecute everyone. We have to stand up for our liberty, not hide.
If you’re that paranoid, you should be worrying about what might happen if you don’t sign.
Have courage, you are not alone.
They’re already persecuting everyone. Compulsory fucking ID cards. I ain’t done anything wrong. Why do I have to carry that around?
Don’t let your address go for a walk in the woods
I have a new favourite from the support the PM fantasy petition:
Mr. Ta Xi Forgordon
I suspect there will be another unfortunate server failure before PMQs.
At least Mrs. E Mounbatten Windsor managed to spare 5 mins from her busy schedule to sign the petition.
“Too late cap’n, she’s going up – evacuate the ship!”
I signed over an hour ago, and confirmed the email, my name is still not on the petition list.
We’ve just signed again. Our details were not on the petition. We originally signed it at 7.30 this morning.
Did you get the conf email?
Yep, just signed again – that is the third time this morning and the third time I got an email to confirm.
Computer breakdowns, error messages, 6,000+ deleted signatures, names not getting on list despite confirmation – is this just incompetence or rigging?
Where were you looking?
If they are adding in 30 minute batches, they will be going over the 500 names which are the only ones shown.
Go to view all names and look again.
Could be duplicates that are being removed.
The laughing home secretary
No – no e-mail….and still no e-mail.
Reached third position!!!
Just added to the list within a minute of signing. Seems to be some element of randomness about new additions.
Cherie Booth QC is there, so they are not being particularly vigilant in the short term, (though it could be genuine).
DoverWatch is suggesting that this breakdown was deliberate.
http://doverwatch.blogspot.com
Gordon did it by throwing an American Nokia at the server.
Top 3.
It might be Cherie – there was no love lost between her and Gordy – they hated each other.
Wouldn’t it be funny if it really is Cherie and ‘they’ remove it from the list as a hoax. That’s one human rights lawyer you don’t want batting for the other side.
Even if it’s not quite in the top spot, McLoon’s forearm and hand on the despatch box are going to sound like Ginger Baker on crystal meth and adrenaline. I love a good drum solo – and the “Scanners” bit at the end.
over 26,000 now….. is that enough?
answered my own question… come on people….. 1 hour to get 2k signed
We need another 1,500 to get to number 1
Don’t you worry Gordon, your place in history is well and truly secure.
Biggest clusterfuck. Ever.
Guido,
I checked your link to Bagehot of the Economist.
He and the MSM are just so out of date that they must still be going to work in Morris Minors, drinking Rhine wine and bathing once a week in the tin bath.
Bagehot’s piece included….
“have you seen the one where the prime minister claims he’s saved the world…”
And
“But the comic relief it affords bored office workers is helping to finish off poor Mr Brown. “
Francis Drake commented:
Study the internet blogs and you will see they are a little more irreverent than your good self.
“The Prime Minister” and “Poor Mr Brown” are not descriptions that I have seen anywhere.
The internet is the only media we trust nowadays. The Main Steam Media is now considered dull and has been too eager to be apologists for this corrupt lot in number 10. And we won’t forget.
Like this Labour/Communist government the MSM and especially their mouthpieces the BBC & Sky would be wise to keep their expenses up to date. It will be all over sooner than you think.
Just over 1500 to go………
Loving the names still on the Dear Leader’s petition, even after the purge, they’re quite subtle
Erica I Tstartedinam (the dear leaders favourite phrase)
S. Notgobbler
Mo Bilefonerepair
Ben O’Fitz-Scrounger
Absolutely fabulous
So much laughter
My eyes water
Just emailed Daily Politics to alert / challenge them
Wprth doing the same?
Good idea
we should target the DP to move it on a step and spread the GOOD NEWS
26,951
im hoping Littlejohn migh pick up on it for his friday column…
Number 3 with a bullet
Second now I think
Sorry – another 182 needed
Thanks for the update – I dare not visit the site for fear of sinking the server
Just signed it as ‘Harman Pride’ just in case he / she is busy today.
Ambrose Silk next…
Nobody’s taking that fucking petition seriously, not with all the shitty joke names on it.
If you want to protest about Gordon why not, erm, GET OFF YOUR FAT ENGLISH FUCKIN ARSES!!!!
No wonder you’re all obese and thick down South
I’ll not take lectures from a country whos blokes wear skirts in public, thank you very much.
I’m not a country, I’m a person. Apart from that, carry on
Im not obese
The petition with all the joke names on it is the one to KEEP him.
And please avoid the racist slurs, you thick jock.
The world has moved on.
We can piss Gordon off from work these days – whereas Gordon has prepared for more conventional suppression of the electorate with his Terror Laws, G20 trained Police and purchase of 1′000’s of tazer guns.
Gordon’s woken up late to this internet threat and has now made moves to snoop on your e-mails and web visits. Hopefully we’ll have ejected him before exercises control over the internet.
Stupid boy, If it wasn’t for Jockland voting we might not be in this shit. Ungratefull bastard, It’s us English sending you all our money that stops you living in caves. As for bagpipes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Wrong. Labour has a big majority of MPs in England alone – so this awful Labour government can’t be blamed on how the Scots voted.
Here we go, you English are subsidising us – YAWN
Lies, lies and utter bollocks.
I always wondered who the thick Hoons writing into the Daily Mail about us being subsidy junkies were, I think I’ve found them.
Face it wankstain, we are subsidising YOU!!
And don’t give me the shite about the oil being Shetlands’, or if you draw a 45 degree line from Newcastle that the oil is 50% yours – you know us jocks have been keeping YOU fuckers!!! The gravy train ends next year, son
“No wonder you’re all obese and thick down South”
Hmm…in the obesity and heart disease stakes you Scots have us well and truly beat.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4753087.stm
Something to do with your predilection for deep-fried Mars Bars, cream buns and any other crap you can shovel down your gullets, perchance?
I do understand your embarrassment and shame that “it all started in Scotland” with Gordon Brown. However, a bit of advice: Please please please avoid drawing everyone’s attention to your little nation with comments which indicate a level of IQ on a par with his. To do so is asking to be treated with the same contempt and ridicule as your worst export – the one residing in Downing Street.
But you don’t deny that English are thick, an interesting point. Of course you are dense, you’re going to all vote Tory and get more of the same ZanuLabour type crap, just packaged under a different name. At least us jocks got rid of Labour and picked a government that has ZERO sleaze to its name so far.
You really believe Cameron is the panacea for Britain, don’t you? No wonder us jocks look South and tut in pity….
Obesity and heart disease?? Unfortunately, its the poor state of health in Glasgow that brings down the rest of the nation’s statistics. Deep Fried Mars bars? Glasgow only, my man, and only in the slums.
Have a nice day, y’hear?
No comments allowed on Robinson’s latest eulogy to the glorious leader, I notice.
I noticed the same. Still it stops a load of useless vitriol against the wonderful PM.
Thanks to my Dear Friend Nick.
Indeed, Brown-n-Beard’s photo-op at “Ouch Witch” yesterday was too shamefull for comments to be allowed
Iv’e had the best laugh reading this lot…. I take it Mr Mc Snot (is that his stage name?) isn’t very popular
Surely you can’t be refering to our leader Mc Broon. That would be disrespectful to the miserable lying pension robbing arsehole!
Can’t wait for PMQ’s will have to record it, got to work to pay for the poor bastards wages (fiddles).
I did some simple figuring on the road pricing petition, which got 1,811,424 signatures before it closed on 20th February 2007. The e-petitions website only opened for business sometime in November 2006, so even if we assume it was as early as All Saints’ Day, that would give 111 days that the petition was active – with an average of over 16,000 signatures per day. Presumably the peak rate of signing was much higher.
FoI request: what was the highest rate of signing logged on the e-petitions website, and has capacity subsequently been reduced – if so, to what?
Are we there yet?
Just a little further….
Can I have a sweet?
11.20am. Signed, received my email, clicked link and got “Unfortunately, we weren’t able to confirm your signature, because our site is extremely busy at the moment. Please try again in a few minutes’ time.”
they don’t
I can’t help noticing that the petition number have not changed at all in the last half hour. 45 mins to go to PMQ’s. Any connection?
Stupid Boy!!!! Why ask silly questions!!!
They just lopped 3 off. You don’t think that total will be updated again, before 12.00, do you? Really, really?
Someone maybe trashed the Downing Street server…
Hard luck Gordon, the contacts of the Scottish couple quarantined with swine flu have all tested negatively for the flu.
Back to the drawing board.
It’s going backwards now!
Was the resignation petition the most severely affected by yesterday’s ‘break down’? IF SO, was that because it was the one receiving the most hits, whereas the system could cope with petitions getting fewer hits? That would be the innocent explanation, but one still telling its own story…
A more sinister explanation would be a nokia ’spontaneously’ colliding with the Downing Street server. I’m aware that I am in a strict sense abusing the word ’spontaneous’, but I am ultra cautious. I don’t want to meet the mangled fate of traitors by describing the imagined scenario too precisely. The historical inspiration of this site would be rightly contemptuous.
“Was the resignation petition the most severely affected by yesterday’s ‘break down’? IF SO, was that because it was the one receiving the most hits, whereas the system could cope with petitions getting fewer hits? That would be the innocent explanation, but one still telling its own story…
A more sinister explanation would be a nokia ’spontaneously’ colliding with the Downing Street server. I’m aware that I am in a strict sense abusing the word ’spontaneous’, but I am ultra cautious. I don’t want to meet the mangled fate of traitors by describing the imagined scenario too precisely. The historical inspiration of this site would be rightly contemptuous.”
That was MY post. Please delete original, but not this one if you are feeling generous.
So it seems you’re ok with the strategic industries of the UK being controlled by foreign governments. Judging by the repeated mindless Dan Hannan esque anti European Union drivel on this site many of the other commenters are not ok with it. They would seem to be of the view that everything emanating from Europe is malevolent. What are you French?
In any event unless it has escaped your notice there is a crisis of capitalism unfolding before your myopic eyes and it is occurring all around the world, that’s global. For example the largest US corporation, General Motors is now a government owned company. How’s that for ‘let the market decide’?
Even if she breathes, Thatcherism is dead.
OK?
You may now carry on as you were
Thank you for that, most informative. Appreciate you taking the time to educate us. Once again many thanks, now fuck off.
You know, I’ve been following all of this stuff on the news a lot lately. The economy, house prices and that…It’s pretty hairy in my estimation. Still, I still got a job, I work for an airline as an air traffic controller. It’s tough and you need loads of concentration and that and maps and good eyesight.
I fell asleep this morning in the office. It seemed pretty quiet with the swine flu stuff and flights being cancelled but it didn’t seem important. I drifted off. I woke with a start some time later dwelling on this peculiar dream I had had. It was about Mr Brown winning the next election and everything being okay. The sun was shining, everybody was happy, we all had smiley faces and there was no more war or pain or economic problems. It felt really good.
What are the symptoms of swine flu?
Look out for rashers.
I signed it and it was at 26951.
My name appears well down the list but the total has dropped to 26948.
WTF?
Blears states: “We simply cannot allow a recession to mean another generation reliant on benefits, more estates where few adults are in work, and where children live in families where no-one has a normal job.
We you have two options
1) State employment
2) Private sector employment
By taxing me at 50% and removing the £80,000 P11D cap on company cars you can fuck off if you think I will be creating one more job under a Labour government.
When is the NI going to stop increasing????
Like many I am sitting it out to see the outcome of the next election.
You better get creative and start making a profit from the public sector – your leader has made a very bad call on this one – it’s old fashioned class war
27,130 Still just in 3rd place. Wonder if it will update again before noon?
I formally call upon Dave’s PMQ team, should the Resign Petition reach number one by midday, to allow Dave to mention the “Carry On PM” supporter Mr S Notgobbler who at 11.30am was still making up his numbers (at 20 now).
27,130 – 28 short of 2nd place.
There will be another count at midday, just as PMQ’s begins.
There is definitely something out of character about the growth this morning – it is as if the batches being “comitted” to the live petition were being kept as small as humanly possible. We will know this for certain later in the day.
‘humanly’ ?
Why doesn’t Harriet Harman raise the retirement age for women to match that of men….?
After all, they do live longer, and she’s well up for a bit of “equality” (usually the “equality” that favours women and Muslims of course).
Crap idea – I can’t wait for my wife to retire so that I get my shirts ironed, the lawns cut, the car washed, decent meals and a cup of tea in bed each morning.
You need to find a nice Muslim wife.
The petition currently one above the resign petition appears to have been signed by a number of people who don’t seem to think that it’s worth using a capital letter to start their own name. In the world of on-line scams this is considered an indicator of wrong doings, not proof of them mind you, just a sign that some body might be sitting there making up names all day. Someone maybe in a little office in number 10 trying to keep this poll down the chart, maybe… Just sayin, like..
Also, whilst the RNLI ( a clear case of injustice) and the tuition fees ( a clear case of unfairness) have recieved around 140 extra names since Monday, the interest rate one ( a mere case of caring enough to follow your interest rate on the internet) has suddenly raced ahead and received 375 more names in the same period !!!
Probably a consequence of heavy traffic on the Downing St site, people looking for the first time at other petitions and thinking “I really agree with that”.
I’ve been in that position myself.
No, we’ll be passing over Westminster Bridge and you’ll be sick.
only 29 more needed for 2; this is like a fucking horse race, COME ON!!!
Can the LOTO ask a question whilst consulting his Blackberry? I think it’s worth a go…
We will.
I do not think it is a coincidence that the latest total at 11:30 was recorded as 27,133 – exactly the number that had signed the interest rate petition at 11:00. This has been revised down by 3. However, the next update will unavoidably push the petition to the number 2 spot. The update will occur just after PMQs start – some messenger should get the figures to Cameron before he rises to speak.
If ever there was a case against electronic election voting!
The British government through Westminster Magistrates Court are looking to have John Anthony Hill extradited to the UK, accused of mailing a DVD (with no letter) to a court, to face a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.
Article here:
http://www.wiseupjournal.com/?p=839
That is deeply disturbing.
i’ve signed it just now- no number change, should be ready for an update soon!
You don’t feel like going to the trough.
“Overheard in the Members’ Tea Room in the House of Commons, one Labour MP to another: “I don’t mind Gordon screwing up the global economy, but tell him to leave our expenses alone.”"
http://blogs.news.sky.com/boultonandco/Post:e85a6003-0002-41f2-a58f-4d65b24c70eb
In the tea room? Is there anything we DON’T provide for these parasites?
Here’s PMQs – Come on Cameron :-)
still 29 short of 2nd, but should update any minute now
Up to second – 27331 :-)
2nd place taken
somone tell DC asap!
27331
Top stuff!
Brilliant!!!
He’s telling lies again to the house.
Can anyone tell me if MP’s pay tax?
Yes and no. They pay tax on their incomes (the 67,000ish), but their ‘expenses’, ‘allowances’ and pensions are tax free, often adding up to another 200,000ish once they employ their wives and kids, set up the second home in London etc…
They are, of course, the only people in the whole country who get to decide how much they pay themselves.
From their own website, which has yet to be updated for this year:
http://www.parliament.uk/documents/upload/M05.pdf
Summary of current rates with effect from 1 April 2008
Members’ parliamentary salary £63,291 from 1 April
Allowances
Staffing Allowance Maximum of £100,205
Incidental Expenses Allowance (IEP) Maximum of £22,193
IT equipment (centrally provided) [worth circa £5,000]
Pension provision for Members’ staff 10% of employee’s gross salary
London Supplement £2,916
Additional Costs Allowance Maximum of £24,006
Winding up Allowance Maximum of £40,799
Communications Allowance Maximum of £10,400
Car Mileage (per mile) 40p (for first 10,000 miles)
25p (after 10,000 miles)
Bicycle allowance (per mile) 20p
Motorcycle allowance 24p
Thanks very much.
20p. per mile to ride a bike!
Wow! I’d apply for a job meself, but I’ve got “O” Levels and stuff.
Ah well, nothing said today then.
Roll on Question Time and hope the Beeb don’t edit it.
…..or do we pay for that as well?
Well that was rather boring. Surely Cameron could have asked a couple of serious flu questions, and they all did well to get him talking bollocks about the Gurkhas.
It would have been good if DC could have left one question with which to ask him to resign though, given that more people have now signed the petition than elected him in the first place?
Voting for him now are
# Erica I Tstartedinam
# S. Notgobbler
# Hazel Blears
# Mo Bilefonerepair
# Ben O’Fitz-Scrounger
# Admiral Horatio W. Smurfburger III
# tikul mike litorus
# See-The Bugger-Squirm
# Mr. Ta Xi Forgordon
# rita holland
# The IMF
# The union of Public Sector Non-jobs
# Ernest Titfondler
# Wonko the Sane
# S. Wine-Flu
Vaal Ewes has survived several culls. Well done! Charles Ponzi, the wel known postal voter) only survived one cull.
Maybe time for a competition for the most viable (judged by no. of culls survived) but clearly daft names.
Howzat ?
27835 nr 1 in 90 minutes
After Scotland massively votes SNP in 2010, can we make a deal for you English chaps to keep Brown?
We don’t want him up here, you see. We don’t think he’s Scottish.
For one, he supports the English football team, what self-respecting jock would do that?
Secondly, given the way he behaves, he seems to be more English than Scottish – it’s the nuances of his persona: paranoia, a superiority complex, not listening to his peers, being universally despised in the world – need I say more? Just like the English, who no-one likes.
Actually a second post.
About a year ago on Radio Scotland (BBC McPravda) they had a phone in about why Brown was so unpopular – this was just when he bottled it.
The first 5 calls all blamed “them they english for being so anti scot”.
Nothing to do with him being useless, unelected or “frit” then ?
28003 – getting there…..
Now only 300 behing the RNLI radio licences, at current rates we’ll be number one in an hour (3pm UK). I don’t know what they were doing with the computers yesterday, but it’s back to Monday’s speed of around 600 an hour again.
The support GB petition is back down to 10 after another cull but there’s still a couple of dodgy-looking ones in there….
Serious cull now…. down to 7
Up to 9 with the help of Dan Danvers-Bakersman! Also I cannot believe that I. Wright is not a joke.
Here’s the list from the ‘other’ petition. I’m still not sure that Bob Roberts (Robert Roberts??) is even a real name… Does anyone out there know any of these people?
bob roberts, the Petition Creator, joined by:
* Brad Owen
* john fisk
* I. Wright
* Nicola O’Connor
* Paul Uppal
* Brid Mary Campbell
* rita holland
* peter greenhill
* Dan Danvers-Bakersman
* Robin Scott
I was asked recently by a scot why, as an Englishman, I live in Scotland.
I mused for a moment.
“Well you see” I began, ” we – the English – have travelled the world. During our travels we have brought civilisation to the people we have visited including darkest Africa, the remoter parts of the far east and even the colonies of the new world.
Unfortunately civilising Scotland is taking so much longer to complete.”
319 to go to be the top petition
As at 2.40pm 164 currently to top slot. That should retrigger MSM, maybe a Newsnight mention. Maybe not.
only 13 short now – I’m sure this is going to be like the Sex Pistols “God Save the Queen”
Ist
now at top
copy takers take note
It’s gone gold!
I’ve just signed this petition and received an incorrectly formatted automatic email with no clickable link (pasting the url into a browser worked and added my name to the list), so I tried signing another petition and what do you know – got a perfectly formatted email back this time!
before you go Gooorge, where is my £60 Christmas payment (2008) that was going to kickstart the economy????????
Perhaps its waiting to be announced as a new initiative in August.
There seems to be no further comment on here since my comment at 10.57am today. I hope the Stasi have not been to see Guido??