April 13th, 2009

Guido Confesses

The New Statesman’s James Macintyre, a regular lunching companion of Derek Draper, has just rung up to ask some stupid questions.  One line of questioning was jaw-droppingly bizarre:

JM : Do you deny having links to the intelligence services?
GF : Errrm [bemused pause]. Do you know the name of the Israeli secret intelligence service?
JM : Mossad?
GF :  They are supposed to be the best in the world.
JM : Yes.
GF : Do you know the name of the Irish secret intelligence service?
JM : No.
GF : So why do you think Mossad are better?
JM : Right, but do you deny having links to intelligence services?
GF : You got me, I am agent 003 1/2 of the Irish intelligence service.  You are a total hoon* Macintyre.

It ended up in a shouting match.

UPDATE : Had Macintyre on the phone again. He says this is not accurate.  This bit of the conversation was only a small part of the conversation.  He, to be fair, actually tried 50 ways of asking the same stupid question for the most part.  He says that it was just being juvenile (really).  He also wants to make it clear that it was Guido who called him a hoon* and that could I stop mentioning he is a lunching partner of Derek Draper.  This clarification is to stop his whining.

*Euphemism employed.


  1. 1
    Anton Du Beke says:

    Thanks Kate,

    Oops, sorry wrong thread.

  2. 2
    Merlin says:

    Bizarre, yes, but probably related to your mysterious acquisition of other people’s private correspondence…

  3. 3
    The big D says:

    Was that the outline of an interview for the inaugural copy of the UK edition of the National Enquirer?

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    so lets get this straight guido your now a revolutionary?

    is it cos you is irish?

    ha ha ha

  5. 5
    Gigits says:

    What a hoon

  6. 6
    Blank Xavier says:

    That is pretty damn surreal.

    Be interesting to see what, if anything, they print.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    guido they just dont get that you dont have any allegiance to any party and that your are anti politics. They are looking for the angle.

  8. 8
    Elby The Beserk says:

    Are they all going nuts at the same time? Has Draper been “disappeared”? Is Gordon Brown the Hoon From Outer Space?

    Find out in the next episode, of Wee Gordie and His Loathsome Horde, here, soon.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    oooo guido ive got a mental image of you in a nice little black number with face paints and big guns.

  10. 10
    Jigger says:

    If that’s the sort of basis for NS articles I won’t bother picking it up in future let alone reading it. I expect to see “Guy Fawkes denies links to MI5″ somewhere in the tame Labour press soon.

  11. 11
    steve lloyd. says:

    003 1/2 Licensed to drill. Tories have written probing letter to Sir Gus O’Donnell, asking to answer eight important questions. Can’t wait to see the answers.

  12. 12
    Minekiller says:

    And I am 002 3/4, “licensed to fairly annoy”.

    (And I do have links to Intelligence Services in a number of countries). Does this guy McIntyre actually get paid for asking this sort of thing…god, no wonder the MSM is in shit street.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    hoon = c&..

  14. 14
    Andy Coulson says:

    Doesn’t Dolly still owe James Mcintyre £5,000? can’t you give him some of the £20 grand you made from the Screws and Sunsit Times?

  15. 15
    G2 Operative. says:

    Leave us out of it..

  16. 16
    OhBoyo says:

    It is obvious that you are under attack from the Left. Do be very, very careful. Your phone has been tapped and your computer bugged. Don’t walk down any dark streets on your own. And don’t go to the toilet alone if you visit a pub. It would be wise to be ultra-cautious.

  17. 17
    Mr Ned says:

    So the leftwing media is now claiming that they are being harrased by the intelligence services? Bizarre, considering that the intelligence services are far too busy fitting up “terrorists” to be concerned with compliant left wing media outlets.

    Some of these people in the left wing media need sectioning for their paranoid delusions

  18. 18
    Linda says:

    Watch out for a visit to your humble dwelling by men in black!

  19. 19
    thick as thieves says:

    james ‘retard’ mcintyre clearly has no links whatsoever to intelligence.
    why are our leaders and press stuffed full of so many dumb motherfuckers?
    the Hunts must think that we are as retarded as them.
    their underestimation of the intelligence of the electorate is the reason the new labour war and occupation party is fucked.
    praise the lord for we will soon be free of this useless shower of shit.
    new labour = patronising, spineless, dishonourable wankers.
    hung parliament please.

  20. 20
    Road_Hog says:

    Do these Hoons not realise, that they’re just fanning the fire?

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Jim Dodd says:

    YOU’RE Agent 003 1/2?? So what happened Declan Moffitt? Has he been promoted?

  23. 23
    Elby The Beserk says:

    Apropos of nothing, or maybe not so, it seems that the terrorist suspects they arrested in the recent oh shit it’s all going to hell in a handcart we’d better have a major terror alert mass “terrorist” arrest, will just be sent home. They have no evidence against them of any wrongdoing apart from being illegal immigrants.

    Who would have believed it?

    Pakistani ‘terror plot suspects’ to be deported rather than charged

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Possibly the biggest story never to make it on the BBC’s “Have your say” page ?

    Obviously the question of the moment “Have you ever had to do battle with head lice?” has trumped it.

    FFS BBC, can you make it any more obvious ?

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    003.25 – Isn’t this a tilt towards Brown’s lot thinking MI5 must be out to get them?

    Shades of Wilson’s paranoia?

    Loving it.

  26. 26
    Cardinal del Monte says:

    If there were such a thing as the Irish Secret Intelligence Service, they would wear fluorescent jackets with “Irish Secret Intelligence Service” on the back.

  27. 27
    Minekiller says:

    Guido, Can you also clear this point up….are you linked to the Intelligence Services of EITHER…Andorra or Burkina Faso? It would be good to get this out in the open.

  28. 28

    Then why does th State think it has the god damn right to aquire my private correspondence?

    We employ the State, the State does NOT own US!

    Those who live by the database, will die by the database!

  29. 29
    Mission Impossible IV says:

    Your mission, Guido, If you choose to accept it is ……………….

    This tape will self-destruct in one minute – Good Luck, Guido.

    I think someone has been watching too many spy movies over the Easter hols !!

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Did JM think this up all by himself?

  31. 31
    Minekiller says:

    When you visit their offices it says on the door “If no one in, key is under the mat”

  32. 32
    Blastmaster says:

    “…….beware the tip of a furled umbrella!…” .is I believe, the message here…only venture forth if it is sunny, but there again I believe parasols are making a comeback….my sources tell me these email leaks were orchestrated by our own, our very own dilligent intelligence girls & boys…(but I never told you that right!)

  33. 33
    Messynessy says:

    Revolutionary, Spanish, Roman Catholic Mercenary…..err sorry wrong Fawkes.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    this is getting funnier by the minute………….they are trying to kill us all with laughter.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon Brown’s got a bit of Orish in him…well that is before Paddy O’Mandyboy pulls out.

  36. 36
    NADINE says:

    shouldn’t macintyre get back to making faux documentaries about criminals and dancing on ice?

  37. 37
    Raedwald says:

    Ha! Shades of Harold Wilson’s paranoia about senior spooks plotting to get rid of him for the good of the country.

    Oh. That was true, wasn’t it.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Better start checking under your car, better still, pay a passer- by to get in and start the engine for you…..

  39. 39
    Tommy says:

    No GF did us all an immense favour by revealing these stupid emails. It was not private correspondence anyway. From today they are arerading your emails Merlin. Do you agree with what Damian M was doing? You were paying his salary when he was doing it if you are a taxpayer which I assume you are

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    guido fawkes licenced to grill…………………….

  41. 41
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    Have a group of Socialists been inbreeding for decades and now we’re being forced to witness the fruits of their loins?

  42. 42
    Andrew the NuLab Hater says:

    Shit-for-brains Merlin; since when are emails sent from a government address by a government employee and clearly politically motivated private? Fuck off back to NuLab la-la land won’t you cock.

  43. 43
    Messynessy says:

    Must’ve eaten too much chocolate.

  44. 44
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    Yer, especially if Dolly Draper, fat boy Prescott, Bliar, McNulty or Harman (god I could go on) is walking by.

  45. 45
    Guthrum says:

    Yup, Brown is having nightmares about MI5 and walks in the wood

  46. 46
    Stephen Gash says:

    “Do you have links to the intelligence services?”

    “When did you last beat your wife?”

    “Is everybody with a Celtic name a McMoron?”

  47. 47
    carson says:

    “Irish Secret Intelligence” is surely an oxymoron.

  48. 48
    we demand the trutH says:

    Are Macintyre and Derek Draper bisexual lovers?

  49. 49
    Dream On says:

    I always thought you were an agent for the mysterons not MI5 oops sorry Guido gave that one away or could you be an agent for Littlewoods or the football pools

  50. 50
    Messynessy says:

    Me thinks you’ll be waiting a long, long time.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Extract of a certain shellfish in the ciggies…

  53. 53
    Peter Wright's Scottish publisher says:

    There are only 2 valid answers to the question: Do you work for the intelligence services?

    Either you do, in which case you should answer “NO”, or you don’t, in which case you will also answer “NO”.

    So why ask the question?

  54. 54
    anonymous says:


    I think we’ve been here before somehow.

  55. 55
    Tachybaptus says:

    It is a sign of the terrifying effectiveness of the International Irish Conspiracy that no one has ever heard of it. Its agents are unknown to all, its aims and its methods shrouded in impenetrable mystery, and — most alarming of all — its effects completely imperceptible.

  56. 56
    Captain Mannering of the Homeguard Warmington on Sea. says:

    It won’t end until they find out how Guido got the emails. So Guido are you planning to spill the beans sooner or later. I suggest later as the longer this drags on the bothersome it becomes for No 10 and enjoyable to the rest of us who want to see them fail.

  57. 57
    Bank Haulson says:

    Couldn’t say, but Gash reminds me of Hoon

  58. 58
    jgm2 says:

    I was in New York for 9/11. In the aftermath there were indeed chaps wandering around with ‘Secret Service’ on their jackets and a fucking crest about a foot across on the back.

  59. 59
    Heads on poles says:

    Agreed, looking at anything slightly BBC is getting downright annoying.
    They bring back Dr. Who then think that they then have the right to pi$$ Zanulabour spin all over the licensepayers in return.
    Not a good bargain.

  60. 60
    mcanonymous says:

    “Is everybody with a Celtic name a McMoron?”

    naw ats just whit we want ye tae think

  61. 61
    carson says:

    Not another fucking Mac FFS!

    And why does he think he’s appearing in an episode of ‘The Thick of It,’ the twat.

  62. 62
    Minekiller says:

    Good, eh?

  63. 63
    Tommy says:

    I don’t know – it seems most unlikely since one can’t imagine anyone of any sex fancying either of them. Oh by the way just as I should watch my typing you should watch your grammar Guido “has just rung up” not “rang up”.Otherwise people will think you are just an uneducated draper.

  64. 64
    anonymous admirer says:

    Someone who had been to a good school, such as UC Berkeley, and studied a proper subject, like psychology, might recognise the symptoms of cognitive dissonance here. Dolly simultaneously knows, yet cannot fully admit to himself, that somebody so detests him as to leak career-limiting info. He has even reached the stage of getting friends to back up his denial with paranoid make-believe.

  65. 65
    Plato says:

    Priceless Hoonery.

    What a total prat.

    For those who have been outside in the sunshine and are catching up on the coverage so far – I’ve stuck all my aggregated news on one page – see Smeargate – Action Replay

  66. 66
    BrianSJ says:

    Shush or they will be on to you.
    Alex Jones is an IIC stooge. All this stuff about Illuminati is just to hide the REAL TRUTH (got to use caps for things like that).

  67. 67
  68. 68
    jgm2 says:

    The problem is the UK spooks can’t figure out how Guido got the info so they’re assuming a covert operation by a foreign power. You should never ask a question unless you know the answer.

    Either that or it was a covert operation by a foreign power. And whichever foreign country it was I’d like to say ‘thanks’.

  69. 69
    Messynessy says:

    Actually there IS an Irish Secret Service. They’re known as “The little people” in the Guiness brewery.

  70. 70
    Minekiller says:

    In terms of “links to the intelligence services”, that fact is we are all becoming more closely linked to the intelligence services, when the new ‘get out of Britain form’ is introduced – everyone who travels will be “linked to the intelligence services”, whether you like it or not.

    So next time some dumbtwat journo asks you if you have any links to the intelligence services then the easiest – and truthful answer is ‘yes’.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps the notion of someone publishing the truth seems really mistifying to them? They will be desperately casting round for an explanation to account for this bizzare behaviour.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    who better to teach them as their all skating on thin ice at the moment

  73. 73
    Mr Ned says:

    Merlin, there is NO SUCH THING as private emails thanks to labour’s anal anti-terrorism knee-jerk policies. NO EMAIL IS PRIVATE ANYMORE!!!

  74. 74
    Anon says:

    God knows what goes on in New Labour’s intimate circle.

  75. 75
    Blastmaster says:

    …beware the furled parasol……

  76. 76
    fidothedog says:

    Its the government of Homer Simpsons.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Strikes me that this Irish conspiracy is doing quite well. We seem on course to replace a bunch of tartan twats with a Chancellor whose main concern is his suspender size and MPs who are too busy bonking each other to manage the country. So unlike the homeland of our beloved leader – praise the pope and pass the choirboy.

  78. 78
    Billy Beck says:

    “Lyndon! We can’t get away with calling him a pig-fucker!” (Advisor to Lyndon Johnson during an early campaign in which the latter suggested leaking to the press his opponent’s carnal knowledge of barnyard animals)

    Johnson: “Maybe not, but we can sure as hell make the sonofabitch deny it.”

  79. 79
    NewGirl says:

    Have just discovered all this ….Soooo much fun !!In fact, its like being back at Manchester Uni in DD heyday again…I’m getting all nostalgic! He’s always been such a credit to his cause…

  80. 80
    Anon says:

    Just after the election, if they bother having one.

  81. 81
    Oldfinger says:

    Ah yes, you see that’s the simplest explanation: Mossad. I’ve always got the impression that “Spin Drs” must be wonderful people to work around so why would anyone want to leak against them? The only possible explanation must therefore be Mossad hacked Draper’s computer. Fuckin’ Mossad hackin’ people’s silly joke emails again. Obvious innit?

  82. 82
    Blastmaster says:

    …but I never inhaled…..

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    So Lyndon made that easy mistake so many of us have made – confusing Margaret Beckett with a farmyard animal.

  84. 84
    Plato says:

    hahahah :)

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Guido is the Jack Bauer of blogging!

  86. 86
    Blastmaster says:

    ……now you are falling into rock legend Blair’s trap….

  87. 87
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    The question itself serves no purpose.

    If you have no connections, then the answer is, “No.”

    If you have any connections to an intelligence service, then you will have been briefed to answer the question with, “No.”

    If anyone actually answered, “Yes”, they would be lying, in which case, the real answer would be, “No.”

  88. 88
    Paranoid says:

    Oh God, too funny, the next smear planned is that Guido is acting in collusion with the intelligence services as part of some establishment coup/plot against Gordon? Brown really is losing the plot!

  89. 89
    Messynessy says:

    And I thought people on from another Planet would have a degree of intelligence! Where’s Moulder and Scully when you need ‘em. Beam me up Scotty this is getting too silly for words!

  90. 90
    Wacky says:

    Guido it is clear from you actions that you work for the Centro Nacional de Inteligencia, just come clean now or confess later in the Tower.

  91. 91
    Now will you please stop calling me names says:

    Brown is to write personal letters to all those smeared by emails………(BBC Break Neck News)

  92. 92
    Pat Ibbotson says:

    Eh, yeah, but about that question Macintyre asked you.

    Tell us about Olly Finch.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like the Brownies are thinking more on the lines of Deep Throat and Nixon.

    We can only hope it’s true.

  94. 94
    NewGirl says:

    nooooo the Jason Bourne!

  95. 95
    Cassandra King says:

    No, youre in it whether you like it or not.

  96. 96
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Apologies to 52 for duplicating your effort, I missed your post.

  97. 97
    Ivor Phartparping says:

    Be wary of people carrying umbrellas, ‘ellas, ‘ellas,…. in the sunshine. You don’t want one up it. “Away wid da fairies” is their motto. Beware!!!

  98. 98
    Messynessy says:

    This is all a very cunning plan by the Phoney Blair to get revenge on Gordon. Come on Guido, ‘fess up, how much is he paying you?

  99. 99
    Guido we all know who you are so you can drop this charade says:

    Well done Guido.
    Hope to see a copy of them letters of Gordon’s soon.

    Can you tell us just before he’s emailed them please.


  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    What are you doing trying to destroy the credibility of this blog by suggesting Berkeley is any good.

  101. 101
    Anon says:

    Gordon is writing to all concerned. That’s all right then.

    BBC – Gordon Brown writing personal letters to those smeared in e-mails by Damian McBride

  102. 102
    88p bathplug (10% off) says:

    Not a bad question actually.

    Is Draper now head louse? Surely McBridalsweetie is still a fat head louse.


    Now don’t get me started….

  103. 103
    jgm2 says:

    It’s fishing. It’s like those wartime interrogations you see where you offer the prisoner a cigarette and try to get them to talk about anything other than name, rank and serial number. Loosen your tongue. Get information.

    Pure fishing.


  104. 104
    Oldfinger says:

    Mossad left a traffic cone in my front garden once. Well I think it was Mossad. I suppose it could have been students.

  105. 105
    Jonathan Cook says:

    Looks like they are trying to threaten you Guido………

  106. 106
    Mr Ned says:

    so some on the left are claiming that the tories are behind the emails that defame the tories as a ruse to smear the “good name” of the labour party???


    Extreme cognitive dissonance at play now. I have taken an interest in and posted about several conspiracy theories in my time, but I only post information that is backed up by solid evidence. This conspiracy theory is more stupid than the aliens did it version of 9/11.

  107. 107
    Guido we all know who you are so you can drop this charade says:

    Obo has a fantastic smeargate vid on YouTube –


  108. 108
    Ivor Phartparping says:

    Mi5 bloody well should be. ‘Their job is to protect the UK. Isn’t it?

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    And why does the Scottish Intelligence Service have a Spanish name? You would have thought they would have cleaned the haggis stains off the banknotes they hand over.

  110. 110
    McMoron says:

    leave us out of this…
    MacBroon’s a dufferent traibe

  111. 111
    Richard says:

    Tell him that since “Mossad” means “Institute” it should be “The Mossad”, i.e. “The Institute”.

  112. 112
    Messynessy says:

    OOOh Brown’s going to change the rules for Code of Conduct…….AGAIN! Or rather codes of How NOT to get caught.

  113. 113
    Agent 003 ¾, says:

    It’s all perfectly simple Guido.

    You were asked bizarre questions, – a la DrippingArse and his pseudo-scientific-psychobabble.

    Your answers will be fed into a big so-sher-list machine, and turned into subtle algorithms that will be radiated back into your brain, should you ever be so unlucky as to sit under the studio lights of AlJaBeeba again.

    Nobody knows what will happen then. Probably nothing, – like everything else this piss-poor regime turns it haggard hands on. But it will be very expensive to the taxpayer.

    I think that’s how it works.

    Anyway, here’s a good storyline for you : Noo StatesPerson not only going, but now completely off its rocker :

  114. 114
    Screech says:

    i prefer hung labour party though

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Has NS gone over these days?

    Cos that was what first opened my eyes to how much of a dictatorship britain had become under ZanuLabour.

    A pity, if it has.

  116. 116
    McMoron says:

    at Berkeley = good
    in Berkeley = bad

  117. 117
    Screech says:

    or is that hanged? never quite sure.

  118. 118
    Pugwash says:

    should have told him you work for shin-bet!

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    I remember 7 or 8 years ago, Labour’s Mike O’Brien, then a Home Office minister, waving some printed emails around live on the TV news.

    He claimed these were proof of links between the National Front and the Countryside Alliance and was boasting that his department had “intercepted” them.

  120. 120
    steve lloyd. says:

    Read this somewhere, seems appropriate now.Mc Cyclops’s weekend shopping list, Bread, Milk, Polonium 210.

  121. 121
    Ivor Phartparping says:

    Apologies. Great minds think alike.

  122. 122
    City of Vice says:

    It’s pretty clear from Guido’s bizarre conversation that New Labour and their client journalists in the media are still in smearing mode. Like murderers returning to the scene of the crime, they can’t help themselves. So much for apologizing and moving on.

    Smacks of desperation to me.

    These NuLab clowns are used to operating in cosy, self reinforcing circles or in closely controlled shows. They are totally at sea when confronted by people who challenge them back.

    This scandal is chugging along nicely in the blogesphere ;the MSM are fucked. We know it. They know it.

  123. 123
    xsdogskin says:

    If it is true, it means that there are still patriots in the secret service. Let’s hope so…

  124. 124
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    Does Guido have a mobile number that ends in 007 perhaps? Does he like his lager shaken not stirred?

    My real question to Guido though is do you get as much pussy as James bond does?

  125. 125
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    A couple of points from the last intelligence Committee’s report:

    2. GCHQ is still very, very worried about government plans to allow the use of intercept evidence in court cases. The committee said legislation to allow this could be introduced this year or next year, but only if the government can find a way of meeting stringent tests designed to ensure that the work of the security services is not compromised. Sir David Pepper, the GCHQ director until last summer, told the committee: “It will be very difficult because that set of tests articulates very clearly the set of concerns we have been voicing over the years as reasons why doing it wrong would give us a very, very serious blow back to our capability.”

    3. MI5 is working on a project that will “double [its] investigative capability”. The committee said that when the next stage of the information exploitation programme was completed it would transform MI5’s ability to process and exploit intelligence. “It will improve the way investigators are able to use intelligence from a variety of sources, and provide what the director general has described as ‘trip-wire’ coverage of significant patterns of activity.”

    4. New technology is threatening the security services’ ability to intercept communications. According to the committee, the move to internet protocol (IP)-based communications “will render the UK’s domestic interception capability obsolete over the next decade”. The committee said the Home Office was addressing the problem.

    So that’s you fucked Mcwhatever.

    AH (C)

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Is he putting dogshit in with the letters?

  127. 127
    Bloggers should be scared of Government says:

    That phonecall was just to check you were in.
    Get out wuick Geeds before the NuLab Statzi come to get you!

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    So the fucker still can’t SAY sorry then!!

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Brown has funded the largest increase in the powers and funding of the intrusive state ever. Much more likely they would help him than help nail him.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    walking – or waddling -possibly wobbling – by.

  131. 131
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Better publish the whole interview…get it in first

  132. 132
    City of Vice says:

    Guido, you should have told them that you work for the Smith Institute.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Was Macintyre pissed again and could you hear Draper drunkenly egging him on in the background?

  134. 134
    Nipper says:

    Another rules amendment after the fact when all that had to happen was for Gorgon to use his moral compass in the first place. horse bolted shut gate etc.

    Private letter? – that won’t get him out of the shit either! God, Sky really don’t get it – it’s not the tories perpetuating discussion – it’s the public, the voters, who really have had enough.

    Gordon has just denied anyone else was aware of the emails by McBride. It doesn’t matter – whatever he says the public won’t believe him.

  135. 135
    McMoron says:

    nah… The Drudge of Downing Street

  136. 136
    Ollie Cromwell Shagged my Hampster says:


    Seems to be quite a bit of info for the Red Rag if anyone wants to check out this sort of techno ‘stuff’.

    It may show other domains listed on the server …

  137. 137
    Wilfred says:

    Funny how many libertarians go on about protecting our privacy, but fail to respect it in practice. In two recent cases we are pretty sure that information was stolen: one was the Damian-Green-mole affair and the other is this strange Guido-McBride business. It seems privacy can go to hell when the libertarian right is on the attack.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve come across some ideas that stretch credibility (Uriah Darling having balls, Ann Milton starring in The Grinch – oops, that ones true) but the idea of Oik Osbornes nickname being James Bond must be the funniest of them all.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, do you know “the Big Fellah”? How about that hoon, Eamonn de Valera? General Tom Barry?

    Weren’t you one of those executed for treason in Kilmainham Prison?

    Didn’t I see you in the post office down O’Connell Street?

    Is it true leprechauns live on the top of Croagh Patrick and aren’t they in the Irish Intelligence Service?

  140. 140
    carson says:

    bullshit more like.

  141. 141
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    Can we post on the Red Rag?

  142. 142
    Swivel eyed bunker boys says:

    Send for Marr, tell him to bring a gross of tin foil hats…

  143. 143
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    I see the fat one eyed one has been taking his frustration out on his phones again

  144. 144
    Anon says:

    Brown to send letters over smears


    Gordon Brown is writing personal letters to those mentioned in controversial e-mails written by his ex-adviser Damian McBride.

  145. 145
    fucdifino says:

    sauce goose and gander

  146. 146
    Willie says:

    Chad! It’s as easy as ABC.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Only if you can think up some more really nasty and untrue smear stories about Samantha Cameron and her children. Gordon would be very pleased with that.

  148. 148
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    What even more than Anne Widdicombe taking up pole Dancing?

  149. 149
    hang 'em all says:

    Yeah, especially when a Hunt like McSnide gets screwed.

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Brown will do anything rather than apologise out loud.

  151. 151
    Blastmaster says:

    …..I think you’ll discover that paranoia is what its all about……and it’s working!

  152. 152
    Jacqui five bellies says:

    I bet they leak to Guido first!

  153. 153
    Merlin says:

    Andrew the NuLab Hater: You are right, I had forgotten they were sent from a government address. In that sense they were public—however they had not been *made* public, so the question of acquisiton still stands.

    I do not deny that Gudio has done us a favour, and I am not a Labour supporter.

    Mr Ned: There is indeed such a thing as private email. No government in the world can read adequately encrypted data (emails included), providing proper security precautions are taken. See: http://www.gnupg.org

  154. 154
    Pilly says:

    Surely the only answer is that they in fact work for you???

  155. 155
    Gooey Blob says:

    “My name is Brown. James [Gordon] Brown. 002-and-a-bit, likened to krill.”

    So now Brown is writing letters of apology because his minions were caught implementing his own strategy? This is just the tip of the iceberg, a once fine and honourable political party has been reduced to a laughing stock by the nasty individuals who are currently running the show. It is high time they were replaced.

    Anyway, has Brown come out of hiding to face the music yet?

  156. 156
    Minge says:

    I’m a member of the secret services too. But I guess if Draper and McIntyre were really that plugged in to the matrix, they’d already know that. No wait – the phone’s just started ringing…

  157. 157
    hang 'em all says:

    Either will do.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Good point – although perhaps even that is passed by the idea of Widdi and Nick Soames having an affair. At least thats one rumour that can be squashed on the grounds of physical impossibility.

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    I am so sorry – using the word squashed was completely unintentional.

  160. 160
    Peter Grimes says:

    Monks’ circle for the most part.

  161. 161
    Blastmaster says:

    ..that’s not what you told me in confidence….oooops!..

  162. 162
    Are Sky really Skynet? says:

    In all my years of using the Internet I have never seen so many public comments with so few spelling or grammatical errors on one page.

    Are the comments on this blog all written by one person I wonder?? It’s very suspicious.

    Perhaps someone can put my mind at rest by adding a comment that misspells the word “loser” as “looser”?

    On second thoughts, let me do it.


    There, I feel a lot better now.

  163. 163
    The HaHaHapersons Prude says:

    Us pathetic whining Harridan wimmin don’t like the words Red Rag. It reminds us of something, but we don’t know what.

  164. 164
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Will these become “open”

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    Christ Guido – you certainly stirred up the lefties this time mate – got any more stuff to upset them still more – best holiday weekend I can remember in years – what a load of vicious wankers -

  166. 166
    Peter Grimes says:

    ‘We’, Wilfred, that’s a pretty ZaNuLieBor inclusive ‘we’ isn’t it?

    And where is your fucking proof, dickhead, or is this just another smear?

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry Im a complete Hoon for writing that.

  168. 168
    BrianSJ says:

    Red Box at


    has an open letter from Gordon Brown about McBride. Pretty pathetic stuff. If we had had a competition to write such a letter, he’d have come third.

  169. 169
    Pip says:

    Dear Mr. Osborne,
    I have been away but upon my return I discovered terrible things had been done in my absence.
    As I was completely incommunicado (my mobile had accidentally been damaged) I could not take total control and rectify the situation as I have all other troubles in the world.
    I am shocked that mental health, transvestism and drug addiction should be mocked in such away. I am of course unbearably sad that you all have these afflictions but I have pumped millions and billions into the NHS to ensure that people such as your afflicted selves can be helped. I blame public schools but of course you know where it all started (but please don’t repeat this to Obama).
    I have now moved on from this.
    Yours faithfully,
    Your Prime Minister
    Mr. Gordon Brown.
    cc all my spin doctors including the new chappie.

  170. 170
    Sparticus says:

    I AM GUIDO !

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    Well done that man!

    You hav dun enuff ter geta a proiz!

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Easter Rising

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    Sky said (approx 10 mins ago) Gordon says (according to his written “communique”) that McBride is going to write the personal letters to all victims. Presumably this will be in his own time and at his own expense? Will he sign them per pro Gordon Brown?

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Doh – its got a spell checker otherwise mine wud be full of erras – but as for unelected brown you got it right despite the hidden spelling mistate!

  175. 175
    Peter Grimes says:

    “And don’t go to the toilet alone if you visit a pub. ”

    In case Lady Mandybum or AndySeveninches unzips alongside you. You never know what you might catch!

  176. 176
    Mzzz. J. Boot says:

    Don’t talk about Plugs!! Please!

  177. 177
    steve lloyd. says:


  178. 178
    Blastmaster says:

    …oh oh…so naive……but you never heard it from me right!

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    L is for Labour

    L is for lice

  180. 180
    anon126 says:

    as I write elsewhere ( http://anon126.blogspot.com/2009/04/guido-fawkes-spy-shcocker.html ) it is just so obvious. It is the desperate searching for anyway to undermine Guido and to make the story about something else – the security services being behind the plot to undermine labour. All an attempt to divert us from the real scandal of Brown et al.

    I just find it very amateur.

  181. 181
    Wittgenstein says:

    Agree – it’s not private correspondence. If he was using official Downing Street email system it was all subject to Freedom of Info Act – and hence open to us all. GF just got hold of it first for all our benefit – for which, many thanks!

  182. 182
    Blastmaster says:

    ….and where do think bears shit?…….

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:


  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    Guido you should have handled it this way.

    Hello Mr F

    Hello Hack

    Hack: Tell me Mr F are you in the security services?
    Mr F: Do you think they are behind this?

    Hack: Yes I do.

    Mr F: But you support Labour.

    Hack: Yes fine men and women who support the working class.

    Mr F: The same men and women who want to introduce 90 days detention, ID cards and Special Powers against Terrorists. Who would then give those same powers to the security services, who you think are behind this?

    Hack: Oh erm …

  185. 185
    Peter Grimes says:

    And did the prize hoon think that Guido would do a met police ‘you got me bank to rights, guv, can I cop a plea?’

    McIntyre (is that ANOTHER Jockanes monicker?) is probably in the ‘government’s’ pay if he asked such dumb questions. They are stupid enough to ask someone to do it!

  186. 186
    Blastmaster says:

    …but you never heard it from me right!……

  187. 187
    A pale, fearty, snivelling, grovelling, cheating, lying thieving little shit, says:

    I’m still hiding here behind this sofa! But I’ve got my big colouring book, and I’m writing the letters on the floor with my big crayons!

    But Nurse!!! – make the nasty men go away!

    Then can I use my potty for another urgent jobby!

  188. 188
    Gooey Blob says:

    That’s not good enough. The smear campaign is Gordon’s baby, his political strategy. Gordon should be apologising, not hiding away somewhere.

  189. 189
    Dinsdale says:

    Nu-lay-bore: Rotten, absolutely rotten to the core

  190. 190
    Blastmaster says:

    …I never told you that right!…..

  191. 191
    Call me Infidel says:

    No they would never have an decryption key for that would they. If someone somewhere wants to read your mail they will. Once it gets outside of your internal network it is as secure as a postcard.

  192. 192
    The Prisoner says:

    Number 6: Where am I?
    Number 2: In the Village.
    Number 6: What do you want?
    Number 2: We want information.
    Number 6: Whose side are you on?
    Number 2: That would be telling. We want information… information… information.
    Number 6: You won’t get it.
    Number 2: By hook or by crook, we will.
    Number 6: Who are you?
    Number 2: The new Number 2.
    Number 6: Who is Number 1?
    Number 2: You are Number 6.
    Number 6: I am not a number, I am a free man.

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    It’s any way you like darlin’ – tho I must say I like a nice little tight one sometimes!

  194. 194
    Kate says:

    Mine should be enough.

  195. 195
    anonymous update says:

    Sky now say (about 10 mins ago) that Gordon has already written to all those involved.

  196. 196
    A Loser says:

    It’s any way you like darlin’ – tho I must say I like a nice little tight one sometimes!

  197. 197
    This place is fucked says:

    How can 114 people be arrested on “suspicion” to “conspire” ????

  198. 198
    I've shagged Darling's eyebrows says:

    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper
    James Macintyre is a lunching partner of Derek Draper

    Now spank me pleeeeaaaasssssseeeeee

  199. 199
    Blastmaster says:

    …I never told you nuffink awright!….

  200. 200
    The big D says:

    That was a YouTube posting after the Dan Hanan video. Still appropriate though.

  201. 201
    The Chits Rat says:

    Good work Fella! I like reading about blustering tossers being nonplussed.

    Mind you there’s a lot of room for plausible deniability around “links to the intelligence services”… Protesting innocence is pretty much admitting it!:P

    Come to think of it, that’s a bit like the sort of deniability as to what may or may not have been put on a mailserver, by a certain SpAd. Up until his master had him put down for having ‘Whitehall Rabies’ and biting him most egregiously, right in the electorate!

    I wonder if (as part of a criminal investigation, say into a high impact slander/libel case), what’s left of the NHTCU would be able to resolve the matter? They would of course need access; But then, as the last tenant was more than happy to oblige, could the current incumbent be any less keen to winkle out the truth? Especially as he had his trust betrayed by someone who was either part of the furniture or an unknown quantity, dependant on who’s veiws you subscribe to.

    “Honi soit qui mal y pense”

  202. 202
    Do you have a warrant says:

    Don’t tell them anything Guido.

    INGSOC will only disseminate the information.

  203. 203
    Do you have a warrant says:

    Truth is a lie, war is peace.

  204. 204
    Spellcheck alert says:


    The variation most commonly used in our local area is WAKNER actually.

  205. 205
  206. 206
    Anonymous says:

    Tomorrow’s headlines in the Mirror?

    “Guido Fawkes refuses to deny MI5 links”
    “Guido Fawkes refuses to deny his extra-terrestrial origins”
    “Guido Fawkes denies involvement in Diana death”

  207. 207
    Screech says:

    It’s just that most of us possess more intelligence than Nuliebour would have you believe.

  208. 208

    Probably a good time to air my[moggy] Derek Draper story.

    I was about 19 or 20, and involved in Young Labour, my boyfriend Stephen was the chair of the UCL Labour society and we all believed that Blair would usher in a new era of equality and happiness and what-not.

    I went to some thing in that pub opposite the houses of parliament that Dolly had set up to do with London Young Fabians and I was chatting to him afterwards. Stephen had left. Suddenly he changed the topic of the chat from the state of the NHS in London to a stream of total filth about what he would like to do to me. I was flattered, actually. I was young and no one had ever said such dirty things before, especially not so unexpectedly. I was turned on, I admit it.So I agreed to meet him at his flat.

    I know this is bad and slutty behaviour and was totally unfair to lovely Stephen (who was younger and fitter and much better looking than Draper – I later found out Draper agreed with me but that’s later…) and I am not saying I come out of this looking good.

    During the time between meeting him and the date of our assignation I started to learn more things about him. It turned out that I hadn’t turned his head, and he said these sorts of things to anyone, male or female, he spent 5 minutes with who he found even vaguely attractive.

    My pride was hurt. I thought I was special. I thought he had fallen madly and deeply in lust with me and I was cross to discover that he did that to all the girls (and boys) and also I found out that he liked his then girlfriend Charlotte Raven (hatchet faced Myra Hindley lookalike) to tie him up and call him a naughty little boy.

  209. 209
    Jumbo says:

    Please can I have the hoon’s mobile number so I can set up my PC to ring it intermittently throughout the night

  210. 210
    Small defenceless person says:

    That big brute Guido ate my hampster!

    It’s true!

  211. 211
    Wil Smith says:

    Here come da men in black
    Galaxy Defenders!
    Here comes the hoonish hack,
    in a diaper with suspenders!

  212. 212
    Anonymous says:

    M15 is in the process of being broken up into 9 regional units prior to the transfere of power.

  213. 213

    Reading Blogs is like wearing the sun glasses in the film They Live

  214. 214
    Avon says:

    Someone should tell him that they wont get any post till Wednesday. He should really use e-mail. :-)

  215. 215
    Now there's a shocking headline... says:

    “Guide Fawkes house NOT burgled”
    “Guido Fawkes phone NOT tapped”
    “Guido Fawkes mail NOT intercepted”
    “Guido Fawkes STILL not murdered.”

  216. 216
    JUSTIN says:

    I can’t believe that they’re STILL asking the “do you deny…” question so they can print the smoking gun comment “Mr X denied…” Oh well, I suppose some people still fall for it.

  217. 217

    Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    Cats just died – shit Guido its all your fault!! – but I love you to bits

  219. 219
    Call me Infidel says:

    And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.


  220. 220
    TomnotBower says:

    I think that advice covers 75% of the population

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

    “and that could I stop mentioning he is a lunching partner of Derek Draper”

    Soooo fucking funny, thank you so much for the laugh.

  222. 222
    Like a Record says:

    They are on wiki

  223. 223
    JUSTIN says:

    Come to think of it, if he thought you were a spy, perhaps the poor lad was confused by his Google search – and thought that you were your 511, last one out of the cellars is a martyr, namesake?

  224. 224
    Newsed1 says:

    This is a well-worn left wing UK paranoia. Remember that glorious series GBH? Written by a lefty who was appalled at ‘Labour’ politicians (aka Hatton in Liverpool) behaving like the mafia.

    The whole series took the militant plot and exposed it completely – then in the last episode, he bottles it. The secret services are involved and it’s ‘revealed’ that the real reason Murray (Hatton) is a McBride-style nutter is because of the childhood phsyco-torture inflicted in him by a judge’s daughter.

    So Militant Liverpool it was all the fault of the class system and the secret services were stoking it up!

    Remember, remember – the Left always thinks there’s a plot on the other side, because there’s always a backroom plot behind everything they do.

    The zeitgeist and spontaneous angry comment cannot exist in the Leftish mind.

  225. 225

    I can think of rather too many ways the emails could exit the server.

    But I’m not going to say how I think they got out.

    “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” Napoleon Bonaparte (Not Solo).

  226. 226
    Avon says:

    “once fine and honourable political party” Come on WHEN? ROTFLMAO

  227. 227
    Gooey Blob says:

    Brown is referring to the smears in the emails as “unsubstantiated”, rather than lies. He’s still trying to imply that the allegations could be true, though unproven. That pretty much gives the game away, does it not? The smear campaign was, and still is, supported by Gordon Brown. He is still in smear mode.

    Gordon Brown, this is not good enough. Explain yourself or resign.

  228. 228

    Socialism IS a mental illness. The above is just more proof.

    PROJECTION + Envy + Narcissism = Socialism.

  229. 229
    Mr Christopher says:

    Shades of Peter Wright and the claim that the secret police had bugged Harold Wilson’s office.

    If the secret police wanted Brown out, they’d just show him what they’ve got on him and his gang over the years, and tell him to find a reason to resign by the end of week.

    But with crooks like John “Dodgy Dossier” Scarlett at the head of SIS, Brown has little to fear from a secret putsch.

  230. 230
    Anonymous says:


  231. 231
    Peter Grimes says:

    When are you going to give the lie to Watson’s claim that he is ‘too smart to use e-mail’, Guido?

  232. 232
    Merlin says:

    …erm, I don’t think you’ve quite understood, Call me Infidel. Do you know what an asymmetric key pair is? You have one key for encrypting (which is public; anyone can see it), and another for decrypting (which is private; only the recipient has it). When you send a message you encrypt it with your recipient’s *public* key, and then only his *private* key can decrypt it—which of course no one else has.

    Or were you referring to the fact that the government can now legally force you to divulge keys if they can prove you have them? It seems unlikely, given your assertion that encrypted email is ‘as secure as a postcard’ (even if the government can ask for your keys, nobody else can), but if you were then bear in mind that:

    a) The public key used to encrypt the message cannot decrypt it. Only the recipient has the private key, you do not.

    b) You are advised to take other appropriate security precautions, which will ensure that the government cannot prove you have any relevant keys and therefore cannot force you to divulge them.

    See also: http://www.truecrypt.org/

  233. 233
    Cinna says:

    Gordon Brown has written personal letters to those mentioned in controversial e-mails sent by his ex-adviser Damian McBride.

  234. 234
    Newsed1 says:

    Anybody read The Times’ leader today?

    It delivered a right bollocking for Brown which partly pretended that The Times didn’t really know that New Lab has been like this for 15 years, but it did make clear that Brown will have to knock the back-stabbing on the head, or the paper will be going in head-first on Labour in the future.

    Although there’s no chance that Brown will be able to stop himself, it is a measure of the scale of the warning he’s had this weekend from decent Labour supporters that he his going to write groveling letters to the Tories.

    Even Ashley in the Guardian today gave Broon a warning shot.

    Anybody get the sense that the MSM and decent Labour has decided Brown’s school-of-Fife evil plotting has gone on long enough and that there will now – finally – be a concerted stand against it?

  235. 235
    Maguire-hater says:

    Yep – took The Times today for the first time in 24 years having decided to stop the Labourgraph given its now obvious moral corruption. Thought the Times leader was reasonable and not too self-serving.

  236. 236

    Perhaps they don’t want those powers as they know that
    a) they’ll be more trouble than use.
    b) They’re really designed to be kickback programs to allow Labour donations.

  237. 237
    Anonymous says:

    You’re a rubbish secret agent – I’ve seen you on telly.

    For God’s sake get a dinner jacket.

  238. 238
    P Ondering says:

    o/t :
    what do you suppose the official address of the future Prime Minister will be ?
    Down(the pan)ing Street can’t be used since it is obviously contaminated and will remain unsafe for carbon-based life-forms for decades.
    And how will the walking bio-hazards currently infesting Downing Street be disposed of ?

  239. 239
    rugfish says:


    In a letter to the Cabinet Secretary, Gus O’Donnell, Mr Brown said he was ready to take “whatever action is required” to prevent a repeat of the row.

    He also calls for anyone caught “disseminating inappropriate material” to automatically lose their jobs.

    The prime minister wrote: “I have already taken responsibility for acting on this – first by accepting Mr McBride’s resignation and by making it clear to all concerned that such actions have no part to play in the public life of our country.

    “I have also written personally to all those who were subject to these unsubstantiated claims.”

    Among Mr Brown’s suggested revisions to the code is the proposal that special advisers should not be allowed to use official resources for party political purposes.
    The prime minister said the e-mails sent were a “matter of great regret”.

  240. 240
    Ivor the Boneless says:

    Does’nt PGP only encryt the text body and leave the header fields clear? You should probably use a proxy service to disguise your email address and IP address.

  241. 241

    I can understand that he doesn’t want it repeated that he lunches with Draper, who would?

    As for the Irish Secret Service, even the Irish Government isn’t sure.

    David T Breaker

  242. 242
    Hazel Blears says:

    Bla, bala, Goredon is going what he’s best at “getting on with the job”, bla, bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla,bla,bla, bla.

  243. 243
    Mr Christopher says:

    MI5 has grown fat and prosperous as they seek to give substance to the Amercan Terror Beliefs espoused by New Labour, so I should think they are grateful to Brown and his accomplices for giving them a new lease of life after the end of the Cold War.

    This talk of ‘national security’ has been in the air for days, and is always an option for closing down the entire affair from further public view if Brown looks like falling from his perch, and a red herring to draw away from the fact that a captain is responsible for all that goes on aboard his ship.

  244. 244
    A shepherd's crook says:

    Just had that bloke Dolly on the phone? He’s asking if can you stop referring to him as a cloned sheep?

    He reckons he’s herd you say that he makes things up on the hoof?

    I told him to stop being so beastly and to flock off.

  245. 245
    Ian Thorpe says:

    That must have entertained the other people in the restaurant.

    Any news on when that nice girl from breakfast tele is dumping Dolly. Beaing married to a smearer is not good for the Breakfast tele Little Miss Sunshine image is it.

    And as Dolly left the spin industry to be a shrink is there any chance of him diagnosing Brown’s particular psychosis any time soom?

  246. 246
    smallbiz says:

    Quote from Charlotte Raven 1998

    “As a leading light in the Labour Club, Derek was surrounded by fawning acolytes and his behaviour became worse and worse. Like all petty tyrants, he mistakenly believed himself invulnerable. We managed to oust him from his post of Communications Officer on a technicality. But people had wanted rid of him for a long time”

    More insight into the sad sad world of 80s Leftie student politics that these idiots are ‘working through':


  247. 247
    A shepherd's crook says:

    Baaah, baaah, baaah, surely?

  248. 248
  249. 249
    Righteous indignation man says:

    Jesus H Christ on a bike, when the bloody bleeding hell did British politics become such a quagmire of ineptitude, idiocy and – well, more idiocy? I’m about as a-political as it gets but with the economy in melt-down, rampant nationalism about to ignite a whole bunch of new and exciting wars around the world and whatever is left of the planet preparing to consume itself in environmental catastrophe shouldn’t our so called leaders be doing something a little more practical than pointing fingers at each other for a bit of drunken university cross-dressing? Blimey, if that’s all George Osborne’s been up to then elevate him to Papal status right now. Who gives a duck?

    Except someone does; so slimy son of a door in number 10 thinks this is more interesting to the cool Britpop public than (economy, international relations, environment, corruption in govt, failing education, MRSA, armed forces conditions, delete as applicable) other stuff. It’d be like the Ministry of Truth if they could find their arses with both hands. Who could have imagined it – Big Brother may be watching you, trouble is he’s incompetent…

    Also… I’d like to see Tony Blaire’s head on a pike outside traitors gate. I think he’s committed treason with the thing’s he’s done to this country and Gordo is merely his fall-guy. AND I actually voted for the SoB in 97 (so apologies to everyone, everywhere, in all countries and throughout history). BTW, this is merely a suggestion, an indication of preference, not an actual call to action. I’m British, and therefore have no balls…

    S’okay, I filed this in the waste paper basket before sending it… Oops…!

  250. 250
    Peter Grimes says:

    Ah, so Guido is an Oirish spy! It’s when the article says ‘smoke and daggers’ that you know that it refers to GF’s weapons!

    Mind you, McDoom’s weapons are piss & wind!

  251. 251
    arse!! says:

    Please tell me you recorded it?
    I would pay a fiver to listen to that.
    The sound track would be,”they’re coming to take me away, haha hoho hoo,haha!
    Keep it up Guido. Good write up in the Sun tday by Trevor ? what’s hisname?
    Ido feel a bit sorry for draper,he’s not got a fatlabour polatician pension to fall back on. He’s got to be next to go ?

  252. 252

    All credit to Guido for being handed a sensational story and passing it on, but a practitioner of the dark arts he is not.

    The proposition that Mr Fawkes is a not member of any secret intelligence organisation is a good a case of plausible deniability as it is possible to make, it being highly plausible that subtle handling of secret intelligence or disimulation is not his forte.

  253. 253
    JMT says:

    “Among Mr Brown’s suggested revisions to the code is the proposal that special advisers should not be allowed to use official resources for party political purposes”

    i.e. That way there is no chance of info getting outside, nor being subject to Freedom Of Information requests.

    “The prime minister said the e-mails sent were a “matter of great regret”.”

    Fuck it – those fuckwits have fucked up again and that evil fuck Guido has fucking caught us out again!!!

  254. 254
    Prescient or what? says:

    Draper’s new website Labourlist is an abombination of bias and vitriol! It constantly lavishes praise on The Great Leader and, unlike the successful right and centre right sites, can never succeed with this style in the blogosphere..we give it 6 months.

    Mr Draper himself is a strange fellow. A real ‘psychiatrist’ or whatever qualification he personally claims, would have no hesitation in introducing him to an anger management program. If our ‘psychologically flawed’ PM (that’s a Labour description from one who knows him remember) is taking his advice from this Angry not-so-young Man we should all be scared but not surprised at the PR rail crash around the bend!

    Yep, it’s a quote from the Klingon himself on January 22nd, 2009…


  255. 255
    Mr Christopher says:

    Interesting to see how many have crawled ashore from the same pool of filth to paralyse and hi-jack the democratic process of our country.

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    he can live on his wife’s wages, then she’s pretty useless too

  257. 257
    Anonymous says:

    Is Charlotte Raven her real name? She sounds like a poorly thought through baddie from Buffy the Vampire Slayer…

  258. 258
    Scrof says:

    All very well, Merlin, but I’d rather live in an environment where I didn’t have to take elaborate security precautions to stop the bloody government snooping on me.

  259. 259
    Aonad Speisialta Bleachtaireachta says:

    Leave us out of it too..

  260. 260
    delphius1 says:

    So now paranoia is taking over at Labour HQ?

    Good. Maybe it’ll teach them a lesson in how we all feel to have our conversations, messages and movements snooped on.

    How does it feel when the shoe is on the other foot eh you mendacious knobjockeys?

    TBH I don’t give a fuck where or how Guido got his info. The fact that No10 was caught in the act proves a public interest defence and now the handwringing and “mates of mates” phoning up for info shows just how close it got to the top.

    Good work Guido.

    Just be careful.

  261. 261
    Barrie says:

    I think Irish intelligence is a very well-kept secret

  262. 262
    Merlin says:

    So would I, Scrof, so would I—and we have Guido to thank for helping us move in that direction.

  263. 263
    Vladimir says:


  264. 264
    Blank Xavier says:

    > Had Macintyre on the phone again. He says this is not accurate.

    Why doesn’t he start his own blog and post his side of the story??

  265. 265
    Nabidana says:

    Guido Fawkes denies Dog Dirt theft and membership of the IRA in an article I just intercepted from the Mirror’s secure email system.


  266. 266
    Blank Xavier says:

    > and that could I stop mentioning he is a lunching partner of Derek Draper.

    Wait a sec…do you mean he’s a lunching partner of Derek Draper!?!!

  267. 267

    Point of order – this was a freebie.

  268. 268
    Primrose Hillbilly says:

    Does anyone know if Draper still hangs out in the same Primrose Hill pad as he did during the “cash for access” row that saw him defenestrated last time round?

    It’s only a short walk over the Hill from my mansion, and, were this so, I could put a couple of my stable lads outside to track his every move, taunting him all the while with talk of phoney qualifications, dumb e-mail correspondence with scotish quasi civil servants, or even inviting him to comment upon any STD’s that he may definitively know Cameron to have contracted.

    He used to live in a flat near the end of a curving road that fed into the top end of Chalcot Square.

    During his last inglorious episode, the number of the open top car that he was interviewed in while bragging about access to the top 17 people of influence in the UK , parked outside, and the name tag on the bell gave it away a bit.

    The sooner that talentless caaaaaaaaaaaaaaants like him are forced to look themselves in the mirror, realise that the more they promote themselves, the more decent people will turn against them in revulsion, the better.

    Love you Guido. Let me know, all.

  269. 269
    chris says:

    Just to say Thanks! Guido. Really enjoyable weekend. Knew nothing about blogging before Saturday. I am now a completely obsessed nihilist blogger. So thank you too Bazel Hlears. As I am what would be regarded as a middle england grandmother from working class roots no doubt I need some help from a good psychobabblist. Guess one who has studied near Berkeley would be best. PS where is Mandy? Surely he should be at the right hand of his great leader offering support?

  270. 270
    Minekiller says:

    Welcome to the crew!

  271. 271
    grobdj says:

    I thought they just bolted yellow flashing lights on their transit vans

  272. 272
    Minekiller says:

    Dammit, I go out for a quick dinner, get back and there are scores of new posts! I suppose a welcome is in order for all those who have as a result of GF’s publicity-fest over the last few days. Worth pointing out to all you FNGs that this has been a long crusade for Guido, supported by some dedicated Co-conspirators and there is yet work to be done.

  273. 273
    grobdj says:

    Ref my post on Guido’s next thread, Browns letter of regret is written in the first person apart from the statement

    “But it is also important to make sure such behaviour does not happen again.”

    Sounds like a split personality talking to himself

  274. 274
    Anonymous says:

    I particularly enjoyed that bit too.

    Is DD now officially a non-person?

  275. 275
    spy -vs- spy says:

    Charlie Whelan’s colleague.

  276. 276
    chris says:

    You really must stop eating pub food it’s not good for you. Gordon. our great leader and Hazel his cheerleader are drafting laws to make sure you eat salad and fruit preferably bought from abroad. That way we can help to keep protectionist economic policies from taking root. ie Don’t buy British. It’s against the loony labour policy.

  277. 277
    Anonymous says:

    i’d avoid the sushi and strolling in the woods, if i were you

  278. 278
    Reptile keeper says:

    >> Suddenly he changed the topic of the chat from the state of the NHS in London to a stream of total filth about what he would like to do to me.

    I didn’t realise that Draper and Livingstone were related…

  279. 279
    NewGirl says:

    why, thank you! I feel one of the gang already…

  280. 280
    chris says:

    Also meant to say that I am going to be lobbying my friends in the WI, the parochial Church council and the family history society to also support you. But then Gordon Brown is already legislating to abolish those anarchist institutions, so guess they’ll only be able to help for a while. Did you hear that he is also introducing a law to tax how often we breathe? I have this on the absolutely irrefutable word of the Office of the Parliamentary Counsel who is currently drafting this legislation.

  281. 281
    Mitch says:

    That McBride fucktard must be the only man alive except dolly who makes gordon look smartly dressed.

  282. 282
    NewGirl says:

    not you aswell…? There’s half of Manchester Lesbian Soc circa 1989 too….

  283. 283
    Ivor Dunpharting says:

    P is for P(ro)-lice

  284. 284
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Wot, no bombs?

  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    I saw one and it had ‘Mortar-way Surveying’ written on’t back and a terrier on the passenger seat.

  286. 286
    NewGirl says:

    And handsome

  287. 287
    Anonymous says:

    par for the course really

  288. 288
    Anonymous says:

    Pa(o)pal States?

  289. 289
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Are you sure it wasn’t Hazel Blair?

  290. 290
    Sarah says:

    It says they only spent half their budget – now I really fear them.

  291. 291
    Anonymous says:

    about 1342

  292. 292
    88p bathplug (10% off) says:

    only 88p

  293. 293
    chris says:

    Grandma says -you think mcbride looks good? – you MUST get a psychobabblist to help you come to terms with your affliction- someone who has studied near to Berkeley might be best.

  294. 294
    Colin Crapspray says:

    Awesome piece of work Guido. Don’t you go getting big-headed on us though. Having said this, even if you did fuck all for the rest of your life, a colossal ego would be rightfully yours…

    Reading the responses of some of the LabiaList Labour drones I now know that you were indeed dealing with the devil.

    Or one of his less sensitive mates.

  295. 295

    Redwood absolutely trashes Draper in that interview. What a pity Dolly won’t be around to have his arse kicked from pillar to post any more.

  296. 296

    I loathed these fucking student politico arse-wipes when at University, and reading that has reminded me why that was.

  297. 297
    no longer anonymous says:

    I remember some conspiracy theorist twat posting here aeons ago trying to imply that Guido is/was a spook.

    I hardly think MI5 would entrust state secrets to a man who loses his wallet when drunk…

  298. 298

    He says that it was just being juvenile (really)

    I am glad he has the time for such juvenile behaviour.

  299. 299
    Anonymous says:

    Hmm, I think this might be called getting your shot in first? It doesn’t take a massive stretch of the imagination to guess that your informer is not some dischuffed UNITE activist, nor did you happen across Derek Draper being careless in an internet cafe… My guess is you do have a security services source. Which I guess is fairly interesting, as a supposed libertarian.

  300. 300

    Of course there’s an Irish Intelligence organisation. Aonad Speisialta Bleachtaireachta, whih is similar to the British Special Branch, but with protection and emergency response as other responsibilities.

  301. 301
    Anonymous says:

    Hardly state secrets though, are they? A few emails, to ensure they get into the public eye? Guido’s not a spy, he’s just a stooge.

  302. 302
    Hilarious name, possibly something about Brown being Scottish says:

    Guido, did you ask the Telegraph for £20k? Pretty much a yes or no answer.

  303. 303
    McBrooooon says:

    Smear, spin spin spin. Get over it. You have lost.

  304. 304
    Gordon Brown says:

    Guido, any chance I could have spin in your Aston Martin, when you are not Bringing down Evil One World Communists of course.

  305. 305
    Our Ford says:

    “The Telegraph implies that Guido has sold the story to the Sunday newspapers – that is completely untrue” – GF

    Pretty much no then. Maybe time to give up on the smears eh? Now get back in the bunker.

  306. 306
    Alfred T Mahan says:

    Don’t give him your name, Pike!

  307. 307
    Breaking News says:

    Brown has issued a new video statement about his future this morning:

  308. 308
    the People's journalists says:

    You’re toast, Fawkes. We shall soon reveal the existence of your secret internet blog where a vast right-wing conspiracy exists to tell the truth about and take the piss out of nulab fuckwits. Mark my words.

  309. 309
    Minekiller says:

    Put an ‘O’ on the end of that and you have ASBO.

  310. 310
    Magarets real son says:

    I have a terrible feeling that GF will be found under a hedge not far fron his country home with deep lacerations to his wrist. Or is that Deja vu.

  311. 311

    My father always had a good line for when the Jehovah’s witnesses came knocking.
    When Asked if he believed in God he would reply to them.
    “I believe in a superior being but I have never met one”

  312. 312
    Anonymous says:

    It is not the Irish intelligence service Guido but your old employer David Hart the concern is about. Are you prepared to publicly answer questions about your relationship with David Hart? You have called for a knighthood for him but perhaps can you confirm his dalliance with the left hand path. As a good catholic we would also like to know your views on his demolition of the chapel at Chadacre in the context of the previous question.

  313. 313
    mataharri says:

    I thought The comment about a monks circle in one of the posts is more applicable to the Tory party,most of whom attended public schools and must have found such an activity a pleasurable pass time.

  314. 314
    Anonymous says:

    Like the baying Tory hounds apologised to Michael Foot when they subjected him to gutter ridicule when he was leader of the LP. What a selfrighteuos bunch of hypocrites.

    I’m sure there’s been a lot worst said in E.Mails about Labour between the Bullingdon mob. The shame of it is that the Shadow front bench have been saved from discussing policy while this farce rumbles on.

  315. 315
    teop says:

    David Cammeron is a silly twat
    he always gets upset a lot,
    Osbourne with those staring eyes
    always looking to the sky,
    Eternally hoping pigs might fly
    That labour is about to die
    His mind is always counting out our money
    promising us all, milk and honey
    But in the end we know what’s true
    we will all be robbed blind by the old true blue
    And we must remember days of yore
    How Maggie ripped out Britain’s core
    And kicked us all unto the floor.

  316. 316
    mataharri says:

    Can we now assume the the Tory spin machine will now be dismantled after the shock of what depths spin can scape. I doubt it.

  317. 317
    mataharri says:

    I used a different technique asking Jehovahs Witnesses never to call again but to no avail. Iasked them [the pair] how many letter Fs were there in God. One said there is no F in god, I replied I rest my case.

  318. 318
    mataharri says:

    David and George [Batman and Robin] the knowlegable duo have got it all wrong again after getting out their bean counter and scratching their heads they decided that to reduce VAT by 2.5% was tantamount to burning money.

    It seems that The Centre for Economic Studies and Busisess Research doesn’t agree, in fact they say the reduction has boosted High Street sales by £2.5bn since it was introducedand want to extend it for a further six months.

    What a fiscally illiterate pair. Gordon may be unattractive and dour but people will see their is a wise old head at no 10 especially if the economy receives a fair wind over the next 10 months.

  319. 319
    Alien8n says:

    I prefer hanged, hung conjures too many sexual connotations. Mind you, the thought of certain female cabinet minister’s and thai ladyboys


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