Thursday, April 30, 2009

Balls Hits Gordon

Gordon BallsGolf balls that is – what did you think Guido meant?  Down in Sidcup Golfers get the chance to unleash their frustration at the government by aiming golf balls at the faces of Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling. The World of Golf chain of driving ranges in Sidcup, Croydon, New Malden and Glasgow have put up the targets for the pleasure of golfers.

CEO Grant Wright thought it would be a fun and tongue in cheek idea: “We knew it would be a risk but it’s not to be taken seriously and we haven’t had any problems so far.”

Guido reckons he might be the only business booming in the economy right now.

Hat-tip : News Shopper via Cynosarges

8% of LibDem Voters are Mad

The PoliticsHome poll showing that 95% of Tories, 66% 0f LibDems and 50% of Labour voters think the Tories will win the next election is not much of a surprise.

That 8% of voters (who just happen to be LibDem supporters) surprisingly think the LibDems are going to win the general election suggests that they are either just extremely optimistic, mad or lying. Hmmm…

Sion Simon Does It Again

Sion Simon

He has now Tweeted:

Earlier I repeated a joke that was in poor taste, which I now regret. I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress or embarrassment caused.

That will win votes won’t it?  Insult the popular and much loved sensation of the moment.  His skills with video satire and political forecasting have been remarked on before.  He is best mates with Tom Watson, the Minister for Digital Engagement and Mudslinging.  It was Tom who encouraged Labour MPs to twitter.  When comes to twattishness, none can surpass Sion.

Berlusconi’s Euro-Babes

Guido’s favourite euro-politician and media magnate, Silvio Berlusconi, understands that politics is showbusiness for ugly people and he wants to change it into a more pure showbusiness.  You can perhaps understand why with that kind of insight he is a billionaire.

He is unveiling his latest leggy line-up of prospective candidates for his centre-right Party of Freedom in the upcoming Euro-elections:

Camilla Ferranti posed semi-naked for a variety of calendars and magazines and has also appeared in several Italian soap operas. It emerged last year, that Berlusconi had rung the head of the state television company RAI and “suggested” she be given a role in a top TV series.

Barbara Matera is perhaps the most qualified with a science degree but is better known for her appearance in Miss Italia and her TV career where she has appeared as an announcer and in several soaps. “I have always wanted a career in politics but I didn’t feel I was ready but Silvio says I am and I think I will work very well in Strasbourg.”

Angela Sozio has appeared on Grande Fratello, Italy’s Big Brother, and was famously snapped sitting on Berlusconi’s knee two years ago at his luxury villa in Sardinia. The group was dubbed “Berlusconi’s Harem” by the Italian media and in other photographs Angela was seen holding hands with the premier.

Eleonora Gaggioli (above)  has a glittering past as a TV star and a Google search finds plenty of pictures of her posing in her underwear. Like Camilla, Eleonora was also named in the “Silvio tapes” last summer.

Silvio really has it good.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

McBride Changes His Number

Damian McPoisonAnother sighting of Damian McBride, apparently he has been circulating his new mobile number to his Lobby drinking buddies. Guess that means Guido won’t be able to send him any more text messages.

Maybe he can get a job on the Telegraph, after all he has plenty of experience writing copy for them.  He could always write a book.  If he got one out in time for Labour Party conference he could trouser a quick six-figure advance for a smear and tell book.  Obviously it won’t be worth so much after the general election…

+++ Government Loses Gurkha Vote +++

What will put fear into the Labour Party is that it was defeated by a LibDem – Conservative alliance. Cameron and Clegg seemed very at ease with each other in front of the press. Dave even paid tribute to Clegg’s leadership on the issue. Liberal love bombing which has strategic political implications…

Lib Con Alliance

Blogging Tory MP Signs Downing Street “Just Go” Petition

ResignAny minute now the “Just Go” petition on the Downing Street website will be the number one issue on Gordon’s home page, helped on the way by the support of Douglas Carswell MP*, the blogging MP who added his name to the list this lunchtime. When the digital engagement team in Downing Street came up with this wheeze they didn’t really think it through did they?  The coverage has been widespread and uniformly bad for Gordon:

20,000 sign petition calling for resignation of Gordon Brown - Telegraph

Gordon Brown silences YouTube critics by disabling viewer comments - Times
Gordon Brown’s YouTube message on MPs’ expenses has been watched only 4000 times. By contrast, the video of him picking his nose has been watched 630000

Gordon Brown is running on empty - Telegraph

Snubbed Abroad, Humiliated At Home Sky News

Yakkety yak, don’t talk back - Times

Has the government’s e-petitioning system backfired? - VNUNet.com
The government’s e-petitioning system may have backfired. Over 15000 people have signed a petition posted on the Downing Street web site last week calling

Resignation appeal - Scotsman
Gordon Brown was yesterday facing calls for his resignation – from a public petition posted on his own official website. The petition, which has already

EMBARRASSED BROWN URGED TO QUIT NOW - Daily Star
UNDER-fire PM Gordon Brown was left red-faced yesterday after a double whammy of attacks on his competence. Firstly, a petition on his own

QUIT DOWNING STREET’ PETITION IS A BIG HITExpress

More than 20000 sign petition on Downing Street website demanding resignation - Daily Mail
A petition on 10 Downing Street’s own website calling for Gordon Brown to resign as Prime Minister has reached the 20,000-signature

Wonder if Tom Watson, the Minister for Mudslinging and Digital Engagement, has had to duck a Nokia today?

*Charles Clarke MP probably is not a genuine signatory. Or is he?

I’m the Prime Minister, Get Me Out of Here

The chamber fell about laughing after Gordon made a twat of himself forgetting he had a statement to make:

UPDATE : In reply to the statement Dave said: “Can I thank the Prime Minister for making his statement…it was a close run thing”.

Clegg Hit His Mark

Nick Clegg doesn’t always shine at PMQs.  He sometimes misjudges the chamber and suffers for it.  He got the tone right for once.  Dale usually scores PMQs, think Clegg deserves a winning score.

UPDATE : Dale did score Clegg the winner.

PMQs Live Chat : Mad Hatter’s Tea Party


Seen Elsewhere

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Russell Brand’s New Book “Sub-Undergraduate Dross” | Telegraph
Tory MP Barrister Represents Monaco Billionaire | Scrapbook
MOBO Singers Slam UKIP | ITV
Could UKIP Keep Britain in the EU? | Iain Martin
Why Piketty is Wrong | ConHome
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Milburn Levelling Down | Kathy Gyngell
Crosby and Carswell Make Friends at Guido’s Dinner | Mail
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail


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Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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