March 30th, 2009

MPs Fear Expenses Whistle Blowers

Note that the anger MPs are feeling about the expenses revelations is directed not at those MPs who are abusing the system and bringing them all into disrepute, but at those who are exposing them. Labour MPs are convinced there is a “Tory mole”* in the fees office, others think that digitised versions of their soon to be released receipts are being shopped around the papers.

MPs are after blood – the blood of the whistle blowers rather than the blood of those robbing the public.

That is how morally compromised they are, no longer able to see that what they are doing is wrong.  They just want to stop the sunlight shining on their dodgy practises.

*Having been involved in a few of these expense fiddle stories coming to light, MPs should realise that the sources are often constituents, outraged staff, disgusted civil servants, sometimes rival politicians from the same party and often the result of plain old digging. Politicians are now widely despised as a class, don’t be surprised that your dirty secrets are becoming public knowledge.


  1. 1
    singleactsoftyranny says:

    When you shine light on cockroaches, they scatter

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Face the unpalatable choice: Pay them more or expect more corruption.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Why are MPs angry at possible whisteblowers? Isn’t the concept of privacy now just a quaint outdated concept? Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and all that? At least that’s how they view our privacy. Very puzzling. Wish they would make their minds up.

  4. 4
    John Lyon CB - Do Not Disturb says:

    I claim the prize for highest salary with zero work done or results achieved, but then my mates arrange my salary and I make sure they are all right, nudge, nudge.

  5. 5
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    From the DT today.

    ‘..Labour left-winger Harry Cohen said that MPs had been told “Go out boys and spend it” when the present system was introduced under Margaret Thatcher in the 1980s……

    ……The Mail on Sunday calculated that since 1990 he had received a total of £310,714 in allowances.

    Mr Cohen said the arrangement had been cleared with the House of Commons authorities.

    He said that the former Conservative minister John Moore had told MPs “Go out boys and spend it” when he introduced a big uprating of the allowance in the 1980s to head off a pay revolt by backbench Tories…’

    As he does what he is told: ‘Away and boil your head’.

  6. 6
    Nulabor - NuPorn says:

    Christ, you must be an MP or someone who has never bothered to check out their pay!

  7. 7
    Frank Fartwell says:

    This does not surprise me in the slightest. These rascals, rather than being shamed into correcting themselves, seek to vent spleen on those whistleblowers.

    When you’ve got shit in your eyes, you can’t see the shit in your eyes.

  8. 8
    Clapham Commoner says:


    Let MPs face the unpalatable choice – stop stealing, and make do on three times the average wage, or fuck off!

    They should be benchmarked against the local Citizens Advice Bureau manager’s wage – an honourable profession and akin to what backbenchers do.

    Smith is an over-promoted cookery teacher, FFS!!!

  9. 9
    Doug says:

    The BBC spreading more crap about a Tory mole. Whatever happened to their rules about substantiation? Besides it makes no sense for there to be a Tory mole because the expense claims will undoubtedly highlight many cases of dodgy expenses from Tory MPs – the definition of shooting yourself in the foot.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Smith, yet again for Labour, trotted out the apology, as if simply saying sorry makes the wrongdoing all right.
    These people seem to be so lacking in morals that they are only sorry they got caught!

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    OK, double the salary, cut out expenses, & halve their numbers!

  12. 12
    DR says:

    But if you’re quick you can crunch a few underfoot …

  13. 13
    Doug says:

    So much of their expenditure is claimed back through expenses it begs the question – what do they spend their wages on or do they just pocket it?

    Surely Jacqui Smith can afford an 88p plug from her salary rather than claim it on expenses.

  14. 14
    IRB says:

    Out of interest has any of these hoons tried to say that this is a personal matter?

  15. 15
    DR says:

    Agreed about the last point … but halving by firing squad!

  16. 16
    backwoodsman says:

    Debbie Does Dalas, McNumpty, all we need to find out now, is that the Becket’s are part of the ‘Caravan Swingers Club’ (yes, it really exists !)

  17. 17
    Eric Pickles says:

    37 miles!

  18. 18
    vlad the pimp says:

    Exactly as I predicted. This whole story must now be turned into a ‘Tory mole’ exercise. Because if they can pin the blame for the leak on some Tory MP or researcher then they’ll have the BBC going on 24/7 about Tories compromising national security blah blah. Where will the TORIES draw the line in leaking this confidential information blah blah… not to be trusted blah blah….

    The same technique they’ve used to encourage the imbeciles of Edinburgh to take direct action against Fred Goodwin’s home and property. Look, the economy is completely fucked, we were in charge, everybody is going to be looking at us – QUICK, blame somebody else…. Oh, I don’t know – the Yanks, the Brits don’t have to be encouraged too much to blame the yanks or the banks, yeah – everybody hates the banks, lending you insane amounts of money and then expecting you to pay it back – yeah, like it – blame the banks….

    That Goodwin chap. Rich, filthy rich in fact, never much liked him even though I made him a Knight for his services to banking…. go after him. Use the BBC. Use Peston.

    The evil Labour bastards.

  19. 19
    The Milky Bar Kid says:

    Vicars, military personnel and diplomatic staff have accommodation provided for them. When they leave the job they have to relinquish the property.

    MPs are able to have a “nice little earner” claiming for houses which they keep and which are paid for by taxpayers.

    Why should MPs be treated differently from those mentioned above? Oh, sorry, I forgot, the MPs make the rules for themselves.

  20. 20
    Voter says:

    If we had a smart opposition they would all be told to tighten their belts for a year and in a year’s time but the boot in and draw direct comparisons.
    The fact is they are all at it.

    I mean Spliff claiming 88p for a frigging bathplug? The woman makes £140,000. It would take me 7 years to make that.


    She is obviously troughing for her life because of her paperthin majority which will be annhilated. And she knows it. Disgusting person.

  21. 21
    Perry Neeham says:

    I’ve just followed the link in your ‘Seen Elsewhere’ section to the Telegraph’s article on Ann and Alan Keen. Yet again I am gobsmaked by these bastards. Have they no bloody shame? Altogether this pair of Hunts cost us £428,000 a year!

    The article points out that they need a flat “within walking distance of Westminster” so that Alan ‘Shameless’ Keen can speak in five (yes, FIVE) debates a year.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    This will simply NEVER be resolved until an outside agency has a clear and open mandate and is in total charge of the entire expenses scam.

    I for one will volunteer my services for this.

  23. 23
    chronic says:

    If your lifes expenses are paid for wot do you need wages for.

  24. 24
    Plato says:

    Isn’t it odd that the moles like motorists are other people.

    I never quite understand how constituents somehow stop being people and become moles when the story doesn’t suit them.

    Lobby Dog is reporting that more expenses will be published on Thurs just before the House goes on holiday again.

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Let em starve.

  26. 26
    Fistful Stimulus says:

    Any mention of W@nkgate over on Derek Draper’s LabourWrist?

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Another Liebour walking disaster who can’t get it right. Backstairs Jackboots calls in the police to track the source of her embarrassment! I think we want the police to prosecute the Two-Home Secretary for embezzlement? Oops forgot, entitlement rules.

  28. 28
    Pete-s says:

    Given the choice, I would rather vote for a cockroach.

  29. 29
    chronic says:

    or by suffication Pickles sitting on your face.

  30. 30
    Alan Bread says:

    This has been known for ages and highlighted for years, but Ann Keen is a whore with no shame. The bitch was my MP, claiming everything going and doing a woeful job for her constituants and Alan Keen is a total utter fucktard.

    She and her husband are utter fucking nulab vermin; the worst type of looters.

  31. 31
    reg511 says:

    Dolly Diaper dribbling shit on Women’s Hour!

  32. 32
    Lemon cake says:


  33. 33
    peeved says:

    weren’t mps promoting whistleblowing to expose benefit cheats?
    petard, hoist. kettle, black. holes, arse.

  34. 34
    chronic says:

    Politcs What a great system.

  35. 35
    Desperate Dan says:

    I heard him. He’s even argumentative and obnoxious on Women’s Hour when he’s supposed to be having a calm rational discussion.

  36. 36

    MPs are right to fear. They thought their lying, troughing and corruption could continue forever and that the public – and the economy – would just accept it – they are wrong. Vengeance will be swift and merciless.

  37. 37
    Faux Cul says:

    Faux Cul

    No, whilst that has a logical appeal, pay them more so they don’t have to steal it is frankly bollox.

    If Mr BIG won €100,000,000 on the Eurolottery tomorrow would they stop trafficing in drugs, enslaved women?

    No , and why would the do so, because that is their chosen lifestyle.

    ZanuLab and many others are career politicians.

    They are career politicians, they are professional criminals.

    They are corrupt bastards and will still steal. It is in their DNA.

  38. 38
    the court of public opinion says:

    they are guilty of stealing our is fraud. the police should be investigating them.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    … prefer tumbrils and guillotine

  40. 40
    Dalesman says:

    An independent body needs to regulate MP’s wages and expenses, and I want to be on it!

    It’s time the whole lot were sorted out.

  41. 41
    Gordon says:

    No need for the firing squad – I’m looking forward to so many of them being unemployed (let’s see them back up the “many of us could earn much more in the private sector” rubbish). I’m expecting many more of the Dunwoody interviews – “noone will employ me, I’m poor, they all think I’m going to stir up their workforce etc etc”

  42. 42
    John Moore says:

    Hey, Harry, Harry Cohen. Go and fuck yourself.

  43. 43
    The big D says:

    When the money runs out there will be none left to pay them more and none to fund corruption. Where will they go then?

  44. 44
    pp says:

    Smith is toast, even nick robinson has given up on her!

  45. 45
    Wossat? says:

    It’s interesting to see they are pointing their sticky little fingers at the possibility of a TORY mole. It seems that the Brownites are united in the fleecing of the public coffers so there’s no real possibility of a NuLab mole.

    Theiving scumbags!

  46. 46
    Wossat? says:

    I meant thieving scumbags of course.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    “evil Labour bastards”

    yep all part of a marxist entryism conspiracy plotted by the nosepicking skint scum in his radical student union days. The next government will have to repeal thousands of marxist tainted statutes before it can even get started on resolving the crisis.
    It’s a proper student union’s 60s pigsty.

  48. 48
    Jaclyn says:

    I grow tired of reading these comments and feeling outraged, yet powerless to act. If Miss Smith ‘misses’ such ridiculous claims when signing her forms, makes you wonder what else she missed when ‘supposedly’ doing her job. The discredited, overrated Prime Minister ought to call an election… it should not be the choice of politicians, we the people, should be able to demand one… after all, at least we get to change the faces on the dart board for a bit :)

  49. 49
    W.W. says:


    and the BBC ended it’s report last night with great emphasis, not of Jackoff Spliff,

    but of ‘talk of a tory mole!!!’

    My Misses (who has little or no interest in politics) asked during report somewhat bemused,

    “at what point do they resign?”



  50. 50
    Pornemporium says:

    We need to go back to basics and use real world incentives to work out their pay.

    Firstly, there are no shortage of candidates for the job. For that reason alone, the pay should be the current average within that constituency. The result will be people not doing the job for financial gain, but because they want to do the job.

    Expenses should be the same as the private sector accounting definition of expenses. It will help the MP’s understand what real people understand as being a legitimate expense.

    MP’s already spend most of their time making connections to ensure their nest egg after their life in the house – that isn’t going to change. It just seems perverse to fund them a king’s ransom while they do it.

    As for Wankgate – This should be the straw that breaks the ugly camels back.

  51. 51
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    Some kind of Jonestown incident at the NuLab conference would be nice. They’re all fine when Gordon the Gulper starts his speech. When the lights go back up they’re all purple and twitching gently in their personal pools of almond scented diced carrots. It’s right to drink the Kool-Aid.

  52. 52
    Dick Cheese says:

    The House of Deluded Moonbarkers has become thorougly infected by the filthy Dolly bacillus.
    The dread malady is too far advanced to be cured by better hygiene and abstemiousness. The constant drip from the public teat that feeds the parasites must be staunched; the foul carriers of the disease destroyed; their bloated, infectious carcasses burnt and interred deep beneath the ground in lead casks.
    The ground that they walk should be thoroughly disinfected and the air that they breathe purged. The vile poison that drenches its hosts in ineradicable cynicism must never be allowed to seep back into the raddled husk of the body politic.
    Oh! And what’s Cameo’s take on all this? Bit mute, isn’t he, on this small but significant matter of principle.
    The Man With The Moral Compass, on the other hand, has just proclaimed that Jaqui’s looted 88p butt blug is a private matter. Just like his own.

  53. 53
    Plato says:

    Oh dear – Jacqui has just received the full support of the Prime Mentalist.


  54. 54
    Brown is an escaped mental patient says: “Prime Minister Gordon Brown said it was a “personal matter” for Ms Smith.”

    Fuck off you fucking wanker

    I get up at 5.30 am and get home at 9.00pm 6 days a week to pay tax so your government can fund ministers spouses to spend the day wanking in front of the TV

  55. 55
    Plato says:

    On BBC ticker – Gordon Brown says Jacqui Smith doing a ´great job´ and should be left to get on with it.

    Hand job clearly.

  56. 56
    Voter says:

    In the words of Alistair Darling, voters are “pissed off”.
    Vote of No Confidence anyone?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Bless you for that thought.

    Anybody got meds to erase short-term memory?

  58. 58
    The big D says:

    Someone needs to do a spoof of the “Benefits cheats, we are closing in on you ….” advert. “You may end up with a criminal record of even a prison sentence,”

    Seriously, the whole system of pay and expenses needs to be cleaned. The window of opportunity for doing this in a calm and rational way is diminishing by the day. A report due in the next parliament is not relevant or timely. MPs may have to go “cold turkey” on their expenses. The barrel of good will to MPs has been scraped, dug through the bottom, then through the floor, 3 basement levels and is currently starting to dig into bedrock.

  59. 59
    iain, ni says:

    At least Obama will have an idea which DVDs to bring this week..

  60. 60
    David Burns says:

    If someone on a salery of £40,000 submits an illeagal expenses claim then they should be sacked

  61. 61
    Sarah says:

    “wanking in front of the TV”
    AND trousering 40K a year.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Purely a tactical note,but best thing is to go wellshod into the building but leave the lights turned off.
    Position yourself in the middle of the corridor and THEN turn the lights on.
    Crunching time can then begin in ernest.
    Thing is, I feel sorry for cockroaches, unlike politicians

    afetr all, cockroaches are only doing what they know

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    The combined opposition parties should agree on someone tabling a motion to reduce Jackboots salary and ‘call me Dave’ should table a motion of no confidence in the Government. Has anybody got the bollox?

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    And we thought Ms Jacqui was the wanker…..

  65. 65
    vlad the pimp says:

    Has anybody gone through the expenses report to see if she claimed for a box of Kleenex too. Wouldn’t surprise me. She apparently claimed 88p for a fucking plug.

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    should be the straw that breaks the ugly camels back….

    but won’t. They’re in bunker mode, no longer listen and will hang on until dragged out. Forget elections drop by the HoC for a chat with your MP and take a pair of handcuffs. Citizens arrest.

  67. 67
    W.W. says:

    She is now the Fred Goodwin of politics.


  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    …to jail, where we will STILL have to pay to keep them!

  69. 69
    Cassandra King says:

    No no no, the BBC must finger the Tories, after all they are evil class enemies bent on destroying the peoples revolution arent they?
    Its the world famous BBC balance in action isnt it? The Tories are to blame for setting the whole expenses fiddle up in the first place cos the BBC told us, the brave and fearless newlabour commissars are just innocent victims in all of this, Jaqui Smith needs stress counciling and compensation for this cruel outrage against her, no no far better to blame the evil Tories after all Thatcher did all those horrid things to the poor socialist masses didnt she and anyway lessons have been learned, its time to move on now isnt it?

  70. 70
    Get with the program says:

    One rule (world) for them another for us.

    I keep imagining the little whiney voices saying “but I’m special I need to be spoilt with money, I’m busy and have to work you know”.
    Don’t we all you greedy Hunts.

    The simple facts are that if I as a Director of a company, was to claim half the shit they do and the company pays it, would get hammered with tax.
    This would be due to the claims being benefits in kind and what not.

    I don’t mind them having a second home but as long as it is given back or passed on when they are out of office. Why should they keep them at all?

    Eric Pickles made a huge cock of himself on QT and pretty much summed up MP’s. No fucking idea of reality.

  71. 71
    anonybot says:

    Exactly and I mean on that salary you can’t even afford a bath plug for 88p let’s face it let alone pay for your cable and internet.

    I can see the scene at the B & Q check out as the cashier rings up the bill – Er can I have a VAT receipt please I need to claim it back from the “mugs” who pay my wife & mine’s salary. Hurry it up – I’m a bit pushed for time and the pressure is mounting !!!!

  72. 72
    anonymous says:

    Perhaps “Fun with Dick & Jane(er Jacqui) should be on the list ?

  73. 73
    John Lyon CB - Do Not Disturb says:

    Oi! that’s part of my job, but like some doctors I believe in minimally invasive procedures – let the hoons do as they please.

  74. 74
    IUnknown says:

    How about paying them £20k and that’s it. Then we wouldn’t get “career” politicians who are more interested in how much they can screw out of the public.

    It should encourage those that aren’t interested in financial renumeration but are more likely to have some sort of moral backbone and experience.

  75. 75

    Why not just let them put their (all in expenses + pay) price next to the box when you vote for them?

  76. 76
    Ben Bow says:

    Why are MP’s not Means Tested to see if they qualify for benefits? Taking into account their total income will surely persuade those foul rats who plead poverty and whose ‘ nice little earners ‘ have always been thrust into the darkest recesses, to emerge blinking and stumbling into the sunlight as they rush hither and thither looking for the gangplank without being captured by blood-thirsty constituents already preparing the whipping stocks and the gallows.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Better late than never this term was posted yesterday and called ‘wankergate’

    Can’t see it on the Beeb though

  78. 78
    Budgie says:

    Clapham Commoner said: “Let MPs face the unpalatable choice – stop stealing, and make do on three times the average wage …”


  79. 79
    Anonymous says:


  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Comment below on toerags blog is a great solution, they could all be confined to barracks on first offence and taken to the Tower on the next. (Excuse the lad’s spelling)

    18. At 09:17am on 30 Mar 2009, floodrob wrote:
    Would it not be to MP’s advatage to have accomadation (for instance an accomadation block in a military barracks)set aside specifically for MP’s while they are in London away from thier consituancys, it would have the required security, dining facilities provided by the militay chefs and could have all they need while they are away from thier homes?? This would allow all MP’s to have the required comfort to carry out thier jobs with out the need to claim for expenses, and they would all have equal facilities.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Is it me!!!

    Listening to the today programme the journalistos were talking without irony about the “embarrasment” Smith would be enduring this morning in the office.

    This is symptomatic of the insular world of the proffessional politos. Not interested in Smiths embarrasment- want to know how many people in the real world are angry about what they are hearing.

    This story says so much about we the people have let our servants the political class take the piss for so long

    Come on Guido- whens the revolution!!!!!! And who will be first to be strung up!!!!

  82. 82
    Budgie says:

    Liebore gets caught out being stupid, venal, corrupt, incompetentent, and what do they do – all together now: “we were told to do it by Thatcher”.

  83. 83
    no longer anonymous says:

    Agreed re voting for cockroaches. At least they wouldn’t know how to start printing money.

  84. 84
    no longer anonymous says:

    I always hated the Milky Bar Kid.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    No he hasen’t as much as I wish you were correct
    Did you read this? It’s full of butter up sympathy the likes we have come to expect from this government mouthpiece. Husband scarificed career for wife, 2 chidren at school etc etc etc violins in the back ground just wants to make you puke.

    Now as a comparison change it around and say the headline was

    “Tory homeSec claimed porn as expenses’

    Read the blog again but keep the above headline in mind.
    Do you see now?

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    perhaps we can have politicos and beeboids swinging from alternate lampposts?

  87. 87
    Budgie says:

    The BBC is trying its hardest to damage the Tories because they know that when the Tories get elected in 2010 (assuming McGabe hasn’t canceled the GE) the BBC in its present incarnation is finished. And good riddance. Remember: don’t buy a TV licence.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah just to ensure Joe Public attach Tory to the story. Classic spin and yes they will fall for it again as for a lot of people BBC is there only news source.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    someone just asked if they had yet referred this as a personal matter

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Dirty Rotten scoundrels

  91. 91

    I like the idea that all NuLab snouts are so firmly embedded in the trough that any exposure MUST be the work of a Tory.

    The trouble is that those who followed his Toniness up the greasy pole really believe that, since they are on the side of righteousness, their doings are above reproach.

    Living on the moral high ground destroys your sense of perspective.

  92. 92
    Shoonhorpe says:

    It’s the CIA who’s been leaking the Labour MP expense claim stuff. It’s obvious.

    Obama fucking hated Brown on site and has decided to ruin him politically.

  93. 93
    Change hands at 50 says:

    Did the taxpayer pay for the Kleenex too?

  94. 94
    Air Nokia One says:

    Toenails states

    “She is confident that she has the proof that she’s spent more nights in London than in her constituency and thus, under the Commons rules, could designate her family home as her “second home” and the flat she shares with her sister as her “main home”.

    Hold on one small minute there is something seriously wrong here. What do you mean confident? She should know outright without any doubt whatsoever and instantly be able to verify that is the case. After all she has claimed the money and spent it allready and as an aside this is only what I and millions of others have to do (under the Treasury rules) when claiming any expense.

    I have just had to buy a camera to continue my work. I can’t claim for it. I should have perhaps bought a box of 100 bath plugs instead.

    She should resign and now not be allowed to escape until after McDooms own wankfest at the G19.5

  95. 95
    vlad the pimp says:

    Now that men are to be prosecuted if their whore-for-the-evening turns out to have been trafficked for sex purposes can the police please investigate and make sure Mr Smith’s choice of evening entertainment did not use any such unfortunate women. I expect a full investigation. All ‘actors’ to be interviewed. Surely we cannot condone men watching such filth when men and women may have been forced to make such films against their will.

    I’m sure Harriet Harman would agree. Particularly if it was a Tory MP’s husband in such an embarrassing position.

  96. 96
    mitch says:

    This was considered by the commons and rejected because it would cost ‘billions’ to do it properly i.e. life of luxury for 640+ porkies in central London. Could be done for less of course, but they would knacker it deliberatley.

  97. 97
    Taxpayers Kleenex says:

    Err gather from one of the cast that interviews might be tricky “Baaa Baaa”

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Why should they when the BBC will find some NuLab-bot to say it for them?

  99. 99
    Muppet says:

    My lunch is now receiving its second viewing…

  100. 100
    Hettie Hardbint's 'Court of public opinion' says:

    Alllllllll risssssseeeeeeeeeeeee……….

    Oooohhhhh, Mr Timney!…. I see you already have.

  101. 101
    Muppet says:

    A classier christening.

  102. 102
    Bertie Ahern says:

    They are all at it see this story of some NHS crone on £210,000 a year who cant be bordered to get off her arse to drive home at end of a busy day. Covering up all the poor sods killed by the NHS must take it out of you. So she stays at the best hotel in town guess who pays?
    She also spend £300,000 doing up her office.
    Will there be enough piano wire to go round?

  103. 103
    Minekiller says:

    Jacqui Smith is a thief, right down to (literally) the kitchen sink. Walked past reporters, ignored them – a coward as well as a thief. I can’t wait to see how this filth gets their post GE kicking. The work against them only starts then…don’t hire them, bash the Tories if they give them posts in Brussels, at the UN etc. Boycott the products of any company crazy enough to hire them etc etc.

    What hopeless sheeple the Brits are, you voted for crime, you got crime.

  104. 104
    ex-pat mick says:


  105. 105
    Muppet says:

    That utter turd of a husband is paid (I won’t say ‘earns’) more than my partner and I combined each year.
    And the w@nker still wants us to pay for his glopping?

    Bugger that!!

  106. 106
    Muppet says:

    I’m just imagining it, with them all swinging in time to La Marseillaise…

    Would make one proud to be British again.

  107. 107
    Woman on a Raft says:

    Quite sure it was a bath plug?

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    for some of them, it’s better than working…

  109. 109
  110. 110
    Rexel 56 says:

    Oh, and wasn’t is strange that suddenly the timely investment decisions of the Bank of England pension scheme got into the news last week?

    Look, Merv, have a go at Gordon in public and McBride will bring shit down on your house.

  111. 111
    ex-pat mick says:

    yes it is a fxxxed system,but let us not forget we put them their.

  112. 112
    Polly Turbot says:

    Sure pay them more, but we only need 300 of them max. Hang the rest.

  113. 113
    Woman on a Raft says:

    Yes, especially Tony McNulty, who was the cretin in charge of reducing benefit fraud. Only not round his house, because it’s only fraud when proles do it.

  114. 114
    Funambulist says:

    Someone needs to do a spoof of the “Benefits cheats, we are closing in on you ….” advert. “You may end up with a criminal record of even a prison sentence,”

    Brilliant idea!

    Anyone with Photoshop skills please take note!

  115. 115
    Lola says:

    MPs – bent as fucking staples the lot of them.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC are devoting quite a bit of time to W@nkgate.

    I think JacquiBoots is heading for the exit and alBeebja are trying to short-circuit a mountain of public anger with her departure. When she goes they hope we will all feel better about ‘The Great Fistjob of Doom’ in No.10.

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    They will PRINT more money, thereby stealing from us by devaluating the currency for everyone.

  118. 118
    ex-pat mick says:

    It is about time and the time is now, the people should deside how much these
    clones earn, a peoples commitee should be formed without any political mixing form
    and the people should belong to no political party.

    Failing that we should form A NEW MODEL ARMY2 but without someone called cromwell.

  119. 119
    Pornemporium says:

    Seeing as the public ended up paying for these pornos – shouldn’t the titles be known?
    We need to know if they got value for money – Was it CumShots2 or just the appalling Sluts Trek?

    Embarrassing? It hasn’t started yet!

  120. 120
    Harman's got no pride left says:

    Where are the Dolly boy’s staunchly defending against this story which just came spurting out? I know it’ll be very hard for them to grasp but I think they should get to grips with this..perhaps pole the electorate?

    Has Galloway no pride left either got a grip on this yet?

    Just goes to prove that pride cometh……before a fall!

  121. 121
    Quotes of the Week says:

    Brown: “Jacqui’s been doing a great job”

    Jacqui: “Richard’s been doing a great hand-job”!

  122. 122
    Jacqui Quotes says:

    Jacqui Smith past sayings..

    On kerb-crawlers: “Once around the block is once too many!”
    On Richard Timney: “Once off the wrist is once too many!”

  123. 123

    Remember, Mellor, Aitken, Jeffrey Archer, Neil Hamilton, Tim Yeo, Piers Merchant, Cash for Questions, brown envelopes?

    The British public haven’t forgotten and that’s why they’ll vote for Labour again next May.

    It is easy to forget what Britain was like in 1997 – the NHS on its knees, schools crumbling, crime doubled and millions of families still scarred by unemployment over three million and interest rates still recovering from hitting 15 per cent on Black Wednesday.

    And while we know that everything is not perfect now, Britain is, without doubt, a better, more prosperous and fairer place.

    Your obsessive muck-raking and scandal-mongering isn’t what hard-working families are interested in.

    Labour’s commitment giving real help now and real hope for the future stands in stark contrast to the Tories who would do nothing.

    By opposing Labour’s fiscal stimulus, the Conservatives have set themselves against providing real help now for families and businesses. They are committed not just to spending less in a time of need but also to spend less in the future. By doing nothing, they would deepen the downturn and delay the recovery, just as they did in the recessions of the 1980s and 1990s. They would make Britain weaker not stronger for the future.

    That’s why the “Pride” is in my name – because Labour have a lot to be proud of from all that we’ve accomplished.

    The British public will rightly ignore these peccadilloes and concentrate on the main issues.

  124. 124
    Gordon Brown says:

    What’s to stop them taking the extra pay and STILL being corrupt?? Dishonest people can always come up with other ways to steal.
    The problem is their dishonesty, not how much they’re paid.

  125. 125

    Great fun, but surely the underlying reality is that the stupid bitch should not be claiming anything on the Additional Cost Allowance as it is for a second home, and she and the Wanker only have the ONE home. Her sister’s fucking spare room hardly counts as a family home in any world with just one moon.

    The Penguin

  126. 126
    chronic says:

    Politics what a ironic system.

  127. 127
    The big D says:

    “…….The gap between the elected and those who elect them has rarely been wider. It is in all our interests that that gap is closed.”

    The last paragraph of Nick Robinson’s article on Jacqui Smith shows that the age of “enlightened self interest” has not completely left Labour supporters yet. If Nick has started a journey of conversion, his nickname should be changed to ankles perhaps.

    When he starts writing neutral of even complementary pieces about David Cameron, the conversion will be complete. Not holding my breath for that though.

  128. 128
    Taxfodder says:

    Funny how MP’s want us to meet targets and live up to standards they like to set for all but themselves.

    I still don’t see any leader from any of the main three parties confirming their intention to stamp out misuse of expenses and allowances.

    Lots of Huffing and Puffing but as normal no action!

    Draw your own conclusions and act accordingly next election by staying home!

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    P’raps it was one of these?

    Forrest Hump
    Pulp Friction
    Romancing the Bone
    Snow White and the Seven Sailors
    Saving Ryan’s Privates
    Buffy the Vampire Layer
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildoes
    Monty’s Python and the Holey Girl
    E-Three: The Extra Testicle

  130. 130
    Fletcher's ghost says:

    I would give them a choice:

    a) maintain your main home in your constituency and have access to a 2 bed flat in Crown owned block in central London
    (generously allowing a spare room for kids). Broadband and basic furniture all provided at source.


    b) maintain a main home in London and have access to a 2 bed council flat in your constituency – all local authorities could be required to maintain a flat for their elected representative(s) – they have so many empty ones this wouldn’t be a big ask.

    There could be a flat rate allowance for stationery and a maximum for employing staff whose details and pay would be scrutinised and sanctioned ( or not) by one central office. The latter shouldn’t add to bureaucracy because nowadays you need clearance/CRB etc etc for almost any job.

  131. 131
    vlad the pimp says:

    The fightback will begin shortly. It will start with an all out assault on Tory MPs parliamentary offices by the police looking for ‘evidence’ of a ‘Tory mole’. They’ll not necessarily find anything but for sure there will be a few wank-mags or something embarrassing that they can use to spread the blushes in carefully leaked ‘revelations’.

    Then the BBC will be used to speculate about the existence of such a ‘Tory mole’ and how, if such a thing existed, you know, while it may be embarassing for the government, what is far more serious is that such a person would possibly compromise national security. After all if they were prepared to leak such embarrassing information they’re probably prepared to leak our nuclear secrets to the Chinese. Because that’s what the Tories are like. It’s all Margaret Thatcher’s fault anyway….

    Meanwhile the underlying story. Jackie Smiths housing expenses and porn films will be knocked off the front page until such time as news of further government idiocy needs fire-fighting and ‘managing’.

  132. 132
    chronic says:

    Flesh Gorden.

  133. 133
    little kitten says:

    Maybe Jacqui’s bathplug was in fact abutt plug!

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    The fox condemns the trap,
    not himself.

    William Blake.
    The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1793).

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    The fox condemns the trap,
    not himself.

    William Blake.
    The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1793)..

  136. 136
    Ben Dover says:

    I think he said she does a great blow job

  137. 137
    The big D says:

    This will make a change to the Andrew Marr way of dealing with problems; ignore the problem and it will go away. No Tories allowed anywhere his program yesterday or next Sunday. No chance of anyone saying something to embarrass The G.Brown G.20 G.lobal G.athering.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Just noticed how Donal Blaney’s company Griffin Advisers Ltd boasts the following on its website:

    Campaign and media management for the successful election of Greg Hands as Member of Parliament for Hammersmith & Fulham in 2005 and the successful local council campaign for the Conservative Party in Hammersmith & Fulham in 2006.

    Griffin Advisors changed its name from YBF Conferences in 2006

    Could someone try and find the the matching register of members interest entry for Greg Hands or the donation in the Electoral Commission register or the expenditure reported on the election returns – as i haven’t been able to find anything at present.

    Griffin Advisors had accumulated losses of £111,330 in its last annual accounts – whoch I’m sure are no reflection on Terence William Donal Blaney’s business skills.

  139. 139
    Dick Cheese says:

    Seems that Herr Jackboot might be a bit of a butt hole surfer.
    Preferable to a kebab hole I suppose, up to a point.

  140. 140

    It’s just been announced that Spliffy claimed £22,948 expenses for her Redditch (2nd) home 2007/08 which is almost right at the top. And Brown has the nerve to say “it’s a personal matter and she is a good Home Secretary.” Pass the sick-bag.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    The point about the 88p plug is that it costs 49p normally, but MP’s can not claim expenses under 50p apparently – so they have to shop around for a 50p plus plug in order to claim.

  142. 142

    Spot on Guido.

    I ended up shouting at the TV last night about this.

    Also, I have had a thought about Harriet Harman’s position on this when compared to what she said about Shred’s pension. I have posted about it here.

  143. 143
    Frank says:

    Bollocks, they either accept their pay and minimal expenses or they fuck off and find another job

    Who in their right mind for example would hire Mrs Smith for 25 percent of her current MP salary?

    I’ll bet if their bluff was called we wouldn’t see many by elections.

  144. 144
    Frank says:

    20k seems a bit much, isn’t it?

  145. 145
    Vicola says:

    This is what baffles me, they don’t see that there’s a problem with MPs claiming expenses that really under any moral code shouldn’t be claimed, no, that’s all ok in their world, but being someone who tells the world that these venal bastards are doing that is utterly wrong. Does this not tell us something about the morals of the bunch of fucktards ‘running’ (and I use the term loosely) the country?

  146. 146


    Follow the above link.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    I think this is a video of the Home Secretary – it certainly looks like her. The guy in the mask presumably represents the British taxpayer

  148. 148
    Vicola says:

    Listen Panshine, don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for this shower of shagbats and neither did about 80% of the rest of Britain. Don’t hold us all responsible for the fact that a few people were stupid enough to tick the ‘same old shit’ box at the last election.

  149. 149
    Vicola says:

    I’ll second that Muppet! It’s utterly ridiculous.

  150. 150
    Anon. says:

    No, wrong.

    A (not indulgent) salary, a free room to sleep in when in ‘town’ and minimal, independently audited expenses.

    No more. If they don’t like it they can fuck off.

    If they continue to trough they deserve to be flogged.

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Yup, the biggest hoon of them all ….

    Gordon Brown has said Home Secretary Jacqui Smith’s use of Commons expenses for two adult films watched by her husband should be a “personal matter”. (BBC website)

  152. 152
    Minekiller says:


  153. 153
    Trumpeter Lanfried says:

    I think it was Nick Robinson who said, on Today this morning, that Labour were ‘going on the attack’ over this issue, determined to ‘out’ a Tory mole in the Fees Office.

    You have already said it Guido, and so has everyone else, but the sheer bloody stupidity of this approach is jaw-dropping. They strive, every day, to earn our contempt – and succeed.

  154. 154

    Never mind backwoods – if Becket’s a swinger then I’m becoming a back door man.

  155. 155

    […] Guido says they don’t like it up ‘em: […]

  156. 156
    Bladesforever says:

    Also two washing machines in two years on expenses,is one in Redditch and was the other quietly transferred to Sister Smiths house in London.

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    No the choice is if you commit Fraud you go to Jail for a lengthy term to deter others.

  158. 158
    labourwipeout says:

    He did it cause he was told to . Otherwise known as the Nuremberg defence.

  159. 159
    labourwipeout says:

    not when they are using our money it isnt.

  160. 160
    labourwipeout says:

    How about “Benefit cheats, a personal matter “.

  161. 161
    labourwipeout says:

    It is being reported that the MP for Falkirk has posted the largest expense claims for travel to & from Westminster. Now last time I looked Falkirk is not located in the Shetlands so how come ?

  162. 162
    thespecialone says:

    Butt Plug????????

    Oh my god I’m just about to have my evening meal…..Jackboots and a butt plug. I am off to be sick!

  163. 163
    Sailor says:

    Well done Lakelander. I’ve nicked a few more from your Flikr page. Just love the one of Blair with the noose.

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Jacqui Smith’s response to being found out was a perfect example of how far away from reality they all are.

    “oh, I was shocked and appalled when I was told what I’d claimed public money for.”

    She didn’t even bother to read the expenses form that she was claiming with; she just passed every single household bill to her “secretary” and said “claim that lot”.

    I mean, if you’re not even going to bother reading what you’re claiming for, you’ve got to expect the people paying for it all to say, “hold on a second; you’re telling me you don’t even know what you’re claiming for? well in that case you don’t need/deserve the money, now fuck off.”

    arrogant bitch.

    she personifies everything that’s wrong about labour.

    It’ll only get worse; they’ll grab everything possible before 2010. It’ll be like a stampede for who can fill their coffers the quickest/most before they all get put on the dole.

    oh, how I’m looking forward to 2010 and Smith’s “portillo moment”.

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    Vermin are indeed morally superior to Labour politicians.

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    Pay them what they’re worth – nothing.

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Rip their guts out.

  168. 168
    Anonymous says:

    Pay each MP no more than he or she earned previously in a non-governmental job.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    Make sure they only get modest payment, but only for actual good results. Stuffing the country counts as a reason to be flogged or tortured to death.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s Colonel Pride when you need a purge of Parliament?

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    A third of a million a year to mess up the education system and trough as a useless minister? What a great family business he and his wife have got!

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    The police have been Blairised. They only attack the opposition, while Circe Smith watches her pigs in action..

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    An honest person could not possibly be a Labour supporter. They know that already.

  174. 174
    Rembrandt says:

    Brown-Nose wants to fuck her off. Bitch is a liability, smiling, sneering thieveing, clueless fuckwit. She’s had so many chances to put things right in her job and has continually failed – everyone remember the flak-jacket walk surrounded by plod in London when she claimed ‘…what crime problem…?’

    You’d have thought that jibbering idiot of a husband would have kept his nose clean for the family (admittedly , it was last year…but public position and all that…).

    She’s almost as bad as those two snivelling fools that are on my patch – Yvette and Ed-no-Balls – complete pair of twats – they love it when I picture them seperately (Press) but you’ll never see them hold hands or be right next to each other in public – they don’t like to be pictured together, must be something they don’t trust about the press and reality….

  175. 175
    Rembrandt says:

    Correct. She’s a useless, self-effacing shit. I don’t think I can remember a politician being told in forums and circles like this to fuck themselves off so much by people in recent times.

    It’s not just about money, expenses, claims, etc – it’s about righting what is quite frankly and important part of our society – which is politicans and elected leadership – you can bet most of them are on the take, but it’s like a lot of society is nowadays. Give people a hatch and they’ll jam it open as wide as they can and stuff as much through it as possible. Decency should be returned to our system where politicans cared about the people they represent, not filling their (back) pockets with cash and wanking it all off down the road for more public money to clean it up.

    My experience of a lot of the elected is they are useless, stuck up shits with no interest in anything but themselves – I have met a few from more deprived areas who have a genuine interest in what goes on and try to make life better – but they’re the ones swept under the Gravy Train of filth from Westminster. I never trusted Liebour once from the moment Tory Blair flashed that smile in 1997 – at least he was being open about what it took to get there (let’s just paint that Tory manifesto red and see who notices….?).

    Fucking useless.

  176. 176

    […] porn movies and then submitting the bills as expenses, together with their private subscription, Guido Fawkes suggests that MPS are becoming ever morer agitated about further revelations to add to their […]

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    If they are using taxpayer money to invest in second homes, surely when they sell the second homes, they must at least pay tax on the profits. Anyone else would be pursued by the Inland Revenue. My guess is that they use the taxpayer money to pay for a home in a location they wouldnt normally be able to afford, then either sell their original home and move in when they lose their seat, or sell the taxpayer paid home and pocket the profit. Although I believe the police should be involved in a fraud investigation, that will never happen, but maybe, the IR has the guts to get involved and try at least to get back some of the money they have stolen. The BNP get my vote next time. Not because they are more honest, but at least I know what I am getting and perhaps, just perhaps, they may not steal our money. Lets get rid of Labour and the Conservatives. Vote for anyone, but not these charlatans.

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