March 29th, 2009

Sunday Sleaze Porno Special

Sunday Sleaze

timney

Jacqui Smith Porn

To err is human, to charge it to the taxpayers is to steal to fund your vice.

Jacqui Smith’s husband  Richard Timney – who she pays £40,000 a year out of parliamentary expenses – is exposed in the Sunday Express for charging his porno-on-demand subscription to the taxpayer.

He gets to watch the money shots and we pay for his cheap thrills.  What possible explanation is there for charging this to the taxpayer?   Guido would like to hear Richard Timney justify his state subsidised w***ing.

Meanwhile Nigel Griffiths it seems was less than honest in explaining to the News of the World his very own pornographic photo-shoot in his office when he claimed to them that their story was  “Absolutely groundless! Fabricated evidence! You must have some fabricated evidence! Outrageous! Absolutely outrageous!”

The News of the Screws mock his lawyer’s claims:

Incredibly 53-year-old Griffiths wants you to believe he has “little recollection” of spending 38 minutes taking 27 explicit images of a woman spreadeagled across the furniture of his ground floor Commons office, just yards from the Prime Minister’s own Commons office.

It was such an unmemorable sex session that he also apparently barely remembers, just half hour later, spending another hour and 40 minutes taking a futher 44 pictures at a second location.

On Friday Griffiths’ lawyer David Price blamed the MP’s loss of memory about the Remembrance Day romp on being “under the influence of alcohol”. But at one point he had recollected enough to create the time to transfer those 71 snaps from his camera to his laptop.

griffiths-arseRemember that his Remembrance Day Frolic took place in his office paid for by the taxpayers, then went on to presumably his flat, also paid for by the taxpayers.  Far from it being a drunken and forgotten frolic it turns out that he took the deliberate trouble to ensure he would not forget, by uploading the pictures to his laptop – a laptop computer also paid for by the taxpayers out of his parliamentary expenses.  Presumably this would be so he would be able to reminisce over the 27 photos and later he too could enjoy a state subsidised w**k over the memory.

In other news Lord Myners, the minister responsible for cracking down on tax havens, has assets hidden in offshore tax havens. No porn involved this time, but he is still a w****er.


475 Comments

  1. 1
    kinglear says:

    I think if I was married to Jacqui I would need a porno film to get it up…

    • 3
      The Hon. Member for Buttkiss says:

      Yep – a lot more than £10 worth. Of course she won’t resign – they have no shame.

      • 222
        Nipper says:

        One can only guess at what they were watching?

        Last Tango in Redditch
        Come again Mandy
        Flesh Gordon

    • 32

      …and with Jacqui living with her mum all the time and all, it looks like hand relief at the taxpayers expense was the only perceived option.

    • 35
      Anon. says:

      Haven’t these hoons heard of torrent technology?

      • 187
        Sean O says:

        Well as Broon hasn’t even got a multi region dvd player – how could any NuLab freak have heard of torrents?

        Anyway isn’t the NuLab line – file sharing funds terrorism?

    • 54
      Rod Munch says:

      Can’t see the problem myself, I’m sure looking at bleary eyed Five Bellies first thing in the morning would get me to attention and ready to give her lush kebab the juicing it so richly deserves.

      • 64
        Anon. says:

        wan chilli sawce wi that m8?

      • 74

        Fucking hell I nearly threw up into my cup of tea

      • 281
        Anonymous says:

        god I can just imagine her standing there with thousands of rouge hairs poking out the sides of her knickers. While her tits point straight at the ground and her belly button is concealed under the rolls of fat.

        for those of you reading this who think it’s far too personal, I’m paying for her, her husband, her main residence, her constituency house……….. she’s the one taking the piss out of me!

    • 86
      Anonymous says:

      Porno-on-demand should be given free to any husband of a British female Politician – along with a complimentary hooker & a massage therapist.

      You can’t blame the poor sod if you click on the link below – they’re all lookers.

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/25/article-1164890-0418225B000005DC-841_634x414.jpg

      (Sorry lads if you were having breakfast).

    • 141
      LOL from Planet Mad says:

      Ladbrokes spokesman: “Out of nowhere Daniel Hannan has become the hottest thing in politics since Jacqui Smith’s film collection”

    • 165
      Peter Grimes says:

      Unless he really, really loves her and missed her so much he was watching ‘Fat Middle-Aged Tarts with Big Tits and No Morals’ to remind him of her.

      I could understand that!

    • 231
    • 258
      Biffo says:

      You beat me to it – that was my very first thought too when I saw the headline. However, in this oh-so-PC world am I wrong to discriminate against thick fat slappers like our Second Home Secretary Spliff?

    • 336
      It wis'nae me says:

      The point is, these scumbags claim EVERYTHING and hope nobody notices

    • 355
      Anonymous says:

      at least he’s not contaminating the gene pool

    • 470
      Anonymous says:

      A friend of mine suggested a name for this scandal “Mastergate”

    • 473
      Muppet says:

      Will having a “Rick Timmney” now take over from “J Arthur” ?

      Enquiring minds need to know.

  2. 2
    The Hon. Member for Buttkiss says:

    Jacqboot is finished – fancy having such a HOON for a husband. Breathtaking. It is debatable which is the greater pornography – selling sex, or selling democracy – down the river. Sack them all. Let’s have an election.

    • 14
      anonybot says:

      Jacqui is safe she’s taken the advice of her mate – Tessa – on how to deal with errant husbands!!!!! As well has no doubt administering a god-almighty kick to his balls first.

      Addendum:

      Richard – first rule – if you’re watching “porno” moves- Don’t charge it to your wife’s account. It tends to make things a little fraught around the home notwithstanding the self-gratification gained as the “Mrs” tends NOT to like her husband watching porno movies on the family TV

  3. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Ah – so no actual ‘fucking’ took place in this ‘sex romp’ ??

    More accurately it would be described as a ‘lingerie photo shoot’ ??

    Nothing to see here – move along now…

    • 68
      Dick the Prick says:

      A chum mentioned that his buddy got booted out of his ol’ dear’s house for popping on the grumble after a night on the beers and fell asleep with pants round ankles but -

      To have a shandy in a national newspaper – OMFG – ‘the horror, the horror’.

      The Tesco bag and Satsuma still wins but Timney’s in a strong runner up position. Fantastic and completely avoidable.

      I went on a stag do to Munich a couple of years back and got to hotel checkout 1st – obviously really pretty girl on reception, obviously. So I kind of whispered ‘err…and I owe you for some err..telly as well’. Then waiting in reception all 12 or so of us, including father and father in law ‘ err… and telly as well’. Standard operating procedure – pay in cash, not on the bill, they’re never gonna see you again – unbelievable.

  4. 5
  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    I’m just waiting for that ‘full confidence’ kiss of death from Gorgon…

    But Harriet Harman will be over-joyed this morning. Every problem is an opportunity.

    Every time someone else stumbles, it brings her further to the fore.

    It could soon be time for her to ‘break cover’…

  6. 7
    Dirty Rat says:

    I rather like the idea of a state subsidised wank. Any chance of getting one off the NHS?

  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    But this wasn’t ‘hardcore’ stuff – so surely Richard Desmond will be disappointed that he isn’t getting his own ‘porno empire’ bailout from taxpayer funds ??

  8. 9
    Dave H. says:

    He appears to be holding a Kleenex ready.

  9. 10
    étoile de chocolat says:

    Porn name generator

    http://gangstaname.com/porn_name.php

    Jaqui Smith – Sandy Stroker
    Gordon Brown – Humpy Rammer
    David Milliband – BJ Maxim
    Derek Draper – Sweet jam
    Ed Milliband – Ron Strokum
    Alistair Darling – Javier Phukzalot
    Douglas Alexander – Dr Nut
    Hazel Blears – Slappy Stroker
    Andy Burnham – Uncle Nekkid, D.D.S.
    Geoff Hoon – Geoff Hoon

  10. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, but let us not forget that the taxpayer is, quite rightly, helping to fund arthouse ’18′ certificate cinema which wouldn’t get a distribution deal from a ‘Hollywood’ studio, as they are too interested in producing mass produced shite for the brainless masses.

    Jacqui Smith Rocks !!

  11. 12
    Rexel 56 says:

    I’m sorry I’m looking at this on a small screen, is he actually having a wank in that picture?

  12. 15
    couldnt make it up says:

    it makes a change. we gave him one off the wrist and it only cost us a tenner, they usually shaft us big time

    what a tosser!!

  13. 16
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    Foreign Agent Miliband and the shrieking Balls bag both singing from the same sheet on different channels about the C in C of the NuLab Home Guard this morning.

    Do we need 60,000 Pte Godfreys? Or is the entire exercise just to free up bandwidth for the Porn of State?

  14. 17
    Scopes says:

    No mention of what this herberts taste in porn is then?

    I think we should be told.

  15. 18
    A.F says:

    They behave like this with no thought because there’s so much of it going on,I believe they take the piss to such an extent it’s never even concidered,what do they get away with without challenge?Is there a case for charging for a hooker when the missus is working away,man cannot live on bread alone.

  16. 19
    Andy H says:

    If this government was a pet we would all, by now, have agreed that putting it out of its misery would be kinder then let it continue to suffer.

    From Stalin to Mr Bean to Carry On Emmanuelle.

  17. 20
    Anonymous says:

    But this woman is not his ‘mistress’ she is just a ‘trollope’ acting on the agency of the News Of The World. Unless she is an agent acting on the instructions of a foreign power, then there is nothing to see here..

  18. 21
    Anonymous says:

    A review of John Lyon and his post of Parliamentary Standards Commissioner needs to be undertaken. He is the person who okays MPs’ expenses.

  19. 22
    bustop says:

    I hear Griffiths is putting in an expenses claim for filming his antics in the House of Commons on account that Jacqui asked him to do it for Richard.
    Perhaps the ‘Smiths’ watched it together? They say female pigs orgasm for one hour. With the help of porn and rolling around on wads of our money perhaps snout in the trough Jacqui mimics the animal in this way too?

  20. 23
    Mazza1230 says:

    How much longer are we going to have to wait before having the opportunity to defenestrate the mendacious Brown and his loathsome, sleaze ridden sycophants?

  21. 25
    City of Vice says:

    ‘State-subsidised wanking.’ A Classic! This is so fucking funny it hurts! I can’t wait to see what Dolly’s little helpers make of that.

    Actually, I’m ‘intensely relaxed’ about Griffiths’ antics. After all, it is not being suggested that he paid for the bint out public money, just that he used his parliamentary offices as the venue for his romps. There is no additional cost to the taxpayer for this, as we pay for the costs his office regardless. Some might argue that by romping while at work Griffiths’ has stolen time paid for from the public purse. I respectfully disagree. The more work time Labour politicians spend shagging their secretaries or the odd slapper the less time there is for them to fuck over the rest of us. That’s a good deal in my book.

    The Jackie Smith porn thing is far more serious. This is fiddling additional money for private benefit based on a dodgy expense claim. Anyone know the name of the film or the porn channel involved? Once a politician becomes an object of ridicule, he or she is finished.

    Bye Jackie, don’t let the door hit your fat arse on the way out.

  22. 26
    Number 6 says:

    Guido, it looks like he is having a j arthur rank in that photo and mopping it up with a wad of our money.

    • 103
      Anonymous says:

      Historical note: Jack Gold’s 1968 movie ‘The Bofors Gun’ was banned from Odeon cinemas because one of the characters referred to having a ‘J Arthur Rank’. The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.

  23. 27
    Slim Jim says:

    I’m going to have a word with my accountant tomorrow. Perhaps we could look at the possibility of claiming tax relief (as well as any other kind) on porn in this year’s tax return. Not that I would have any to claim. No. Well, not much anyway.

    • 469
      Anonymous says:

      Is that “Roll Over Relief” you’re referring to. A bit of that and some “Double Dip” ad you’ll be a new person!

  24. 28
    Anonymous says:

    I spend my lonely weeks in London
    Working for Gordon Brown
    And crash out on my sister’s floor
    Just as the sun goes down
    On Friday nights I head back home,
    My second home that is,
    To spend some time with my true love
    And get some married bliss

    Dick’s waiting for me in Redditch,
    Get me there driver soon
    I want to lie in his strong arms
    And go into a swoon
    I want to collect his DNA
    For my own database
    I want to open my bursting blouse
    And thrust them in his face

    On Friday night when I got home
    My second home that is,
    Dick said he was all shagged out
    And just gave me a kiss
    On that fateful Sunday morning,
    I read it in the press
    Dick’s been watching some dirty films
    And got us in a mess

    It seems he’s been paying five quid
    For “Dirty Debutantes”
    Despite what’s bursting from my blouse
    It’s not me that he wants
    No Tarantino, no Scorsese,
    No Bergmann, no Kubrick
    You can’t beat old J Arthur
    Says naughty, naughty Dick

    Now I’m the two homes secretary
    And hold the highest rank
    But Dick he isn’t that impressed
    He’d rather have a wank
    Another Monday morning dawns
    I’m heading back to town
    The saddest thing is that I’ll be
    Working for Gordon Brown

    Oh Dick! Oh Dick! You stupid prick
    I don’t mind pay to view
    But you claimed it on expenses
    And gave the press their cue
    Next Friday when I come back home
    My second home that is
    I’ll be expecting rather more
    Than just a friendly kiss

    • 51
      King Karlos says:

      Expecting more than a friendly kiss, aye, but I’d steer clear of offering a pearl necklace by way of an apology

    • 55
      Plato says:

      That is class – bookmarked.

      Well done Sir Anon

      • 83
        Anonymous says:

        You’re too kind. I think it should be “No Coppola, no Scorcese” because Tarantino doesn’t scan.

        Pam Heirs

    • 107
      Anonymous says:

      Well done, Andrew Motion. You really can knock them out to order, can’t you?

      • 122
        Plato says:

        I’d rather read one of your outstanding contributions than the cartoon on a Monday morning.

        The weekends are brimming with rich possibilities.

        And here was me thinking that there was bugger all happening in politics last weekend. Just like buses.

      • 417
        Peter Grimes says:

        Just like Mr Jacquiboots then!

    • 441
      petuniabean says:

      That is the most brilliant poem that I almost have ever read. Well done Anonymous, you should be made Poet Homesecretaryate. Write on……

  25. 29
    Harman_Pride 11 says:

    Calm down everyone.

    Richard Timney was simply engaged on researching the effects on a middle aged man’s libido during a wife’s absence on important state business.

    That this important and meaningful investigation should not be be an allowable expense is petty minded in the extreme.

    There are more important matters to be debated in this auspicious week when PM Brown will initiate his bold strategy to turn around the global economy.

    Lets get our priorities in order, please.

  26. 31
    oldrightie says:

    She’s just blaming it on Hubby. It’s ‘er wot watched ‘em! have a go at my caption comp, Guido!

  27. 33

    Watched a very enjoyable West Wing last night, in which there was some discussion as to how the drafters of the constitution used their experience of English politics, where power had corrupted and absolute power had absolutely corrupted, to introduce plenty of checks and balances into the fledgling US political system in an attempt to avoid all the shennanigans they were seeing in the Old Country. Yanquis to whom I have spoken on the subject are constantly amazed as to the extraordinary power wielded by the UK Prime Minister, and are astounded when the hear that one can get into this pole position without any form of direct public approval or vote.

    Currently reading The American System of Government by Ernest Griffith, well worth looking for on eBay.

  28. 34
    Old Fart says:

    Jacqui’s main home (the one where she has her box room ) is in Nunhead, whilst Dick is at home in Redditch getting no head – so we pay for the hand job.

  29. 36
    King Karlos says:

    Looks like steps are already being taken to prevent our honounrable, ahem, members from engaging in a Jodrell in the parliamentary office:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7965592.stm

  30. 40
    Swiss Toni says:

    Does anyone actually know what films Mr Smith was watching? I’ve got a fiver each way on ‘Butch Lesbian and the Labpdance Kid’.

    • 116
      The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

      Biometric Buttplug Bitches and Fill My Doner-I’ve Done Nothing Wrong?

  31. 41
    Hugh Jardon says:

    Spliffy says that she wasn’t at home.
    Whilst I’ve never actually paid (nor claimed on expenses) for an adult film, I do wonder if it’s possible to record these for later viewing.
    Sky/Virgin + or whatever.
    SO, whilst Spliffy may be claiming all innocence…I do wonder.

    Now then, on to more important things…
    Have I mentioned that I may have sorted out Mrs Dolly overf the bonnet of my car when I was 17??? :-)

  32. 42
    Alan Douglas says:

    It has now been established that the so called “porn channels” he was watching were in fact videos of other nations’ female politicians.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1164890/Oh-Yes-Minister-Meet-women-voted-worlds-stunning-politicians-WOULD-Sir-Humphrey-say–.html

    Can you blame him ?

    Alan Douglas

    • 73
      Gladstone Screwer says:

      Like that French one featured here the other day? Or the Italian porn star who went into politics…Sarah Palin??

      All pretty worthy of a five knuckle shuffle I say, I’d shoot my beans over them any day.

    • 102
      Anonymous says:

      Scroll to end to the pix of “Look who didn’t make the Cut” …. says it all really.

  33. 43
    Wanking my Blues Away! says:

    Hasn’t he heard of PornHub!

    Why waste money on the soft-core shite on TV?

  34. 44
    Pity the poor bastard, says:



    Yer, – but yer gotta pity the poor bastard ain’t ja?

    Only chips to eat at home, and 32AA to fondle.

    And a bulging – wots that thing called wot men hav?

    Wait a mo – ain’t he been seen-to by HarPerson and her lesbo crones – and given ‘feminine sensitivity’ sessions?

    As fer chargin it up to the sheeple, – well, they are the gummunt, – innit?

    Oi – Guido! – wot yer meen ‘slow darn’ – oi can’t not go no slower!!

  35. 45
    Ian E says:

    The Hon. Member for Buttkiss says:
    March 29, 2009 at 9:22 am
    Jacqboot is finished – fancy having such a HOON for a husband. Breathtaking. It is debatable which is the greater pornography – selling sex, or selling democracy – down the river. Sack them all. Let’s have an election.

    Probably what her hubby keeps telling her!

  36. 46
    John Lyon CB - I don't do Sundays says:

    I have heard or seen nothing which requires my attention, thank you.

  37. 47
    Bogeyman says:

    I notice that even his lower-rated film, Oceans 13, features a character called Willy Bank.

    Ms Smith is also said to have given her husband a “real ear-bashing”. Did he pay extra for this?

  38. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Oh come along now, what is the problem here ??

    I am currently on Job Seekers’ Allowance, even though I have a shovel full of cash in my ISA. And I go and see ‘art’ on stage and screen, thus helping the economy.

    I mean, if Jacqui Smith’s hubby wasn’t watching risque films on the fibre-optic cable then there would have to be some other means of taxing the ill-gotten gains of rich people to oil the wheels of the economy, and limit the huge income and wealth disparity in society at the moment, no ??

    You stupid fuckers think that people should be allowed to hoover up as much cash as you can, with not a thought to the welfare of other people, without buying ‘fairtrade’ products, and not share that wealth with others a lot less fortunate than yourselves.

    What bollocks that is !! The money re-distributed to pensioners and people on Job Seekers’ Allowance like me isn’t squirrelled away [well, apart from the cash in my ISA, natch, and my house equity] but spent on the economy and thence to the hands of another, like the artists and actors in my local cinema and theatre.

  39. 49
    Anonymous says:

    That’s no lady. That’s the ghost of Stephen Milligan.

  40. 50
    Mothers_Pride says:

    They really do just wank over us all!

  41. 52
    Taxfodder says:

    Pretty soon we are going to start hearing a lot about changing the way MP’s claim expenses and allowances.

    These changes will need to be pretty far reaching and very proactive in saving the taxpayer from those MP’s that still think the UK taxpayer owes them a living.

    Only Transparent Affordable and Justifiable in relation to met targets will pass muster if Westminster hopes to retain any semblance of credibility.

    Its time the Taxpayer set their standards and targets

    Clearly they can’t be trusted themselves!

  42. 53
    Rexel 56 says:

    Is this not proof positive that the Home secretary only spends two nights a week away from home?

  43. 56
    Tough on wanking, tough on the causes of wanking... says:

    HAR! What a great way to start BST! I almost feel sorry for him. Who wants a lecture from Frau Jacqui Schimitt on the perils of wanking.

    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      ME! ME! ME!

      But first I would need to know how to do it!

      Will she show me? Please – oh please Sir – ME ME ME!

      LET ME!!

  44. 57
    King Karlos says:

    Can we be sure it wasn’t Jacqui who ordered the porn? After all she’s the one in the photo squinting in the glasses??

  45. 58
    Plato says:

    I assume that the Sunday Mail have a stooge in the photocopying room where 1m MP receipts are being censored.

    I wonder what else will cum there way ?!

  46. 59
    Culture Vulture, says:



    I do believe this is a – a – a – one o’ them arty farty still loif things – loik a cameo – tableu sort a fing.

    Nah – nuffin ‘appens – there’s no exchange of bodily fluids involved – ova wise St Patsy of EwaTit ‘n Mzz. Tess of the Jowell ‘n ‘elf ‘n saftey would hav to be inovlved – innit?

    Who pays for the Kleenex by the way? To wipe away the tears – or smears – of joy?


    Old-Noo (nee NooOld GrinningBoringLiars) – Bringing Kul-cha to yer doorstep

  47. 60

    Not only … but also …

    Harry Cohen, Jacqui Lait, Bob Neill, Tony McNulty, Adam Ingram, John Reid, Alan Milburn and David Blunkett.

    Step forward Mr John Lyon, the independent Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards, and do your job. The blood pressure of The man on the Clapham Omnibus is rising.

  48. 62
    Anonymous says:

    The 1 April was a Tuesday but 6 April was a Sunday and we all know she doesn’t return to her “main residence” until Monday morning so perhaps a romantic Saturday/ Sunday night is to blame. I can’t find her diary for last year – but I’m sure someone can.

    • 97
      Anonymous says:

      The film on 1 April was watched at 21.18 and the 6 April at 23.19pm.

      • 123
        Anonymous says:

        Jaquboots went to bed early that Sunday night because her motorcade to Whitehall leaves early on Monday morning. After their unsatisfactory clinch the previous night, hubby tip-toed downstairs for quick hand shandy. Life is tough at the top.

  49. 63
    The Beast says:

    Has this Hoon Timney not heard of youporn.com or red tube.com?
    Plenty of free “self help” material there and its free

  50. 65
    Olly Reader says:

    Where was the porn watched, in her sister’s broom cupboard….. I mean her main residence or the other house. I’m now so confused I can’t remember which property we’re paying the useless shit for.

  51. 66
    Anonymous says:

    40/ Swiss Toni – Hilarious !!

    Always had a feeling that this had a ‘marriage of convenience’ vibe about it..

  52. 69
    Anon. says:

    Fucking wanker.

  53. 71
    John K says:

    How about a competition for most self righteous and outraged comment to get posted on the Dail Mail comments section?

    I’ll start with

    The peddlers of this outrageous filth have clearly found a willing audience in Jacqui Smith’s husband. That he should be allowed to gorge himself on this foul pornography at the taxpayers expense is indeed an obscenity of the first order. Mail on Sunday readers will be rightly enraged that their hard earned taxes are being used to purchase such disgusting and depraved material. Thank you Mail on Sunday for such a penetrating investigation.

    Not that great but it’s a start

    Posted as John K, Tittinghurst, Surrey

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1165611/Blue-movies-expenses-How-Jacqui-Smiths-husband-watched-pornographic-movies–paid-taxpayer.html

  54. 72
    Gordon says:

    You are far too unkind to poor Jackboot. Whilst not the most attractive lady in the world, look at her husband. She’s far better looking than he could have realistically hoped for, and I’m sure he never expected his wife would be paying him £40k when he married a poor home ec teacher. He should be thanking his lucky stars every day, not thinking “ugh, it’s jaqui, let’s think of something else nwhilst doing it.”

    (I may be slightly biased though, she’s authoritarian, has lots of power and is associated with boots… sorry, must be off to have my own wank, unfortunately not paid for by the public sector. Wonder why Ruth Kelly never wore boots…)

  55. 77
    Tony.M says:

    Credit where credit’s due – this exposé is from the Sunday Express, not the Mail on Sunday. They’ve dug up more dirt on the MP’s second homes scandal.

  56. 78

    This is pure Alan Partridge.

    Does anybody remember the episode where the staff of his hotel bill him for watching “Bangkok Chick Boys” on his hotel television, and then he tries very hard to explain that it was an accident, and that he meant to watch “Driving Miss Daisy” instead?

    I thought it was comedy, but it was actually speculative fiction; an accurate prediction of the future. And of course there is the implication that Jacqui Smith does not satisfy her husband in a carnal way, which is odd because she is actually quite attractive.

  57. 79
    Joolzibub says:

    You couldn’t make this stuff up. It just gets better and better. I say “bring back public flogging and the stocks”.

  58. 80

    Is it just me that thinks he look like Iain Dale?

  59. 81
    Cato says:

    To the Editor of the Redditch Chronicle (or something like that)

    Dear Sir,
    I would like to pay tribute to my hard working husband, Mr Richard Timney. While I shuffle round Westminster on my daily grind, I am reassured to know that he is performing diligent and strenuous enquiries into the dark world of pornography.

    There will, of course, be a public consultation on just how far he should go in pursuing this labial laborious chore.

    yours

    J. Spliff (Mrs)

  60. 84
    Cato says:

    Oooops, should have been a strikethrough on ‘labial’..Just pretend there is one.

  61. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Old Holborn – Oh good grief !! No, It couldn’t be could it !! No NO !! He hasn’t been living a ‘secret double life’ has he ?? NO ! He hasn’t posted on it yet so maybe the old queen has been a ‘double agent’ in the closet with Jacqui !!

    No wonder he gets so many scoops !! What will his ‘missus’ say ??

    • 89
      Anon. says:

      Am sure the old queen will be backed up to the hilt by his ‘missus’.

      • 216
        Anonymous says:

        shouldn’t that be
        “the Old queen I am sure should be in the back and up to the hilt in his missus”

  62. 90
    Anonymous says:

    YET another example of staggering New Labour hypocrisy from the home secretary.
    If she had an ounce of self respect and decency she would resign with immediate effect.

    • 95

      So she won’t resign then.

    • 100
      Anonymous says:

      But then – as she’s constantly telling us – if she has nothing to hide, she has nothing to fear!

      • 170
        Minekiller says:

        Except she seems to hiding her twat from her husband, hence the need for his services of Widow Twanky and her five lovely daughters – and the taxpayer has paid for the pornal stimulant!

        It is amazing isn’t it? just when you think the ZaNuLabia clan cannot sink lower, we get this story, with the Cohen ‘I’m worth more than Churchill’ – on the back this week of the McNulty theiving bastard, Griffiths porn photo shoot at the office and the Hannan nuke-rebuke to Brown. They say a week is a long time in politics, it must seem like millenia for these assholes….and we think they fuck us over, apparently not content with that they wank over us too….

  63. 93
    pp says:

    So now Jacqui is collecting every call/intenet access etc…

    do we get to see what else hubby has been up to?

    Come on Jacqui – if you’ve nothing to hide you’ve nothing to fear.

  64. 94
    Labour anon says:

    It’s well known around Westminster that Jacqui likes a bit of porn so I don’t believe her when she denies watching these films. Apparently she likes seeing dykes with strap-ons so these films may have been a bit soft-core for her.

    In other news, Yvette Cooper seems to be overdoing the valium again.

  65. 96
    Anonymous says:

    In fairness to the BBC, they are ‘going large’ on this problem, and openly are speculating about her future, and using words like ‘undermined’…

    • 104
      Anonymous says:

      Yup, good point. This is still on the front page.

      Smith ‘sorry’ for expenses claim
      The Home Secretary is to pay back parliamentary expenses which were reportedly used to pay for adult pay-per-view films.

      • 130
        Plato says:

        All £67. I’m rather more concerned about the £100k+ for her sister’s spare room.

        Just think how much porn he could of bought with that!

      • 147
        Rexel 56 says:

        Exactly Plato

        “I have £116,067 of dodgy claims so I will make a big show of paying back £67 hoping the electorate will quietly forget about the other 99.9%”

        Stupid bint, I mean was I the only one who saw the headline “Home Secretary apologises for expenses claim” and assumed that she had coughed to the whole f*****g lot?

      • 241
        Katabasis says:

        Rexel – no you’re not the only one.

  66. 98
    info wanted on Nigel Griffiths! says:

    ******Top dollar paid for interesting info on Nigel Griffiths MP********

    email newsdesk@notw.co.uk

  67. 99
    Anonymous says:

    L is for Labour.
    L is for Lice.

  68. 105
    Real Hell Now says:

    It’s not porn, it’s pay-per-view tv. That’s how the Beeboids are playing the story

    • 124
      Anonymous says:

      It’s still on the Beeboid front page (news.bbc.co.uk) as “adult pay-per-view films”.

      And Marr suggested to Millipead that “isn’t this the last straw” for Jaqboots.

  69. 110
    Gazza! says:

    No shame these Bastards?

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they keep their hidden daughters and grand children in the basement for frolics at the taxpayers expenses also.

  70. 111
    Anonymous says:

    O/T from Boulton & Co

    The “family photo” at the progressive government conference almost became a minor diplomatic incident when our own PM didn’t turn up.

    It was shrugging shoulders and puzzled expressions all round as the eight became seven.

    Five minutes later, Gordon hove into view and the snappers snapped away.

    Those on the scene tell me he’d been to the toilet.

    Well, it was a long press conference I suppose

    • 115
      King Karlos says:

      At least he didn’t piss himself in public

      • 223
        Toilets McQuire says:

        don’t shake his hand afterwards FFS

        By the way Brazil suffered a massive chemical fire yesterday the worse in living memory. Funny I am sure someone famous just went there recently

  71. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Now just think, if only Nigel Griffiths had been willing to make a ‘home-made’ porn movie with Jacqui Smith at the Palace of Westminster, and put the thing on DVD, they could have ‘kept it all in-house’, and the ‘News of the World’ tart and Virgin [sic] Media might have been kept out of the equation, and none of this trouble would ever have happened…

  72. 117
    Anonymous says:

    In other soft porn sleaze today:
    Lord Myners hid his money in tax haven
    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article5993185.ece

  73. 118
    Plato says:

    Public Service Announcement – BlogWars III.

    Mr Dale has finally banned Mr Ireland – again.

  74. 120
    labourwipeout says:

    Cant wait for the next titilating episode of “Carry on Gordon”.

  75. 121
    Anonymous says:

    This is all a simple misunderstanding. Mr Jacqui Smith thought he was paying to watch ‘WaLking With Dinosaurs’….

  76. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Wonder what the Harpy has to say about this clear abuse of Vunerable Women by abusive males. Thats the party line is it not ?

  77. 128
    Jacqui Smith says:

    It’s time to ban wanking to keep Britain safe.

  78. 131
    The Labour Government says:

    there is always a whif of something unpleasant about Jaqui Smith

  79. 132
    The Beast says:

    At least she paid the money back
    “LABOUR , TOUGH ON WANKING AND TOUGH ON THE CAUSES OF WANKING”

  80. 133
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    I am sure Mr Timney will bear the gunt of the Home Secratary’s anger.

    • 268

      “Gunt”? Also the biffin. Or perhaps then and again the taint.

      • 393
        The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

        Courtesy of Marcus Brigstocke, it is extolled by Mr Woppit thus:

        ” Imagine if you will, a woman of a certain age. And of a certain weight. A woman who has elected to wear a particularly high waisted style of trouser, with the belt done up rather too tightly so that it seems to suck everything in. Now, if one progresses south from the belt there exists, before one arrives at the pubis, the area of the “fly” or “zipper”. This area actually extends outwards. It seems to bulge and swell, almost to hang. And this area, ladies and gentlemen, has a name.

        It is called…..

        ……the gunt.”

  81. 135
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Surely the appalling thing is that MP’s expect the taxpayer to pick up the tab for home entertainment, whether it was porn or not is besides the issue. Timney is obviously a crap assistant if he can’t even scrutinise expenses claims.

  82. 137
    Papieren, bitte says:

    “If you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to fear.”

  83. 138
  84. 140
    Bob Roberts, Worcester says:

    …just as well no-one is asking too many questions about the paid-for internet connection. One liner comment in the Daily Mail, then click on all that sleaze in NOTW… OOOh, AAAAh. Jacqui gets really excited when she sees the list of sites I’ve visited in her new internet database, too…

  85. 142
    simon r says:

    I heard that one of the films was HOT HORNY LESBIANS starring Ruth Kelly, Yvette Cooper and Sarah Brown.

  86. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Why can they claim for videos anyway? I’d object if it was The Sound of Music.

  87. 145
    Swiss Bob says:

    .

    Morning Guido, talking of porn, risqué photographs, someone sent me some interesting pictures yesterday. . .

    Other news: THE ADAM SMITH INSTITUTE VS THE PEOPLE

    and if you are bored with the usual shit Sunday papers check out skymadeupnewsandfilth, tits, sport and politics, filth for everyone.

    .

  88. 146
    A pedantic w***er says:

    surely that should be w***er, not w****er?

  89. 148
    Mandingo says:

    Five pounds says he was beating the meat to Flesh Gordon.

    Meanwile, two jags Prescott has anounced that he’s always approved of tax payers money being used to subsidise seamen.

  90. 149
    Phelony Millips says:

    I’m outraged at this.

  91. 150
    Anonymous says:

    While there are plenty of people in Scotland who reckon the Scottish Parliament is far from perfect,it certainly seems to show the way with regard to expenses,it took only a few seconds to find the link under and run a search ( I used Windbag-sorry- Wendy Alexander as a test ) detailing stuff right down to the likes of newspaper subs.By comparison Westminster MP s can trough- is it up to £250 or £400 ? – expense claims by the ton without receipts.Truly this country is being f****d over by these people,and while-allegedly-there is supposed to be a full disclosure of MP expenses later this year how much detail will be “lost ” or “not in the national interest ” to release ?

    http://mspallowances.scottish.parliament.uk/MSPAllowances/

  92. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Hubby due to make statement on Sky shortly. tee hee

    • 160
      Onan the Barbarian says:

      I hope he has pulled himself together now, so that he can make a good fist of the interview.

    • 211
      Harm-men Pride says:

      I’m sure he was merely honouring Labour’s election pledge to be “whiter than white”. Or something.

  93. 155
    Anonymous says:

    Sky reporter just said it was a “cock up”

    tee hee again

  94. 156
    Onan the Barbarian says:

    If self abuse is an allowable expense, can I put in a 30 year retrospective claim please?

    This brings a whole new meaning to “cash in hand”

  95. 159
  96. 161
    chronic says:

    That twat draper is on LBC!

  97. 162
    Onan the Barbarian says:

    Masturbation, masturbation, masturbation

  98. 168
    Anonymous says:

    Sky said she claimed for two washing machines and two wide screen TVs and an 88 plug at Redditch home.
    Tinmey just said sorry- useless.

    • 182
      Anonymous says:

      that should be 88p plug – for a sink – sorry. I’m equally as appalled that she watched Ocean’s 13 twice!! She is very low rent (especially at sister’s flat boom boom)

  99. 169
    Rt Hon Harriet Harpy, QC MP says:

    Sex is dirty. It should be only for making babies. Men are horrid.

  100. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Sleaze to the left of us, sleaze to the right of us, Ruin’s end is cumming
    So what is elbeebo Radio 4 focused on this Sunday lunchtime:
    “The Mexican drugs war”
    Wow thanks Brian Hanranhan.

    NO more money for the turds.

  101. 173
    IUnknown says:

    Draper on LBC – sounds like a twat but Andrew Pierce is a bit too chummy.

    • 206
      Plato says:

      Very chummy indeed. Couldn’t stand more than a couple of mins of him talking about paying MPs £100k.

    • 210
      wankers doom says:

      No surprise there. Andrew Pierce used to appear with Toilets McGuire on the politics show that preceded This Week with Andrew Neil. Needless to say they both dissed the Tories on a regular basis.

  102. 174
    Rexel 56 says:

    So, the HUSBAND is going to make a statement in which he apologises to his WIFE.

    Cambpell will be advising on the media management here, so let’s try to spot the element of the story away from which they are trying to draw our attention.

    Might it be that the real story is EMPLOYEE defrauds EMPLOYER by including money spent on personal entertainment in EMPLOYERS business expenses that are subsequently reclaimed from EMPLOYER’s own employer.

    In other words, Plod might have to do a bit of an investigation should there be a complaint received.

  103. 175
    Raving Loon says:

    Where’s my state funded porn? Bloody socialists!

  104. 176
    Rampant Rabbit says:

    I bet Jackboot Jacqui claimed for her vibrator from her parliamentary expenses.

  105. 177
    Bell End says:

    how about apologising to me

    “Dear Tax Payer

    Sorry for wanking your hard earned money up the TV screen

    (it may never have happened if my Wife’s spend more time at home rather than her main residience)

    Yurs Sincerely

    Jaqui Smiths Husband”

    • 232
      Man in the Street says:

      Exactly, the hoon has been spending our money whilst having his fucking cock in his hand. What a dirty bastard. What a fucking idiot, he could have got it off the net for free. Didn’t he learn anything about porn and expenses when he was away in a hotel?

    • 278
      Plato says:

      Mr End, have added this to my blog – thanks for the inspiration.

  106. 178
    Anonymous says:

    spunking our money.no change then!

    was the film ‘gordon and mandy -breaking the back of britain’?

  107. 181
    The reason for MP Expenses says:

    they are only to be wholly necessary, entirely to perform the MPs duties!

    Timney unfortunately read it that they are necessary for him to perform his marital duties!!

    Soapy Titty Wanks alround!

  108. 183
    Anonymous says:

    Dolly’s boasting on the radio about going to ‘America’ and getting his M.A.
    Bless him.

  109. 185
    johnfromcamberley says:

    Just thought I would point out the irony of the parts in the Smith story played by the Sunday Express (owner, R Desmond) and TelevisionX, main provider of soft porn on the Virgin TV network, also owned by R Desmond).

  110. 187
    mr claus says:

    NuLab sleaze = the gift that just keeps on giving.

  111. 189
    Dick Smith says:

    Is Jacqui Smith’s husband a secret Conservative?

    http://www.annaraccoon.com/?p=1359

  112. 190
    Cato says:

    I’d love to be a copper on Jackboot’s protection detail at this moment.

  113. 194
    IUnknown says:

    Draper been given huge amount of time to spout his bollocks – Andrew Pierce needs to reign him in. He still comes across as an arrogant twat though.

    No ones mention his qualifications yet.

    • 204
      chronic says:

      Give it 10 mins and they will be shaging each other.Why no phone in?

    • 248
      IUnknown says:

      Probably because Draper insisted he would (rightly) get so much abuse. They go onto politics later on in the program but mainly ended up with Draper twisting like a reptile to spin the anti-Tory rhetoric.

      Andrew Pierce’s normal anti-Liebour stance was sadly lacking in this hour. No emails or texts read out – sounds like it was just a pro-liebour, Draper book publicity stunt. But as Andrew admintted, Draper didn’t plug hi book so much as try and slag the Tories off.

      You also have to remember that virtually all of LBC’s ads are now government public propaganda messages, suggesting usefull things like not carry our sausages in our luggage etc

      • 267
        Anon.. says:

        I too have noticed that it is mostly my money being spunked up the wall in the form of ads I neither need nor want to hear. If it gets too much I switch channels.

  114. 195
    harpoon says:

    She probably told him what his right hand was for.

  115. 197
    The Hon. Member for Buttkiss says:

    I think we should all send personal invoices to these sleazebags.

  116. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Derek has got his new book signing in Mayfair on the G20 day.

    Fancy twatting him then?

  117. 201
    Nipper says:

    Slightly off topic but why is this government spending a precious £20m of our hard earned tax to fund this stupid G20 event. £20 could have saved Dunlendin’, several repossessions and a few hospital services as well.

  118. 205
    Anonymous says:

    Dolly just justified MP’s expenses that they are like teachers and GPs so it’s actually not alot of money and tried to justify Cohen’s expense disgrace.

  119. 208
    iain, ni says:

    Hard day at the office , dear?

  120. 214
    Anonymous says:

    Labour falling apart on Dunfermline Building Society on Politics Show today.

    On the Uk one Darling basically said people should get their money out

    But the most revealing stuff was on the Scottish opt out.

    The Dunfermline Chairman live on Politics Scotland indicated he hadn’t been told which banks/building societies in running to take over and basically accused Alistair Darling of lying this morning.

    Accused Darling, Brown and Jim Murphy of playing politics.

    And Jim Murphy had to admit that the sub-prime problem was in England and not America. Ooops! Bang goes the excuse that it was all America’s fault.

    Guido. Get on to it when it drops onto iPlayer. Labour have got to cocky in thinking they can brow beat finance guys but have now met their match in the Dunfermline chairman. He lays it on the line and isn’t prepared to be the fall guy for their spin and lies. Basically beeling at what looks like Labour trying to destroy any independently base companies in Scotland.

    • 240
      clochoderic says:

      Seconded – Broon has committed political Hara -Kiri in his own midden.

      Murphy, Darling, Myners and Broon should be arrested the next time they set foot in Scoland.

      This one will run and run …

    • 270
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      I was rather under the impression that it started in Scotchland!

  121. 215
    lexander says:

    Is it possible for these scandles to increase?

  122. 217
    wankers doom says:

    Right Brillo, is this blog obscene enough for you yet? If not, we can always go up a notch to N0. 11.

  123. 218

    I have my own theory about who was actually watching the films.

  124. 220
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Now we know why she liked showing her tits off in the Commons – it was a cry for help.

  125. 224
    view from the bunker next door says:

    Till stamps at dawn ? as Dunfermline Building Society boss hits out at Treasury”faceless mandarins”

  126. 226
    Phelony Millips says:

    Was the hubby looking after the children while viewing porn?

  127. 227
    simon r says:

    hhhmmm – Harman Pride and Ambrose Silk are quiet today, no defense then ?

    • 352

      It’s the weekend, they only get paid for trolling during the week.

    • 420
      Peter Grimes says:

      You have to hope that Hymen Pierced and Silky Arsehole have been moderated out of existence by Guido.

      I have never read such useless propaganda from a bigger pair of prats!

  128. 234
    Nipper says:

    Is she going to be soft on porn, or soft on the causes of porn. What are the titles of the blue movies – are they potentially more embarassing than the snafu itself? I think we should be told.

  129. 236
    Bardirect says:

    Labourwrist?

  130. 237
    gordon brown says:

    Pay per view porn started in America.

  131. 242
    Wa*kee Jacqui says:

    Hard on pr0n, hard on the causes of pr0n.

  132. 244
    Gordon Brown says:

    it wasnae me in the film

  133. 246
    McBellend says:

    “And Jim Murphy had to admit that the sub-prime problem was in England and not America. Ooops! Bang goes the excuse that it was all America’s fault.”

    ….erm…….England?

    It started in Scotland

  134. 247

    I doubt Jacqboots’ hubby will be getting any for a while

  135. 249

    For fuck’s sake.

    Now, I like porn as much as the next man – not *next* to the next man, you understand – but if I’m going to buy it, and not make my own, then… I think I should pay for it. we’re paying for MP’s porn, while they send people to jail for viewing stuff they’ve made themselves. we’re paying for MP’s porn.

    I’m having trouble getting me head around this.

    We pay MPs, they buy porn, and charge it to expenses… Nope. Still not getting this

    They plan to jail people for *drawing* the wrong things…. but we’re paying for their porn.

    Does anyone know why we’re not killing them yet?

    • 254
      Labour spokesman says:

      Its just Richard being Richard.

    • 260
      Katabasis says:

      “Does anyone know why we’re not killing them yet?”

      I began asking this question as soon as they released the ‘Dodgy Dossier’. Thousands and thousands of people killed, at least one nation fractured and ruined for decades, great cost in blood and treasure to our own land. All on the basis of a document plagiarised from the internet. No blame. No resignation. No contrition. I can’t to this day understand how parliament didn’t end up in flames as a result.

      • 271
        FritzWilly says:

        “Does anyone know why we’re not killing them yet?”

        According to my watch, we should have started a few years ago.

  136. 250
    Anonymous says:

    “Just yards from Gordon Browns commons office”. What a violation of the great helmsman this is! An insult to his endless magnificence, the saviour of the world. It’s like fornicating in a cathedral.

  137. 252
    Air Nokia One says:

    ROTFLMAO

    “cometh the hour… cometh the man”

  138. 269
    Mr Nipper says:

    We have been told that Mrs Handbag gave her assistant husband an ‘ear bashing’ for his own – tax payer funded – hand bashing. But what exactly did she say to him?

    “No Dick I said you could use my expenses for the next eLection!”

    PS Did the Handbags also claim for unusually large amounts of man-sized tissue?

    • 275
      anonymous says:

      Forget about the “porn -” the fact is would you would go to the trouble and palava of claiming 88p for a bloody bath plug from B & Q especially when you can get one for 49p from Wilkos.- oh sorry – I see anything under 50p isn’t claimable.

      • 426
        Flange End says:

        Are you sure your heard right, it was a bishop bashing rather to show him the right technique!

      • 431
        iain, ni says:

        I honestly though Iain Dale said 88p butt plug on BBC News24.

  139. 273
  140. 279
    Anonymous says:

    I look fotward to seeing the ian taylor expenses claims amd particularly reading about “Bloody Mary”

  141. 280

    The mind boggles at the expense claim:

    £ 5 – yanking the crank

    £ 7.50 – polishing the rocket

    £ 3.75 – buffing the banana

    £ 8.50 – bopping the baloney

    £ 2.45 – burping the worm

    £ 3.85 – choking the chicken

    £ 4.55 – flute solo

    £ 5.75 – jerkin’the gherkin

    £ 6.75 – pounding the flounder

    £ 23.45 – Kleenex [hotel size]

    £ 56 – carpet shampoo [2 square yards only, the bit between between the Lay-z-boy massage recliner and the screen]

  142. 283
    jacqui fatarse says:

    This has been blown out of all proportion. I am getting on with the job.

  143. 284
    D says:

    And still, Tories are ‘the party of sleaze’!

    I’m too young to remember most of the Thatcher years, did she used to fly from house to house, consuming childrens or something? Why do people allow these morons to get away with anything? Why do people still say ‘Well if we didn’t vote this lot in, the Tories would get in!’?

    • 293
      crux says:

      Mostly she went around saying you couldn’t go on spending other peoples money ad infinitum and having jobs for life on the public teat, which of course pissed off the socialists something rotten.

      • 455
        Hysteria says:

        got that right – we are so fucked if we don’t get a fiscally conservative government back. (I exclude Cameron from this assumption – he’s a social democrat)

  144. 285
    Westsussexboy says:

    I think public money spent on Donkey orgy is well spent

  145. 287

    [...] (1)November 2004 (3) Complete with her five lovely daughters.This story will be covered pretty much everywhere; I have little to add. Suffice to say that I have no objection to Jacqui [...]

  146. 288
    Mike Law says:

    As I’ve stated on Dale’s blog, why the fuck should we pay for any of this stuff?

    Are they such a strange and superior breed that they didn’t have to eat before they became MPs?

    Not content with fucking up the economy, they want to cream off what they can before the gig is up.

    Bastards!

  147. 289
    Simon Cowell says:

    I didn’t realise NuLab were such talented comedians. You’re through to the next round.

  148. 291
    Grex says:

    (After Team America…)

    Dicks wank…..

  149. 292
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t this fraud as well as the usual greediness, and surely ignorance of the claim for the films etc no defense in law?

    And where are the coppers when you want them?????

    She has tried to swindle the taxpayer and should be hung out to dry.

    As for MPs’ wanting an extra £40K to guzzle with instead of allowances – how about a pay CUT seeing as most of us still-employed taxpayers are either getting no pay increase at all or losing pay just to keep the job. A little empathy would go a long way!!!! Besides which, the greed bastards have probably salted enough loot away to pay off everything McButt-Plug has borrowed recently!!!

    Tumbrils approaching….

    • 296
      Arseholes says:

      If Jacqboots were to receive any kind of threat you bet the fucktard would request (and get) legal aid.

      She should be flogged in Parliament Square the bus-faced old whore.

  150. 295
    Grex says:

    Does Ken Clarke ask us to pay for his jazz mags*?

    No!

    * Magazines about the musical style which shares much in common with the blues, I mean. It is widely known that this is his interest, just as watching silicone pumped, waxed ‘actors’ getting it on clearly an interest of Mr. Timney’s.

    Much better he’s doing that and having a quick on off the wrist than doing something really dangerous, like getting his useless hack of a wife re-elected.

  151. 297
    Anonymous says:

    Can someone advise is pounding the Bishop a taxable or non taxable allowance ?
    Regards

  152. 298
    The Washington Post says:

    Wankergate?

    Is depthroat involved?

  153. 299
    Anonymous says:

    and here’s me thinking that complaints of tax payers money being spunked away were just figures of speech….. you couldnt make it up !

  154. 300
    Foreign Office Official says:

    This stuff is all gold dust…you couldn’t make it up if you tried…

  155. 301
    Mitch says:

    At least we can shout “wanker” at her husband without fear of arrest.

    how about we find her address and send a few packs of Kleenex on us no receipt required.They will have little else to do after the election.

  156. 302
    Anonymous says:

    And I thought “Labour wankers” were figures of speech as well !

  157. 303
  158. 304
    Richard Timney says:

    “…….and may I apologise to all concerned for getting caught. I will try to not let it happen again, although it probably will, for despite getting paid over 40 grand PA for aiding my wife, I really don’t know fuck all about this politics shit.

    BTW, may I say that Jacqui Smith is the best Home Secretary we’ve ever had for titwanks, although Charles Clarke ran her a very close second.”

  159. 305
    Linda says:

    It all begins to sound more and more like some third rate soap plot!

  160. 306
    Mr Nipper says:

    I, for one, have had enough of the “we shall govern as New Labour” ‘Carry on Government’ style of politics. Can we have Old Labour back please – even if you did not agree with their policies, at least they talked about real issues and had (in the main) a real passion for democracy and responsibility as many of them had fought (during the war or on the picket lines) for the freedoms and rights we used to enjoy – which this current bunch of freeloaders and hoons are taking from us.
    Anyone that listened to the repeat of the debate entitled ‘The night the government fell (1979), on the Parliament Channel recently, could not help but be reminded of how far Governmental expanations and excuses have fallen from then to its current state. Callahan (hardly the best PM ever) gave an impassioned speech, clearly outlining in detail his government’s achievements and their future policies – There was not a “right thing to do,” “necessary,” “doing the job,” “lessons to be learnt,” “it was the Americans,” “hard working banker’s families,” or any other spun-to-death wrist-flick sound bite to be heard.
    In the spirit of the latest revelations regarding Jackboot Spliff perhaps she could get her ‘assistant’ to play to his strengths and organise a mass-debate on the state of current politics. I realise it would be hard for him and he has a lot on his hands, but I’d like to know what he could come up with.

    • 308
      kenny says:

      “In the spirit of the latest revelations regarding Jackboot Spliff perhaps she could get her ‘assistant’ to play to his strengths and organise a mass-debate on the state of current politics. I realise it would be hard for him and he has a lot on his hands, but I’d like to know what he could come up with.”

      Oooh Matron!

      • 314
        anonybot says:

        Just goes to prove that old political saw -”The Labour Party is full of tossers !”

  161. 307
    Air Nokia One says:

    I wonder if there is a Nokia shop in Chile as I reckon a new one is definetly on the cards somehow.

  162. 310
    The Rt Hon. Geoff Hoon Esq says:

    I know Hubby spliff is a right tosspot but I would like to remind people in case they may have forgoten that along with McFruitbat I still remain a total and utter krunt.

    I would love to see what Hettie Hatemen makes of this one. No… don’t really care.
    Tell you what love make yourself useful and nip out and pop the kettle on petal.

  163. 312

    O, NuLab will pay for their sins, you mark my words…

  164. 313
    bustop says:

    Hey Smith-Timney kids – your mom’s a thief , who doesn’t even live with you, and you dads a wanker. Come on Jacqui do them a favour – resign. you are a public laughing stock.

    • 402
      Sarah says:

      Well, look on the bright side. If they’re proper Labour kids, educated at a state school, they will be functionally illiterate and unable to read the papers, thus the State provides an extra “child protection” service – see how much they care!

  165. 315
    sunday girl says:

    Will all Sundays be like this from now on?

  166. 316
    LABOURWRIST.ORG Where NuLabour minded people come together says:

    Had a look over on labourwrist.org, nothing – although I expect there’s a lot of hand wringing going on behind the scenes.

  167. 317
    Plato says:

    Did anyone notice the story about Lembit’s Daily Sport column being censored by the Commons IT police?

    Perhaps that’s why they need porn subscriptions at home?

    How many others are doing just what Mr J Smith did?

    What a lovely way to round off Flesh Gordon’s week.

    Bless.

  168. 319
    gavyn davies says:

    He would have made a brilliant merchant banker.

  169. 321
    Anonymous says:

    Couldn’t they club together and share files? It would be a lot cheaper for the rest of us!
    Would it be out of order to suggest that Nigel Griffiths’s woman appears to be dress as, ahem, a lady of the night? I’m sure it’s just her dress sense, nothing to imply he’s paid for some office servicing.

    • 339
      Anonymous says:

      Absolutely my friend there has been no evidence presented that this lady was or is a common hooker. It would be wrong to jump to such conclusions with no evidence to back it up, very wrong. Still time yet.

  170. 322
    optional says:

    Smith’s constituency website has a section labelled Jacqui’s Video Library. I didn’t see any porn in it though. Maybe that’s why he has (we have) to pay for it.

  171. 323
    Liam H says:

    What’s the problem with Jacqui’s hubby’s porno purchases?

    1. Jacqui’s no looker.
    2. The film was not made by a quango.
    3. Her husband was probably pleased with what he bought.

    In my humble opinion it’s the only logical and rational use of taxpayers’ money Labour has managed in over a decade.

  172. 324
  173. 325
    Indigo says:

    It’s always called an “inadvertent mistake” when they get caught. I am so sick of greedy, narcissistic, lazy, and above all dishonest NuLabour.

  174. 326
    Raving Loon says:

    This is a global porn…hard wanking families…we have saved the porn, the world’s porn…started in America…

  175. 328
    Dirty Rat says:

    Wanking to porn started in America.

  176. 329
    Half eyed Scottish idiot says:

    We should not be worrying about a little
    thing like Richard Timney’s.

    We should be discussing the big things
    (like Jacqui’s tits)

  177. 330
    Half eyed Scottish idiot says:

    HELP!!!!

  178. 331
    johnny come lately says:

    The letter to all sitting Members of Parliament, who had better soon start to act in the interests of their electors, was sent last Friday and stated the following:

    OPEN LETTER TO ALL MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT

    “VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE”

    Our nation is in desperate straits and our Government is making matters worse by building mountains of public debt and debasing the currency in a futile effort to dig our economy out of an ever-deepening hole. This policy is the equivalent of pouring petrol on a bonfire. If so-called ‘fiscal stimuli’ (immoral borrowing of taxpayers’ funds), and ‘quantitative easing’ (alias excessive money printing), are allowed to continue unabated, we will all be ruined and the damage will be irreparable in this and the next generation. Future generations, yet unborn, may still suffer from this intolerable burden.

    Is this really what you want? You are our elected representatives. You have sworn allegiance to the Crown and thus to uphold the Constitution. You have a Code of Conduct and you are bound by the responsibilities of your trusted position to act always in the best interests of your constituents who elected you and your country that you help to administer.

    Regardless of your party loyalty, especially in this time of crisis, you have a far greater duty and responsibility to your constituents and country. We are therefore calling on you to support a Vote of No Confidence in the present government because it has clearly lost control of the situation and is now careering in totally the wrong direction towards the cliffs of national ruin.

    We urgently need a fresh administration and a fresh course of action. A further year of this mis-governance could spell disaster. The simplest first step would be for banks to separate their assets from their debts in current balance sheets and be responsible for repaying these out of future profits. Borrowing from taxpayers and printing excessive money MUST STOP. Public and non-productive expenditure must be reduced to essentials.

    We cannot afford to wait until 2010 by when the present rapidly worsening economic situation may have descended into physical chaos, violence and insurrection. It is your duty to halt this insanity NOW by calling the Government to account or face the consequences. Your fate and ours lies in your hands and a Vote of No Confidence will help to regain public respect.

    Yours faithfully,

    John Gouriet Julian Heath

  179. 332
    Turkeys NEVEr vote for Xmas says:

    Good letter – but unfortunately the majority of Labour MPs are unlikely to take any notice – they’ve still got 15 months at the trough don’t forget !!!!

  180. 333
    Mitch says:

    She is not a “hands on” Minister then?

  181. 335
    peeved says:

    at least now i understand why noone in government can put their hands up for anything and we have confirmation that Labour party = wankers

  182. 337
    cat o'nine tails says:

    will he apologise for writing bollocks in his local rag?
    will she apologise for trousering ie STEALING fraudulent second home allowance?will she apologise for paying him £40,000 pa?

    a public flogging is now looking very attractive for all of them.

  183. 342
    Anonymous says:

    Darling, while you were away with the sisterhood, I got you a brand new sample for your DNA database.

  184. 343
    CCTVSTAR says:

    The frightening creatures known as rat-kings are a perfect symbol of our rotten government.

    ***

    CCTVSTAR

  185. 344
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone else think that an anti-terrorist police raid would be proportionate at this point.

    Conspiracy to commit misconduct in a public office anyone?

  186. 345

    [...] Guido points to the News of the Screws latest on Nigel Griffiths, who’s been videoing himself shagging his secretary, in his Commons office. Gordon Brown was best man at Griffiths’ wedding. Griffiths at first denied the whole thing and applied for an injunction. The injunction was denied, in the public interest. Of course, the expenses and entitlements aspect is the one with the more hope of doing political damage these days, sadly. Remember that his Remembrance Day Frolic took place in his office paid for by the taxpayers, then went on to presumably his flat, also paid for by the taxpayers.  Far from it being a drunken and forgotten frolic it turns out that he took the deliberate trouble to ensure he would not forget, by uploading the pictures to his laptop – a laptop computer also paid for by the taxpayers out of his parliamentary expenses.  Presumably this would be so he would be able to reminisce over the 27 photos and later he too could enjoy a state subsidised w**k over the memory. [...]

  187. 346
    Aethelred says:

    Indeed. Considering it’s not her main residence, why is she claiming for it at all?

    I think HMRC should be looking at her husband’s benefit-in-kind declarations.

  188. 347
    Plato says:

    Now for the fall-out. What odds would give that Ms Jackboots and Mr Wank are both out of jobs at the GE?

    Here’s Labrokes view – FAB press release title!

    “ALAS SMITH AND GROANS

    HOME Secretary Jacqui Smith is odds on to lose her seat at the next General Election, bookmakers said yesterday (Sun).

    Following boundary changes to her Redditch constituency , the embattled MP currently holds a majority of less than two thousand, the lowest of any cabinet member.

    Ladbrokes had made her Conservative opponents 2/5 to claim a major scalp when the country goes to the polls.

    But they have now shortened their odds to 4/11 and pushed her out from 7/4 to 2/1.

    Spokesman Robin Hutchison said: “Smith was facing stiff competition as it was, but it now looks like the Tories have got it taped.”

    LATEST BETTING

    Next General Election

    Redditch – Seat Winner

    4/11 Conservatives
    2/1 Labour
    100/1 Lib Dems”

    • 376
      Anonymous says:

      ‘Stiff competition’ – I suppose you think that’s clever.

      • 386
        Anonymous says:

        I am sure Richard Tmmey is a fine ‘upstanding’ genteleman. Well, when the fat thieving slag of a wife of his is dossing down at here sisters gaff anyway.

      • 443
        iain, ni says:

        “when I said splash out on a new sofabed…..”

  189. 348
    Aethelred says:

    “Can we have Old Labour back please”

    No.

  190. 349
    Aethelred says:

    Home Secretary: Would you like some wine darling?

    Husband: I’ve already got a little semi on

  191. 350

    But there are no “money shots” on TV as Mr Desmond well knows, You can get ‘em free online.

  192. 351
    • 364
      Anonymous says:

      “The revelation will be an embarrassment to Ms Smith in many ways. Not least the fact that as Briain’s (sic) first woman Home Secretary, she has taken a stance on the sex industry, pledging to introduce tough licensing laws for lap-dancing clubs. She is responsible for regulating the adult entertainment industry.”

      ah so she was having her 40,000/month husband-secretary-wristtwitcher do some research for her lapdancing crusade, well that’s ok then.

      • 388
        Plato says:

        She also wants to ban binge wanking too, no more than 2 small hand-shandies allowed.

        Guess that’s why hubby held a lock-in.

      • 403
        Sarah says:

        And responsible, no doubt, for making it as easy to get a license for a lap-dancing club as a cafe.

  193. 353
    Plato says:

    And here’s the bath plug and other purchases – brass neck doesn’t come near this:

    “Documents submitted to the Commons authorities show Ms Smith has claimed £150,304 for the cost of running a second home since 2001, including fully fitting it out.

    The Sunday Express has seen the documents that show Ms Smith has claimed for virtually every major household item over the past five years, right down to the kitchen sink.

    It was a £550 stone model from Habitat. The minister, who earns £141,866-a-year, even claimed for an 88p bath plug.

    She had already spent £460 on a dining room table, £704 on a sofabed, and £1,000 on an antique fireplace. She claimed for the cost of coal to burn in it.

    Other items included a Hotpoint cooker, at £399 plus £15 connection, a Hotpoint tumble dryer worth £189 and two washing machines in under two years, a £249 Ariston and a Zanussi worth nearly £300.

    Her entertainment centre was to include DVD players, two Samsung widescreen televisions and two digital set-top boxes worth more than £1,100.

    The claims have come to light as work nears completion on a £2million project to publish all MPs’ expenses claims in the past five years, after they lost a three-year legal battle to keep the details secret following Freedom of Information Act requests. “

  194. 354

    Here are the current top titles on Virgin media. Guess which ones Jacqui and hubby paid to watch:

    A touch of pink 2
    Adult XXX: Milf f*ckers
    All Sex: Group sex freaks
    All UK girl-on-girl f*cking
    Beautiful lesbians, naughty sex
    Best of: 100% girl on girl action
    British Dogging 5
    British hotel bitches
    C’m to mamma
    Chubby MILF sex
    Extreme close-up
    Horny City Hospital
    Pimp Mummy
    Seductive MILF sessions

  195. 356
    r supward says:

    im sorry (and now you`ve found out) im paying it back.
    its getting a bit predictable isnt it?
    are there lessons to be learned as well, i wonder?

    • 362
      Anonymous says:

      ….that’ll be tomorrow when she finds she has to spend more time with her family (the real one not the kitchen cupboard at her sister’s dump)

  196. 357
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    What we need is a general erection, now!

    Sorry – meant election. Was day dreaming about watching a porn movie involving the oh so lithe Jacqui, and the equally supple Diane Abbott, getting down to it . . .

  197. 358
    Alan Partridge says:

    It could happen to anyone:

  198. 359
    richie wrist says:

    Is it ‘cos I is a wanker?

  199. 360
    Alan says:

    Not only is she a horrible, rough, doggy old minger, but she persists in flashing her saggy old boobs all the time because she wears low-cut dresses.

    It’s hardly a revelation that the bloke who is married to her prefers porn to her or the boobs (I wouldn’t touch her with yours), so who can blame the poor bloke for preferring porn to the nightmare that is reality?

    The only surprise here is that the taxpayer has to pay for it. Lots of us have ugly wives or husbands, but we don’t have the benefits of taxpayer-funded hand relief to take our minds off it.

  200. 363
    bofl says:

    never in the field of human troughing has so much been stolen by such undeserving talentless c unts!

  201. 365
    they're going down says:

    I hope they make this into a series. It’s way funnier than My fucking Family.

    • 378
      Hugh Jardon says:

      Shitting a hedgehog is funnier than My Family!!!

      • 385
        Sir Dennis Hodge Chairman Playsafe Fire Extinguishers and Appliances says:

        Could it be a re-make of “Terry & June” . You’ll never guess what Terry’s been up to now – Beattie ? He tells me he’s working on a new ejaculation valve for his appliance”

  202. 367
    Kevin Peat says:

    The haughty presumption in the Westminster bubble is that MPs’ and Ministers’ conduct ought to be above that of ordinary people.

    In my experience ‘ordinary’ people’s conduct is usually of a high standard. The presumption in Parliament that it is low is a false one and in ordinary walks of life I have witnessed sackings for much MUCH less than these arrogant spoilt brats get away with.

    If you’re a decent and honest MP then please make it your mission to sort Parliament out – or else blame no-one but yourselves when you continue to be viewed with distaste and distrust.

    In the meantime I’ll stand by my maxim:

    Parliamentary Allowances = Hush Money

    This even extends to wanking funds so long as you turn a blind eye to what’s being done to Britain.

  203. 368
    Platosays says:

    Is it me or are we still on GMT?

  204. 369
    Anonymous says:

    Masters of deception, resourceful, cunning, vein, artful and self serving: that is the business of Labour politicians. Ten years of corruption, squander, waste, vice and incompetence – but always with crafty self preservation. Arrogantly gorging on the contents of the public purse that has become their carpet bag. They are truely detestable.

  205. 371
    J Smith says:

    I could explain but you little people just wouldn’t understand

  206. 375
    john miller says:

    Is Norris McWhirter dead? Is this the first time in the history of the world someone HAS BEEN PAID FOR HAVING A WANK!

  207. 377
    Anonymous says:

    Jacqui Smith is responsible for regulating the adult entertainment industry.
    hahahahahahahhahaha

    • 382
      nipper says:

      Perhaps hubby was doing some research. (You can have that one for free Jacqui)

      • 387
        TSG of the Yard says:

        Could be the first candidate for trials of the new taser by the Home Office which delivers 50,000 volts to the point of contact.

        Sorry Home Secretray but you’re supposed to aim it at his chest not his er appendage!!! Still it seems to have taken the spunk out of him !!!!

  208. 391
    Anonymous says:

    The chinese have a curse:

    “may you live in interesting times”

    Well thanks to Labour we are certainly living in interesting times.

  209. 392
    Plato says:

    I hear that Dan Hannan is being described by the bookies as “the hottest thing in politics since Jacqui Smith’s film collection”.

    LOL

  210. 394

    [...] Guido Fawkes does not think it’s right that Mr Jaqcui Smith should have his w***s paid for by …. I think it’s cheaper than paying his “wife” for not living in other people’s houses. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Oh, and look at this about Gordon Ramsay (posted about yesterday.)David Davis. Ambition unconstrained, tactical thinking… limited!A Poisonous Woman No Longer Able to Distinguish Truth From Lie“I predict that in the future this watch will stop running, yet still tel… [...]

    • 410
      Anonymous says:

      can we pay for her to live with her hubby and thus killing two birds with one stone avoid the second bedsit cost while getting splif to give her own husband a hand job when required.

  211. 395

    Is LabourList.org finally fisted beyond repair?

  212. 396
    Anonymous says:

    http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/241272/Treasury-minister-Lord-Myners-shows-his-pink-knickers-while-dressed-as-a-fairy.html

    this might have been missed in mayhem – death by a 1000 idiots

    (nicked from coffehouse at spectator)

  213. 398

    I’d like to see Jacqboots, her disgusting husband and the whole Labour party dance the Tyburn jig for their crimes against the taxpayer. The time of troughing has come to an end – the revolution is coming soon.

  214. 405
    Sack Smith NOW says:

    http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/Sack-Ms-Smith/

    Not that it will make any difference and anyway the whole Labour party should be chucked out

  215. 406
    Insane Jane says:

    Corrupt, greedy, useless and stupid = The Labour Party.

    Or am I the stupid for paying my taxes to these tossers?

  216. 407
    Anonymous says:

    ANOTHER LABOUR CHAMPAGNE SOCIALIST …..?
    29.03.09, 6:34pm

    Take the Health Service boss earning £210,000 a year who is regularly staying at a top hotel at taxpayers’ expense so she can avoid a drive home from work.

    Dr Barbara Hakin, chief executive of East Midlands Strategic Health Authority, has stayed at the £120-a-night spa hotel 59 times during the past two-and-a-half years. Her costs are picked up by her health authority whenever she chooses not to commute back to the £400,000 home she shares with her husband, also a doctor, in Keighley, West Yorkshire. Dr Hakinacted as the Government’s chief negotiator over the heavily criticised GP contract which was introduced in 2004. The contracts were designed to bring about an improvement in patient care but they have put some family doctors on salaries of £250,000 a year. Dr Hakin, a former GP, has also been criticised for spending £300,000 revamping the authority’s head offices – where she works – while at the same time overseeing cuts to a hospital rebuilding programme in Leicester.

    They are ALL at it … ALL OF THEM.

    Hat Tip to LordHarri Daily express

  217. 412
    chronic says:

    its a classic case of getting your feet under the table,gettiing to cocky,taking your one good eye off the ball,only to find out that every one is fucking you up behind your back.Welcome to the real world.

  218. 413
    Anonymous says:

    This isn’t just any sleaze, this is new labour sleaze.

  219. 414
    Nosebag says:

    Wanking Timney has taken the rap for this. But is there more to this than we have been told. Was Timney acting alone in his choice of evening viewing?
    I think if we had access to all the info it would be shown that Ms Smith has also viewed ‘adult films’ together with Timney. Their only mistake was being rumbled this one time. It was not a one off.

    But clearly, like the Mills-Jowell corrupt behaviour exposure, the deal is that hubby takes the heat.

    • 428
      Ted Bundy says:

      I’ll bet someone at Virgin Media with access to their customer accounts database could tell a few stories about the viewing habits of wanking Timmy and his lovely wifey. I wonder what sites Timmy visits on the net? He really must remember that as a result of his wife’s changes to the law all records of site visits are being kept.

  220. 415
    Beowulff says:

    ‘I think you’ve got it all wrong.

    Jacqui’s explained it. He just made a little mistake. That’s all.

    Gorbals will kiss it better. You’ll see.’

    I wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t totally incompetent as well as venally corrupt

    Socialism = Corruption + Incompetence

  221. 416
    I failed to satisfy the examiners at the Wrist Institute but I'm still a fully qualified wranker now says:

    The Wrist Institute – in Berkeley not at Berkeley

  222. 418
    The Beast says:

    Lets us not forget That McMental charged us all for his Sky Sports subscription.

    All those fit young men in tight shorts running about
    Its his dream come to life
    Now if we could only have a GLOBAL football league
    Blah blah
    Fucking Hoon

  223. 419
    The Beast says:

    I apologise for using the”H ” word

  224. 429
    James Keir Hardie says:

    It saddens me to see the labour party that has brought equality throughout the land by ending slave labour and giving the working man not only the vote but the opportunity for self improvement, that ended poverty in this land and gave us the national health service, that brought education to all so that the masses could flourish, being run by inept scamsters, criminals and outright liars. Tell me my generation didn’t suffer for this? I sweated blood to bring life to the Labour movement not for it to be hijacked by smarmy liars in suits.

  225. 435
    W.W. says:

    It’s getting to the stage that Jonah’s rocking horse escapade is not the most embarrasing ‘esipode’ that happens within Her Majesty’s Government.

    How low can these fuckers possibly go, just when you think they have hit the bottom, out comes the spade and they start digging again.

    What next? One of the photo’d shagging a horse? It wouldn’t altogether surprise me.

    W.W.

  226. 436
    Jacqui Smith’s husband Richard Timney says:

    Just knocked one out. Chalk up another 10 quid to expenses. Zzzzziiip. Ahhhhh.

  227. 437
  228. 438
    Mandy says says:

    Wish I’d been there to watch

  229. 439
    Obvious solution to the problem says:

    She just needs to install CCTV in her living room to act as a deterrant.

  230. 440
    W.W. says:

    Lets see Robbinson put a positive spin on this!

    W.W.

  231. 442
  232. 447
    Smith_Pride says:

    I offered him a good blow job but he blew me out in favour of DIY

  233. 449
    The BBC are vermin says:

    The Times has learnt that MPs are expected to call in the police today over how a copy of an invoice from her Virgin TV and internet account, submitted to the Commons as part of an expenses claim, came to be published in a Sunday newspaper.

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article5999287.ece

  234. 450
    NuLabor - NuPorn says:

    For Jacqui, the love of piling up the cash in dodgy allowances and filling up their bank accounts with money screwed from the taxpayer must be the new sex, she probably comes bucket loads at the thought of all that lovely lolly!

  235. 451
    cat o'nine tails says:

    tyburn or newgate street?

    traitors gate needs refurbishment too……..

    funny how things come around again.

  236. 452
  237. 453

    Follow the Money

    http://wrinkledweasel.blogspot.com/2009/03/follow-money.html

    Watergate it aint, but somewhere there is a mole.

  238. 454
  239. 456
    Mimi says:

    £10 says the film was something of the “barely legal” variety, the twat looks like a total paedo.

  240. 457
    Hang the fuckers says:

    From the Guardian: ‘A close friend of Smith’s said Timney would be “sleeping on the sofa for a while”.’
    That would be two nights a week on the sofa then, since the lying cow claims to spend 5 nights a week in London?

  241. 458
    pigs in space says:

    Steely Dan Classic from 35 years ago, pretty spot on about everything, apart from the shapely bodies

    CHORUS:
    While the poor people sleepin’
    With the shade on the light
    While the poor people sleepin’
    All the stars come out at night
    After closing time
    At the Guernsey Fair
    I detect the El Supremo
    From the room at the top of the stairs
    Well I’ve been around the world
    And I’ve been in the Washington Zoo
    And in all my travels
    As the facts unravel
    I’ve found this to be true

    CHORUS

    They got the house on the corner
    With the rug inside
    They got the booze they need
    All that money can buy
    They got the shapely bods
    They got the Steely Dan T-shirt
    And for the coup-de-gras
    They’re outrageous

    CHORUS

    Show biz kids making movies
    Of themselves you know they
    Don’t give a fuck about anybody else

    CHORUS

  242. 459
    Bruce Kain says:

    Hah, one of the films was ‘The Devil in Miss Jones’, content described as ….

    explicit sex oral,anal,vaginal and handjobs. and there is female masturbation in some sex scenes semen comes out.

    Fuck me, things must be real bad in the Smith household !

  243. 460
    Michael says:

    I’m sure Jaquie gives an excellent blow job.

    She practices by sucking up all the loot she can.

  244. 463
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s remember that MEPs in the last fortnight voted to demand more transparency in European institutions – while also voting to make sure their own expenses are kept secret!

    If anyone thinks that this political class is ever going to do anything to clean up is own act without a clear mandate from voters on exactly that stance, than they’re kidding themselves. http://www.libertas.eu

  245. 464
    Muppet says:

    I always thought Timmney was a wanker…

    Could’ve saved us all a few quid and just put a bag over her head… and body… and earplugs…

    OK, maybe not.

  246. 466
    Gordon Brown says:

    Jacqui Smith has my full confidence.
    Can I just say, the reality is that the films she claimed for were very good and furthermore will be added to Ed Balls’ new compulsory national curriculum in the Small Partypersons’ Indoctrination Centres (formerly known as schools), along with An Inconvenient Truth, to be shown continuously on a loop from now until kingdom come. Amen.

  247. 467

    Ok I admit it…….I was brought up a Catholic.

    I still however think people are missing a very fundamental point about the Jackie Smith ‘porn episode’.

    What sort of people do we have governing us when the main issue raised about this is her claiming the cost of the porn on expenses and not the fact he is watching hardcore pornography in the first place?

    Also how come she is employing him using our money to the tune of £40,000 per year?

    Sodom and Gomorrah has nothing on these people…………

    And our main worry at the depth of their depravity is the price?

    Please.

  248. 468
    Ned says:

    Labours new mantra is not education, education education it is now Masturbation, Masturbation Masturbation

  249. 471
    Adrian P says:

    Who cares, I just want my Kids freedom back, and I don’t want them chipped by Jackboots smith or any one else.

    PS I hear the ID Card has made another step forward, apparently, All Ex Servicemen are to be issued with ID Cards as a way of ensuring they get priority in housing and healthcare.

    See what sneaky bastards they are.

    I’m warning you all, this is where they are taking us, slowly but surely.

    A Microchipped Population

  250. 472
    Anonymous says:

    Now I’m not normally an apologist for the Labour Party, but has anyone considered that it might not have been Jaqui’s husband who ordered the movie, but her eldest lad (or one of his mates)?

  251. 474
    Joe Public says:

    This has been the best weekend for political news for many months.

  252. 475
    I demand a recount says:

    According to the BBC politics website, the most popular story on their website on Sunday was…….

    “Tory party to expel donor Wheeler” !!!!!

    Well, popular with the BBC maybe, in a pro-Labour diversionary tactic sort of way.


Seen Elsewhere

Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph
All Three Parties Mulling Leadership | Staggers
Isn’t George Great | Simon Jenkins


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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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