Friday Caption Competition
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Blimey Hague…thought you’d given up on 14 pints a night!
*Sigh* I’m not even going to try after this one. Well, it made me laugh anyway.
Looking through the so called ‘jokes’ I would reconsider.
Moronic does not even begin to describe it. As per usual.
If only Guidos commentators were half as clever as they think they are then this country would not be in the mess it is.
Bye bye boys
Ok TrevorsDen:
“Dave does a Lee Mack taking off a Cockernee”
With that Dan hannan speech going viral it’s no wonder you’ve turned to drink!
I was told the leader of the Conservatives would be in here later, Marvelous he is, wonderful intelligent guy, seen him on the TV giving Brown a good roasting, can’t wait to shake his hand, yep a real leader, let me know if you see him eh laddo, Dan Hannan is his name!
Trevors Den: calm down, dear, it’s a caption competition that’s all.
So Trevors Den, nothing to do with Gordon, again. Thats allright then
“make sure you get a receipt for these”
“Stop giving it the big ‘un son, I’ve just come here for a quiet pint.”
But you could have brought Lisa Tarbuck with you….Johnny Vaughn
“Alright then, fifty quid, but no telling the animal rights people. It’s not as if he’s a pure breed.”
So you think Draper’s a complete hoon as well ?
Draper accuses rightwing blogger of ageism
So, as I said to Pickes if Harmen takes over before the next election, we can do alot more of this during the election campaign…
MAN: “So I said, no Draper, sorry, but I AM going to have to get the landlord to throw you out. You stink so much you have made my dog throw up!”
DAVE: “Never mind, eh! Have another pint and a Guinness for your dog, is it?”
High time Samantha did her duty and sewed a button on his shirt cuff…
Christ! You’re right – what a tramp!
RAH RAH RAH NORMAL BLOKE RAH RAH RAH FISH AND CHIPS RAH RAH RAH MINERS
RAH RAH RAH
lee says:
March 27, 2009 at 12:38 pm
RAH RAH RAH NORMAL BLOKE RAH RAH RAH FISH AND CHIPS RAH RAH RAH MINERS
Don’t you mean Myners?
“My dog’s name? Harriet….”
Oi, your dog’s just swallowed my cuff button!
Cameron: “The recession is hitting harder than we thought”
Old man: “[sigh] OK, I’ll buy you another pint”
Oh all the pubs in the world, Jacques Chirac had to walk into mine
why does Guido always have to put a black in every Friday picture?
it only encourages his racist posters
No Dave we cannot trash the place later on, your not in the Bulligdon club now. This is the Rose and Crown…
Will you two stop hogging the bar so I can get served.
“… Shall I just let go of this leash and him slobber over Dave?”
“14 pints a day? not worth it if i lose all me hair”
oops this was mine – just in case i win a tshirt.
Your first comment was poor , but your second was hilarious.
Hmm. Not as funny as Leviathan, but a good deal shorter.
No blacks, no dogs and definitely no Labour voters….
Reminds me of the Winchester Club in “minder”
Suppose I should have said something witty – along the lines of I’ve got my bitch where’s yours? But I don’t think I’ll bother.
This is one of only three pubs in the country with a section of Hadrian’s wall running through the saloon bar.
The pub is called ‘Two Anchors and a Dog’
“No spitting, even if Dolly walks in.”
Two drunks enjoy it while they can. Gordon’s booze tax is on its way…
Dave “So who’s this Dan Hannan everyone’s talking about, then?”
This is the only one that made me laugh out loud. It must be the winner
Two drunks, one heart…
Yes, I did buy this pub on my MP’s allowances..Good in it!
Who are Dan Hannan and John Galt anyway?
Meanwhile, O/T but Richard Ingram has just published a short piece on how Gordo will seek to cancel next year’s General Election.
“Come the revolution, who will be there to protect us?
My friend who keeps in close touch with the Army’s top brass tells me that there is talk in the officers’ mess of possible “civil disorder” in Britain with consequent demands on the military to suppress it. With the British Army scattered fighting unwinnable wars, that might be a difficult assignment.
There were similar mutterings in the 1970s when the country was faced with severe economic difficulties as it is now. Several VIPs – not just generals – became convinced that a revolution spearheaded by left-wing trade unionists was a real possibility and there was even talk of mounting a military coup in order to suppress it. “Feebleness has been this country’s undoing,” James Lees-Milne wrote in his diary in January 1974. “No national service, the exultation of godlessness, cynicism, the terrorism unchecked. I think it very possible that there may be fighting within four months.”
There are precious few militant trade unionists these days but there is plenty of cynicism and terrorism, plus a growing awareness that politicians (with the possible exception of Mr Vince Cable) are out of their depth. You can’t rely on the bankers and you certainly can’t trust the police. So if there were to be civil disorder, which is not at all unlikely given the state of things at present, those generals might well start thinking that they could make a better job of keeping things in order than Gordon or Dave.”
Gordo allegedly has one more “Ace” up his sleeve after the inevitable failure of the G20. He’s planning to apologise…well, sort of. No ordinary Mea Culpa this, though. He’s going to apologise for – wait for it – not doing enough to stop that dastardly Miranda. Yes, all this economic mess is actually all TONY’s fault. Gordo tried to warn him, but…
And we all thought we’d have to wait until next June at the earliest for this ugly public spat that will make the Heath/Thatcher rift look like peanuts in comparison. “On with the Three-Minute Hate against former Comrade Blair!”
Can’t wait…
Until June 2010 I meant…
Yes, quite you can alway trust a General. The size of the British army ain’t gonna keep much in order!!!
“With the British Army scattered fighting unwinnable wars, that might be a difficult assignment”
In fact with the British people more or less lawfully disarmed, it would be bloody easy to supress it with a couple of machine guns
Ever wonder why banning handguns was such a priority early on?
I know – the bastards took mine! But never mind – I now have a collection of shotguns and hunting rifles. Bring it on!!!!
The army have no cause to love the Great Leader and in any event, are loyal to her Maj – to whom they swear the oath. Gordo has more to fear from them coming home than leaving them abroad ill-equipped.
Richard Ingram may, worriyngly, be right. There is an awful lot of noise in the media about alleged potential disturbances that might happen. Gordo will take any opportunity to avoid democracy. The signs are very disturbing – especially given his latest interference in the constitution – fixing something that ain’t broke. Well done her Maj, for seeing the Governor – glad his eyebrow still counts for something. For her to take this exceptional step indicates the depth of concern. I wouldn’t be surprised at anything this mendacious, lying, conniving, bent, sleazy, corrupt government do.
That’s what the job lot of tazers are for. 10,000 on order if I remember correctly.
The reason the cock gobbling cyclops is sending yet more troops to fight the Teletubbies is to make sure that there are not enough over here to start a coup.
I’ve just re-painted the wall at the end of the garden and concreted in a rather fetching post. Last cigarette Gordo?
Bring it on!, If Brown tried to do something like this, I will not be cowed by any military coup – if it were ever to happen of course. Somehow I doubt it. I believe the top brass would tell Brown to fuck off!
Exactly why NuLieBor take up so much of my lads time in practising counter revolutionary warfare, with a strong presence in London ready to take out any smuck who thinks he stands a chance! Or Heckler über alles
I don’t see any problem in getting your dog on the electoral register, Mr. Jones….
Well if we use a SPV debt instrument to transfer some real estate to your dog’s name, you theoretically could get him on the register; and earn some cash along the way.
Gettin down with the people. William Hague style…
Dave: ‘This London Pride tastes awful.’
Bloke: ‘Wrong beer. If it’s lifeless, flat and makes you feel sick it’s Harman Pride.’
I know this is a guido in-joke, but that was good!
Talking of whom … where is our trollsome friend today? I could do with a laugh.
Very good..Laughing at Gordon
So that was the deal was it?
They withdraw all their trolls from our side of the lines and Guido puts certain documents into a locked vault with OUCH printed on the outside.
{Open Under Commencement of Hostilities}
I doubt the troll withdraw pact was reciprocal, but then who goes over there anyway?
Behind you!
Tra laa!
Bill,
I doubt there are many from here that even bother going over to Draper’s LabourLost website. There’s more shite over there than at a copraphilia symposium.
FYI Ambrose – when you get the sack after the GE I understand that McDonald’s need staff.
Fries with that?
So this is a pub?
I did hear that they were popular with working folk.
This is a good un!!!!!
Gordon’s doing such a good job of fucking the country up, I’ve decided to have the rest of 2009 off…
Not much call for black tie around here then eh?
The influence of Ken Clarke get the better of Dave who’s become a born again real ale bitch…
DC: “Bugger me, fancy seeing John Reid in here – and I bet David Blunkett thinks he’s excercising his dog for him…”
Cameron: “Err…what name does your friend answer to”?
Dog: “Err…Gordon”
Drink up Drapers here, it’s his round.
Toff on the left saying…
” Politicians, two faced fucks! I won’t know one if I met one..!”
Sup up your beer and collect your fags,
Theres a row going on down near slough,
Get out your mat and pray to the west,
Ill get out mine and pray for myself.
Thought you were smart when you took them on,
But you didnt take a peep in their artillery room,
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest,
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest.
Hello-hurrah – what a nice day – for the eton rifles,
Hello-hurrah – I hope rain stops play – with the eton rifles.
‘….we were no match for their untamed wit
but some of the lads said they’d be back next week’
Classic Paul Weller class war polemic. Depressing as you’ve just reminded me how old I am, remember it the first time round. Good tune tho.
“Ok, two digits every time Brown says “global problem”"
I’ve left my bright green trainers at home tonight. Black shoes are better arnt they grandad?
DC “Did you hear the one with an Brazilian, European and a one eyed Scot?”
Old Chap “ow year that the one where the one eyed Scot gos to the party dressed as superman but no one turns up’?
MAN: Will this tosser just fuck off if I just stare away and scan the bar?
Two pints of cider, ice in the cider.
Withnail and I drinking game starts in Oxfordshire’s own Mother Redcap
Who let Old-Righty in?
So what, this is how you hold a, what did you call it, “pint glass”?
Miner’s strike revival night takes off in full swing…
Does one’s butler replenish this thing called ale, when one is done sipping it?
Two pints of ale and a blind man for the dog please….
Whose is that hand coming out of your pocket
.
Guido,
Shame you’ve given up Draper baiting, OH has a great video of Dolly throwing a wobbler, which I’ve nicked A very angry Dolly.
Original her on OH: A very angry Dolly
.
Classic. I laughed until the tears ran down my trouser legs.
Toff on left.
” Great Political Party. They have been on the ball the last 12 years. Pointing out to Blair and Brown what twats they were following those daft economic policies only gonna lead to to great recession”
Toff on right
“What Party was that?”
What a coincidence, my bitch is called George too!
First time I’ve smiled so far
I’ve never been this northernly before…
Dave finds one of the very few working pubs in the country.he asks when will this one close.
So this is the last pub in Britain is it? I can see why they didn’t catch on.
“I said “I’ve seen your picture on the poster! You’re barred from this pub Darling!”. Then the dog went mad; barking and snapping at him. He turned tail and ran did ol’ Badger!”
“Corr!”
What no pork scratching? Or, is that halal scratchings?
HWatch out I’ll have the PC facists after me…
A pub? My nanny did once tell me about these establishments…
Gosh Winston, I wouldn’t have recognised you without the black dog.
George? No he’s outside having a fag, it’s an Old Etonian thing.
I wouldn’t normally bring him down the pub, but right now there’s a Labour minister squatting in his kennel. The things they do for the second home allowance…
Tell President Obama its a present from Gordon Brown for his daughters. It answers to Draper and like the PM pisses over everything…
Eat the dog!
I am a Bitter man myself !
Really ? I am more a Mild myself
Another pint?
Hang on old boy – I’m just looking for somewhere to pour this dog piss
So I said to Gordon “Did you get a bitter after-taste?” and he said “Nah. Mandy coats it in sugar”.
(dog thinks) “Fuck me, more political bullshit, i’d rather be chasing rabbits…”
The Bullingdon Club on dress down Friday
“Oy Zelda, you aint been seeing that that John Smith’s rep again ‘ave yer?”
How much longer is Blunket going to be in the shitter.
Dave – “Didn’t you use to be John Reid?”
Dolly told me the other day that you can take Captain Pickard to warp speed but you can’t make him drink – well, take a photo, Osbourne and bike it over to Labourlist now.
“and this is how we real Lizard people drink the blood, come on David, down in one “
Use Firefox or Opera.
” No, he’s not mine, I’m minding him for Blunkett – he’s round by the bins, shagging the barmaid.”
“Well done Mr Hannan, great speech – the round’s on me. But you do look a lot younger on YouTube.”
No, Dave, lift it higher…higher… then tip.
Get over to Dale, he’s picking a fight with McBride. Bring the popcorn.
cracking stuff, more like handbags at dawn!
that reply was to someone who can’t see the page properly way up this thread, but was dumped here.
Guido?
Oh, and I’m posting too fast, but this is my first today.
They are interrupted off picture by a stuttering scottish voice…
“E-E-Excuse me gents, can I interest you in some Region 1 DVDs, they’re in mint condition”
Bald Git
“But they are bust”
Scottish Gentleman
“No that started in American”
Bald Git
“Fix em”
Scottish Gentleman
“Okay, but I must take all your savings, fuck your pension and devalue all your shares”
Bald Git
“Thats fine, so that should fix them then?”
Scottish Gentleman
“err, where’s the lavatory…”
Chairman of the Witney Conservatives Parliamentary Candidate Selection Committee thinks: “Should we stick with Dave or field my dog with a blue rosette next time?”
Dave “is that a wet patch forming?”
Old man ” yep, i’ve done a Gordon!”
“Where did you get that fancy blue straw?”
Dog to photographer. “OK, I’ll do it for a boneo and a box of Good Boys. But make sure you’re ready. I’ll only get one chance to bite this bloke in the nuts”.
Bar room bigot auditions
Cameron: “That Gordon Brown’s a right turd”
Old Fellow: “I agree, and he’s a bloody bumboy, to boot”
Two pints of cider please, ice in the cider.
Withnail and I drinking game begins in Oxfordshire’s own Mother Redcap.
We’re lucky we found this pub, New Labour have forced all the other ones to close.
Cameron: “It’s nice and quiet in here”
Old boy “Not like the Westminster Arms where Draper’s shouting his mouth off, pissing on the floor, and vomiting over the barmaid”
‘No the mutt’s not mine fella, it belongs to one of yours. You know, that one-eyed scotch idiot’. ‘He said he needed a quick Jimmy.
‘I said, well you’ve already slashed the economy up the wall sunshine, be my guest!’
AH (C)
I’ve seen my hair future, and it’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaald.
A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, “Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed.”
The man says, “But this is a special dog — he talks!”
“Yeah, right,” says the bartender. “Now get out of here before I throw you out.”
“No, wait,” says the man. “I’ll prove it.” He turns to the dog and asks, “What do you normally find on top of a house?”
“Roof!” says the dog, wagging his tail.
“Listen, pal…” says the bartender.
“Wait,” says the man, “I’ll ask another question.” He turns to the dog again and asks, “What’s the opposite of soft?”
“Ruff!” exclaims the dog.
“Quit wasting my time and get out of here,” says the bartender.
“One more chance,” pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, “Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?”
“Ruth!” barked the dog.
“Okay, that’s it!” says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.
Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, “Maybe I should have said Joe Dimaggio?”
Ha ha ha Anon fgr…
A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:
“Talking Dog For Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
“Well that’s fantastic, what’s your story?”
The Labrador looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.”
“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters & listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.
Are you old enough to be in here? You haven’t started shaving yet!
Hello, my name’s Dave and I’m a cockney!
Piss off wanker, or I’ll set the dog on ya.
Look, it’s IRN BRU on the left, RIBENA on the Right
or “i see another townie has moved into the village. That bloody Krusty cow – wish she would eat ‘er ‘at and fuc off”
Sausages….!
…funny, thats all my dog can say, as well
Happy Hour at Madame Tussaud’s?
“It’s called a ‘ladyboys’”
Older Gent watching Hannan on the telly: “Dave, I said you were pointless not pintless so feel free to get down with another local.”
In the 60s a pint cost just 9d. That 4p in today’s money. Of course there was a Tory government in power then.
…but of course I was only earning £4 2s 4d
Man on left..
” I hear the Government are going to collect all the info and messages we put on Facebook, Bebo and MySpace? Funny there would have been a riot in my day if the Government opened all our Royal Mail…!!
Man on right
“War on Terror”
Man on left..
“Yeah, okay, we never had any wars”
http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article5973731.ece
David Cameron to Peter Kenyon with guide dog at the opening of Roman Abramovich’s new Olde English pub venture: ‘I say, any chance of getting a bung from Roman ? George tried tapping up Deripaska but just ended up getting buggered by Mandelson’.
Incomer to Yokel “i say, I didn’t know dogs were allowed in here”
Yokel avoiding Incomer ” another fucking townie telling us what to do, why don’t they all just fuck off”
DC to bored bald bloke:
“Have you seen Blunkett?
“… he dont get out much since he lost his dog…!!”
Sup your beer young man and I might let you suck my Werthers Original
Pub Bore says…
” What do you hope to achieve after the next election?”
Other Guy says…
“Not much, still take the dog out for a walk, I guess.”
….. and should I keep my little finger in like this ….. is this ok ?
Nothing to do with the caption but you might want to see this:
and go forward to 1:15.
… started in American !!! Dont you lot EVER FUCKING listen…!!!!!
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
Dog thinks:
Bugger me, what a couple of Onanists!
Whats your dogs name?
Porky!
Is he called Porky cos he’s so fat?
No, he’s called Porky cos he fucks pigs!
I’ll have some of that! At least his willy isn’t green….
tititise
tittise
titties
Good God Blunkett, engagement’s doing you no favours is it? Imagine what you’ll look like after the nuptuals. I’ll just have a coke thanks…
Isn’t this the bar that young B’Stard used to drink in ?
tit ties
Is the dog saying:
“Fuck! Where’s Blunkett?”
“I remember the days when you could have a fag with your pint.”
William I told you that you’d end up looking like an old man if you insisted on drinking ten pints a day!
So your blue collar dog is on the postal register to vote… New Labour by any chance?
This picture was in our local paper (Oxford Mail ) it is a shame you cropped it because if I remember Dave is sitting with a sign for the toilets behind him, also I wish I could remember the name of the actual pub because it was something dodgy like The Tits arms (how appropriate).
Two comments numbered 149? Time for an upgrade Mr Fawkes.
Actually it started in Scotland, and boy do we wish it had stayed there.
Thats Okay then, we only fuck the people…
Cameron began to regret telling villagers at last year’s Witney Summer Fete to pop in to see the new bar he’d had installed and have a free pint anytime they were passing his constituency home
After this pissup we can score some coke off George Osborne.
“Make this one last – we can’t afford another pint anymore”
“Are you drinking what we are drinking”….
Even with Chemotherapy, Blunkett could tell he was in the presence of a complete turd
Call me Dave says…
“How long have you been calling this Beer…. instead of Ale?”
Old Guy….
“It started in America”
“Why does talking with you spoil the taste of bitter?”
If I’d known dogs were allowed I’d have invited ……
Take your pick, dear reader.
The Dog: ” Typical – the dog always gets the blame !”
Cameron?
You can’t believe every thing he says – he told me he was nipping out for a pint with Winson Churchill !
Come here often?
not any more …
Dave: Where did you get your monkey?
Man: That’s not a monkey, it’s a dog
Dave: I was talking to the dog
“Does Your Dog Bite?”
“Nooooo…”
Grrrrr….wooofff….grrrrrrrrrrrrr…..aaaargghhhh!
“I thought you said your dog did not bite!”
“It is not my Dog!”
As it’s another new day, well half gone now..where’s wally…oops sorry Gordo. Has he left the Brazilian’s alone, poor fuckers half their rain forest gone and up pops the spiv salesman with his empty suitcase and empty ideas preaching them about a global crisis. Where’s he going next on his world saving tour? Methinks North Korea might be a good place for him to stay…for a fucking long time.
I was told I had two hopes to lead the nation out of recession … no hope and Bob Hope .
As it turns out , Bob here has been most helpful .
As it turns out , after speaking with Bob , I can safely say that they were wrong
Cameron gets his name down early for the Oxfordshire Rod Steiger Look-a-Likes club. (Subsidised bar you know)
“And if I wasn’t such a spineless, useless sod, you would be able to look forward to a fag with your pint as well after we win the election.”
“Have you heard about that nutter Alastair Campbell? They’re taking him off for another stint in the madhouse to try to stop him posting crap jokes on the blogosphere.”
“Poor psycho. Mind you anyone who works with Derek Draper usually ends up in a straightjacket.”
“Jesus Monty, Buy British n all that…..but this beer’s shite, don’t they sell Special Brew here?
‘If only Guidos commentators were half as clever as they think they are then this country would not be in the mess it is.’
I had no idea the current cabinet were posting here in disguise . You can’t blame them for choosing a blog that people actually read though , instead of the labourlist.con
Politician on the right:
” The beer’s rather expensive here don’t you think? I normally drink in the Palace of Westminster where we have 26 bars, you can get a drink any time of day or night and its 3p a subsidised pint.
Ordinary bloke on the left:
“get ‘im Rover –”
Dave auditions for Spandau Ballet Tribute Band. “You’ve got the hair” advises celebrity brewer Hadley “but the dog says your voice is ruff”.
Old guy: “So let’s have a look at the photo of Gordon Brown dressed in a nappy, sucking a toffee apple, and riding on a rocking horse.”
Cameron: “No bloody chance. We’re saving that for the election campaign.”
“Just a couple more shots, look natural and then we can go” “Landlord the punters can come back inside in just a jiffy, the fiver’s on the bar”
So Mr. Gibson, what do they call your son’s dog.
“Nooo it’s not the dog or the barmaid who has farted. That just leaves you and me.”
Old man: When are the hookers and cocaine arriving?
Cam: I’ll give Gideon a call after I finish this.
DC: have you seen David Blunkett?
Man: No…
DC: that makes two of you then
local : No love , I ordered a Rite FLanker …
oops … anonymous me
You’re right my dear fellow.
I do look like a complete Hunt holding a pint, trying to look like a prole.
Fuck the commoners, I’m the fucking leader of the fucking Conservative party. Where’s the coke?
LABOUR LOSE THE WILL TO LIVE: GOVERNMENT LOSES VOTE ON SKILLS BILL
*
LABOUR LOSE THE WILL TO LIVE: GOVERNMENT LOSES VOTE ON SKILLS BILL
*
LABOUR LOSE THE WILL TO LIVE: GOVERNMENT LOSES VOTE ON SKILLS BILL
*
I normally have Bishops Finger, but he’s not in tonight.
Cameron : I think your Dog’s Bollocks has spilt over my shoes
Local : Good Boy
Cameron: That hoon Hannan has gone and pissed in my beer.
“Tuck your shirt in boy”
Local : Did you spill my Dog’s Bollocks !
Cameron: Who do you think I am ? … Peter Mandelson ?
Shit! I asked for Castle Eden and all they’ve given me is bloody Cameron’s Strongarm. Reminds me of that twat in parliament – whas-his-name?
Call me Dave ” Oh come on stay for another drink”
Man in Pub ” Im sorry I cant the last train is in 15 Minutes ”
Call me Dave ” Last Train ?…why dont you just get a second home nearer the
pub and save paying the fare….works for all of us ! “
and Bill this piss sodden Scotch tosser that threw his Nokia at the wall didn’t have one eye did he??????
Jade! I thought you were dead.
So Mr. McNulty when did your son last stay the night in your house. By the way the bar is a bit chavvy for your front room.
Mr McNulty :- Don’t talk to me about Tony he’s a right crook. Said he would get me a 60″ inch plasma. ipod, Dyson, Rolex and a new Sony Vaio on expenses but all I got was this crappy bar. Still his pad is nice with all the above.
Call me Dave to barman: why do people keep coming in from the other bar and lifting the dogs tail?
Barman; Someone told them there was a labrador in here with two arseholes!
Nice drop of beer, I will have to cut the tax on beer when I become PM.
Dog: FAT CHANCE
That dog’s seen more troubles than Derek Draper’s wife.
‘So old man what is the name of your dog?’
‘Ni**er’
‘CUT’
Jersey or Belize or Monaco?
Two lefties in a bar.
Call me Dave: “I say, do you working folk still eat tripe?”
Honestly! I’m not Tony Blair!
Churchill was always going on about his black dog and i want to get one before it enters the whitehouse