March 25th, 2009

Le Totty Watch : Meet Sarkozy’s New Minister

Sarkozy certainly knows how to pick his women. Caribbean-born Christine Kelly, 39, is is to become minister for overseas territories.

The Mail quotes a source as saying “Mr Sarkozy is hugely impressed that she is not only attractive, but in touch with the modern world… Christine has a huge fan base thanks to her regular appearances in the media, and will be a massive asset.”

She certainly has great assets.


  1. 1
    Carlos says:

    And we get the likes of Jackboots Jackie? It ain’t fair, is it?

  2. 2
    Sir Mark of Mardellshire says:

    Excellent qualifications!

    In other news, Daniel Hannan gives the greatest speech during King Gordon’s visit to Brussels. It is being completely ignored by the BBC.

    Mark Mardell’s blog is awash with reference comments – eventually they stopped the comments.

  3. 3

    Hmmm…that is a seriously inviting pair of twins, a man could easily get lost in there.

  4. 4
    Swiss Bob says:

    Phew, what a scorcher. She could certainly minister to me.

  5. 5
    Curly says:

    French and tits in the same sentence – sounds reasonable to me.

  6. 6
    Budgie says:

    39? Looks more like 42 to me.

  7. 7
    Harman_Pride says:

    Your sexist, anti-feminist, degrading portrayal of women is extremely offensive and out of place in 21st Century Britain where women are fighting for equality based on their abilities.

    Keep it up – you are once again proving that you are the reactionary Nasty Party. Labour are the true progressives, we are fighting to achieve 50/50 gender balance in Parliament with women-only shortlists and female empowerment programmes. What are the Tories doing?

    “Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:


    How about a little photo spread to remind us of French good taste and contrast France’s lady politicians with our own?
    Dati, Kelly and others vs dinnerlady Jaqui, Margaret ‘screaming skull’ Beckett, Harperson etc.

    Female Ministers tend to be useless but at least in France they are easy on the eye while being useless.

  9. 9
    anony amongus says:

    As me old mate the wrinkly prune would headline:

    Phew what a scorcher!

    and his readers would be distracted forever from the actions of the most corrupt government we have ever had.

  10. 10
    vlad the pimp says:

    Milk, no sugar thanks love.

  11. 11
    Harman_Pride says:

    Go back to your cave you sexist male chauvinist pig. Your comments are very offensive to womyn – did you miss Equal Opportunities training? I suppose they didn’t have that back in the 30s when you went to school, LOL

  12. 12
    Garry the Blogger says:

    Hey, you sound cute. What are you wearing?

  13. 13
    Edmund Feurie says:

    I remember taking this photograph when I was a press photographer twenty years ago. She does look a little different now.

  14. 14
  15. 15

    Do you even know any womyn in real life? If any man tried that on me I’d punch him in the jaw.

  16. 16
    Swiss Bob says:

    This must be irony, no one hates the opposite sex as much as Harmen, unless of course they are disabled, or black, or transgender, the raving loony, and you too Mz.

  17. 17
    vlad the pimp says:

    For somebody born in the French Caribbean she’s looking decidedly sun-burned. I have to say I regularly visit the Overseas departement of Guadeloupe, more specifically St Barths, and I am here to assure you that never in all my life have I felt more like walking down the beach punching the air and shouting ‘Yes!!!!’. Only my wife would probably get cross. The wall-to-wall topless 20-something babe-fest makes me want to weep with happiness.

    Air France currently doing flights for two adults and two kids for the October break from Paris for 1500 quid the lot (airport code PTP, Pointe a Pitre). Flights up to St Barths with Air Caraibes about 100 quid each extra. Airport code SBH. See y’all there.

  18. 18
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Have you had a shave this morning?

  19. 19
    Wind O'Liquor says:

    What are you doing out of the kitchen?

  20. 20

    Edwina Curry, one boiled egg, John Major sorted…

  21. 21
    the laughing frenchman says:

    “not only attractive…”


  22. 22
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Does she give French lessons?

  23. 23

    Harriet Harman was elected Deputy PM, beating 5 men in the process – so whatever you and your deluded male chauvinist womyn-haters think, the electorate clearly disagrees.

  24. 24
    Gordon F Brown (your Glorious (and Courageous) Leader) says:

    I don’t see what the fuss is about

  25. 25
    Wind O'Liquor says:

    “Womyn”? (Snorts with laughter)

    Is this blog turning into Pseud’s Corner?

  26. 26
    I've Shagged Darling's Eyebrows says:

    I’m sure I shagged you one night in Manchester at the Lab Conf after a fringe meeting.

  27. 27
    simon r says:

    Yes Labour certainly are doing their best to get more women into Parliament – just ask Nigel Griffiths

  28. 28
    simon r says:

    haha – Gene Hunt is alive and well !

  29. 29
    vlad the pimp says:

    I don’t recall the electorate being consulted on Harman’s elevation to deputy leader. Much like Brown being made PM in fact. However, as Margaret Becket found on the death of John Smith it don’t mean spit. It certainly don’t make you PM-in-waiting. Ask Beckett. As Prescott.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Gotta love the BBC!

    Concerned by the growing awareness of the reality of the situation – they change the reality…

    Another bunch of fuckwits living in a bubble.
    The move to Salford will come as a very nasty surprise.

  31. 31
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Yvette Cooper & Caroline Flint are worth a go on tho…

  32. 32
    Swiss Bob says:

    I think you’ll find the ‘electorate’ are as likely to vote for her as they are to vote for any other clueless idiot in the present Government come the next election. In the party election for Deputy Leader her main contender was Hain, a crook, it would have been hard to lose. Try typing without the spittle on the keyboard, you might make some sense.

  33. 33
    vlad the pimp says:

    Harman blah is a Draper plant to generate some ‘Only yesterday your blog was filled with sexist so-called humour blah blah….’ soundbites for his one-on-one with our host tomorrow.

    Seems a shame to disappoint him in his transparent attempt to ‘drive the media narrative’.

    Oh, and Gordon Brown is a fucking imbecile.

  34. 34
    vlad the pimp says:

    Hahahahahahaha. Ahahahahaha.

    Very good. Thank you.

  35. 35

    “Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton

    Therefore Charlotte Witton is sexist.


  36. 36
    vlad the pimp says:

    Offensive to women are they? ‘Gosh, she looks like a babe I would love to pool my DNA with hers’ is offensive is it?

    Talk me through your mating ritual and the thought processes in your head so that I can better understand how you choose a mate.

    Cos I care. No, really. I do.

  37. 37
    simon r says:

    Harman Pride…

    ‘Harriet Harman was elected Deputy PM, beating 5 men in the process – so whatever you and your deluded male chauvinist womyn-haters think, the electorate clearly disagrees.’

    You dumbass – she was elected only by Labour members not by the electorate, and she only got the job because they wanted the better qualified ( in their eyes ) Alan Johnson kept out of it.

    Now go and finish the washing up before Ruth Kelly comes over to have her moustache bleached.

  38. 38
    iain, NI says:

    Its not French news Christine, is it?

  39. 39
    anony amongus says:

    And you’ve never been to school! It’s wimmin

    Why would you be proud of Harman, she’s an umbrella thief!

  40. 40
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Maybe we could do a deal with Nicolas and swap her for Mad Hattie!

  41. 41

    Finished the housework already?

  42. 42

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing, you’ve told her twice already.

  43. 43
    youdontknowme says:

    Strangley whitened picture. She doesn’t normally look like that.

    Lucky woman. Guadeloupe has been having a general strike for well over a month.
    Have you been recently? The place looks like its in a right state.

  44. 44
    THE BEAST says:

    And McMental chose Lord(hahahah) Fondlesthebums of Boys,
    Nick BrownHatter and Chris Bryant as his cohorts.
    I wonder why.

  45. 45
    Foreign Office Official says:

    She ain’t a patch on Hazel Blears…bet she can’t talk and nod at the same time!

  46. 46

    I know self-defense, I’d give you a black eye if I ever met you!

  47. 47
    Sarah says:

    Speaking as a woman, wimmin, wombyn, whatever…
    Is it something English which turns high-achieving women into sexless, badly-dressed trolls? Can Jacqui Smith really not get to the gym/stop eating pies? Harperson needs the same. Beckett? Surgery. Kelly? Diet, hairdo, skincare regime, and some clothes which don’t look like lesbian geography teacher cast-offs.
    Blears – well, I don’t think either science, robotics, or culture has evolved enough to do anything useful with her.
    Oona King was the only even vaguely attractive MP, but tainted by being an idiot.

    When they’re putting minority shortlists together, why is there not a special provision for “very attractive”. I don’t just mean pretty girls with good racks (though this is clearly important), why are there no Hugh Jackman-alikes in Parliament too?
    Labour claim to be “progressive” but while they actively discriminate against “hot chicks” (and guys) they will never have my vote!

    Vote for beauty! ‘cos Beauty is Truth

  48. 48
    Woman on a Raft says:

    Since she is Minister for Overseas Territories there’s a chance she might.

  49. 49
    THE BEAST says:

    Sarah maybe you could post some photos of yourself norks out?
    Some “pink” shots would also be welcome.

  50. 50
    vlad the pimp says:

    Naaah. Generally go in the October half-term for a couple of weeks. Warm. Cheap flights (used to live in fucking Scotland and since nobody wants to go there you always end up transitting someplace anyway – might as well be Paris as LHR).

    Caribbean. No yanks. Cheap rum. Outstanding eye-candy (not Guadeloupe itself – typical middle-aged fat French women and their bovine husbands) but St Barths? Grand pussy central. Wish I’d discovered it twenty years earlier back when my employer used to fly me from my (self-proclaimed) home base to my workplace at their expense.

  51. 51
    Laughing at Gordon says:

    What are ‘womyn’? This new and stunningly pathetic Harman Pride troll is even more illiterate than one of the halfwits that posts under the Ambrose Silk name. Dolly’s staff are a sad indictment of falling educational standards in Labour’s Britain.

  52. 52
    Woman on a Raft says:

    Cock teaser.

  53. 53
    Sarkozy says:

    I am a big nosed communist!

  54. 54
    vlad the pimp says:

    It is because they are sexless, badly dressed trolls that they throw themselves into their work in lieu of having a normal sexual relationship. Going out, staying in, putting on make-up. Those kind of time-wasting distractions. Did you see the cut of the ex-Labour-MP bag-lady who was convicted of being a potty mouth this week? And this was one that was allegedly concerned about her self image. She looked like that fucking transvestite potter that won the Turner prize. And a potty-mouthed bag lady to boot.

    This devotion to fuckwittery means that they ascend through the Labour pond-scum like a knife through butter since anybody with even a passing semblence of a work-ethic and an IQ greater than a jellyfish stands head-and-shoulders above their fuckwitted peer group in the Labour party.

    I mean look at the kind of imbecile they made ‘speaker’. In what fucking rational world would anybody vote that comedian into any position of authority. Really. But compared to the rest of the parliamentary Labour party I have no doubt at all that he is indeed in the top 10% of their brain trust.

  55. 55
    King Gordon of the Brown says:

    Hey you are a spoof.

    If you were a wo-man and really hit a man he’d defend himself – and you would learn to moderate your behaviour.

    meanwhile I support all wo-men to not wear a bra – up to a B cup. Bra-less C cup can only be done up to age 23. Half cup gives the better effect

  56. 56
    Gladstone Screwer says:

    You’ve made me spit my coffee over the desk…quality comment!

  57. 57
    Cicero says:

    I don’t recall the Labour party having a woman leader. You must have really loved Thatcher.

  58. 58
    Sarah says:

    Much as I admire your online presence Beast (it’s so …..huge), I’m afraid Mr. Husband would have a definite opinions about other men ogling my rack, which he now regards as his own property (so quaint!).

    @vlad – you are a veritable fucking poet!

  59. 59
    Chris Paul says:

    Overseas territories? Or international affairs? Which is what Clegg or Campbell made Featherstone I seem to recall..

  60. 60
    anon says:

    Wonder what Carla thinks of her?

  61. 61
    Clueless and Innocent says:

    “Yvette Cooper & Caroline Flint are worth a go on tho…”

    Oh God! Are you serious?

    Two nastier, humourless, hard-faced bitches you couldn’t conjure.

    I’d rather take my chances with a Manchester crack whore than either of those.


    p.s. What’s all this “you are posting comments too quickly” bollox? I haven’t posted here for days!

    Fix the site Guido!

  62. 62
    Martin says:

    Why is it we get stuck with fat old dykes like Harman, 5 bellies smiff, Dawn Primero or whatever her name is and that ugly cow that was on Newsnight last night?

  63. 63
    Budgie's Ha Ha Manpride says:

    At the same time as what?

  64. 64
    davidc says:

    i think this should read ‘trying to get into more women in parliament’.

  65. 65
    ron vibentrop says:

    Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
    I’ll sit on your fance and tell you I love you too
    I love to hear you oralize
    When I’m between your thighs
    You blow me away

    Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
    I’ll sit on your face and then I’ll love you truly
    Life can be fine if we both sixty nine
    If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
    And play till we’re blown away

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone know what her legs are like?

    (Sorry, Harman. You can tell us what your legs are like if you’re feeling neglected.)

  67. 67
    Luvely jubbly says:

    Is this the same Christine?

  68. 68
    Archie says:

    I’d really like to ascertain her fan base!

  69. 69
    Gladstone Screwer says:

    I would really love to ‘motorboat’ her puppies!!!!

    I’m such a sexist heterosexual white male, and English too…I will surely burn in hell, according to ZaNuLiebour wimmin!!

  70. 70
    Allo Allo says:

    New hope. At least politics in this county isn’t f****d like it is in France.

  71. 71

    I have an idea that Sarkyb’stard will come a right cropper one of these days…

  72. 72
    Colin says:

    The Mail quotes a source as saying…….

    hugely impressed …..

    Christine has a huge ………..

    will be a massive ………

    Hmmmmmmmmmm Freudian?

  73. 73
    The Window-lickers of Old London Town says:

    Nope. This is.

  74. 74
    Dave H. says:

    Is this a joke?

    “.. women are fighting for equality based on their abilities.”

    followed by

    “we are fighting to achieve 50/50 gender balance in Parliament with women-only shortlists and female empowerment programmes.”

    So the only way to achieve 50/50 is for women to have extra assistance and an absence of male competition? It doesn’t show much faith in the ‘abilities’. You must have an extradinarily low opinion of women.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Make my meals, you sexist pig.

  76. 76

    I forgot people like your commentators still existed outside of the Daily Mail and Have Your Say. Cue Benny Hill theme tune.

  77. 77
    Cap'n Silver says:

    Pieces of arse! Pierces of arse!

  78. 78
    Archie says:

    What colour are you knickers today?

  79. 79

    […] The rest is here:  Le Totty Watch : Meet Sarkozy’s New Minister – Guy Fawkes' blog […]

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