March 20th, 2009

Friday Caption Contest

psycho-shriti-sarko


322 Comments

  1. 1
    oliver says:

    Ah get zat man avay from me – eee is cursed!

    • 42
      Derek says:

      Gordo: “I’ve a plan to save the world”

      Sarko: “The last man who had such a plan insisted we greet him like this”

    • 116
    • 120
      The person back from a meeting with shred of paper in hand saying 'Peace in our time" says:

      Iran on Friday welcomed US President Barack Obama’s olive branch to Tehran but urged him to take concrete steps to repair mistakes that have frozen ties between the two nations for three decades.

      Err what fucking mistakes? Beware ………be very very aware.

      • 129

        Mmmmm…..

        Well, they could be talking about the CIA plot to unseat the elected Mossadegh and replace him with autocratic monarchy (how would you like that) or possibly us giving Saddam Hussein intelligence, money and the benefit of a naval blockade after he attacked them, resulting in over 1 million casualties including attacks on cities including 520 scud attacks (terrorism much) or the fact that the USS Vincennes shot down civilian airliner Iran Air Flight 655 resulting in 290 innocent deaths, (imagine a July 7 bombing for 6 days straight) or the fact that Saddam did use WMD against Iran.

        Maybe those mistakes?

        Learn your history before talking.

        See you next Tuesday.

    • 130
      spud says:

      cock

      • 176
        The person back from a meeting with shred of paper in hand saying 'Peace in our time" says:

        Ahh as always selected statements to support a worthless cause. Of course the other guys (Iran) have never done anything whatsoever to bring this apon themselves. Ohhhhh no they are pure as the driven so to speak as we all totally FUCKING know they are INNOCENT.

        Have you worked there? No well I have

        You sir are an absolute twat and I suggest you get your head out of your arse and look yourself at history not your warped one sided fucking verison of it.

        Jeez no wonder we have fucking wars with twats like you around.

        FUCK OFF

  2. 2
    So17 says:

    Talk to the hand, cause the face is not listening.

  3. 3
    Non-Sassenach says:

    “We took the Reich decisions to help the Economy”

  4. 4
    councilhousetory says:

    Sarkozy: Gordon, he zaved ze world.

    Everyone: hahaha

  5. 5
    vlad the pimp says:

    Heil Brown. Heil Brown. Heil Brown.

  6. 6
    vlad the pimp says:

    Ein Reich. Ein Volk. Ein Fuhrer.

    Heil Brown. Heil Brown. Heil Brown.

  7. 7
    aproposofwhat says:

    Sarko: Move away from the buffet, you troughing Hoons

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Sarkosy…

    “…and only the kaiser, the fuhrer and now Herr Brown have ever caused the Motor Show to be cancelled – Zeig Heil!”

  9. 9
    Gordon McSaviour says:

    You may think it’s funny but I really hope it’s not that bloody fondue stuff again.

  10. 10

    Credit crunch? What credit crunch?

  11. 11
    Accidental Irishman says:

    Two Irishmen in a graveyard and one says to the other – that fella was really old when he died.

    How Old?

    179

    What was his name?

    Miles – from London

  12. 12

    No Gordon – vous ete une numpty – we are not going to salute you when Obama arrives.

  13. 13
    bergen says:

    Have we the deep-fried Mars bars for Mr Brown?

  14. 14
    Jonathan says:

    Gordon Brown, the known after diner speaker and part time PM tells the old one I say, I say, my banks got no money, brings his colleagues to hysterics.

  15. 15
    vlad the pimp says:

    Politicians practice movements for ‘Strip the Willow’. Or the ‘Gay Gordons’.

  16. 16
    Tiberius says:

    “La rive gauche is zat side, you ignorant rosbif!”

  17. 17
    Taxfodder says:

    When the level of bullshit from Gordon reaches this high, those not drowned stand on the chairs ok?

  18. 18
    Nicolas Sarkozy says:

    What I said was: yes that wanker over there, its his fault

  19. 19
    Invicta says:

    I am not joking mes amis, Brown’s head is zis far up his own derriere

  20. 20
    Thatsnews says:

    Herr Brown’s twin proposals of a 30 second Son of the Manse silence to pray for the poor and his call for renewed fiscal stimulus –based on his Mugabrownian Financial And Recessionary Target Strategy (or M’FARTS, as it is otherwise known) receives the measured and timely response that it so richly deserves.

    • 98
      toby says:

      That, is, fantastic.

      Mugabrownian Financial And Recessionary Target Strategy

      M’FARTS

      Brilliant!

      yes, I have a childish python-esque sense of humor …sue me

      • 241

        Thanks Toby!

        And as Mr Brown said at a recent Cabinet meeting: “Och, folks! When the other world leaders get a sniff of M’FARTS, there’ll be nae stoppin’ me!”

  21. 21
    Swiss Bob says:

    Allons, we will divide the British and Prussian armies like zis and the world will be MINE!

    Stanislav stands for Parliament: PRESS RELEASE

  22. 22
    Dirty Rat says:

    Sarkosy to Brown.

    No Gordon this is the first sitting, can you please take your seat in three hours.

  23. 23

    Get zose bottles of Highland Sprin awaaaay from ‘ere…!

  24. 24

    Vadera: Oh that bollocks on green shoots of recovery was true… Look at me! I am perfectly fine in the recession in my cusshy ministerial job. Let them eat cake!

    • 105

      You would though, wouldn’t you? Well, I would, anyway.

      • 124
        idle says:

        “Jackets off, everyone! Errr… except you, Shriti, if you don’t mind”

      • 138
        tania says:

        That’s if you like your balls to be cut off and stuffed up your arse.

      • 160
        Sir Humphrey says:

        You clearly haven’t met her!

        She is not only fat, but nasty… no redeeming features whatsoever, and an arrogance befitting someone who’s actually achieved something, when in fact she was pretty junior in her old banking job. Which might explain why she got the Tube PPP so wrong…

        Oh, and she is the only person I know who can shout by email…

        But funny when she was sent on a leave of absence from the Treasury because of bullying :-)

      • 189

        Sir Humph – I was thinking of some other bulging little minx; I thus withdraw my previous comment.

      • 201
        Sir Humphrey says:

        TT – as an admirer of South Asian ladies, I completely understand. ;-)

        BTB One of the few redeeming features of Gordo (yes, I know… but wait for it!) is that he once threw a chair at Ms Vadera! Even better than a Nokia or a computer keyboard…

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Sarkosy…..

    “when the music starts we run around the table to the right until the music stops, when the music stops you have to grab a chair and sit down, last one standing gets kicked out of the game.”

    Lady…

    “Gordon is not going to like this, he knows Sarky has been in training”

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon, put the cutlery back please, and we’ll say no more about it…

  27. 27
    Gordon, our own Northern Rock or was it pile of shit? says:

    Gogon, ou est le Shitty bint a votre droite?

  28. 29
    Tom Pearce says:

    After losing their jackets in the first round of the G20 strip poker tournament, the French President asks if the lady was using marked cards.

  29. 30
    Stepney says:

    “Hey Gordeogn – throw me the handbag of Merkel whilst she’s out of ze room. I go merde in eet! She’ll ‘ate eet!”

  30. 31
    Tom Pearce's grey mare says:

    Like zis, I ‘old my arm and ‘voila’ in cinq minutes my deodorant, she is dry

  31. 32
    Martin says:

    The British have this little shit called McSnot. He acts like Hitler, what a Huhne!

  32. 33
    The Brewer says:

    Sarkozy has some impromptu practice for the EU saluting platform.

  33. 34
    A Lad Insane says:

    We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
    Although I wasn’t there, he said I was his friend
    Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eye
    I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

    Oh no, not me
    I never lost control
    You’re face to face
    With The Man Who Saved The World

  34. 35

    The gang tired of the musical chairs game when Gordon kept adding more chairs and never let the music end.

    • 65
      aproposofwhat says:

      Bastard.

      You owe me a new keyboard – I just spluttered my White Lightning over this one.

      Sums up the current fiscal lunacy perfectly, though.

  35. 36

    “Gordon, why are you here?”

    “I’m Prime Minister of Britain.”

    “Really? Still?”

  36. 37
    Anon says:

    Off topic, but look at this wonderful tool for tracking BBC story changes:

    http://www.newssniffer.co.uk/articles/207041/diff/0/1

    I had to visit BBC last night and was shocked at the want-for-nothing furnishings and facilities.

  37. 38
    The Drayman says:

    Due to the credit crunch Sarkozy apologises to guests for bringing them to the EU equivalent of a “greasy spoon”.

  38. 39
    Minekiller says:

    “Ha Ha ..non, mais non, mon ami, ze top seat is for Angela!! Ha ha”.

  39. 40
    vlad the pimp says:

    Oooooh gawwwwwwd. I can’t belieeeeeve I’m here. I could screeeeeeaaaam. Wait until I tell my mum.

  40. 43
    apricotfox says:

    “Zat’s eem! Zat’s ze batard ‘oo started zees ‘ole sing! get eem! Arrest eem in ze name of the low! What ees wrong with you peeple! Why does no-one do as I say!! Arrest eem , I tell you! Carla! Carla! Au secours!”

  41. 45
    vlad the pimp says:

    When Angela comes in all hold out your arms like this and hum the ‘Dambusters’ music.

  42. 46
    simon r says:

    “No Gordon, we are not laughing WITH you, we are laughing AT you – you dumb shit”

  43. 47
    Anonymous says:

    “I’m sorry Gordon, but we only have 19 seats at the table, you will have to sit on the balcony.”

  44. 48
    tenpin says:

    Sarkozy: “Gordon, it is 50 euros a head if you can’t afford it get out.”

    Guido: do I win a bottle of Champagne? Good to see that while we are all roughing it the people responsible for getting us into this mess and now out of it (God help us) are cutting back on their extravagant dinners….good to see the tax payers money being well spent.

  45. 49
    The Drayman says:

    Sarkozy: Pardonez mois, Gordon mon ami, je penser la femme ete une serveuse!

    Vadera: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

  46. 50
    Shoonhorpe says:

    Sarkozy: Quand votre femme fait l’amour, elle garde vous a pris au piège dans la garde-robe comme ceci.

  47. 51
    Nipikin says:

    Vader (in David Walliams voice): I’m a lady you know.

  48. 52
    simon r says:

    “oh zat is really funny Gordon, show me again – so I stick my arm out like this and then its ‘I’m a little teapot…”

  49. 53
    Round bowl says:

    Sarkozy: An’ zee wall be’ind you we ‘ave in magnolia on, ‘ow you say, le woodchip. Carla, she choose zee colour scheme.

  50. 55
    simon r says:

    Brown – “No, the joke is on you Sarkozy – I put rohypnol in your glass and now your sweet little French bum is mine”

  51. 56
    urinalpeeps says:

    Watch zee curtains!!!! Ecosse Labour shits sometimes set fire to ‘em!!!!

  52. 57
    L' Inquisition says:

    Mauvaise Conduite Financière = Conservatives

  53. 58
    Praguetory says:

    Developing – Jealous Brown sees Sarkozy make Shriti appear

  54. 59
    Tom says:

    Come and find me, my name is Macarena
    Always at the party con las chicas que soy Buena
    Come join me
    Dance with me
    And you fellows chant along with me

    Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
    Que tu cuerpo es pa darle alegria y cosa Buena
    Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
    Hey Macarena

  55. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Monsieur Brown, ze chef has prepared your favourite starter, l’escargo de nasal.
    Bon Appetite

  56. 62
    Adolf says:

    And Merkel said “It was over Herr, not there…geddit…Herr” “Oh never mind it went down well in Austria” said Sarkozy

  57. 64
    simon r says:

    Sarkozy “No, no, no Gordon put your little thing away – my my that is so small it is practically inverted”

    Vadera “Oh not again, he tried this at the White House the other week”

  58. 67
    thick as thieves says:

    let’s screw the peasants for as much as we can before they string us up!

  59. 69
    sarkozy says:

    Let us toast my big nose!

  60. 70
    Nothing better to do says:

    And I said to Gordon….”Zis is the only fistal stimulus I know about. Just ask Carla”

  61. 71
    urinalpeeps says:

    “and the deep fried mars bars are a gauche”

  62. 72
    the laughing Frenchman says:

    “And then – this is the best bit – when he put them in the DVD he found they were all region 1!!”

  63. 73
    DiscoveredJoys says:

    Sarkozy’s impersonation of Harry Worth breaks the ice, but strangely the mirrors don’t show Gordon’s reflection…

  64. 74
    Pint Pot says:

    Sarkozy: Sit down Monsieur Brown, when I said Gaudy I was referring to the decor, not trying to be familiar.

  65. 75
    Pint Pot says:

    Sarko. Sacre Bleu, She would be taller than me if I were not standing zis box!!

  66. 76
    pp says:

    Sarkozy: Oh Obama must be joining us, here’s his butler!

  67. 78
    Andy Strang says:

    Ahaha, you save the world, you superman yes? You fly next?

  68. 79
    Cicero says:

    “Tradesman’s entrance, round zee back.”

  69. 80
    Hawser Trunnion says:

    Ah oui Gordon, we decorate zis room wis ‘alf of ze British gold reserves, after all, it was so, ‘ow you say, cheap!!!

  70. 81
    simon r says:

    Sarkozy: You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.

    Brown: What do you mean I’m funny?

    Sarkozy: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, how you saved the world, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.

    Brown: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

    Sarkozy: It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

    Brown: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What’s funny about it?

    Vadera: Gordon no, You got it all wrong.

    Brown [in full on McMental mode]: Oh, oh, no Vadera. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did you say? Funny how?

    Sarkozy: Jus…

    Brown: What?

    Sarkozy: Just… you know… you’re funny.

    Brown: You mean, let me understand this cause, you know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

    Sarkozy: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?

    Brown: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!

    Sarkozy: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Gordon!

    Brown: [everyone laughs] You motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. You stuttering prick you. Vadera, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Nicolas. You may fold under Jackie Smith’s questioning.

    • 89
      Primrose Hill says:

      Yawn, Goodfella

    • 156

      Well I liked it. Simon r.

      Maybe that’s what that Nobel Prize story was earlier. As if HE would get a Nobel prize for Economics FFS!

      Gordon thinks he’s getting the award but finds himself in a storage cupboard with a couple of SAS behind him.
      Then Harriet Harman gets a call from Sarkozy.

      “Gordon.. He’s gone now.”

      “Gone?”

      “Oui. You know gone.. These things happen. So …. he’s gone. ”

      {covers mouthpiece with hand and indicates to waiter he’d like some more cheese}
      “Yeah…He’s gone, and we couldn’t do nothing about it. You might not want to give him an open casket funeral though.”

      “Really !” They shot him in the face?”

      “Non. Its just he’s so very ugly.”

  71. 82
    Strawberries and Bananas says:

    “And this is my impression of Gordon sinking…”

  72. 83
    Anonymous says:

    P

  73. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Ah zed ah wood get you wiz ze whoopee cushion, did ah not? Zat is ze British humour, no?

  74. 85
    crownblog says:

    Sarko – “Gordon did you get lost again like you did in Windsor with the Queen”

    GB – “Address me as Emperor, short arse. For I have saved the world”

  75. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Sarko: And zen Gorrrrdon shows me his little dance, I zink it go like this – [sings] – NIGHT FEVER!! NIGHT FEVER!!

  76. 87
    L' Inquisition says:

    C’est vrai…
    Mauvaise Conduite Financière = Conservatives

  77. 91
    John Steele Gordon says:

    People on the other side have been saying that Wall Street took their checkbooks down to Washington and lobbied to get the regulation they wanted rather than stricter regulation. And actually said, therefore, Congressmen were the victims of this. I’m sorry, but Wall Street was not debauching a virgin, it was paying a harlot.

  78. 92
    L' Inquisition says:

    Oui,
    Mauvaise Conduite Financière = Conservatives

  79. 93
    Jim Chanos says:

    Well, just because the Keystone Kops couldn’t catch the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, doesn’t absolve that gang from its guilt, in not only looting the system with material intent but materially abrogating their fiduciary responsibility to their clients and the nation.

  80. 94

    Let them eat cake!

  81. 95
    Max says:

    So as to spare Vadera’s blushes Sarkozy, ever the gentleman, deploys the old line “he who smelled it, dealt it”. Brown responds with a sickly smile but secretly wonders what to do with the solid that’s landed on top of his shoe.

  82. 96
    George Osborne says:

    The big 5 US investment banking firms at the beginning of 2007 had total assets of 4.3 trillion dollars. To put that into perspective, the national budget of the United States in those years was about 3 trillion dollars. They were leveraged greater than 30 to 1. Their assets were long-term in nature, frequently quite risky, frequently illiquid, and they were financed with mostly liabilities payable on demand. Most of the managements of these institutions were completely incapable of managing the risks that their firms were assuming.

  83. 97
    Anonymous says:

    The toilet Gordon, its over there.

  84. 99
    We're all Brooned says:

    Herr Braun…. I have, how you say, pissssed my self laughing at that NuLabList website, that dolly, so funny, so pc, seeing racism everywhere, we don’t have that problem here, we just don’t do muslim lords or black persons promoted just because of their colour, here you have to be able to do the job, not just provide votes. We are very quaint like that.

  85. 100
    Luke says:

    peuvent les flammes de l’Islam consommer votre style de vie dégénéré, gras hoon

  86. 101
    John Lyon CB - He's gone very quite lately says:

    Unseen, grandad is already loosening the nut above the chandelier.

  87. 102

    “No! I thought he said croissant-neuf!”

  88. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Sarkozy : Gordon, you’ve wet your pants! Ha ha ha ha ha …
    Everybody in the room except Gordon : Ha ha ha ha ha …

  89. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Mr Brown, just look at all this opulence, only your Queen would spend more than this on a banquet, no, not that prat Mandleson

  90. 106
    Mrs Trellis says:

    Monsieur Brown, I love the photo that ze British newspapers keep publishing of you doing the ‘Heil Hitler’ salute, like zis….

  91. 107
    Foreign Office Official says:

    Sarkozy: “Hey Gordon…do that funny thing with your jaw”

  92. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Lord Kinnock (third right in picture) says: The wife thinks we should get the EU to re-do the gold leaf on the walls and doors, but I said we should just take the money and tell them we’d do it ourselves…….

  93. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck me ,but zis Gordon Brun iz just as loony as our spies are reporting back to Paris.
    But ee iz mad.

    I offre eem a salute and little black moustache to put on pour un moment of jocularitee and straight away he must clamber sur le Bechstein and tell zee whole salon of heez plan to save zee worl’

    Eh bien, and Carla, she always say he is fou as well as gai.

  94. 111

    “No, Gordon. Over there. I wish to sit opposite Geri Halliwell.”

  95. 112
    So17 says:

    Vadera: Did Sarkozy just call the Prime minister a Huhne in French?

    Man in Blue: Shhhh, yes, but Gordon thought it was a compliment.

  96. 113
    pete-s says:

    Sarkozy: And you thought me and Barak had deliberately not told you about the D Day celbrations

  97. 114
    pp says:

    Sarkozy is laughing at gordons new t-shirt.

  98. 115
    Computer says:

    no

  99. 117
    A once proud Nation down the toilet - Thank you ZaNuLab says:

    O/T and following the ‘seen elsewhere’ link to ‘Westminster’s Dirty Little Secret’ well no secret really but……Wheeeeeeeeeere’s Jacqui!

  100. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Vaz in a wig, cracks up at Zarkozy’s wit.

  101. 119
    Jacqui Smith's tree trunk legs says:

    “…said the bishop to the actress.”

  102. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Brown remains dour at Sarkozy’s offer to get some practice in for Strictly Come Dancing.

  103. 122
    Captain Smith - Ice, what ice, oh fuck! did that come from America says:

    Sarkozy uses Compiegne railway carriage to gleefully accept the Führer’s surrender of his country’s last little bit of sovereignty to the EU.

  104. 123
    Bogeyman says:

    OT – Saint O’Bummer loses his halo.

    Barry is in deep shit for likening his bowling skills to someone at the Special Olympics. Link: Telegraph

    Grovelling apologies followed. Ha bloody ha.

  105. 125
    Anonymous says:

    I thought you said this new right shit was working Gordon!
    Now I have a nation-wide strike on my hands, count yourself lucky the English are so easily cowed.

  106. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Mr Bean insults veterans AGAIN!!

    http://subrosa-blonde.blogspot.com/

  107. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Vive Le Difference!

  108. 137
    Geoffrey Cunt says:

    I am under this table, and I would like to remind everyone that I am a complete Hoon. Thank you very… oh fuck, do I smell piss? Not again, Gordon!

  109. 141
    cranbeery chase says:

    Hoon are you calling a cnut?

  110. 143
    loose stools says:

    Hey, zis ‘okey cokey is utteerrr crap.

  111. 146
    jacobs crackers says:

    Sarky to Shriti: I’ll have my coffee strong, no milk, one sugar.

  112. 149
    Apricot Bell End says:

    After Gordon demonstrates his Girls Aloud routine, Sarkosy takes the chance to show the others how his Take That dance is progressing

  113. 150
    apricotfox says:

    It is amposseeble zat I dine wiz zis Jonah personajh.All of you, leesen to me! Ze reesks of dining with zis man are eemonce! It will be noro veeroose for al of us! He is ze keesse of death, I tell you..ze KEESE OF DEATH!

    • 174
      jammy dogger says:

      I neely peese in my knickairs when read zis!! A leetle beet of oui come out.

  114. 152
    The HOON says:

    After ze viagra, zat is what my Dago wife sees in ze bedroom.

  115. 153
    Anonymouse says:

    No zee can’t do a visit to Renault.

  116. 155
    genghiz the kahn says:

    there was an Englishman, Irishman, Welshman and One Eyed Scotsman. and hte Englishman said the trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.

  117. 158
    Quo Warranto says:

    Sarko,
    “Thats him Thats the knob head who said he saved the world, everyone laugh at him”

  118. 159
    The Grim Reaper says:

    Sarozky: Merkel told me that you liked this sort of thing, Gordon.

  119. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Man in foreground: “Just give me a little feel!”

  120. 164
    IUnknown says:

    Sarkozy: Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d’enculé de ta mère. It’s like wiping your ass with silk Gordon, I love it.

  121. 166
    Quickly Bollocks says:

    I can see the size of your stimulus package from here you dirty bastard.

  122. 167
    Anonymous says:

    The most surreal moment of Alistair Darling’s session in front of the Commons Treasury Select Committee came when the soft-spoken Labour MP Jim Cousins said: “Chancellor, if you are going to lead us into this Temple of Doom I think the British people will be looking to you to behave a little bit more like Indiana Jones.”
    Mr Darling’s mouth opened and then closed. His eyebrows, which have been trimmed but still look like giant black caterpillars, just ones with recent haircuts, shot up. The room tittered.
    I tried to imagine Mr Darling, hat askew, shirt open, racing across a rope bridge. Simply not possible. I could only see him as Edinburgh Jones, wearing a suit (trouser legs rolled up), creeping along, each eyebrow fastened to the bridge by bungee jump cables. Behind him crawled an army of aides, with binders.

    Do caterpillars have haircuts?

  123. 169
    veronica says:

    Moi stimulous package is considerowbly bigger than yown.

  124. 170
    Simon R (another one) says:

    Sarko: Ah ‘ave ‘erd storiez of your laaarge fisty stimulus from La Dame Mandy and ‘ave no wish to go zere!

    Wee-smelling Jocko: I decorated this table with my nasal flora

  125. 171
    Rebecca says:

    McDoom: I tell you it can work!

    Sarcaustic: Non my leetle Scotish tete de merde, ze wife swop idea of yours is impossible. On ze other hand if you were to allow me to leeft your kilt as did Obama,the Republic of France would be more zan’appy to ram ze idea home..

  126. 172
    Mange Tout - Son of Mange says:

    Gordon glad to see you, hope your not pissed off with me sacking Mandelson for incompetence.

    Gordo :- Not a jot, he was happy with the backhanders (Oooer missus) and the pension sorted the rest. He also sleepwalked into a huge payoff with really no achievements other than being a caught out MP. A lot like Keith Vaz, you know not nice and very dim – we call him 5 watt.

    Sarkozy:- Sacre blue ou est la fenetre. J’iame Davi les deux fils aux yeux d’une renarde

  127. 173

    Just had a peep at Draper’s site – couldn’t resist it. What a bucket of shit. I hope you humiliate him good and proper on the Daily Politics. Wipe that smug grin off his bloated greasy face. The lying, fat fucking Huhne.

  128. 175
    Julian says:

    Sarko: “And let us not forget that Gordon will be giving us each a commemorative DVD of the occasion. It won’t be the wrong region though, like the ones Barack gave you, will it? Gordon? What are you doing with that mobile phone Gordon?”

  129. 177
    Michael says:

    Young lady: Is he really saying I can be the table dancer?

    Man beside her: Yes; spread your legs for G20.

  130. 178
    Simon R (another one) says:

    Sarko: You made HER a fucking Baroness? For God’s sake you fucking nutter, why??

    Wee Jock Poo Pong McPlop: She said “green shoots” and I got all excited, and Queenie thought we could spin “Baroness Vadera” into “Lord Vader”

    Vader: Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I find your lack of faith quite disturbing.

  131. 179
    Anonymous says:

    Vadera gets in by telling them that she’s Scary Spice

  132. 180
    BOF2BS says:

    psycho-shriti-sarko

  133. 182
    Peter Radford says:

    “Nice meal Sarky, I would have liked to bring a few veterans over with me but they would feel out of place in such an opulent building, better we keep it for ourselves and just let the Riff Raff do the sacrifice bit. They know how to do that sort of thing better than us.
    Wheres that bloody Cognac bottle gone.”

  134. 183
    Oscar says:

    “Monsieur scotch Brown, look the guests are not sitting down.

    ziz better next time to do ze fistal stimulus after ze diner, non? “

  135. 185
    Scallywag says:

    Gordon, come back to this table when you have actually been elected, just like me!

  136. 188
    A conceited, horrible, snivelling, lying, cheating, thieving little shit, . says:


    Ye bastards! Ye Scunners! Ye’ain green shoots grew intae sumthun!

    Mind ye – nuthen’s ma fult ye understand!

  137. 190
  138. 191
    Mitch says:

    Sarkozy…”ok people all of you who have been elected on this side…..gordon you sit over there with the staff oh and Angela and I will work out the bill, maths doesn’t seem to one of your strengths….bit like bathing and brushing….nahh just kidding…..not!.”

  139. 192
    Obama The Disablist says:

    Hey guys, fancy a bowl in my back yard? Window lickers need not apply.

  140. 193

    o/t but…
    Government cash must be used for new mortgages claims expert

    What? Instead of allowing the Dunce of the Manse to give it away as bonuses to his favoured City mates?

  141. 194
    Dirty Rat says:

    Sarkozy:- “No, I dont want to split the bill 7 ways. You had a starter and an extra sweet.

  142. 195
    anonymous says:

    Gordon told Sarkozy earlier that he is taking a leaf out of President Obama’s book and appearing on a popular British TV chat show to get his message out to the public before the crucial G20 Meeting.

    An aide who has visted Britain has just told Sarkozy who exactly Jeremy Kyle is.

  143. 196
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    …and Gordon was doing this under the table with his left hand. When he had counted to 99, he changed hands!

  144. 197
    jonah mctwat and the island of doom says:

    I ‘ave been told by many Mr Brown, zat you are, ‘ow you say, ‘special’.

  145. 198
    Bertie Ahern says:

    Nappy changing room first on left

  146. 199
    Guido's software imp says:

    OT – more text lost off the left hand side

  147. 200
  148. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking idiots, we put them all out of work and they still believe us when we say there will be green shoots

    champagne for everybody!

  149. 204
  150. 205
    Raving Loon says:

    For you Gordon, ze economy is over.

  151. 206
    Julian says:

    As the night wore on the assembled members all gave Gordon the famous G20 sign of confidence – touching their forefinger to their thumb and shaking their hand up and down vigorously.

  152. 207
    Anonymous says:

    non, non, this is not all for you, your Mon. Derek Simpson is hiring this room while in France.

  153. 208
    Anon. says:

    o/t but are labourpist having an outward bound team bonding session somewhere?

  154. 209
    Mange Tout - Son of Mange says:

    So Gordon you fell for my cunning trick of saying Obama is attending the 65th anniversary of D Day. 10 minutes you announced you were going.

    Pity you forgot about the Veterans. I heard they are going to snub you at the dias salute by looking the opposite way. What a cock…..

  155. 210
    Anon. says:

    Is Gordon now what they call “soiled goods”?

  156. 211
    Mange Tout - Son of Mange says:

    Gordon have you heard the one about you being the best PM ever. Laugh I nearly coughed up a lung. Mon Dieu….

    Have you heard the one about the new French battle tank, 1 forward gear, 5 reverse. Goes like Mandelson on a Brazilian.

  157. 214

    You still haven’t got a winning entry then?

    How about: “Apres moi, le deluge.”

  158. 215
  159. 216
    Hoons anonymous says:

    HAHAHAHH Une HOON

  160. 217
    Waiter - do you have frogs legs? says:

    Alors, Monsieur Brun – voici la creme anglaise, vert naturalement, pour ta tete.

  161. 218
    je suis un Hoon says:

    Apres la press conferance Le Hoon deluges his pantalons

  162. 219
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    ” Zat woman! She ‘ave a knife! When is arrive ze Snakebite?”

  163. 220

    Brown: British soldiers used to wear red uniforms, so that when they were wounded in battle the sight of blood would not demoralise the troops.

    Sarkozy: Is zat why you are wearing ze brown trousers?

  164. 221
    DoomedByXmas says:

    Sarko: When we av finished fleecing ze taxpayers we can pull up ze drawbridges, like zis, and let the fuckers freeze in ze dark!

    Bankster Buddies: Hahahaha!

  165. 223
    jonah mctwat and the island of doom says:

    Ah Meester Brown, I ‘ ere zat as ever, you’ve started ze quantitative easing wizout us.

  166. 224
    hungarian dwarf man says:

    I ‘ear zat 30% of Britons vill still vote for you Gordon. I know each coontray ‘az it’s fair share of de simpletons, but WTF?

  167. 225
    gildedtumbril says:

    I can reveal where Monsewer Braun keeps his Moral Compass, it is up his Moral Arsehole.

  168. 226
    bofl says:

    zeig heil von braun!

  169. 227
    Apricot Bell End says:

    I instinctively know Gordon Brown is one of the few individuals who you could not knock any sense into.

    Even several kickings to the plumbs and the anus in polished shoes would not cause him to question himself for a moment, even a soldering iron up the jap’s would only strengthen his resolve

    Gordon has got to be allowed self destruct, his own negative energy will implode himself, watch him do it, stephen hawkings could write about it

  170. 228
    sarky git says:

    In all ze gin palaces in all ze world, you ‘ave to walk into mine you Huhne.

  171. 229
    Anonymous says:

    I ‘ear zat 30% of Britons vill still vote for you Mr Brown. Everay nation ‘az it’s fair share of ze simpletons, but WTF?

  172. 231
    hal says:

    Shitzy Veedera get out! I am ze only dwarf in ze village.

  173. 232
    Una Idejocideott says:

    Ich bien eine retard.

  174. 234
    Anonymous says:

    Zeig heil Herr Braun! You ‘ave succeeded ware ‘itler failed, and brought Perfidious Albion to it’s knees. Tomorrow ze world!

  175. 236
    jacobs crackers says:

    M.Sarkozy, this is Shrity Vadeera.

    Ahh, your famous eenglish sense of ‘umour non?

  176. 237
    Anon. says:

    Nokia should rebound during the G19.5

  177. 238
  178. 239
    kiki says:

    GB: I look down on you, because I have a bigger stimulus package than you, but I look up to Barry because he has a bigger stimulus package than either of us.

    Sarko: I’ve got a stiff neck.

  179. 240
    Quickly Bollocks says:

    GB: Give me the tools and I will do the job.

    S: But M. Brown, surely you ‘ave already consulted your Cabinet?

  180. 242
    Labour Trough watch says:

    MAIL ON SUNDAY

    Minister’s £60,000 expenses for parents’ home: ‘Rumbled’ Tony McNulty drops claim… then calls for it to be curtailed.

    Another Labour Minister has been caught out in an expenses scandal after effectively admitting he had been wrong to claim £60,000 of taxpayers’ money for a property which is his parents’ main home – not his.

    OINK OINK! RESIGN!!!!!

    • 243
      Anonymous says:

      City Minister pockets £200,000 from Bermudian tax dodge company
      Lord Myners is facing questions today about a business he set up in the tax haven Bermuda – just as Western governments are cracking down on such arrangements.

    • 244
      Anonymous says:

      Labour schools backer quits after taxpayer cash ends up in his charity
      Labour’s flagship academies scheme is in disarray after a leading backer was forced to resign over

    • 245
      Anonymous says:

      Labour at war as Blairites launch plot to parachute poll guru’s daughter, 22, in to safe seat
      A feud has broken out between supporters of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown over a bid to shoehorn the 22-year-old daughter of one of the ex-PM’s advisers into a plum Labour seat.

    • 246
      Anonymous says:

      Anger over Gordon Brown’s five-star ‘jamboree’ to Chile
      Gordon Brown was under fire last night for ‘jetting off’ to an international Left-wing jamboree at a top South American resort while UK unemployment soars.

    • 247
      Anonymous says:

      Lord Mandelson spawns new spin empire
      The business secretary has racked up a £2m-a-year wages bill for his empire of media consultants and public relations advisers

    • 268
      Lord Mallocks Broon says:

      “We’ve got to give him a chance to think up a plausible excuse.”

    • 270
      dr johnson says:

      “Another Labour Minister has been caught out in an expenses scandal after effectively admitting he had been wrong to claim £60,000 of taxpayers’ money for a property which is his parents’ main home – not his.

      OINK OINK! RESIGN!!!!!”

      Haven’t you heard? Labour have removed’ RESIGN’ from the lexicon.

  181. 248
    Lord Mandy of WankingBoiz-on-Sunday says:

    Who gives a fuck, with the billions in my control £2m is mere chicken feed!

  182. 249
    Gordon Brown BO (with bar) says:

    ‘jerking off’ surely.

  183. 250
    Bogeyman says:

    Hey, left margin fixed on IE7! (and IE6, one presumes). I hope all those thousands of people who say Guido is a prat will retract immediately.

  184. 251
    Gordon Brown BO (with bar) says:

    “flagship academies”? Surely ‘opportunities for local crooks to cream off the taxpayer’!

  185. 253
    Anonymous says:

    There’s a BBC in Albanian on my money

    The ****s the total ****ing ****s

    I don’t ****ing believe it, ****ing Albanian

    jesus ****ing wept – give me my ****ing money back

    why????? is there BBC in ****ing albanian on my ***ing money

  186. 255
    Jayyyyyyde Goodeeeeeee says:

    Byeeeeeeeeeee

    • 256
      Anonymous says:

      RIP

    • 257
      Grimly Fiendish says:

      Saint Jade of Goody beckons.

      She died on Mother’s Day. How – er – suspicious is that?

      I demand an enquiry.

      Who killed Jade?

      • 262
        Anon. says:

        Typical chav mum, drops 2 kids then fucks off.

      • 301
        Anonymous says:

        I see McDoom is once again commenting on how wonderful it was of Jade to raise money to give her children a better start in life than herself. I thought he hates private schools. He should have been castigating her for buying privileges not available to all. Never mind if, by chance, they happen to get good qualifications he’ll do all he can to make sure they don’t get to a decent university.

  187. 258
    Gordon McDoom says:

    WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU JANE GOODY

  188. 260
    cripple says:

    Guido,
    Well done on the win yesterday. Is that the reason for no blog?

  189. 261
    Aymee-Leigh says:

    OMG NO!! She woz such a lovin and carin person, a real ledge, a star, an exampl to us al. She was Posh and Muvva Terreeza rapped up in 1.

    OMG I fink im gonna end it all meself.

    OMG

  190. 263
    baybeeshazXXX says:

    Yea, a reel ledge woz Jade. I fink Im gonna send her poor lil boyz a big bunch of flowers so they dont starve

    Shes gon, not wiv us anymore!! OMG!!!XXXX!!!!xxxx :-( ((

  191. 264
    Mitch says:

    “Former minister Nigel Griffiths, a close friend of Prime Minister Gordon Brown, cavorted with a naked brunette in his Parliamentary office on Remembrance Day. ”

    The real shocker here is that 1.the guy likes women and 2.gordon has a friend.

    • 265
      Anonymous says:

      2> Gordon has a ‘friend’ who like women.

      • 267
        View from the Bunker next door says:

        “Britain’s ambassador in Washington, Nigel Sheinwald, has delivered a diplomatic but decisive rebuke to Barack Obama’s refusal to give Gordon Brown a full-scale Press conference at their White House meeting two weeks ago.

        Sheinwald has written to bosses at America’s Fox TV – which led a campaign protesting at Obama’s behaviour – warmly thanking them for standing up for the PM.” Black Dog Mail on Sunday21 March 2009

        He’s got another friend too it seems ! Obviously that gift of the Blockbuster DVD Box Set still rankles although rumour has it that Downing Street are planning to present Obama with a reciprocal DVD Set of Coronation Street and East Enders when he calls in April

  192. 266
  193. 273
  194. 274
    Mitch says:

    gordon has a friend??????????????????

  195. 275
    Mange Tout - Son of Mange says:

    Sarkozy “And then McNulty said Let them eat cake. The stupid taxpayers deserve to be ripped off and pay for my parents living in my other house.”

    Gordim “But the best thing was he did nothing wrong”.

    ——————
    Email him here House of Commons: mcnultyt@parliament.uk
    I suspect the servers will crash


    Comment
    Piano wire sales up 500%.
    Nu labour seats forecast @ next election ~50.

  196. 276
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    “Mon ‘overcraft est full of asylum seekers!”

  197. 277
    anton de becq says:

    Everayboday out except ze asian bint, I need to inject zome liquidity.

  198. 278
    petuniabean says:

    And zen she say “If you call me Brunilda – I call you Nicholastic Sarcastic.’”

  199. 279
    Apricot Bell End says:

    Sarkozy: are we go to eat ze chocolate starfish that Monsieur Mandelson has told me so much about?

  200. 282
    Quick question..... says:

    Doesn’t the lovely Tony McNulty know what happens to looters?

  201. 283
  202. 285
    McNulty says:

    MP’s ‘FIDDLING” while Rome burns…

  203. 286
    jammy dogger says:

    Jade Goody has died of cancer of the Huhne.

  204. 288
    Mitch says:

    Nice article by the snot eating coward on CIF 300+ comments all bad bordering on abuse….go add to the fun.

  205. 290
  206. 291
    A conceited, horrible, snivelling, lying, cheating, thieving little shit, announcing 60,000 million says:


    Aye bastards! Ye Scunners!

    But, thanks tae’ ur’ long term stratgey, – an’ Mz. J Boot, we’ve got far mae terroists than ye ‘ave!

    Take that!!

    Mind ye, nuthen’s’nae ma fult ye understand!

  207. 297
    Gooey Blob says:

    Another building society is getting into difficulties:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/7957756.stm

    Don’t think it will be the last, either. There’s no incentive to save any more, and nobody in their right mind is going to spend their savings knowing there are another million job losses around the corner and huge tax rises on the way. I’ve pulled £25K out of my local society in the last week to invest elsewhere, as far as I’m concerned UK banks and building societies just aren’t worth bothering with any more.

  208. 300
    étoile de chocolat says:

    “Concern has been raised over the future of Scotland’s largest building society, amid reports it may have to be bailed out by the UK Government.”

    hmmmm………”it started Scotland”

  209. 302
    Beagle daddy says:

    Let me put ze ozzer eye out

  210. 303
  211. 304
  212. 305
  213. 312
    The Duchess of Wotton Underwood says:

    ” Beurre de Shriti Monsieur le Président?”

  214. 313
    Anonymous says:

    I think Sarkozy’s about to start a dance-off

    Ag-a-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree
    Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee
    To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees
    Come and dance every night, sing with a hula melody

  215. 314
    Julio says:

    Shriti:
    I liked the toasted rat’s anus, but there could have been more stuffing.

    Sarko:
    I like my anus well stuffed too.

    El Gordo:
    It was divine, but nothing beats the crunchy texture and earthy taste of a freshly picked snotter.

  216. 319
    thick as thieves says:

    did I win?

  217. 320
    Foreign Office Official says:

    Sarkozy:”Don’t worry Gordon…I took the batteries out of Carla’s Stimulator-Fiscal before leaving for London”

  218. 321
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    Gordo “you are a one eyed Scottish idiot”

  219. 322

    When are you going to announce the winner? It’s Tuesday already. Please stop calling it ‘Friday Caption Competition’ unless you want to be done under the Trades Description Act 1968.



The Iranian Model is Hitler | Lawrence J. Haas
No.10′s Andrew Cooper Should Look at this Poll | Douglas Carswell
Livingstone Has Form on Homophobia | ConservativeHome
Investors HBack Over RBS Meddling | CityAM
Riddled With It | Pink News
I Went Mad in the Seventies | Ken
Guy Newsroom Splits | Indy
Polly’s Voodoo Polling | UK Polling Report
Labour SpAd Backs the Bill | Mark Wallace
Guido Goes for the Lobby | Press Gazette

Previously Seen


Peter Botting


Max Clifford says…

“Most people want to read nasty things about people, not nice things.”



DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?

Just a thought.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives








RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads