Imagine the scene: Gordon is brainstorming* at a secret meeting in Victoria, London. With him are his trusted acolytes, Wilf, Damien and Ed, Konrad is bringing in a tray of tea and biscuits. How are they going to turn Brown green in the face of Cameron’s successful “Vote Blue, Go Green” strategy?

Having matched him on the kids front they can’t allow Gordon to be out-flanked on the green agenda. “Get a bigger windmill, that produces more energy and shows you are more green” suggests Ed. No says McSnide, it’ll look like you are just copying Dave. Wilf, ever the practical wonk, suggests solar panels instead. “Genius!” they all cheer.

Solar panels in Kirkcaldy? Now Guido has not travelled to Scotland to test this, but suspects it probable that it is fact more sunny in Notting Hill and more windy in Kirkcaldy. Just a thought…