Guido got hammered celebrating with Brian Haw at the Channel 4 Political Awards, then went on to the alternative Tory not-the-300-quid-a-ticket do at the Collection.

Ended up helping the police with their enquiries at about 3.30am. No charges resulted, but Guido will confirm that “I am a personal friend of Commander Yates” works a lot better* than “Do you know who I am?”. Guido would like to thank the officers concerned for dropping Guido off at home in the back of their van and confirm that another donation to the The Metropolitan & City Police Orphanage and Orphans Fund is on the way.

*Does not work on Mrs Fawkes at 4am.