Harriet Harman was gutted not to win, Charles Clarke is clearly embittered and laughed heartily at the expense of his enemies colleagues. Charlie Kennedy ostentatiously drunk a Coca Cola, mind you he did leave early, (keeps the Tennents Extra at home obviously).

Sandra Howard charmed Mrs Fawkes, whatever happened to her husband? Aitken played up his ex-con status amusingly. Event was otherwise lacking in senior Tories who were all at the Black and White Ball, only Dominic Grieve showed up in incongruous black tie before he hopped off to Battersea.

Jon Snow was surprisingly bad at reading his auto-cue and we were repeatedly asked to clap and laugh a second time at his fluffed jokes. The live link to the Tory Ball with Cameron was a needle match. Snow couldn’t hide his loathing and made a jibe about tickets to the ball costing £5,000.* Cameron (through a gritted smile) retorted “Well on your salary Jon that wouldn’t be a problem”. Wonder if that will be cut?

*Was actually £325 on Guido’s invite. 325 quid to spend an evening with Tories? Guido might charge that to spend a night with the Tories, but not a hope in hell of paying it.

Guido got hammered celebrating with Brian Haw at the Channel 4 Political Awards, then went on to the alternative Tory not-the-300-quid-a-ticket do at the Collection.

Ended up helping the police with their enquiries at about 3.30am. No charges resulted, but Guido will confirm that “I am a personal friend of Commander Yates” works a lot better* than “Do you know who I am?”. Guido would like to thank the officers concerned for dropping Guido off at home in the back of their van and confirm that another donation to the The Metropolitan & City Police Orphanage and Orphans Fund is on the way.

*Does not work on Mrs Fawkes at 4am.