Kiss Guido’s Politically Incorrect Arse

Looks like it will be another six-figure month here in the cellar at www.Order-Order.com:
click to enlarge
On the day they protest outside parliament against jokes becoming illegal, Guido is pleased to boast that despite upsetting a few of the most po-faced bloggers, this blog is still as popular as ever. Guido was found guilty of thoughtcrimes by the pc-blogosphere-inquisition and yet, infuriatingly, his readership remains loyal. You have to laugh at their ultimate sanction and know: they would have removed Voltaire from their blogrolls.

Darbyshires Endorse Whuhne

Let’s see if he lists them as his supporters. And finally, in other news they are adopting a cat.

Killed in Iraq : 100Funerals Attended by Blair : 0Wounded Visited by Blair : 0

Blair Heir : Picture Exclusive

Tory Confidence and Confidentiality

MORI in the FT yesterday has some 31% of respondents satisfied with Cameron’s performance, while 17% got no satisfaction. This gives a “net satisfied” rating of +14%. A figure identical to the satisfaction rating achieved by Blair two months after he became Labour leader. It is light-years ahead of what William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard scored two months into their leaderships. Blair currently scores –21%.

The majority of LibDem voters (53%) say they are satisfied with the new Tory leader and just 14% are dissatisfied, a whopping +39% score. (Mind you, according to ICM, 39% of Lib Dems would like Charlie back.) Even among Labour voters, the score for Cameron is +4%, which is actually better than Blair scores with all voters.

CCHQ readers: Could a co-conspirator, for a laugh, send Guido a copy of the confidentiality agreement Conservative Party employees at CCHQ are being advised to sign. Usual email or fax 0709 201 2337.

LibDem Leader’s Backer Clasher”Oh Yes I have”, “Oh No You Haven’t”

Yesterday Whune claimed on his website:

… his campaign has now secured the backing of eight Council Leaders from around England. This is more than the other candidates combined. ‘I’m delighted,‘ said Chris, ‘at the backing of these local party leaders. These Liberal Democrat council leaders are already in power in their own areas and therefore their support represents a significant step forward in my campaign. I want to see the success they have achieved for the Liberal Democrats replicated on a national scale.’

Whuhne’s much boasted grasp of figures (economist, City editor etc.) could take a bit of a knocking here. This evening Ming’s Jaguar pulled up outside Guido’s cellar to decant a liveried flunkey with a list of nine council leaders backing Ming. How does he square that with whathisnames’ claims? Guido has counted for himself (using the fingers of both hands) and thinks Ming has it.

Remember the Tory leadership campaign? Liam Fox claiming the backing of George Bush, how we laughed. This is just tragic – the politics of toytown.

Sandi Toksvig Mocks Whune

In a viciously cutting stand-up routine, comedienne Sandi Toksvig, a celebrity* LibDem supporter, sarcastically said that Chris Whuhne, of the three candidates, had the qualities the party would need in the coming years.

“If you are looking for somebody to be the next Prime Minister – especially the first Liberal Democrat Prime Minister, it helps if he or she looks and sounds like a Prime Minister,” Sandi cruelly mocked.

*Technically correct.

The Darbyshires Again

Surely they must be the blog product of the mind of a drug crazed LibDem satirist?

Simon Hughes. We’re not supposed to comment in detail. But the truth is out now. All I want to say is we’ve guessed a long time. The rumour mill was always going. His staff and colleagues used to say he was just a private person, too busy to meet a woman or that he’d been seen out with both men and women. But when someone puts their arms around the two of you and looks chuffed to be able to do so you know they like both flavours!
There is more, so much more, Leah Darbyshire’s letter to Burger King complaining at their lack of vegetarian offerings is surreal. Guido is addicted.

What Dave told Demos

Interesting and clearly its the definitive (for now) ideological text for Cameroonies. It’s an honest analysis of Blair / New Labour as well. Cameron argues for realpolitik made policy.

+ READ MORE +

Wee Willie Rennie Running…

…a distant second in Dunfermline & Fife against Labour, should have a re-think. The propaganda could do with a little polishing and re-phrasing. Tastelessly, in view of recent events, he refers to binge drinkers and “straight choices”.

Many thanks to Holyrood Belle, a Guido co-conspirator, for emailing these gems in.
[…]

+ READ MORE +

Scottish Intelligence

Guido fears that if the SNP and Sean Connery do use the Scottish Parliament to attempt to sieze North Sea oil, Blair will find evidence of WMD in Glasgow (battered deep-fried Mars bars can be lethal) and invade.
[…]

+ READ MORE +

Help Form Labour’s Education Policy

Little tip from Guido for David Willetts (courtesy of the left-wing pressure group Compass). Compass are campaigning with Fiona Millar (also not known as Mrs Alastair Campbell) to make sure parents have no choice but to send their children to the local comprehensive to learn text messaging and stabbing.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Tax Day Tomorrow Mr Blunkett, Don’t Forget

You know how forgetful David Blunkett is with forms, forgetting he had fast-tracked his mistress’ visa application for her nanny forinstance.

Well tomorrow his tax return will have to be in, and just in case he suffers from amnesia again, let Guido remind the old expense fiddler, he will have to declare the benefit in kind of living in a free, grace and favour, £3m Belgravia mansion courtesy of Tony.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

“President” McCain Praises “Prime Minister” Cameron

Guido suspects it won’t be the last time John McCain praises David Cameron’s “new generation of leadership in the Conservative Party” with their “very enthusiastic and clear vision of the obstacles they have to overcome to get a new Conservative majority… From what I know of, and have seen of, Prime Minister Cameron, I mean Mr Cameron, I’m sure he and I are more philosophically aligned…”

Patience, just three more years…

+ READ MORE +

Clearing out the Closet

The Indy reckons that LibDem MPs with skeletons in their closet have been summonsed to the Chief Whip, Andrew Stunell, and told to confess all. No word as to if Ming or Whune have been along.

+ READ MORE +

Met Police “Institutionally Blairite”

New Labour’s favourite copper, Sir Ian Blair, is useless. When not covering up for trigger happy extra-judicial executions of tube travellers, he spends his time enforcing politically correct policing. Detested by many of the ordinary boys in blue his career has been pulled upwards by the immense amount of suction power which he directs to his New Labour masters.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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