Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Kiss Guido’s Politically Incorrect Arse

Looks like it will be another six-figure month here in the cellar at www.Order-Order.com:
click to enlarge
On the day they protest outside parliament against jokes becoming illegal, Guido is pleased to boast that despite upsetting a few of the most po-faced bloggers, this blog is still as popular as ever. Guido was found guilty of thoughtcrimes by the pc-blogosphere-inquisition and yet, infuriatingly, his readership remains loyal. You have to laugh at their ultimate sanction and know: they would have removed Voltaire from their blogrolls.

Darbyshires Endorse Whuhne

Killed in Iraq : 100Funerals Attended by Blair : 0Wounded Visited by Blair : 0

Blair Heir : Picture Exclusive

Tory Confidence and Confidentiality

MORI in the FT yesterday has some 31% of respondents satisfied with Cameron’s performance, while 17% got no satisfaction. This gives a “net satisfied” rating of +14%. A figure identical to the satisfaction rating achieved by Blair two months after he became Labour leader. It is light-years ahead of what William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard scored two months into their leaderships. Blair currently scores –21%.

The majority of LibDem voters (53%) say they are satisfied with the new Tory leader and just 14% are dissatisfied, a whopping +39% score. (Mind you, according to ICM, 39% of Lib Dems would like Charlie back.) Even among Labour voters, the score for Cameron is +4%, which is actually better than Blair scores with all voters.

CCHQ readers: Could a co-conspirator, for a laugh, send Guido a copy of the confidentiality agreement Conservative Party employees at CCHQ are being advised to sign. Usual email or fax 0709 201 2337.

LibDem Leader’s Backer Clasher"Oh Yes I have", "Oh No You Haven’t"

Yesterday Whune claimed on his website:

… his campaign has now secured the backing of eight Council Leaders from around England. This is more than the other candidates combined. ‘I’m delighted,‘ said Chris, ‘at the backing of these local party leaders. These Liberal Democrat council leaders are already in power in their own areas and therefore their support represents a significant step forward in my campaign. I want to see the success they have achieved for the Liberal Democrats replicated on a national scale.’

Whuhne’s much boasted grasp of figures (economist, City editor etc.) could take a bit of a knocking here. This evening Ming’s Jaguar pulled up outside Guido’s cellar to decant a liveried flunkey with a list of nine council leaders backing Ming. How does he square that with whathisnames’ claims? Guido has counted for himself (using the fingers of both hands) and thinks Ming has it.

Remember the Tory leadership campaign? Liam Fox claiming the backing of George Bush, how we laughed. This is just tragic – the politics of toytown.

Sandi Toksvig Mocks Whune

In a viciously cutting stand-up routine, comedienne Sandi Toksvig, a celebrity* LibDem supporter, sarcastically said that Chris Whuhne, of the three candidates, had the qualities the party would need in the coming years.

“If you are looking for somebody to be the next Prime Minister – especially the first Liberal Democrat Prime Minister, it helps if he or she looks and sounds like a Prime Minister,” Sandi cruelly mocked.

*Technically correct.

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Darbyshires Again

Surely they must be the blog product of the mind of a drug crazed LibDem satirist?

Simon Hughes. We’re not supposed to comment in detail. But the truth is out now. All I want to say is we’ve guessed a long time. The rumour mill was always going. His staff and colleagues used to say he was just a private person, too busy to meet a woman or that he’d been seen out with both men and women. But when someone puts their arms around the two of you and looks chuffed to be able to do so you know they like both flavours!
There is more, so much more, Leah Darbyshire’s letter to Burger King complaining at their lack of vegetarian offerings is surreal. Guido is addicted.

What Dave told Demos

Wee Willie Rennie Running…

…a distant second in Dunfermline & Fife against Labour, should have a re-think. The propaganda could do with a little polishing and re-phrasing. Tastelessly, in view of recent events, he refers to binge drinkers and “straight choices”.

Many thanks to Holyrood Belle, a Guido co-conspirator, for emailing these gems in.

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