Kiss Guido’s Politically Incorrect Arse

Looks like it will be another six-figure month here in the cellar at www.Order-Order.com:
click to enlarge
On the day they protest outside parliament against jokes becoming illegal, Guido is pleased to boast that despite upsetting a few of the most po-faced bloggers, this blog is still as popular as ever. Guido was found guilty of thoughtcrimes by the pc-blogosphere-inquisition and yet, infuriatingly, his readership remains loyal. You have to laugh at their ultimate sanction and know: they would have removed Voltaire from their blogrolls.

Darbyshires Endorse Whuhne

Let’s see if he lists them as his supporters. And finally, in other news they are adopting a cat.

Killed in Iraq : 100Funerals Attended by Blair : 0Wounded Visited by Blair : 0

Blair Heir : Picture Exclusive

Tory Confidence and Confidentiality

MORI in the FT yesterday has some 31% of respondents satisfied with Cameron’s performance, while 17% got no satisfaction. This gives a “net satisfied” rating of +14%. A figure identical to the satisfaction rating achieved by Blair two months after he became Labour leader. It is light-years ahead of what William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard scored two months into their leaderships. Blair currently scores –21%.

The majority of LibDem voters (53%) say they are satisfied with the new Tory leader and just 14% are dissatisfied, a whopping +39% score. (Mind you, according to ICM, 39% of Lib Dems would like Charlie back.) Even among Labour voters, the score for Cameron is +4%, which is actually better than Blair scores with all voters.

CCHQ readers: Could a co-conspirator, for a laugh, send Guido a copy of the confidentiality agreement Conservative Party employees at CCHQ are being advised to sign. Usual email or fax 0709 201 2337.

LibDem Leader’s Backer Clasher"Oh Yes I have", "Oh No You Haven’t"

Yesterday Whune claimed on his website:

… his campaign has now secured the backing of eight Council Leaders from around England. This is more than the other candidates combined. ‘I’m delighted,‘ said Chris, ‘at the backing of these local party leaders. These Liberal Democrat council leaders are already in power in their own areas and therefore their support represents a significant step forward in my campaign. I want to see the success they have achieved for the Liberal Democrats replicated on a national scale.’

Whuhne’s much boasted grasp of figures (economist, City editor etc.) could take a bit of a knocking here. This evening Ming’s Jaguar pulled up outside Guido’s cellar to decant a liveried flunkey with a list of nine council leaders backing Ming. How does he square that with whathisnames’ claims? Guido has counted for himself (using the fingers of both hands) and thinks Ming has it.

Remember the Tory leadership campaign? Liam Fox claiming the backing of George Bush, how we laughed. This is just tragic – the politics of toytown.

Sandi Toksvig Mocks Whune

In a viciously cutting stand-up routine, comedienne Sandi Toksvig, a celebrity* LibDem supporter, sarcastically said that Chris Whuhne, of the three candidates, had the qualities the party would need in the coming years.

“If you are looking for somebody to be the next Prime Minister – especially the first Liberal Democrat Prime Minister, it helps if he or she looks and sounds like a Prime Minister,” Sandi cruelly mocked.

*Technically correct.

The Darbyshires Again

Surely they must be the blog product of the mind of a drug crazed LibDem satirist?

Simon Hughes. We’re not supposed to comment in detail. But the truth is out now. All I want to say is we’ve guessed a long time. The rumour mill was always going. His staff and colleagues used to say he was just a private person, too busy to meet a woman or that he’d been seen out with both men and women. But when someone puts their arms around the two of you and looks chuffed to be able to do so you know they like both flavours!
There is more, so much more, Leah Darbyshire’s letter to Burger King complaining at their lack of vegetarian offerings is surreal. Guido is addicted.

What Dave told Demos

Interesting and clearly its the definitive (for now) ideological text for Cameroonies. It’s an honest analysis of Blair / New Labour as well. Cameron argues for realpolitik made policy.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Wee Willie Rennie Running…

…a distant second in Dunfermline & Fife against Labour, should have a re-think. The propaganda could do with a little polishing and re-phrasing. Tastelessly, in view of recent events, he refers to binge drinkers and “straight choices”.

Many thanks

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Scottish Intelligence

Guido fears that if the SNP and Sean Connery do use the Scottish Parliament to attempt to sieze North Sea oil, Blair will find evidence of WMD in Glasgow (battered deep-fried Mars bars can be lethal) and invade.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Help Form Labour’s Education Policy

Little tip from Guido for David Willetts (courtesy of the left-wing pressure group Compass). Compass are campaigning with Fiona Millar (also not known as Mrs Alastair Campbell) to make sure parents have no choice but to send their children

[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

SADIQ LOSES IT WITH BBC JOURNALIST OVER TFL FARES SUMS SADIQ LOSES IT WITH BBC JOURNALIST OVER TFL FARES SUMS
FRENCH GOVERNMENT DISPUTES CAMERON ON CALAIS FRENCH GOVERNMENT DISPUTES CAMERON ON CALAIS
EX-LABOUR MINISTER COMES OUT FOR BREXIT EX-LABOUR MINISTER COMES OUT FOR BREXIT
EU GOING TO PAY FOR THAT? EU GOING TO PAY FOR THAT?
TORY MPS PAN CAM’S CALAIS SCAREMONGERING TORY MPS PAN CAM’S CALAIS SCAREMONGERING
LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF
CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS” CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS”
SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK
HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER? HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER?
KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER
Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers
EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL” CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL”