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This recess week 128,013 visitors visited 352,222 times viewing 547,667 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

Bob Crow Brigade Gun Wielding ISIS Fighters Slam Oily Smith

bob crow brigade

Hard left anti-ISIS fighters branding themselves the Bob Crow Brigade have slammed Owen “Oily” Smith’s desire to talk to ISIS. Armed with Kalashnikov assault rifles and standing in front of a wall in what appears to be a ruined town, fighters stand below graffiti which reads:

“@OwenSmith2016 Want to talk to ISIS? Tell that to the Martyrs of Manbij.

‘If you fight, you won’t always win. If you don’t fight, you will always lose.'”

The latter is a quote from deceased former RMT chief Bob Crow. This particular unit of British fighters is part of the larger International Freedom Battalion, and have previously posed with graffiti praising the rail strikers. Looks like Smith has lost the Rojava vote…

Burkini Unbanned!

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Guido was concerned that burkini wearing fair-skinned Irish girls would no longer be able to protect themselves from harmful UV rays on the beaches in the South of France as a result of the ban. Good news for freedom lovers, as France’s top administrative court strikes down the Villeneuve-Loubet burkini ban. Women on the Riviera who have already faced fines even have the chance to appeal. The suspension means Muslim beauties like Miss Pakistan World, Shanzay Hayat, above, can wear what they like to the beach again. Ooh la akbar!

Act That Tried to Ban “Poppers” Bites

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Crispin Blunt will be breathing a sigh of relief today, as figures released by the Home Office reveal the Psychoactive Substances Act stopped 332 “headshops” selling the contraband and shutdown 24 altogether, with 186 arrests. The act gained notoriety earlier this year when it was revealed that the government was to attempt a blanket ban on then “legal highs”, including popular “poppers”. This led to a memorable intervention from Crispin Blunt, saving “poppers” from the ban and a potential two years in prison simply for possession. He didn’t stop the government banning hundreds of other substances, though, flying in the face of increasingly pro-drug legislators in Ireland, Europe, and even the USA. If only they could take something to broaden their thinking…

Friday Caption Contest: Comfy Seat Edition

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Entries in the comments please…

Serjeant at Arms Gets Complaint About Carolyn Harris

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The Serjeant at Arms has been sent a complaint by one of Carolyn Harris’s constituents, demanding to know why she has granted a pass to lobbyist Lawrence Bailey who told Guido he was “not an employee or member of Carolyn’s staff.” The Serjeant’s office can now begin the official complaints procedure, which could see Bailey have his pass revoked and Harris face sanctions. This follows on from a complaint to Harris earlier this week from the director general of lobbying trade association the PRCA. Bailey’s made at least £51,305.60 from the taxpayer for doing what amounts to “5+ days a month support”, doing PR for an opposition backbencher and her predecessor, the former of which nobody had heard of until she became embroiled in allegations of homophobic abuse to a staff member. Time to take away the public teat…

Sainsbury Broke Labour Rules, Purging Likely

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Top Labour donor Baron Sainsbury’s grant of over £2 million to the Lib Dems this year means, without any doubt, he has broken Labour’s strict membership rules. The 2016 rulebook, Chapter 2 clause I section 4 paragraph B calls for the automatic exclusion of any members who “supports a political organisation other than an official Labour group”. £2,125,000 to a rival party surely counts as support…

Sainsbury’s money, though much needed with the collapse of union donations on the horizon, can’t have been welcomed too much by the current leadership. Although Sainsbury has, particularly during the Blair years, donated some £15.6 million to the party, he’s given over £5 million to the New Labour faction’s Progress and £1.35 million to the Movement for Change – a now defunct front for David Miliband’s ambitions and that was once seen as integral to the New Labour continuity project in the way that Momentum is to Corbyn. The rules are however clear – with £2 million given to the LibDems – Sainsbury has to be purged by Labour’s Compliance Department…

Hillary Clinton Attacks Farage and Alt-Right Movement

“Just yesterday, one of Britain’s most prominent right wing leaders – a man called Nigel Farage – who stoked anti-immigrant sentiments to win the referendum to have Britain leave the European Union, campaigned with Donald Trump in Mississippi. Farage has called for a ban on the children of legal immigrants from public schools and health services, has said women are quote ‘worth less’ than men, and supports scrapping laws that prevent employers from discriminating based on race – that’s who Donald Trump wants by his side when he is addressing an audience of American voters.”

“And the grand godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism is Russian president Vladimir Putin. And in fact, Farage regularly appears on Russian propaganda programmes. Now he’s standing on the same stage as the Republican nominee.”

She appears to be running against Farage and the Alt-Right movement…

Who Said it: Blair or Smith?

Can you tell the “oily” leadership candidate from his hated predecessor?

EU Leaders Discussing Brexit Without Britain, Again

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Leaders of every EU member state bar Britain will meet in Bratislava in mid-September to “continue a political reflection” post-Brexit. The event, which was scheduled after the last meeting in Brussels, is ostensibly for the leaders to debate “further reforms in line with our strategic agenda”. This will almost certainly include extensive discussions around Brexit. Frustratingly both Merkel and Juncker don’t want to engage the UK in any of these negotiations until Article 50 is triggered, that the meeting is happening in the first place should be an encouraging sign to Brexiteers worried about a betrayal. Presumably MI6 will be earning the taxpayers’ shilling and the Foreign Office will still be fully aware of the EU’s strategy… 

Labour MPs Love Theresa May As Well

THERESA MAY MOST IMPRESSIVE MPS

It’s not just Labour’s former advisers who like Theresa May – their MPs think she’s impressive too. Theresa May was deemed “most impressive parliamentarian” by no less than 35% of Labour MPs, putting her second on the leadership table only to be beaten by Cameron in an Ipsos MORI poll of members. While May was deemed impressive by more ministers, the ex-cabinet ministers sitting bitterly on the backbenches put Dave ahead in the overall stakes by just 1% – to 26%.

Labour’s strongest contender was unsurprisingly Hilary Benn, coming joint sixth with 6%, but was beaten to a top five place by Angus Robertson. Labour MPs went mostly unloved, with Tom Watson and Dan Jarvis gaining the support of just one MP each (possibly themselves?). One Conservative joker backed Corbyn for the title. If Labour MPs like May so much, why don’t they just…

Labour Adviser Created “Theresa May for PM” Campaign

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A former Labour adviser who denied supporting Theresa May was behind the pro-Theresa May campaign Twibbon. Jonny Chambers, who previously worked for Stella Creasy, lashed out on Twitter this morning after being barred from the Labour party after he “demonstrated support for the Conservative party on social media.” In a Facebook post, Chambers claimed that the allegations of “support” for May were a “wonderful demonstration of Labour’s values”, before denying any support had been given:

“Labour claim that evidence shows I have demonstrated support for the Conservatives – something I have never done. I posted an article about why Labour people should have a stake and an interest in a race that was choosing our next Prime Minister – and I quite clearly said that whilst Theresa should be the next Prime Minister, I wanted a Labour leader than can beat her and the Conservatives.”

In truth Chambers did a little more than a few tweets and an unread blogpost. His own Twibbon page shows he created the “TheresaMayForPM” imagery, complete with tagline “A country that works for everyone” – one of May’s campaign slogans. The cause was far more popular than any of his others, winning over 500 supporters. Chambers clearly idolises the PM, praising previous statements and even down playing Red Ed’s chances in a minority government:

scared of may led opposition

Chambers even tweeted one of Cameron’s harshest put-downs to Corbyn, followed by clapping hands signalling applause:

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To cap it all off, he was an Owen Smith supporter. To be fair, the Corbynista’s have been calling them “red tories”…

#TrainGate: Labour Voters Trust Corbyn

CORBYN TRAINGATE YOUGOV

Labour voters showed their trust in Corbyn in a recent YouGov poll on TrainGate. 39% of current Labour voters believe Corbyn’s version of events – that there were no unreserved seats available – compared to 34% believing Virgin’s story. 44% think Corbyn was being dishonest but only 36% of Labour voters think that his dishonesty matters. On the stump supporters argue the attack by offshore privateer Branson helps Corbyn with activists…

MoD Spends More on Accountants Than Fighter Jets

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The MoD spent £4.2 billion on “Technical, Financial Services and Other Services”. A handy statistical bulletin released today itemised the £20 billion of the defence budget spent within the UK in 2014/15:

“The industry group that received the highest level of expenditure from the MOD was ‘Technical, Financial Services and Other Business Services’, at just over £4.2 billion. This covers services for legal, accounting, management consultancy, and technical testing and analysis.”

The amount spent on pen pushers is nearly twice the level of expenditure on “Aircraft and Spacecraft” and approximately 350% more than on “Weapons and Ammunition”. Maybe the MoD is developing “keyboard warriors”…

Farage to Trump “I Come to You With a Message of Hope and Optimism”

Will the lessons of the Brexit campaign transfer across the Atlantic? At a campaign rally speech in Mississippi Farage chimed with Trump’s anti-corporatist messages, his championing of “ordinary people let down by a politically correct political class”. 202 years to the day since the British burnt down the White House Farage said Trump could beat the commentators and the pollsters with a people’s army against the establishment and take the White House.[…]

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Quote of the Day

Heather Wheeler talks to Burton Mail about her tweet…

“It was a tongue in cheek pop after the European Parliament tweet – it was purely that. I also wanted to congratulate Team GB on a brilliant result and thirdly congratulate the Commonwealth countries who also did very well. Fourth, I am also looking forwarded to establishing new trade agreements. That was it – nothing more. Let’s just enjoy the summer!”

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Who Said it: Blair or Smith? Who Said it: Blair or Smith?
Labour MPs Love Theresa May As Well Labour MPs Love Theresa May As Well
Labour Adviser Created “Theresa May for PM” Campaign Labour Adviser Created “Theresa May for PM” Campaign
FARAGE TO TRUMP “I COME TO YOU WITH A MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM” FARAGE TO TRUMP “I COME TO YOU WITH A MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM”
Max Mosley Funds Tom Watson’s 11 Advisers Max Mosley Funds Tom Watson’s 11 Advisers
“JEREMY, JEREMY, JEREMY” “JEREMY, JEREMY, JEREMY”
FANCY A JOB IN DANCZUK’S OFFICE? FANCY A JOB IN DANCZUK’S OFFICE?
TEAM GB SING NATIONAL ANTHEM ON VICTORY JET HOME TEAM GB SING NATIONAL ANTHEM ON VICTORY JET HOME
HOW BRITISH EMPIRE BEATS EU FOR OLYMPIC MEDALS HOW BRITISH EMPIRE BEATS EU FOR OLYMPIC MEDALS
PRCA Complain to Carolyn Harris Over Lobbyist’s Pass PRCA Complain to Carolyn Harris Over Lobbyist’s Pass
Oily Smith the Devolution Dodger Oily Smith the Devolution Dodger
Times Runs Full Page Ad for “China Heroes” Times Runs Full Page Ad for “China Heroes”
SONG FOR JEREMY SONG FOR JEREMY
DROMEY CUTS SHORT ATTACK ON CORBYN TO GREET CORBYN WARMLY DROMEY CUTS SHORT ATTACK ON CORBYN TO GREET CORBYN WARMLY
LABOUR MP GIVES LOBBYIST PARLIAMENTARY PASS LABOUR MP GIVES LOBBYIST PARLIAMENTARY PASS
BILL ETHERIDGE SPEAKS: “IT’S BEEN HARD TIMES” BILL ETHERIDGE SPEAKS: “IT’S BEEN HARD TIMES”
JAMIE OLIVER’S SUGARY, FATTY ADVERTISING HYPOCRISY JAMIE OLIVER’S SUGARY, FATTY ADVERTISING HYPOCRISY
LABOUR CONFERENCE CRISIS TALKS BREAK DOWN LABOUR CONFERENCE CRISIS TALKS BREAK DOWN
BRUTAL TORY ATTACK AD SAYS LABOUR SOFT ON ISIS BRUTAL TORY ATTACK AD SAYS LABOUR SOFT ON ISIS
CORBYN TO ATTEND MOMENTUM EVENT WITH VILE INTERNET TROLL CORBYN TO ATTEND MOMENTUM EVENT WITH VILE INTERNET TROLL