If you want to find out what happened when Emily Nomates confronted Charlie Whelan you’ll need to watch Guy News. Fair and balanced Emily also “Fact Checks” Guido’s pursuit of a familar foe.  Look out for the return of some old villains and a war-room briefing from the Conservative chairthumb, Eric Tickles, finishing up with musical cabaret show.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Guidogram, you’ll have to wait until next week to see it…

UPDATE : If your link doesn’t work click on the screen picture in the email.

Peter Mandelson is becoming increasingly irritated with the unions stranglehold on Labour Party candidate selection process. Funnily enough they keep turning up their nose up at his friends. He has been looking for a safe seat for one of them since 2007 and Downing Street are pushing hard for control of the race to succeed outgoing Labour MP (and Old Etonian) Mark Fisher.

Guido isn’t sure a name like the Hon. Tristram Hunt is going to go down with the Unite paymasters never mind the voters of Stoke-on-Trent…

The Parliamentary Standards Commissioner has blown any idea that the Lib Dems were somehow above the fray of the expenses scandal right out of the water. In a serious knock to Clegg’s pious act, John Lyon declared that four Liberal Democrat MPs; Richard Younger-Ross, John Barrett, Sandra Gidley and Paul Holmes, were guilty of a “serious misjudgment” concerning dodgy rent agreements in the exclusive MPs dormitory block at Dolphin Square.  There is tumbleweed blowing through Liberal Democrat Voice.

Guido imagines some leaflets might need reprinting, luckily the Lib Dems have a way of dealing with that on the cheap…

Don’t really know what to make of the news that a TV company is searching for a Gordon Brown double.  Obviously it is just a temporary position until May 6…

This is Guido’s favourite TV double-take of Gordon :

Here is a little musical preview.  Subscribe to get the whole episode this afternoon. Or you’ll have to wait until Monday…

In this video wee Dougie Alexander shows why he won’t be a leadership contender after the election. His less than inspiring back-room boy style briefing from Labour HQ is somewhat reminiscent of Eric Pickles’s efforts, yet it has all the joy and excitement of a game of bowls. Labour are spinning all they want that “people win elections – not posters” but it’s a poor effort at hiding the fact the party have no money. Did the Labour Party claim they didn’t need posters in 1997 when the money was rolling in?

What Labour are doing well at though is the virtual-phone-banking. It’s a move right out of the Obama play-book and with the full weight of the Unite machine organising behind them, it seems that Labour are outdoing their Tory counterparts in making sure their wavering core wake up. People in marginals are already complaining of the near constant bombardment. Still many weeks to go and it will only get worse.

UPDATE : You must read this fantastic piece by Dizzy about Wee Dougie: Labour Unveils its Radical New Strategy.

As Tory flutters begin to subside, the race to become the next Prime Minister’s Spokesman is hotting up. Given that the Tories have hinted at American-style televised lobby briefings to open up politics, someone with a pretty face as well as a way with words is needed. Andy Coulson is being deliberately sketchy about whether he will go to Downing Street or return to the Murdoch fold, if he does stay he will be wanting to be the person telling  the spokesman what to say. Cameron’s current spinner Gabby Bertin is said to have her eye on the job and apparently gets rather grumpy when people discuss other contenders, though there is no doubt that candidates are emerging. Henry McCrory shouldn’t be ruled out completely either.

The BBC’s James Landale, a fellow Old Etonian, has publicly denied he is interested in the job but his name keeps popping up. He was tipped for promotion at the BBC but Guido understands he privately hints he might be off elsewhere.  Talking of leaving the BBC, Boris’s man Guto Hari has been mentioned, he was supposedly first offered the job which Coulson eventually took, but is very loyal to the prince-across-the-water. Ian Birrell, the former deputy-editor of  The Indy is apparently rather close to Cameron and another mooted candidate.  Julia Hartley-Brewer of the Sunday Express is an outside bet.  Prize for most obvious brown-nosing (of late) has to go to The Telegraph’s Ben Brogan though, wired into CCHQ he has certainly written some pleasantly glowing pieces in recent weeks, one of the few journalists to refrain from having too much of a dig during the recent wobbles. His loyalty to Team Cameron when they were under fire will not have gone unnoticed…

UPDATE : When Guido was preparing the graphic above he eventually gave up on finding a picture of Gabby Bertin, Cameron’s seemingly very elusive Press Secretary. She is clearly quite good at her job as it took a good six hours for one to finally turn up. Sadly it is not the famed karaoke snap apparently out there.

It’s a rare moment any way.

Co-conspirator Colleen points out that Whelan (pronounced /ˈhwiːlən/) is an anglicisation of the Irish surname, Ó Faoláin. The surname originates from the Middle Irish ‘Úa Faeláin’ (plural, ‘Uí Faeláin’) the name of the 10th to 11th century ruling dynasy of the Déisi, a population group inhabiting the area of the modern county of Waterford and south county Tipperary in the early medieval period.  The word “faolán” is derived from the Old Irish word “faelán” meaning a small wolf.

Did anyone else spot Charlie Whelan’s ridiculous claim that he wasn’t allowed to give a view on the merits of the BA strike?  In reality he knows that it is unpopular and a negative for Unite’s political wing, the Labour Party.  So he is sidestepping the clash of interests between his paymasters and their beneficiaries.